• Published 31st Oct 2012
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The Crusader Box - CosmicAfro

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The box

“This is Red Leader standing by, over.”

Ksssh.

“Red Leader this is Base Tower, you are clear for takeoff.”

Ksssh.

“Roger Roger.”

Ksssh.

“This is Rainbow Leader standing by, over.”

Ksssh.

“Rainbow Leader this is Base Tower, you are clear for takeoff.”

Ksssh.

“Roger Roger.”

The two planes took off into the afternoon sky, facing the clear afternoon with a ready ascension.

Whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiir.

“I’ll never get tired of this sky, especially today.”

Ksssh.

“Keep your focus Rainbow Leader.”

Ksssh.

“Base Tower to Red and Rainbow Leader, we’ve got some unidentified blips on our radar here, would you mind checking it out? They’re on your ten o’clock.”

“This is Rainbow Leader reporting no signs of life on my ten.”

Ksssh.

“This is Red Leader, confirming.”

Ksssh.

“You mean, neither of you see them?”

“Roger.”

Ksssh.

“Roger.”

Ksssh.

“They must be jamming your vision with a magic force field. You’ll need to-”

Wooo wooo wooo wooo.

“Red Leader to Base Tower, what was that noise?”

“Base Tower to both Rainbow and Red Leader, you have a large mass of bogeys incoming on all fronts. It’s a trap!”

“We don’t see ‘em!”

Ksssh.

“Wait! I think I see them. Permission to use primary missiles?”

Ksssh.

“Permission granted.”

Fwooooooo. Booom. Hissssssss.

“Rainbow Leader to Base Tower! I have exposed the visual force field of-”

Vrooom. Whiiiiiiir...

“-of over ten thousand Changelings!”

“Sweet Celestia in a royal court! That’s a lotta changelings!”

Ksssh.

“We’ve gotta peel out! There’s too many!”

“No Red Leader, don’t do it! You’re the only ones in between them and Ponyville!”

“So do you mean?”

“Base Tower to Red and Rainbow Leader, you have permission to fire the F.R.I.E.N.D.S.H.I.P. missiles.”

“ Those are experimental! Sweet- I mean, Base Tower, are you mad!?”

Ksssh.

“Base Tower to Scoo- Rainbow Leader, you have no choice!”

“All right! Readyin’ missiles!”

“Rainbow Leader to Red Leader, do not fire the missiles. I repeat, do not fire the missiles. Concentrated Harmony with the Lo and Ve compounds could cause dangerous explosions!”

“I thought you liked explosions?”

“Not when I’m in them!”

“Rainbow and Red Leader, stop your arguing and fire the missiles. Do you want to let your friends and family down? The world could be at stake!”

“Base Tower is Right, Rainbow Leader, we gotta do this. No matter what, we’re still a team.”

Silence on the air.

“You’re right. This is Rainbow Leader, readying missiles.”

Ksssh.

“This is Red Leader, readyin’ missiles.”

Ksssh.

“This is Base Tower, you may fire when ready.”

“Firin’ missiles!”

“Firing missles!”

Voom. Verrrrrrrooooooooooooooooooooom. Ka-boom! Boom! Bam! Boom boom! BLAMMO! Boom boom BOOM!

“Direct hit! They’re falling like flies to a bug lantern. Yeeeee haaaaw!”

Ksssh.

“Good work Red Leader. Rainbow Leader?”

Ksssh.

“We’re as good as gold, Base Tower.”

“Base Tower to Red and Rainbow Leader, you-“

Knock. Knock. Knock.

__

The three fillies popped their heads out of the large box, each with a confused face. “Uh, can we help you?”

“Well, I was going to ask if I could have my box back,” Twilight began, “but now I’m more concerned about you girls.”

“Whadd’ya mean, Twi? We were just playin’ in the hot air balloon box you don’t use. Spike said it was fine.”

“Yes I suppose it’s fine for today, but how were you making those noises? The airplanes zooming, the big booms, and the static after every transmission.” She turned her head to Sweetie Belle. “Is it your magic, Sweetie Belle?”

“No, I was in the tower the entire time. Besides, even if I could, I wouldn’t need to.”

Raising an eyebrow, Twilight peered inside. Much to the chagrin of her interest, it was completely barren except for the crusaders inside and three paper airplanes lying on the floor. “Hmm.”

“So, can we get back to our game now?”

“Sure…” she said while walking backwards into the tree house.

__

“Hear ya’ll, hear ya’ll, the Great Princess Applebloom is now in the court.”

The trumpets blared.

“Oh great and wise Princess Applebloom, what would you have us servants do?”

The Great Princess Applebloom held a hoof to her chin. “I demand one hundred thousand million apples. With Chocolate. And strawberries.”

“Of course, my princess. A wise choice, my princess.”

“We will be back soon, my princess.”

“Milady, Princess Belle and the Awesomest Princess Scootaloo are at the door. What shall I do?”

“Have them enter, if ya’ll would be so kind.”

The door creaked open.

“Hello Princesses. How do ye fare today?“

“Why Princess Applebloom, you look as ravishing as ever. Why, I do declare your gown to be most decorative.”

“Why thank you Princess Belle. Oh, Awesomest Princess Scootaloo, where is your dress for tonight’s Grand Gallopin’ Gala?”

“Eh, it’s hard to fly with Rainbow Dash and the Wonderbolts while in some fancy schamcy dress for the show tonight, so I decided to not come in one.”

“A princess without her royal attire? That’s simply unheard of.”

“Princess Celestia only wears golden boots and a crown, why is it so-”

“Uh, Scootaloo, Princess Celestia isn’t alive.”

“Oh, right. Sorry. Erhm, uhh... I’m setting a new tradition?”

“You always were the trend starter Awesomest Princess Scootaloo.”

Knock. Knock. Knock.

__

Once again, they lifted the flaps on top of the box and peered outside. “Yes, Twilight?”

“What do you mean Princess Celestia isn’t alive!? She’s up in Canterlot Castle right now!” She borderline ranted, somehow balancing herself on two legs while pointing at her highness’s location.

“Were you... spyin’ on us, Twi’?”

Immediately, she went back to four legs and flipped her hair with a grin. “Of course not, I was just reading a book by the window and I overheard you say that and-”

“I can see some fog on the glass.” Scootaloo mentioned with minor hesitance.

“Well, nevermind." She waved a hoof back and forth for a moment.

“I was actually wondering if Spike,” she lit her horn and forcefully pulled her assistant out of the tree, “could join you girls. I don’t want him inside all day.”

The girls looked at each other for a moment and then back at the puzzling unicorn. “So you want him inside of a box instead?”

“I meant, erm, alone!”

Spike, just as confused as the crusaders were, looked up at Twilight. “Uh, I guess it’s better than shelving books all day.”

“Sure yah can! Hop on in Spike! There’s plenty ah room.”

“Yeah! Imagine what we can do with a dragon!”

The librarian put her mouth close to the dragon’s ear and covered it with a hoof. “Take notes.”

“Sure, ok,” he said, taking no effort to hide her ambitions. With a big leap, he hopped on in, closing the flaps as he went.

__

Roooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar!

“Wizard Belle! We need the antifire shield up! We gotta save the civilians from the dragon’s fire!”

“Coming right up! Alaka Whoosh!”

Whooosh!

Fwoooosh.

“Ha ha! Your flames will never cross that field!”

“Mwa ha ha! You forgot, I also have super breath!”

“Oh no! Not super breath!” All three fillies screamed, “Ahhhhhh!”

“Wait, we can use the Elements of Harmony to stop him!”

“What!? You have the Elements!? Impossible! I stole those from Celestia years ago!”

“Yeah, but the Elements are more than objects! They’re like ultimate power or somethin’! Its magic lives inside all of us! Super Knight Crusaders! Assemble!”

Whooosh! Cling, clank! Cling!Whooom!

“Ultimate Cutie mark Crusader Dragon Slaying Robot of Ultimate Awesomeness, Yay!”

That’s not the latest model with the laser cannon, is it!?

“Eeyup!”

No matter! I’ll still defeat you fillies with one blow!

Roooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooar.

Eeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyah!

Whoom!

Viiiiir.

Bang!

Boom. Boom!

Boosh!

Ding. Smack!

Ping Pong!

“We almost got him! Keep going!”

Fwooosh! Boom.

Iiiirrrrrrrrrk. Crash!

Ting! Ting! Smack!

Whap!

Boink!
How do you like this noogie!?”

“How do you like our rocket boots!?”

“Rocket boots? Wh-“

Whooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom!

BANG!

Crash!Rumble Rumble.

SMACK!

Tiiiiimbeeeeeer!Crackle crackle…

Thump.

You girls truly are the Elements of Harmony.

Maybe next time you won’t attack Ponyville you silly dragon.”

No, I have learned from my ways. Thank you for showing me the errors of Disharmony. As part of my thanks, I’m giving free gems to everyone!

“YAY!”

__

“Phew!” Scootaloo cheered as she flittered out of the box, “That was a good run girls.”

“Yeah!” Sweetie Belle agreed as she jumped out next, “Who knew Spike would make such a great dragon!?”

“Uhh, Sweetie Belle? He is a dragon.” Applebloom rolled her eyes as she hopped out.

“I know, but he was a lot better than Scootaloo when she was the dragon.”

“What can I say, I’m a natural.” Spike rubbed a fist against his chest and then blew on it while a smug grin adorned his face.

“So, wanna come help us tomorrow? I’m thinking robots.”

“Sounds good to me.”

Twilight opened the door and walked out. “Hey Spike, how was… uh, the box?” She raised her eyebrows in unison as if suggesting something.

“It just might have been the most amazing thing ever.”

“So, do you have anything for me?”

“Uhm, no?”

Furrowing her brow, she took a deep breath. “You were in there for four hours… and you didn’t take any notes!?”

“Nope.”

“Spike,” she deadpanned. “Get in the tree.”

“Uhm.”

“Get. In. The Tree.”

“Bye Spike,” Each of the girls said as they walked off.

As they headed home, each was whispering to each other, likely about Spike and the nut case he was living with. As they both walked inside, Twilight kept her head lowered with her frustrated face. She shut the door behind her with a back hoof and then took yet another sigh. “I don’t get it, Spike.”

“What?” he asked, turning around.

“I don’t get it! I went through every book in the library and there was nothing about boxes and magic. Nothing! I stood by that window for half an hour hearing all those fighting noises but the box didn’t glow, vibrate, shake… it didn’t even move!” She grabbed his face and pulled him close. “What did you do to make it work?”

“Twilight, it’s just a box.”

Her eye twitched. “Fine, I see how it is.” She lightly pushed her assistant away and made her way back to the door. “The unicorn with a magic talent can’t know something about magic, is that it? Well! Now that there’s no one in the box, I’ll just have to find out for myself!”

“But, it’s just a-”

Slam.

“...box.”