Ha! A Colts fan that likes ponies. How original. But thanks to the NFL it's true!
Human in Equestria16,970 stories ·16,819 members
The Writers' Group56,381 stories ·9,290 members
Humans Aren't Bastards211 stories ·4,066 members
The Shameless Self-Promotion Bureau49,211 stories ·5,457 members
Human Magic760 stories ·1,865 members
Stories on Goodreads28,596 stories ·492 members
We all dream of going to fantasy worlds we like one day. Well, that happened to me once. However, not everything was all sunshine and rainbows. What if there's a higher reason? We all like to think there is, but perhaps this time there truly is one.
If you end up with a feeling of why is the main character like this, well, I have a reason for it so don't stop reading because of that.
Comes with a nifty sequel here, and a final volume in progress right here.
Page generated in 0.048 seconds
Total duration
798 users online
1,004,123 hits today, 2,004,447 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Not bad, not bad at all. I'll be watching.
Some notes; interesting premise, with the whole Discord thing, and the coin. It isn't something I've seen before, which is definitely good. One thing you really need to work on though is expanding. This has excellent potential, but if you want it to be really good, add tons of details. The way you have it now seems short and rushed, and I find myself having a hard time picturing what the whole scene looked like.
Other than that, good luck, and have your first fave!
Sounds like a good idea. I'll work on that.
1542488 Cry at the inevitable sweep!
It's strange that almost every single human in Equestria story has Rainbow attacking the human, but I never mind because that is exactly what she would do.
1546449 It's sort of attacking. I'd like to think of it as protecting her friends from a potential threat.I'm twice as big and walking right behind Fluttershy.
1546706 I get that, but sometimes the human in question is surrounded by her friends or even is talking to the princess and she'll be like "Oh no, Celestia is talking calmly with a thing I've never seen before. I think I'll buck it in the face." and the funny thing is that the whole 'see weird creature, buck it' mentality is never really out of character for Rainbow. If anything the most OoC example I ever read was one story where the rest of the main six are there, being perfectly calm, and she attacks because Fluttershy was scared. She's afraid of her own shadow and Dash knows it.
Welp, I was one of your first readers on this story, and my, my, my; you've improved. Improved a lot actually.
Your writing sounds less awkward, you added more details, and the whole thing makes sense. I look forward to seeing where this goes.
1548821 In all seriousness, I came up with this story about five days before the first chapter was published. I have the beginning mapped out and the ending mapped out, but the middle will take some work. I'm usually better than that.
My works on Fanfiction.net are way more thought out.
1548903 I see. Still looking forward to more. //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Octavia2.png
Well, that was pretty damn good. It still needs to be longer, and more details, and more act-
Yeah. You may want to consider going back to edit/rewrite the first chapter or two. You know, to bring them to the level of writing this chapter was on.
This fic deserves more attention. Did you post it to any groups yet?
You have intrigued me...
*Added to my Read-Later list*
FYI, your title is misspelled. You forgot the 'S' in Discord...
1569508 Well, don't I feel silly.
Seth huh? Read Person In Ponyville by Zeta.
Name Of Human - Seth (Codename Ezekiel Tho)
Name Of Pony He First Met - Fluttershy
1577099 That's pretty much where the similarities end seeing as I don't have a desire to kill myself amongst other things.
I see. Still want moar.
This kinda looks like how I would write a HiE story; well, apart from the one I'm writing now. But this is what it would look like if I kept the MC normal. I think one of the best things you've done with this is that it's all realistic. You nailed the character traits on the Mane 6, even if not many details were given.
P.S. I like the reason you gave for Rainbow attacking Seth. That's good. //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Octavia2.png
P.P.S. They're not Mr. and Mrs. Cube, they're Mr. and Mrs. Cake. Might want to change that.
1582274
Got stuck on the cube part of Sugar Cube Corner.
1582281 Facehoof it up buddy; that's what I'm here for.
That was beautiful.
But, I sense a filler chapter in this one. Bring on the chorus of MOARS!
1587058 Might be a bit. I'm typing up a chapter of my other story on FF.net.
1589116 I guess it didn't take as long as I thought.
I really like how the story is unwrapping.
Normally I don't really like the whole human has magic thing, but here it is kinda funny.
A kamehameha LOL
1. Go and edit the first few chapters. Do not write another chapter until doing so. (Do not collect $200.)
2. Go back through this chapter after completing step #1. There were a few errors.
3. Spam ALL the groups!
4. This story need more attention.
5. ?????
6. Profit.
Good chapter. Need moar.
And, last thing, you need to work on making Seth more . . . human. Right now it seems like he knows what to do in any situation, and that's not very human-ly. Other than that, you're good.
1624867 I was all ready to release the next chapter and I see your post beating me to it by three minutes.
1. I'm tweaking that first chapter whenever I can think of something that I think needs to be added. Granted I did a little more after this one. It just feels like I should do something, but I really am not sure. I don't really want to detail it more since I, ICly, don't really care that much at the time. To me, it's just my room and just some forest. I was woken up around 2 a.m. so I'm not really thinking about this much since I'm tired.
2. I did go take a look through this last chapter. Other than missing a word or two, I just worked on some wording in a couple of places. If you see anything still messed up, let me know. I do want to get that worked out correctly.
3. I didn't really see any many groups I wanted to throw this into, but I'll work on it.
4. Agreed. That said, I'm pretty much invisible to most everybody. It's not a quirk I threw into my character; it's the real me.
5. !?!?!?!?!?!
6. Somebody said something about $200?
Lastly, Seth is me and I absolutely hate crowds. Maybe I didn't catch the reactions of the crowds right or something, but that is exactly what happened to me earlier this year with the exception of the fire. I know there wasn't any cheering there. The situations are resolving themselves in the way that they are because they all have predictable behavior patterns with the exception of Pinkie Pie. Then again, if you can predict her behavior, then you deserve a Nobel prize in physics for your study of causality. If I know how they are going to react, then I can always tailor my responses to what is the best response for them. I may be over-thinking the reactions since I have the time, but I believe that this is what they will do. Still, I'm going to try to see if I can make it work better. Criticism is always appreciated since I honestly never get any. Ever.
Edit: I do note now that I don't think I've stuttered once. I might change that.
Hm story is advancing slowly.
Continue.
1634467 Sitting on my desk is list of plot points. Currently, two of them are going to appear in the next chapter. So, while I may be making some of this up on the spot, I do have guidelines to help it out. I also have a photo I'm going to post on the final chapter whenever I finally get there. I hope I keep people's interest long enough to get there.
1634560 meh as long as the story stays good people will keep reading it so don't worry.
......... Dear lord... Keep her away from rule 34!
1641428 I was thinking the same thing. I'm also thinking about all the games like batllefield and such. Oh how I would love to see her react to those.
Also very original to give him chaos magic instead of regular. This opens a lot of doors for your story to take.
I almost wrote up the entire next chapter already. I am on fire right now!
OH GOD WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!!!!!!!!!!!
You created trollestia!
I'm back!
Good chapter, nice hat, BUCKING TROLLESTIA! That was a good one.
he shows her R34 orrr... the pony thread simulators...
Oh dis gunna be good.
Just so you know, I've been promoting your story on my story.
Have you spammed the groups with this story yet? If not, do it. When I did it, it got me about 40 likes. I can't guarantee the same for you, but it's worth a shot.
Ok I am reading this and it says 0 views.
DO I NOT COUNT!!!!!!
I think that this was easily one of your best chapters. Well written, creative, and I love what you did for Pinkie's magic amplification. That really got me.
GODDAMN CLIFFHANGER!
Yep. The feces hit the Aperture Science Mechanical Rotating Air Pusher. Couple things.
Said "magic" too many times.
Needs a comma after theater, and you can remove the whole second sentence.
Did you watch the first two episodes season one while you wrote this? That question was completely rhetorical, I already know the answer.
What was with the whole "MY EYES!!!" thing? Did the lights go out? Was there a blinding flash of light? The lack of information made me have to go back and re-read a few times so I could understand what you meant.
*Other than those small things, good work! Looking forward to the conclusion!
*This is my author sense tingling; it's telling me that this story is nearing completion.*
1748879 Fixed and snipped those instances. I'll admit that I cheated a little, but all of that description was from episode one and not both one and two.
Also, ICly I couldn't see anything either since Pinkie Pie was on my face. I can't exactly describe something that I can't see. Although, if you remember what happened the first time a certain Twilight Sparkle used magic on the coin, then you can tell what happened. It was also recreated at the end for simplicities sake.
Also, I'd say more likely it's the halfway point. No guarantees though, since wording and chapter breaks will be my main concern.
Oh wait, I dropped a hint didn't I?
*puts on shades*
You saw nothing!
*flashes neuralyser*
1748939 Halfway, you say? This news is pleasing to my ear holes.
I thought it was Pinkie Pie that was saying, "MY EYES!!!"
How the hell do you write this much? I can barely get out a new chapter every few weeks or so! *TOTALLY NOT SELF-PROMOTION, OR EGGING YOU ON TO READ MY STORY.*
Hm I really wonder what that coin is for and what it will do when it has amassed all of the mane 6 cutie marks.
1748988 I get time to write between job searches. Although, this is probably the most attention I think I've given any story I've written. It just seems to come naturally with this one. I've also already read Ungrounded. Well, I haven't read chapter 5, but yes I've read it. It is pretty good. I've already liked it.
1749691 Thanks, and I do admire the amount of attention you've given this story. I don't have that kind of dedication in my life, much less to a side-project like this. I'm too busy most of the time, even if I want to do more writing.
Good chapter. i wanted to say more but tought this was enough.
Omg Trollestia strikes again
And the plot thickens. I can't wait to see the chaos duel between discord and seth.
1786737 Just so you know, looking at it right now, it might be anticlimactic. I have the ending generalized, but it still needs fleshing out thanks to the extra items I've written.
1786757 Please make the duel between discord and seth at least a bit entertaining.
C'mon a CHAOS MAGIC DUEL!!!!!!!!
You don't get those that often.
1786785 As of right now, I have one definite thing I'm going to use chaos magic for. Of course, I think I need to make things silly after that. It's Discord. He doesn't like violence.
1786790 I don't care if it's silly or epic.
Just make it 20% cooler
1786797 I'll see what I can do.
Issue spotted! ERMAGHERD TINGS DERNT ADD ERP!
Celestia said that she sent a letter to Spike to deliver to Twilight. Why doesn't she just tell Seth to tell Twilight now instead of waiting for Spike to arrive in Ponyville?
1786797 I second your motion.