Neigh York.
East Broadway, just off of the Manehattan Bridge.
7:00 PM
I was in the old cafe, with a cup of joe, black, no milk or sugar, I liked it tough and surprising, like me.
I was sitting in the corner table, waiting for my contact when suddenly...
Oh wait, that’s the intro for my ‘murder noir’ fic.
Where’s the intro for my...
Oh right, here it is:
Here I am, a royal Canterlot guard, my job is to take care of the royal sisters. Good pay, fair hours, not a bad job. The problem is, I signed up to be a caretaker for two princesses, not be their *shudder* foalsitter. Don’t get me wrong, Celestia and Luna are sweet and adorable but quite a hooffull at times... okay all the time, but at least they like me.
CRASH!!
Crap, I’ve got to stop monologuing so much.
“Luna, get off the pantry shelf, you could hurt yourself!”
“How? I’ve got great balance, I’m not gonna fall.”
“That’s not the point young filly, now there is broken glass everywhere on the floor and up there, you could get cut.”
She giggles at my unintentional pun “Not if I’m careful, Cloudy!”
I sigh and fly up, grab the dark blue filly and gently put her back on the ground. I start cleaning up the glass. Luna seems mad, but even her grumpy face is cute, why is she so easy to forgive?
“Princess, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t call me ‘Cloudy’, my name is Cloud Dasher.”
“But that sounds boring, like you are.”
I roll my eyes “I’m here to care for you, not be fun, princess. By the way, where is your sister?”
Luna thinks for a few seconds “I dunno.”
That’s not good, who knows what either of them could get up to if unattended? I look at Luna, and pick her up before taking off. “Hold on Luna, let’s find Celestia.”
Luna just hops onto my back and grabs my mane, giggling at the ride “Wheeeeeeeeee! Go faster! Wheeeee!”
I can already tell this is going to be a long day...
Flying through the castle, I look for Celestia. Normally you’d think a white filly with a pink mane would be easy to spot, but the castle has so many bright colors, her being small can make her very hard to spot. I make a quick lap through some of the hallways and main stairways, but I don’t find her, so I check the other rooms, eventually returning to the pantry. I see something move out of the corner of my eye, and turn to see... a cookie jar? It was laying on it’s side and moving. Cautiously I strafed around it, keeping Luna covered by one of my wings while eyeing the jar suspiciously. Soon, I get to the other side of the cookie jar, and I see a little pink tail, munching sounds coming from inside. I sigh loudly and grab the tail in my teeth gently and pull Celestia out of the jar, she looks up at me a chocolate chip cookie in her mouth.
“Celly, can I have one?” Luna asks noticing the cookie. I put both fillies on the ground, and put the cookie jar back on the top shelf, how either of them get up there is beyond me. “No, no cookies, don’t spoil your dinner.” I take the cookie from Celestia, but then they both look at me with their giant eyes. Curse those eyes, why must they be so cute? WHY!? Obviously I give in and break the cookie into two halves, giving one part to each princess.
Once they are finished, I escort them outside to the garden. “Now you two can play all you want out here, but if anything happens to either of you, I want you to tell me, don’t try and fix it yourselves, understand fillies?” They agree, but not before calling me ‘Sir captain Worry-wart’, they then run off into the garden to play with each other. I watch them carefully, hoping that they can manage to stay out of trouble for at least an hour. Those two fillies can be so difficult, I don’t know why they thought it was a job for one stallion, how could any single pony handle two young fillies? Maybe I could try and get a partner, but who would want to help? The only reason I do this is for the money... and because the sisters are so dang adorable.
It is seven in the afternoon and the fillies somehow kept safe until their bedtime. After a lot of struggling and complaining, I finally got them to sleep, bath time is always a struggle, how can they run so fast on such stubby hooves? Sure they are a hassle during the day, but when they are asleep, I swear a pony could mistake them for angels, they are so cute it makes some of this trouble worthwhile.
I head to my room and look at myself in the mirror. My hunter-green coat seemed alright, my silver mane slightly messy as usual, but one look at the rings under my grayish-blue eyes reminded me of how tired I was. Before going to bed, I look at my cutie mark (a pair of crossed feathers) which I had got for having such dextrous wings. I may not have been the fastest flyer, but my maneuverability alone had gotten me into the royal guard. I lean down, jump back, and do a triple backflip in mid-air, finishing with a side twirl before landing right on my bed.
“Ya still got it, Cloud Dasher, ya still got it.” I whisper to myself smugly before I get under the covers and go to sleep. Today was alright.
“Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Help!” I get up as fast as I can almost tripping over my tail somehow and grab my spear, rushing to Luna’s room. I raise the weapon for a stab attack and open the door quickly to find Luna holding up a stuffed owl toy. I look to the side and aim my spear at... nothing. I check the room carefully, the window is closed and fine, nothing unusual. I go over and hold Luna to get her to stop crying. Eventually she does and I ask her what the problem is. She pulls her covers over her head and squeaks adorably, but this is no time to be distracted.
“Luna, speak up, what is the matter?”
“Th- th- there’s a m- m- m- monster in my closet!!”
“Really? Well where is it?” I ask sarcastically, but her reply surprised me a little.
“It’s right there!” She is pointing towards the closet, and I actually see something! A dark towering figure with huge teeth! I rush towards it but stop when I realized something, it’s not moving or making any sound whatsoever. I look at the ground and see a dragon toy, a shadow of it cast on the wall from Luna’s night light. I take the dragon toy and put it in her toy box and go over to the quivering pile of blankets that was princess Luna and look under the covers.
“It’s okay Luna, the monster is gone, I took care of it.”
She says thank you and hugs me. Yes, this job is almost always worth it.