It's Time to...
The train that was my transportation pulled into the station in Appleloosa on schedule. We had made the trip there without incident, which I was grateful for. I was half expecting those weird little cotton candy clouds at some point. Then again, that was a one-off in the show that everyone just thought was S.O.P. for Discord. If he did that again, I honestly expect them to be made out of marshmallows and rain hot sauce instead.
Unfortunately, being the size that I am, there was no way for me to get on the train without being a bother to the passengers and staff. As such, I ended up riding on the balcony part of the caboose for the duration of the trip. Of course, because of the inconvenience I hadn’t been charged for riding the train. It was a small compensation that worked out for me since I don’t have any bits to pay for anything. I don’t want to make any currency while I’m here and throw the economy out of whack. Besides, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a close up of the bits that they use to do that anyway.
Despite the fact that I was stuck on the back of the train, I still had spent the time with the girls. Well, I say girls, but by the end of the day yesterday, we had finally managed to remove the spell I had made on them. Too bad it only worked on one pony at a time. The bittersweet moment of the whole thing was that I ended up having to place my hand above their heart in order to make it work.
No, we tried doing it over their heart on their back and it didn’t work. Suffice it to say that the little revelation did not go over well with everyone. Pinkie Pie and Twilight didn’t really care. Fluttershy was apprehensive, but surprisingly got over it quickly. Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity took it in a less than happy tone. After some long negotiations, there were some agreements and some punishments that were agreed upon to let it commence.
Applejack was the easiest to agree to. I was to help out at Sweet Apple Acres for a week to make up for lost time with the mess I made. Rarity was harder. The problem was that I was violating her modesty. As punishment for doing this, she was allowed to actually slap my face silly until she felt better. She went for about a minute and a half before she relented. Rainbow Dash was, unfortunately, the hardest to persuade. For some reason, she would not relent to any demands we could come up with. She finally caved when she came up with an idea of her own and asked her demand of me privately. It was something very personal and the two of us went into another room for me to deliver on it. To this day, I will not say what happened without being very drunk or tortured horribly. I still cry about it sometimes when I’m alone.
The magic itself worked like a charm. It took quite a bit of magic to perform and I ended up using the magic boosting ability I had used on Pinkie, but instead used it on Twilight. It took over half an hour to perform on each of them and by the end Twilight and I were actually both exhausted. Adding in my newfound endurance made it all the more surprising when after the fourth try I was starting to breathe harder. All in all, the spell worked and we each went back to our respective homes for some rest before the showdown.
Except, of course, for me. I still had no actual home to go to, being dimensionally displaced and all. Considering how tired I was, I still managed a spell to elongate the couch where I was making my temporary quarters. I didn’t really need anything else other than leg room so I was fine with that. At least I was until I realized that there was no pillow. Oh well, beggars can’t be choosers despite the fact that I probably could have conjured one. All in all, it was just bothersome.
What I was truly surprised about was that there was no one around to greet us at the station. I remember Applejack had some family in Appleloosa and I would have thought for certain that they would have greeted us when we got here. Perhaps Applejack didn’t have enough time to let them know we were coming. All the better anyway. From what the girls tell me, we have about forty minutes until the duel and we needed to get there soon anyway.
The trip out of town was pretty somber, especially considering the fact that Pinkie Pie was in the group. She was still hopping the entire way there, but for some reason there was no conversation or off kilter banter or anything the entire way. It was almost like I was in a funeral march. I needed to break up the mood somehow.
I quickly scooped up Pinkie in mid-hop and whispered to her my little plan. After a quick nod, I placed her on my shoulders. Pinkie then, following my instructions, started to fire her Pinkie cannon off into the distance.
“What in the wide world of Equestria are the two of ya doin’?” asked Applejack.
“If we’re right on target, you’ll see when we get there,” I replied.
“Why can’t you tell us now?” asked Rainbow Dash; flying in my way to try and get her point across.
“Don’t wanna,” I said and smirked.
“Hey! That’s not fair!” yelled Rainbow Dash.
“Heh. Where I’m from, life is rarely fair. It’s usually tedious and boring and people complain when they shouldn’t. Life is just a series of events that happen one after the other forever. You only get to see the events that happen in front of you, but so much more happens than just that. It’s the background that makes up the universe, or multiverse I suppose. In the background is where most of the action happens. All of the good and all of the bad happen where you almost never are. Although, you six are more of a cosmic balance to the really bad stuff that happens here. Despite that, your daily lives make up for all the bad you see.”
“You’re a bit of idealist at heart, aren’t you?” said Twilight. “Our days aren’t always peaceful you know.”
“Maybe so, but the majority of your lives are filled with happiness and good times. For humans, it may be like that, but we complain about it sometimes anyway. For me, in particular, the number one enemy to my happiness is boredom. I can get bored very easily. It’s probably because of my ADD, but I still don’t do anything about it.”
“I hear ya,” said Rainbow Dash. “Math can make me pretty bored too. I don’t blame ya for that.”
“Math? What are you talking about?” I asked.
“Well, you said adding makes you bored. That’s a math thing.”
I chuckled a little.
“What’s so funny?”
“That isn’t what I meant. Humans can have a lot of different types of medical problems. There are immune disorders where a body tries to heal itself even though nothing is wrong with it. Humans can develop cancer which is a mutated growth that slowly takes over their bodies. Then, there are mental disorders which can alter ones perceptions or even make the rest of the body react in ways they shouldn’t. I have two from the last category.
“ADD is an acronym for attention deficit disorder. Basically, it’s someone who has a short attention span, is disorganized, procrastinates often, is easily distracted, and possibly forgetful. Pinkie Pie here is almost a textbook case. In addition to that, I have another one called Asperger’s syndrome. That one makes me a bit awkward in social situations, and it makes me a bit obsessive towards a set comfortable routine.”
“So,” Twilight began, “what you’re saying is that humans have progressed so far into medicine that you’ve started finding little things that are wrong with you now?”
“Well, when you have devices that can look at the individual components of blood, you can really delve into a variety of different aspects of how they work and why the body reacts to things the way it does. Like dehydration for example. The human body is composed of seventy percent water. Water, of course, is necessary for all different types of things in the body. It helps regulate body temperature. It helps keep blood flowing. Et cetera.”
“Ya know, I noticed that ya don’t seem tah drink much water at all,” said Applejack.
“That’s because I can’t stand water. It tastes awful.”
“What are you talking about?” asked Rainbow Dash. “It’s water. It doesn’t have any taste to it at all!”
“That’s what everyone keeps telling me!” I said as I threw my hands into the air. “Yet somehow, it manages to taste bad whenever I drink it. About the only time it doesn’t taste bad to me is when it’s so cold that it’s almost frozen. Even then, it’s still iffy to me.”
“I know what you mean darling. There have been many a time in which I find the water in Ponyville to be lacking a certain quality to it. The water in Canterlot is quite divine if I do say so. I can certainly see why you would say such a thing,” said Rarity; finishing with an overdramatic pose.
“I really hope I didn’t just start the bottled water craze in Equestria,” I said with a sigh.
“Bottled water?” asked Rarity. “That sounds odd.”
I didn’t want her to think about it anymore. Therefore I used all my wit in order to change the subject.
“Look,” I said pointing ahead, “a distraction!”
Several of them looked forward while Pinkie chuckled and Twilight facehoofed.
“Seriously?” asked Twilight.
She looked back at me and I continued to point forward. She then turned back around and kept moving along with everyone else. A few minutes later and we arrived at the location I had Pinkie fire her cannon at.
“Ah picnic?” asked Applejack. “Are ya sure yer all there up in yer noggin?”
I shrugged.
“I know I don’t want to fight on an empty stomach.”
“We didn’t eat that long ago partner.”
I looked at my watch. I was surprised at how little I actually stared at it the last few days.
“According to my watch, it is almost lunch time anyway. Lunch would be at noon and it’s less than half an hour until then.”
“Are yah really that interested in lunch?”
“It’ll give me time to think about if I want to change anything strategy-wise I suppose,” I said lamely.
“Uh-huh,” said Applejack, obviously hearing the intent in my words.
“Hey! We’re here!” yelled Pinkie Pie.
We looked forward and the picnic items were all collected and sorted out in front of us. A few baskets and plates were all set up on top of a large blanket. Since it was the fold up type of basket, I couldn’t see what was in them, but I really hope that there was something I could eat. Of course, since it was Pinkie Pie and she wouldn’t be a bad host of anything I had faith that there would be something edible for me in there.
Too bad I never found out. I say that because as soon as we got close to the spot, Discord appeared in a flash along with his prisoners. They were all trapped in two cages standing off to the side of Discord. They were large steel cages with bars on every side as well as the roof. The floor, however, was strangely a faux wood paneling. One held the two princesses and the other held an assortment of guards.
“Princesses!!!” everyone around me yelled.
Both Celestia and Luna turned towards the source of the yelling. They both smiled as they saw everyone but me running towards the cage that held the princesses. I walked over at a more sedate pace while keeping my eye on Discord. He wouldn’t let them out of their cages, but I didn’t see any openings to let them out anyway. I’d have to ask about that later.
“It’s good to see you all unharmed my little ponies,” she said as they arrived in front of the cage. She gave me a look as she said that. I also heard Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie snicker at that as well. I guess the joke wasn’t lost on them despite the tension in the air.
While everyone else was talking with the princesses, I went over to check on the guards. Just because the princesses were there doesn’t mean that the guards weren’t invisible.
“You guys are all unhurt, right? You haven’t been mistreated in any way?”
“No we haven’t,” said an armored unicorn. “Are the princesses alright?”
“I believe so. The Elements are talking to them now. I was more concerned about you all. This can’t be good for your self-esteem.”
I regretted what I said a bit when I saw them hang their heads from what I said.
“Hey, don’t worry about it. It was Discord. The princesses themselves couldn’t handle something like that.”
They looked a little bit better after hearing that.
“Don’t any of you worry about it. I’ll have them free soon enough.”
Having said that, I walked over to the cell holding the princesses. They were still chatting with the girls, as I expected.
“How are the guards doing?” asked Luna.
“They’re doing alright considering the state of things. I’m sure you can understand.”
“We understand. However, they should not feel this way.”
“I feel bad for them. They failed to keep you safe. Despite who it was that did this, it is their responsibility to make sure this doesn’t happen.”
“Discord is more powerful than any of us,” commented Celestia. “They should not be so hard on themselves.”
“Saying it is one thing. Believing it…” I trailed off letting the comment hang in the air. “Anyway, Luna, we haven’t been properly introduced. I am Seth, the Earthling.”
I finished by extending my hand towards her. As I was about to put my hand in between the bars, I hit an invisible barrier which stopped my progress.
“My apologies for not informing you of the barrier sooner. I am Princess Luna, the Princess of the Night,” she finished in a louder voice, but not with her Royal Canterlot Voice.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
“You did not say that when I had appeared in front of you,” Celestia said almost mopingly.
“You showed up in the middle of the night while I was trying to sleep and you read my mind at the same time. I didn’t exactly think about it as you well know. Can your sister use that trick by the way?”
“She knows that ability as well. She does not like to use it just as I do not. It was necessary at the time, however, since I did not know of your intentions. I trust my subjects implicitly. Outsiders are a different matter altogether.”
“I suppose that’s fair. Anyway, has Discord informed you of what is going on here?”
Both Celestia and Luna gave me a glare that I swear was a precursor to Fluttershy’s. It didn’t have that paralytic quality that Fluttershy’s had. It was more of a stare that your parents had when you did something very wrong and were about to punish you.
“Neither of us believes that this chaos duel is a good idea,” said Celestia in a tone that could easily tell me what she thought of my plan.
“But Princess-“ started Twilight.
“I got this Twilight,” I interrupted; my gaze never leaving Celestia’s. “I know you don’t like this. Using chaos to combat chaos doesn’t sound like a good plan. However, I doubt that Discord would give us another chance to seal him with the Elements of Harmony after the last time. He came to us in Ponyville and without the Elements on hand I doubt we could have done anything to him in that situation. He’s a bit aloof, but I think he might have learned not to underestimate the girls when they have the Elements with them. If I hadn’t intervened, I believe that he would have tried something to make sure that they wouldn’t be able to. I have faith in this. You should have faith as well.”
Luna’s gaze didn’t falter any from my words, but Celestia’s gaze did. She didn’t say anything, but I could see that she was thinking about what I had said. I knew my little plan would work. I had no reason to think otherwise. The girls had enough faith in me to let me do this. I hoped that the princess would as well.
Celestia’s glare ended and she let out a large sigh.
“Very well, Seth. Since we do not have any other options at this point I will have faith in your plan; whatever it may be.”
Luna looked like she was about to object, but a look from Celestia and her retort died in her throat.
“Well, I think that I’ve given you lot quite enough time to catch up,” Discord said; interrupting us. “It may be a bit early, but I think we should get this little duel underway.”
I turned back to Discord who, strangely enough, looked like he was crying. It took me a second to understand.
“Let me guess. Tears of boredom, right?”
“Smart boy. Will you please help me dry these tears?”
I shrugged and walked away from the cells towards Discord.
“I would, but I don’t really have anything on me to do so. Plus, I’m not about to lend you my shirt. You’ll probably blow your nose in it and then I definitely wouldn’t want it back.”
I thought about it for a second, and a thought came to mind.
“Actually, I think I would be ok with that.”
As I came within arm’s length of Discord, I pulled off my shirt and handed it to Discord. Underneath my shirt, the coin that the first Discord from my room gave me was now hanging around my neck from a small chain that the girls gave me. I then gave my shirt over to Discord. He took it from my hand and dried the tears from his face. He then promptly blew his nose into it and tossed it back to me. Thankfully, I caught it on a part he didn’t use.
“I suppose you were right. That was a bit predictable for me. Then again, I want to save myself for our little showdown.”
He then snapped his fingers and teleported himself a few hundred feet away from where I was standing.
“So then, shall we get started?”
“I’d like to set up a few things before we get started if you don’t mind, Discord.”
I snapped my fingers and I switched into some new clothing. I was now wearing an orange gi with a blue undershirt. A little part of me thought that it was a bit tacky to be wearing that since I was in no way a good fighter, but I’ve wanted to wear that for a long time. Now would probably be the only time I would get a chance to do so.
“A training gi?” asked Rainbow Dash.
I knew she would know what it was. She actually has martial arts training.
“Yeah, it’s a training gi. It’s the same one that Goku wears almost all the time. He is a great martial artist and a true hero. I was thinking about wearing a blue jacket with a black undershirt and some spandex pants with a contraption on my arm, but I would look terrible in them and nobody would get the reference. I also want to do this.”
I snapped my fingers again and a ways away from where we were standing a stage materialized in a flash. On the stage was a group of ten identical clones of me wearing the same thing. Sitting next to them was a full set of instruments.
“I figured some music would be nice for our little duel. Don’t you think so Discord?”
Discord chuckled a little.
“That sounds lovely.”
I chuckled back.
“Prepare to be disappointed. In more ways than one.”
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did dashie manhandle poor seth
1928272
No comment.
You.
You ended on a cliffhanger.
How dare you.
It's back!
What she do, neuter him?
He could have let them as humans. Just say "If you don't wanna go through the process, then don't. It's not my problem."
And Lyra let him do this?
3618169 Lyra? Hell no. She's still running off in the direction I sent her.
blue jacket with a black undershirt and some spandex pants with a contraption? is that a fallout reference?
5242721 Yugioh I believe....based on the chapter title