'Versing Space

by Shadowhawk

Dancing Dragon

"Thank you so much for bringing me here, Fenii." Sarah's melodic voice sings to you.

"You're entirely welcome, Sar." You smile.

Ah, this dream again.

You both went to the 50th annual 'Strawberry fair' ball, although you never did find out why it was called that. They'd used the largest room in the senate house, decking it out with thousands of streamers, balloons and banners. Hundreds of guests milled around, mostly upper crust but afew high flying business men too. Champagne flowed freely and there was much mingling. Then the music started.

"M'lady, my I have this dance?"

"But Fenii! I don't know how this goes, I'll look bad!"

"I've been practicing for years, Sar. In my hands, you'll look like a princess."

She agreed. Ah! Strauss! The Blue Danube Waltz. In your masterful hands, Sarah danced beautifully. She was graceful, beautiful and so full of love. You could feel everyone watching you with envious eyes as you outshone all the others on the dancefloor. Then you bowed to the polite applause at the end.

Ah. Wonderful.

The room fades. It feels like you're floating now, half way between asleep and reality. No real concerns, no real thoughts. Serene. Then your head starts to ache, your back feels knotted and your mouth is dry. You hear a voice say something far away.

"Twilight, I'm back from Canterlot!"

Whatever it is sounds young and vaguely male. A muted gasp. You've obviously been spotted. You open your eyes very slightly. Strange green things are right infront of you in a sea of white. They are eyes. You finally deduce. Way too close. Very carefully, very slowly, you start to reach for your rifle. One strike is all I need.

"What is this thing?" It whispers in awe.

You hold off on getting your rifle, its obviously not a threat, its just curious. Creepy as hell, but curious. You open your eyes fully and it jumps back in surprise with a yell. Its about two feet tall. Most of its scaly body is purple, except for the green underbelly. Its head has a green mohawk, with what appears to be scaley sideburns and a small snout. Its stubby arms end in a four digit like claws. Its body is plump and has a tail. It walks on two legs. Its obviously young and the fuckin thing looks terrified.

"Hello." You say to it, it recoils at your greeting.

"Ahh! You can talk too! What are you!?"

"I'm human. My name is Fenris. What is your name, small lizard?" It seems to be offended by that.

"I'm not a lizard. I'm a dragon! I'm Spike!" It puffs out its chest to look bigger but only succeeds in making itself look silly.

"A dragon? Aren't you abit small?" Its not even got wings.

"I'm still a baby dragon." It looks around uneasily, "Where's Twilight?"

"A good question. A better question would be: Where's Farle and Twili..."

Oh no. Please Gods, not this again.

"Who's Farle?" The dragon enquires, missing the implication.

"He's a human, like me. We travel together. Last thing before I fell asleep, him and the purple pony were talking. Well, she was talking, he was sitting there looking at her like she the most delicious candy he's ever seen. I call that his 'book face'."

"He has a book for a face?"

"Its an expression. If you want I could comm him and see where he is?"

"What's a comm and sure." You chin the 'extend aerial' button and a rapier thin piece of metal slides up out of your left pauldron.

"Well a comm is like..." Hmm. Explain futuretech to a society of magicians. "Its like magic, really, I speak here and my voice appears in his suit."

"So what's that metal for?" He points at the aerial.

"So my voice can reach him, its like a magic wand for speaking to others from afar."

The dragon seems to accept this without question. You chin the private comm for Farle.

"Time to get up, 'Prince' Farle." You add as much sarcasm as you can.

A moment later, you hear your voice echo from somewhere above and behind you. Then some hoof and foot noises. Then a moment later a rather tired looking Unicorn trots down the stairs with Farle in tow. He looks at you wearing a grin and you return it with a baleful glare.

"Twilight?" Even the little dragon is suspicious now.

"Spike!" She wraps him in a wierd sort of hug for a moment. Farle starts to make tiny hip thrusting motions while they aren't looking.

Oh god. He did. FUCKING FUCKING FUCKIN...

"Twilight?" Spike says, breaking the hug. Then alternates between looking at her and Farle.

"Oh he spent the night in my room." She blushes in realisation, "In the spare bed!" She quickly adds.

"And I had a wonderful time last night, Twilight." His eyes are filled with mischievous glee. "Thank you."

Twilight's blush deepens. Spike looks like he's going to throw up...whatever it is dragons eat. You decide you've had enough. You get up, walk over to him and punch him hard on the arm drawing gasps from the others.

"That's for being a fucking idiot." Oh Shit! he's supposed to be a prince!

"....M'lord." You look away, damage already done. Farle laughs.

"Don't worry bout that Fenris, she figured out I'm not a prince. She even understood why I lied about it. Also." He punches you on the arm in return. "I didn't do what you're thinking I did. We talked. Then we went to our little seperate beds and slept."

Farle starts eyeing up the dragon. "What's this then?"

"I'm Spike! I'm a dragon!"

"Bit small for a dragon, ain't ya?"

"BABY dragon!" You, Spike and Twilight say at the same time.

"Alright! Sheesh. Can you breathe fire?"

"Yep! I send letters to Princess Celestia that way!" Farle stares at it, disbelieving.

"You send letters. To the Princess. By burning them."

"Yep! Dragon magic!" Farle seems alot less shocked now.

"Oh! I should send Princess Celestia a note about you two!" Twilight chimes in, "Spike, take a note."

The little dragon whips off for a moment, before returning with a scroll and quill. He nods to Twilight.

"Dearest Princess Celestia, yesterday my friend Rarity met two new creatures called 'Humans'. Their names are Farle and Fenris. They come from a planet called 'Earth' and are very interested in learning more about us. Some of their habits are strange, but they seem friendly enough. Just thought you'd like to know. Signed, your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle."

Spike rolls up the scroll with some sort of ribbon and seal. Then holds it out infront of him and belches green flame. The resulting cloud of ash and remains wanders off out the window.

"Well that was wierd." Farle says, "Twilight, can I ask you a favour?"

"Anything for a new friend!" She smiles. New friend? Sheesh.

"Have you got any food? I'm starving."

"Well, I haven't had Spike here to help me shop, so all I've got is hay."

Farle looks at you for a second, then back to her.

"That's.." You can tell he's looking for a nicer way to say we can't fucking eat hay, "Not biochemically compatable with our metabolism."

"Well I guess we could go to Sugarcube corner, but Ponyville isn't used to..."

"Monsters like us?" Farle laughs at your analysis.

"I was going to say 'unusual creatures', but yes."

"Hey Spike, want a piggyback ride?" Farle says.

"What's a piggyback ride?" He replies.

"You sit on my head while we walk."

"That sounds awesome! Yes!" Farle picks him up and puts him on his neck. Spike grips his forehead.

"And now," Farle says, "We look adorably non-threatening, right?"

You look at Twilight, she's holding back a laugh, So are you. She looks at you and you burst out laughing. Tears stream down both your faces and your sides hurt.

"Mission accomplished! Now lets get some grub!"

---

Got a problem with ponies? Apply Drag-on directly to the forehead! You laugh internally, good one brain, pity its only partially effective.

The ponies of Ponyville weren't quite running away yet, but by the look of them, they were both confused and terrified. Terrified because, well, you're a 6'5 monster wearing what might appear to be battle armor. Confused because of the supposedly well known dragon that now sits on your head. Spike gives acouple of ponies a wave and they tentatively return it. You try waving and they duck out of sight. Well that's friendly!

"Looks like the locals are spooked." Fenris says.

"I'd hoped they'd gotten over this after last time." Twilight says.

"You mean the last time two huge metal creatures stumbled into town? Forgot to mention that!" You grin.

"It was a different pony, well zebra. Atleast they're not hiding." Twilight responds, looking annoyed.

"Fenris, I am so tempted to start blasting rock music right now."

"Farle, don't. I'm not going to argue with you if you do, I'll just shoot you and be done with it." He puts his hand on his rifle to make a point and you chuckle.

"You guys are wierd." Spike says above you, "But this piggyback ride is fun!"

"Yes it is!" A higher pitched voice says. Above Spike? What?

You notice a hoof. A bright pink hoof on your pauldron, you turn your head, there is another one on your right pauldron. Looking down, you see too more resting on your belt somehow. Looking back up and are greeted with two massive blue eyes staring back at you. Impossible!

"How." You demand from those blue orbs, "How did you get on my back without me noticing? How....you're not male are you?"

"Don't bother asking that, its Pin...why does her gender matter?" Twilight replies, confused.

The eyes feel like they're boring into you now, like this is some deeply twisted creature that is weighing your soul to see if you are worthy. Those two stygian depths that cry with the tortured songs of terrible, haunting madness. Everything else on the periphery grows dark, apart from those two globes.

Am I dead? Have I died? Is this what it is like to die?

You hear something whisper from the dark abyss.

"Your mind sings of a terrible, horrible truth that will drive you mad. But I know how to save you, creature, you need only ask."

"Will you save me?" You whisper.

"Yes, creature, I will. Blink and you will be saved."

You gulp. It takes every fiber of your willpower to close your eyes in the face of that oily darkness. What terror awaits me? We have been tortured to near death before, but what new horror is this? You feel something on your back, it shifts and moves off. You almost don't want to open your eyes, knowing that whatever comes next will no doubt result in your to death.

You open your eyes expecting to die and see the pink pony. She is standing by a wagon and she is smiling gleefully. She hits a red button on it. Suddenly, the entire thing explodes with streamers, flags, horns and some baked goods. She starts to sing a song, but you're not listening.

This pony is clearly fucking mental. Nuts. LOONEY! A dark fucking introduction to some random person you just met, then a show?! Kill it before it kills us!

"Wait for it!" She says as the oven on the wagon fires out a volley of confetti all over your little group.

"Fenris." He grunts, "I have seen some shit. Then I have seen this shit. Tell me that just happened."

"It happened."

The pink pony looks up hopefully at your uncomprehending faces. You take Spike off your head, take afew steps so you're practically infront of Pinkie and go down onto one knee. You stare into its eyes with the most menacing glare you can muster and whisper to it:

"I have seen men torn apart by the limbs of a terrible, eight legged monster that consumed them while they screamed for death. I have watched while soldiers slaughtered whole families. I have been subject to a month long torture session with a shewitch from hell."

"But YOU are terrifying. What are you, abomination?" You poke her shoulder and she looks at you with large, frightened eyes.

"I'm Pinkie Pie." She mewls, "I just wanted to be friends."

Christ almighty! THAT'S ONE OF THEIR FRIENDS! ABORT! ABORT!

She looks like she's about to burst into tears. Her bubbly hair has visibly deflated. You make a point of snapping off both of your gauntlets and placing them to one side. You can practically feel the tension in the air rise as you do so. You offer your right hand and chin the camo mode control. The writing starts to fade.

"My name is Farle." You say as the coloration changes to bright pink, "And I'll be your friend."

She gasps, tears forgotten and rushes forward in an almighty bear hug. Slamming into you so hard it knocks you onto your back, you tumble for a moment before coming to rest. She's squealing into your ear like a crazy person. Or pony. You give her a stratch behind the ears with one hand while holding her lower back with the other.

I can't believe that worked. No really, what the fuck? You and me both brain.

"Alright! Enough, please." You say to the fluffy mass, "I'm starving!"

"OhdoyoulikecupcakesbecauseILOVECUPCAKES!ohdoyoudoyoudoyou?"

"Do cupcakes?"

"Do you like cupcakes?" She slows down for you.

"Hmm. Can't remember. Hey Fenris, when was the last time we had cupcakes?"

"Over a decade" He replies, "Can't really remember what they taste like.

Pinkie looks displeased at this. Oh Gods, you're on my chest, don't turn killer! I like my limbs in their current configuration! Should have just threatened and walked away!

"Come. With. Me. Right. Now." She sternly says to you.

She leaps off your chest and stands there expectantly. You roll over, grab your gauntlets and stand. Fenris, Spike and Twilight stare at you like you just awoke an angry bear for a laugh.

"Lead on Pinkie!" And she starts bouncing. Literally bouncing along the road.

"So do you like to party?" She asks.

"Fuck yea!" You fist the sky.

"Good. New pony in town, so you get a party! Cakes, games, dancing and drinks!"

Then Pinkie's smile gets even bigger as you join in bounce-walking with her. Party! Whooo! Drinking! Dancing! Making outrageous claims about your adventures! Making out with ladi...ponies! Actually that last one doesn't sound so good. Who the fuck cares! PARTY HARD!