'Versing Space

by Shadowhawk

Making entry

It felt only 5 minutes ago you were laughing away in the tavern, recounting your adventures through the multiverse with your buddy Fenris to a throng of glassy-eyed villagers who were absolutely bowled over with your flashy armor and quick wit. Now here you are, three hours later. Surrounded by those same villagers wielding pickforks, torches and evil looks. You've got your combat knife out, Fenris is armed with this old pulse rifle and you're in an old fashioned standoff.

"What the fuck are you doing, Farle?" Fenris yells at you through the private communication radio.

"What? They said they had a book! I only snuck a tiny read of it! I didn't think they'd blow their tops over it!"

"You mean their HOLY book? The one they said only priests 'most penitent' may read?! What did you think was going to happen?"

"Hey, I haven't anything to read in nearly a year! I'm dyin' here!"

"I really wish you'd stop with the whole 'quest for knowledge by the worst means possible!' I've lost count of the amount of times you've gotten us in a sticky situation!"

"Hey! Knowledge is awesome! Better than your boring 'culture'! You wouldn't be wearing that Omnisuit if I didn't do what I do!"

"If you didn't do what you do, I wouldn't NEED TO WEAR IT!"

"Pfft!"

The outline of your HUD changes from red to green. The Hypercube has finished feeding on the energy of the multiverse and its ready to go.

"Sorry ladies!" You yell to the villagers, "Smell ya laters!"

You hit the activator. With a bang you're torn from that reality with your buddy in tow. The multiverse sings around you in a spectrum of color and light like no other. You aren't so much flying as falling through a sea of energy, where things sparkle and shine. It never gets old to travel through the 'verse in this manner. So many wonders and so many worlds to explore.

'All except one.'

'Oh thanks a bunch brain, I was having a good time'. You tell yourself.

'Dicks in for landing!'

The multiverse collapses into an exit.

---

Your name is Fenris and boy, you are pissed off right now. Not only did that bloody single minded fool ruin a perfectly good tavern drinking session, he's gone and forgotten to recalibrate the Hypercube. Now the both of you are 20 feet above the ground, held there by the dying gravity field of the multiverse transfer. This is not fun, this is not pleasant and you are going to kick his ass.

The gravity field disappears. Now you are falling. Fantastic. You hit the ground. Even better! You're buried up to your waist! You're getting sick and tired of being the straight man to this idiot. You're going to shoot him, take the Hypercube and...

And what? Wander the multiverse alone? The idiot is a broken toy, he can't help it, after what he thinks he did you'd probably be broken too! Plus, for all your complaining he's still your friend. He still needs someone to stop him from going further into that madness that flies around in that big head of his and goddamnit you're the guy! The bruised and buried guy, but hell, that's one of the requirements of the job. That and drinking. Oh lord the drinking.

You pull yourself from the ground, Farle's looking around, even with his helmet on you can see he is not happy about landing here.

"Ugh, ANOTHER forest world? Why can't we have another nice industrialised society. With booze. And something to read."

"You're the one who didn't recalibrate before we left, besides you know its random."

"Alright Fagris."

"Fuck you Farle."

The two men stop swapping decade old barbs for a moment and surveyed the forest around them.

"You notice how they're all off-colored? And creepy looking?" Farle said.

"Yes. This is a creepy forest, just like every other creepy ass forest world we've EVER been on! Come on, lets go find some water, reserves are low after that last jump and I don't want to start drinking recycled again."

Picking a random direction, you start off through the forest.

---

Eventually, you come across a small lake of the purest blue water you've ever seen. It is still wreathed in the forest, but looks absolutely beautiful. It gently shimmers in the daylight.

"Fuck me, I haven't seen water like that since...well ever!" Youexclaimed, reaching up to detach his helmet.

Fenris, being far more responsible of the two, placed a guarded hand on your shoulder.

"I think not. Check biofilters first. No more 'Hey, that alien air looks so good...oh god its methane!'"

"Always the buzzkill!"

A click of a button and a moment later: The HUD status updates. Biofilters pronounce this world's air gloriously free of any poisons or toxins. The motion sensors, however, indicate something moving closeby.

"Contact," Farle comm'ed, "15 meters ahead. You wanna do the cowardly cover while I man up?"

Fenris pulled a grey, two foot, box-like object from his thigh and hit the activation tab. It slowly unfolded into a rifle that fit snugly into both of his hands.

"Man up? You mean: Playing it safe while you endanger your ass again?" He laughs.

You chin the 'stealth run' option on your omnisuit, causing the power assist mode to quieten down considerably and pull a knife from the thighplate and gently moved towards the contact. Pulling down a leaf that blocked your path, you saw the back of a yellow creature with a pink tail, its head buried into the crevice of a tree. It had several....butterflies on its hindquarters. This has to be a pet with those tattoos, eh! I've seen stranger things in the Glitter band.

You took another step forward and snap a twig. The creature span around like a shot, looking everywhere before locking its terrified eyes on you and lets out a quiet 'eep'.

That's just fucking adorable!

"Easy girl!" you said, taking a step forward, eliciting another eep from the creature, "Easy! I'm not going to hurt you!"

Fenris butted in: "You're still on private comms, idiot, what is that anyway?"

"Some sort of pet, gunna try and calm it the down. Maybe it'll lead us to its master."

You reach up to remove your helmet, before realising you're still holding the foot long combat knife. Slowly holstering the weapon. You snap off your lid and clipped it to your belt.

"There there, little one," you whispered quietly at the creature, "I'm not going to hurt you."

The creature responded by backing away from you, trying to hide its face behind its pink fur and 'eep'ing for a third time. You take the opportunity to race forward, grab it by the midsection and bring it to your chestplate in a rapid bearhug before it could escape.

---

You squared your rifle away and started laughing. The creature was a yellow and pink blur atop your friend. Scrabbling to get away with all its might. It had knocked Farle off his feet and landed him, ass first, on the ground.

"Making a new friend, I see!"

"Not now!" he yelled back.

"Hush, hush!" Farle was whispering at the creature kindly, "Please! I know its abit scary but if you don't calm down you're going to hurt yourself!"

That seemed to do the trick, the creature still had pin-pricks for pupils, but it had stopped trying to tear itself out of his grasp. Farle took a moment to snap off one of his gauntlets and give the creature alittle scratch behind the ears.

"What did I tell you, Fenris? Alittle time, patience and viola!"

---

Fenris gave him one of his typical: 'Ugh' looks that even his helmet could not hide before announcing he was going to check the water.

"That's my buddy, Fenris" Farle said to the creature, "He's alright, you don't need to be afraid of him either."

Farle noticed that the thing was still shaking like a leaf. He didn't want to let go of it just yet, in case it ran away. So he opted to use the old fashioned calming technique. A good old stroke.

He snapped off the other gauntlet and started started running his hand down the creatures neck which seemed to lessen the shaking considerably. Then alternated by making little scratch motions down its back. Feeling two boney protrusions from its sides, which seemed to be...

"Wings? Well that's a first" he said aloud, feeling how tense the joint was between the wings and body were.

The reaction was almost immediate as he started to massage that tight little knot of muscle, its body went almost limp against his chest plate and sighed. Ahah! Victory! He thought the wings slowly began to unfurl themselves and spread slightly. Curiousity getting the better of him, he ran his fingers along the leading edge of the wing. The structure was oddly avian. A slightly firmer rub into the muscles elicited what he could only assume was the horse-equivalent of a purr. The wings slowly rose and reached full extension.

---

The water turned out to be curiously devoid of any impurities normally associated with an industrialised society, including radiation. Best you can figure, its just really clean water containing only naturally occuring minerals and salts.

I was right, another forest world. Farle will not be pleased.

You take a step out of the little lake and return to the tree where your friend is. You find him propped up against a tree with the creature, laying on his chest with its head resting on his shoulder. It apparently has wings, which Farle is now gently massaging. He's got that inquisitive smile on his face. You favored him with a slightly disgusted look, the creature looks like its enjoying that a bit too much. You cough.

"Water's pure." Farle looks up at you then back at the creature.

"Well good news! Have you seen our little friend here! It has WINGS!" He sounds excited.

"...Right." He's not noticed its expression.

"What?" Farle stopped his stroking, "Its got wings! A quadruped with wings!"

You hear something whisper.

"More what?" Farle says, looking at you.

"I didn't say nuthin." You reply.

Farle slowly turned to look at the head of the creature resting on his left shoulder. It returned his gaze dreamily.

"More...please?" It said to him.

Farle screamed.

---

The creature had remarkable speed, you have to admit, demounting Farle in a single bound before disappearing into the forest. Even the motion tracker registered it as a single long blur heading northward. Farle was screamed for a good 20 seconds in what you can only assume is blind terror. And you laughed at him. Hard.

"What. The. Fuck." he said when he finished screaming, looking at his hands in horror.

"I think it was getting off on that!"

"That's so..." Farle's face loses its horrified expression, "I have the strangest boner right now."

"You disgust me, seriously."

"What?" He tries to look innocent and fails.

"I haven't forgotten about that goddamn Spider princess, you disgusting fuck."

"What can I say?" Farle shrugged, "I've got a thing for long legs."

"It had EIGHT legs! It was TWELVE feet tall! IT WAS A FUCKING SPIDER!"

"So?"

"You're like the goddamn Captain Kirk of the multiverse, the sick fuck version."

"I aim to please, buddy!" Farle favors you with a grin.

"Lets just get out of here. That creature headed north. Lets get refilled from that pond and go."

"Don't worry! We'll find you a nice male horse!" Farle slaps you on the shoulder with a laugh.

"Fuck you Farle."

---

The forest seemed practically identical to every other world, long slow trudges through mud, vines and sludge. After several hours, you were almost hoping for a wolf. Or a bear. Or anything that would distract you from the near-constant recollections of Farle as he relayed just about every experience you've had together.

"So then I say, 'Hey, you know what, lets boogie!' and then an entire chapter of some Goddamn Imperial dicks shows up and tells me to 'Stop right there, criminal scum!'"

"This is the 90th time I've heard this story, Farle."

"What? Its a good one!"

"I WAS THERE!" You yell.

"And so you know why they nearly shit themselves when I started firing my pistol! They thought it was a dragon!" Farle starts to laugh, "Dragons! I nearly pissed myself!"

"Was that before or after those infernal mudcrabs?"

"After, those annoying fucks, they have sharp pincers but damn if they weren't the slowest gits I've ever..."

You've finally reached the edge of the forest. As far as you can tell, the wilderness of the forest immediately stopped at the border. Beyond that lay nothing but lush green grass and another horse-creature. It was covered in white fur, its tail purple and highly stylised. Atop its head was some sort of jeweled hat and a horn. It appeared to be having some sort of picnic.

"See that?" You say, "That's a goddamn Unicorn!"

Farle looks over at the creature, you can practically hear his brain kick it up a gear as he takes in this new creature's form.

"Perhaps there is a heirarchy?" He finally mutters, his tone contemplative, "If there are a multitude of subspecies, perhaps they share similar traits, could this one talk too?"

"Too soon to tell." You reply.

"Wings are technically superior," Farle isn't listening, "But who knows what the horn does? Perhaps a measure of dominance, like antlers, or breeding or...magic?"

He shudders at the word, you wait a moment before replying to the unasked question.

"We're in another 'verse, she can't be here."

"And yet," His voice is small and worried, "She has found us before, she may find us again."

Yes, it is possible, very possible and that's terrifying enough of a thought by itself.

"Its wearing a jewel encrusted hat and is having a tea party for one, how hostile could something like that be?"

"Hmm. Alright, hats and tea are civilised, right? Spot of tea, pip!" He has immediately switched back to his good old self. Good.

"Jolly good old chap! Best foot forward!" You chuckle.

You push out of the forest. Time to meet the locals!

Comments

[Sandman]

Farle is awesome.
You better write more or so help me...

[Relevant Heavy Metal]

Warp Riders - The Sword

[Shadowhawk]

1631077
How oddly appropriate.

1630653
You shall see. Oh yes. You shall see!