Chapter 1: Falling Flakes
The sun is shining bright today, the sun’s rays warming your coat. It is a crisp winter day; the snow reflecting the sun back at you, the ice twinkling like stars, it is all so beautiful. Your breath forming small clouds as you walk along the path through the park.
A stiff breeze rolls through, causing you to shiver. You look around the park. It was quite serene, the few birds that stayed during the winter were out and singing, there is a heavy blanket of snow on the ground and the naked trees held snow and ice in their branches. It looked like a painting; it was really a sight to see.
Some little colts and fillies were playing up ahead, most likely enjoying the time off school. You remember when you and your friends would play in the snow like that. You snicker at your memories. You proceed down the cleared path, the birds singing their songs and the wind chiming the ice; it was almost as if the birds were singing along with the ice to make their songs even more tranquil.
You loved this time of year, everypony seemed happier. Maybe the snow had some sort of happiness spell on it or something; everypony just seems more pleasant during the winter. You also like what it did to the landscapes around Ponyville; it made the rolling hills look soft and fluffy, it made the park so much more peaceful, especially at night when the street lamps are lit, the snow reflects the light in a magical way. You’re lost in your thoughts, thoughts of your old friends in Canterlot, your family in Fillydelphia, and your new friends here in Ponyville.
You’ve traveled a lot in your life, even though you’ve just entered adulthood. When you were just newborn your family had been living in Fillydelphia, that’s where you grew up and went to school, but everything wasn’t sunshine and rainbows. Your father fell in with the wrong crowd, the murdering and stealing crowd. He always justified it as “Helping the family out.” But your mother hated it. He began drinking soon after. About three years after you graduated from school your father died. This hit your mother pretty hard, she fell into a deep depression, and it was up to you and your brother to look after her.
Your older brother was always a role model to you; you’ve always wanted to be like him. Funny, popular, kind, respectful and he always knew what to do. When your father passed away you turned to him for support. He did his best to keep you and your mother safe. You miss him; it’s been three years since you left home.
You left home without a trace, you could see the strain it was putting on your brother; having to look after you and your mother, it was a lot of responsibility. One day when your brother was out in the city you packed your saddlebags, took some bits, left a note and slipped out the back door without your mother noticing. It was hard being out on your own at such a young age, but you managed.
You took your bits and bought a ticket to Canterlot. Why? Because your father always told you stories about it. Huge golden towers that rose from the palace, massive gardens that surrounded the palace, streets paved in gold and money as far as the eye could see. Of course you were just a small school colt who believed everything you heard, so when you arrived at Canterlot it was a major disappointment.
Needless to say, Canterlot isn’t most friendly of places for a young colt with little money. When you stepped off the train you had little more than twenty bits, and in Canterlot, that’s nothing. You spent the next three months begging in the streets. You stayed in the poorer side of Canterlot, sure you weren’t making the big money, but at least you made some money, enough for a train ticket to Ponyville.
In the brief time you spent in Canterlot you met some other children. Chance, Flounce and Moonstone, they were your new family. They too came to Canterlot to see the rumors, but were also let down by what was there. You met them through begging, sure they weren’t the friendliest of ponies, but they helped you get the money for the train out of there. They lived in an alleyway behind the bank; for being a hut made out of cardboard and garbage bags, it was rather comfortable, it kept you dry in the rain and warm at night. Plus that mare Flounce seemed to like you.
Once you left Canterlot you found Ponyville more inviting. Sure for the first two or three months you were living on couches, but you played with the cards that were dealt. You stayed with these two mares the most. Lyra and Bon Bon, they were the nicest mares you’ve ever met. They didn’t even ask where you came from; they just looked at you and let you into their home with open arms.
After a month of mooching off them you moved out. You found yourself doing odd jobs around Ponyville, helping ponies move, helping out at the apple orchard, helping keep the park clean; you know, random stuff. It didn’t pay much but you did it so often you gathered a hefty amount of bits, and you also earned your cutie mark. That’s right; you were a blank flank for the better part of your life. This was a strange cutie mark; it was a heart with smaller hearts around it. At first you didn’t understand what it meant, but when the mare that lives at the library told you it was a cutie mark for compassion, you understood completely.
With all the help you’ve done around Ponyville, almost everypony knows who you are. You have a good job with the mail ponies. Sure you weren’t a pegasus, but they used you to haul around the big loads on the ground. It was hard at times, but it paid well.
The next two years flew by in a blur. In that time you did a ton of work for the mail ponies. During the apple harvest Applejack called you back to the farm, with you and Big Mac helping with the apple bucking it only took about two days to harvest all the apples. The three of you were efficient. You still took the odd job here and there; you wanted to help out as much as possible. It was nice to see these ponies happy.
With all the bits you had now, you bought a sizable place in the heart of the town. You were a stones throw from town hall. It was a nice place; three bedrooms, two bathrooms, large kitchen, living room, and a basement.
Looking back at your life, its been nice to you. Sure the first year after leaving home was rough, but it turned right around. You can’t say the same for your friends in Canterlot, seeing as you haven’t seen them in just under two years.
You’re brought back to the real world when you walk into something. Admittedly it was your fault; you were lost in your thoughts and not paying attention to the path ahead. You look down to see what you hit. It was a pony, a mare to be exact. It was the mare from the library; you’ve only talked to her a few times. You ran into her pretty hard, it’s surprising that you’re still standing.
“Oh, I’m so sorry, I was miles away. Are you hurt?” You ask.
“Oh, I’m fine. It was my fault though; I was reading and not paying attention.” The mare says. She looks up at you, her purple eyes meeting yours.
“Here, let me help you.” You offer. You hold out your hoof.
“Oh, thank you.” She says. She grabs your hoof and you pull her up. You reach down and pick up her book. You brush the snow off and look at the title. “Starswirl the Bearded: An In-depth Look at the Stars”
“Starswirl eh?” You say aloud.
“Yeah, do you know of him?” The mare asks.
“Yeah, I’ve read a few of his notes on how your zodiac sign can correlate with your cutie mark. It’s very interesting.” You say, handing over the book. The mare’s horn begins to glow and the book floats into her bag.
“Yeah, his theories on the stars are amazing. You should also see his notes on alchemy, if you’re into that sort of stuff.” The mare says.
“I should, do you have any in the library?” You ask
“One or two, the royal library in Canterlot has all his notes.” She says.
“May I see the ones you have?” You ask. The mare nods.
“Follow me.” She says.
You follow the purple mare to the library, during this time you think back, trying to remember your interaction with this mare. You helped her move some new bookshelves in and move some books around. She’s also the one who explained your cutie mark to you.
The way to the library was beautiful. The snow was undisturbed, except for some hoof prints leading away from the massive tree house. The tree was strange, it was hollowed out and made into a library, and on top of the library was a house. Even now the leaves were full, it was nice to see. It stood out too, bright green in a sea of white. You think it’s magic keeping the branches full of life.
“What’s keeping the leaves on the branches?” You ask looking up at the tree.
“Magic, it also keeps it warm on the inside.” The mare says. Called it! You say in your head.
As the two of you approach the tree you can feel the heat coming from it. It’s not unpleasant warmth; it’s a very welcoming warmth. The mare’s horn glows again and the door swings open. You follow her inside.
You look around the tree; it was bigger on the inside than it looked. Once again you play it off as magic. The mare was nowhere to be seen, she just sorta, disappeared.
You trot across the room and start reading the spines of the books. Some were guides, some were story books, some were old and some were new. It was all alphabetically organized too.
“You’re looking in the wrong section,” You hear a voice say. You jump slightly at the sudden voice. You look around and you don’t see the mare. You hear a chuckle. “Up here silly.” She says. You look up and notice a staircase leading up to another level of the tree, most likely the house level.
“Okay, where are they then?” You ask. The mare chuckles again.
“They’re up here. I keep them in my personal collection.” She says.
You walk over to the end of the bookshelves and head up the stairs. The second level was completely different. There was a kitchen, a table with six chairs, a loft with what looked like a bed, and a small podium looking out a window, it had a quill and inkwell sitting on it.
You spot the mare looking at her bookshelf.
“I don’t think I’ve ever caught your name.” You say, trying to break the silence.
“I’m Twilight Sparkle. Twilight for short.” The mare says.
“Okay, you do remember me right?” You ask.
“Of course I do, you’re the colt who came to me about two years ago. You were scared and confused of your cutie mark.” Twilight says with a chuckle.
“Oh, yeah,” You say. You can feel your cheeks becoming warm; you rub the back of your neck with a hoof. “You remember that?” You ask.
“Yeah I do, it was kind of cute.” Twilight says with another chuckle. It feels as if your cheeks are about to burst into flames.
“Did you find the book yet?” You ask, trying to change the subject.
“Yep, here.” Twilight’s horn glows and a book floats out of the shelf, landing on the table in front of you. You look down at it, it was very old, the text on the cover was almost completely faded.
“Thanks, but I should be going soon.” You say.
“You don’t have to go, it’s rather cold outside. You should stay for a little longer.” Twilight almost begs.
“Alright, I’ll stay, but not for long.” You say nervously. Twilight’s face lights up, she seems very happy.
“Alright, stay here. I have some things to get.” She says excitedly.
You watch the mare almost bounce down the stairs. You pull out a chair and sit at the table. Your scarf brushes your arm. You realize you hadn’t taken off your scarf; you pull on the dangling length of scarf and it comes off your neck. You place it on the table beside you.
You crack open the book Twilight got for you, it was one of the notes Starswirl the Bearded wrote on complex alchemy. It was very interesting; it dealt with how plants can be used in the process of turning lead into gold. It was very interesting indeed.
You hear hoofsteps coming up the stairs, you look back and see Twilight approaching with a stack of books on her back. She uses her magic to put them onto the table.
“What’s all this?” You ask.
“They’re for me; they’re books on what to do when having company over.” Twilight says. She walks over to the kitchen and puts a kettle on the stove and lights it. You look back at your book.
“This is very complex.” You say.
“Yeah, he’s been known to have very complex alchemy theories. That’s why I like his star charts better, they’re still complex, but I understand them better.” Twilight explains. Before long the kettle is whistling. You look up to see steam billowing out of the spout. Twilight’s horn glows and the kettle levitates off the stove and begins to pour water into two mugs.
She trots over and stirs the two mugs. She uses her magic to bring the mugs over to the table. You look inside and there’s a brown liquid with what looks like marshmallows in it.
“Oh, thank you.” You say. The aroma of chocolate fills the air.
“You’re welcome. So how have you been?” Twilight asks. You close the book and pull your mug closer.
“Well, I have my own place now.” You say.
“That’s good, still doing the odd jobs?” She asks.
“Yeah, every now and then, but I have a permanent job with the mail ponies.” You explain.
“Really? I thought they only took pegasi?” Twilight says slightly confused.
“Yeah me too, but they needed some land runners, so I took it.” You say. You pick up the mug and take a sip; it was hot and burned the tip of your tongue. You cough in response. Twilight snickers.
“So where are you from?” Twilight asks.
“Fillydelphia.” You reply.
“Wow, you’re a long way from home.” She says.
“Yeah, I haven’t been back in three years.” You say, a darker tone taking your voice.
“Why’d you leave?” She asks, prodding you for information.
“Family reasons.” You say coldly.
“Okay, I won’t push.” She says.
An awkward silence follows, the only sound coming for the birds outside and Twilight sipping her hot chocolate. You look down at your mug; it seems to have cooled off. You take a sip. The rich taste of chocolate fills your mouth; it is sweet and bitter at the same time. It is smooth like silk. You feel the warmth of the chocolate through your body as you swallow, the warmth was a welcome change, considering the weather outside; you take another sip and it’s the same sensation.
“Like it?” Twilight asks, breaking the silence.
“Yeah, this is the best hot chocolate I’ve had.” You say, enthusiasm lacing your words.
“It’s one of Spike’s recipes.” Twilight says.
“That’s right, where is your little dragon?” You ask looking around.
“He’s off in Canterlot, Princess Celestia wanted him for something.” She says.
“Ah, it must be boring without him.” You say. You notice Twilight’s shoulders drop slightly. She sighs and looks down.
“Yes and no, I have my books to read when he’s away, but at the same time I have nopony to talk to.” She says, a sad tone besetting her voice.
“What about your other friends?” You ask.
“They’re always too busy, I think they might be avoiding me.” She says, still staring at her mug.
“I’m sure they aren’t avoiding you. I know for a fact Applejack is busy on the farm, I help her out there every once in awhile, and she’s always working, from sunrise to sunset.” You say, trying to reassure her.
“You’re right; I’m looking at this wrong.” She says.
“There ya go. Now, I must be going. It’s getting rather late.” You say, you take the final sip of your hot chocolate and stand up. You pick up your scarf and wrap it around your neck.
“Alright, have a good one.” Twilight says.
“Thanks for letting me look at the book, it was interesting.” You say.
“It’s no problem; you’re welcome back at any time to look at it.” Twilight offers.
“Alright, I might take you up on that offer.” You say. You turn and head down the stairs. You trot towards the door and pull it open.
“When will I see you again?” You hear a nervous voice ask. You’re a little shocked at the question.
“Pardon?” You ask as you turn and face the mare. Her face was beet red.
“Oh, never mind. It was a stupid question.” She stammers.
“Okay, well goodnight Miss Sparkle.” You say before leaving the library.
You had spent longer than you thought in the library. The sun was setting now. The snow an orange hue, it was reflecting the color of the snow. It was even more entrancing now than before. The snow was always interesting to you, but even more so when the sun was setting.
On your way home you cut through the park. The icicles looked like little lanterns the way they glowed with the setting sun. A light breeze was blowing past you, causing the trees to rattle. The icicles sounded like wind chimes. It was very serene.
As you trotted through the snow you fell into your thoughts again. You were thinking about Twilight. Why would she ask to see me again, why was she being so nice to me? Thoughts plagued your mind; over and over again you asked yourself the same questions.
Eventually you made it home. Your house was dark and cold. You push the door open and walk through. You look around the dark house. You feel around the wall to your right for a small switch, you find it and flip it. A slight humming sound could be heard as the lights in the house came on. You were lucky to get one of the houses with electricity running to it.
As you walk through your house you can hear metallic ticks as the baseboard heaters came on. Slowly but surely your house began heating up. You pace around your living room, questions still floating around your head, you decide to sleep off the questions.
You trot up the stairs to your room. It was spacious; it had a double bed, dresser, desk and two end tables in it. Which was all you really needed. You walk over and lie down on the bed.
It was hard falling asleep, the questions kept you awake, but after a few hours of tossing and turning you finally fell asleep.
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Sounds nice ^^
I'll read it as soon it's longer
Edit:Oh and first^^
8 likes and 0 dislikes... dis gun be gud...
Interesting, can't wait to read more
More of a rainbow fan myself but, more please.
Pretty good. Keep it coming.
Crap, I forgot to thank people in the authors notes.
My bad.
I would like to thank my two beautiful proof readers: Pulse Flyer from iBrony.com and veridianphantom from right here in my home town. You guys are the best.
>Sees "Twilight"
>Sees "Second Person"
FAVORITE FAVORITE FAVORITE.
I need to stop reading these second person fics.
This could work.
Great story bro.
But, I thought of something. The library's bigger on the inside... What else is?
tardiscorset.com/images/TARDISinterior.jpg
This appears to be an interesting premise and has a lot of promise to be a touching romance with a unique protagonist and different premise with Twilight than I've seen before.
I may have missed something crucial but the back story ended up seemingly contradictory to me. You said the protagonist had graduated from school, then three years later left home for Canterlot and as a young "School colt" didn't do well there. Seems like you were still figuring out his age range for traveling around while writing this part.
The conversations with Twilight could have felt a lot more fun and animated with some gestures and descriptors added for flavor. Take this block of vocals for an extreme example:
“So where are you from?” Twilight asks.
“Fillydelphia.” You reply.
“Wow, you’re a long way from home.” She says.
“Yeah, I haven’t been back in three years.” You say, a darker tone taking your voice.
“Why’d you leave?” She asks, prodding you for information.
“Family reasons.” You say coldly.
“Okay, I won’t push.” She says.
A couple times you mention a tone shift, but there's no mention of facial expressions or physical movement. Did the corners of his eyes tighten? Did his grip on the hot chocolate become stressed? Did Twilight's smile falter a bit? Did Twilight fiddle with her mug a little while asking out of curiosity? Did his or her tail flick with agitation or anxiety? What about the ears? Not saying to go crazy, just to add something once in awhile to paint a picture to engage the imagination.
Twilights List by kits
Mood Wings by Tchernobog
Are both great stories that use physical and facial expressions to convey meaning outside of words and engage the reader with imagery. Check them out for a good read and to see how much flavor can be added to a story when these techniques are used properly.
Anywho, I think the story has the potential to be really sweet which is why I was suggesting looking at this stuff. Since I'm enthusiastic about it I mean. I'm looking forward to what comes next in this wintery romance~
1542126
It's now official. Twilight is a timelord and her TARDIS is the library.
That's now canon.
1542126 There's also the Wardrobe in the spare room. ;)
1545163 she's on her second regeneration. Her first was pink and white and had five stars as a cutie mark
Far, far too wordy. You say one thing or interaction using five too many sentences and the setting of the environment in the beginning was choppy.
Good luck with the fiction, it seems to be doing well, perhaps its better in later chapters but I, in my personnel opinion, prefer well flowing fictions. Best wishes.
Ahh, hooves, how do you work?
4366018 Strong Force.
4366018 Magic
Is it just me, or does Twilight seem a bit off...?