• Published 27th Oct 2012
  • 1,676 Views, 34 Comments

Weekend at Celestia's - Stratocaster



A short comedy involving two mares and an unconcious princess

  • ...
4
 34
 1,676

Spikey Wikey and the Pink Menace

Chapter 4: Spikey Wikey and the Pink Menace

“…Twilight…what’s going on?”
Spike stood in the library staring at his roommate with suspicion. Twilight and Rainbow stood next to the still unconscious body of Princess Celestia shaking in their knees. With a clearing of her throat, Twilight spoke.
“Uh, Spike, I know what you’re thinking.” She said nervously. “But this isn’t what it looks like. Um, this is actually just a papier-mâché model of Princess Celestia.”
“Heh heh, yeah,” added Rainbow. “We got it before leaving Canterlot. I wouldn’t pay much attention to it.”
“Papier-mâché, huh?” said Spike. “So then you wouldn’t mind if I breathed a little on it?” he then prepared to breath a puff of fire on the tip of the Princess’s hoof.
“NO!!!” blurted Rainbow.
“Aha! I knew it! You did something bad to Princess Celestia.”
“Oh Spike, please don’t tell anypony!” pleaded Twilight. “We’ll get in so much trouble.”
“Twilight, what happened anyway?” asked Spike.
“I was going to show off my new magic camera to the Princess. But when I took a picture of her, the flash was bright enough to knock her out unconscious. And now she has an important meeting tomorrow and we have to make it look like she’s awake.”
“That’s crazy, Twi. I’d expect that kind of idea from Rainbow Dash.”
“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?!” shot Rainbow.
“Look, Spike,” continued Twilight. “It’s imperative that nopony knows about this.”
“…Im…per…ra-”
“Oh you know what I’m talking about! Just promise me you won’t tell a soul. We already had to keep up the illusion for Cadence and Rarity. We don’t know how long the Princess will be out, but we have to keep this up at least for her meeting. Please don’t tell?”
“No can do, Twilight.” Spike said flatly. “I’ve covered for you plenty of times before. But hiding a half-dead princess? That’s a whole new level. Besides, if there’s one thing I learned from Applejack, it’s honesty. It’s time you confessed what you did and get some help.”
Twilight breathed a sigh of defeat. She was a bit surprised at her little assistant’s words of wisdom. “Spike, you’re right. I don’t know what came over me. I should have just told somepony and come clean. What would I do without you?”
“Don’t beat yourself up, Twi,” smiled Spike. “You probably won’t even get in trouble. It was an honest mistake. Now I think I’ll go pay Rarity a visit to help straighten out this mess.” He then proceeded toward the front door spraying breath freshener in his mouth. But he stopped in his tracks when he bumped into Rainbow who was blocking the door.
“You’re not going anywhere, half-pint!” she sneered.
Spike gulped intimidated. Then, Rainbow swept him up and flew speedily into a nearby closet with a slam of the door. Twilight heard muffled rummaging and yelling from within the closet with a look of shock. The noise stopped as the door swung open and Rainbow hopped out leaving a tied up and gagged Spike lying inside. The little dragon yelled muffled pleas for help as she shut the door with a kick of her back leg.
“Rainbow! What the hay do you think you’re doing?!” yelled Twilight.
“There’s no way we’re letting anypony know, Twilight, and that goes for dragons too.” Rainbow replied. “When the Princess wakes up, nopony will believe Spike, because nothing happened. Got it? Nothing…happened!”
“Rainbow, this is insane and highly unethical. We have to-”
“Two words, Twi: Princess…Luna!”
Twilight froze as she envisioned her possible punishment. She imagined Princess Luna banishing her and Rainbow to the moon forever.
“Alright, fine!” she said after snapping back. “But we have to keep the body here at my house until tomorrow. We can’t risk letting anypony find out that we knocked out the high ruler of Equestria.”
“Knocked what out of Equestria?”
“Dah!” Twilight jumped as a voice came from behind her. She turned around to see that none other than Pinkie Pie had let herself in.
“Hiya, Twilight, Rainbow Dash, what’s new?” greeted Pinkie in front of the doorway.
Twilight stood with her mouth gaping too scared to say anything. Then, before she could, Rainbow embraced the pink earth pony in a tight hug and turned her in the opposite direction.
“Pinkie Pie, my favorite party pony, it is so good to see you!” said Rainbow in mock enthusiasm. She then waved discretely toward Twilight and pointed at the Princess.
Twilight took the hint and began to move the body.
“Wow, Rainbow, you seem awfully cheery today.” Pinkie said.
“I’m just happy to see one of my closest friends.” Rainbow replied, exaggerating. “Come on; give me a big ol’ hug!”
With that, Pinkie wrapped her hooves around Rainbow in a suffocating hug, making the pegasus grunt in pain. Meanwhile, Twilight was vigorously pushing the Princess out of plain sight.
“No wait, keep hugging.” Rainbow said trying to keep Pinkie’s view diverted. “It has to be ten seconds for a real hug.”
“Oh yeah, I told you that.” Pinkie replied and continued squeezing Rainbow’s innards.
With all her might, Twilight slid the heavy body behind a couch in the corner and gave Rainbow an all clear sign. Rainbow broke away from the chummy earth pony.
“Thanks, I needed that.” She said as she tried to regain whatever breath she had squeezed out of her.
“So Pinkie, what brings you here?” asked Twilight with a smile.
“I was just going to return a book I checked out: Authentic Dessert Recipes of Roam.” Pinkie answered. “Thanks, for lending it to me, Twilight. Now my cannolis are better and sweeter than ever!” She handed a sizable cookbook with dreamy illustrations of Roam on the cover to Twilight.
“It’s my pleasure, Pinkie,” replied Twilight. “I’ll just get a pen so I can write your time in the checkout card.” Twilight’s horn glowed as she prepared to remove a pen from her saddlebag on a nearby table. But in levitating the pen, she dropped a familiar blocky device from the bag which caught Pinkie’s eye.
“Ooh, is that a camera?” she asked with glee.
Twilight froze. “Oh, uh, yes it is.”
Without another word, Pinkie hopped over and picked the camera up off the floor. “I love cameras! You should see how many photos I’ve taken.”
“Pinkie, put that down!” snapped Twilight. “It’s very dangerous.”
“Oh please, Twilight, what harm could a camera do?”
With an enormous toothy smile, Pinkie pointed the camera at her face. Little did any of the three ponies know that Princess Celestia was beginning to stir awake.
“…Hm…what…what happened?” muttered the Princess as she poked her head out from behind the couch. “Where am I? What’s going on?”
“CHEESE!”
Twilight and Rainbow both shielded their eyes as Pinkie pressed the button on the camera, setting off another blinding flash. Celestia’s eyes receded and she once again passed out.
“Pinkie!” Twilight grabbed her ecstatic friend and inspected her face. “Are you okay?! How are you feeling?! Can you see alright?! How many fingers am I holding up?!”
“What’s a finger?” asked Pinkie with her usual friendly smile.
“That’s strange,” said Twilight. “You don’t seem to be affected at all by the flash.”
“And look how good the picture came out!” Pinkie immediately held up a photo of her in her gleeful grin.
Twilight scratched her head staring at her logic defying friend. Just then, they all heard a banging coming from the closet door.
“Hey, what do you got in the closet, Twilight?” asked Pinkie.
“Oh, uh, that’s just where I keep all my magic, uh, walking books.” She lied. “Yup, it sounds like one of them is just trying to escape.”
A panicked mumbling came from the door.
“Um, they also talk.” Twilight added. “Those books sure do cause a lot of fuss.”
“Tell me about it.” Pinkie said. “Zecora has a bunch of those living books, and one of them bit me once. Well, thanks again, Twilight, I’ll just be heading off.”
“Alright. Bye, Pinkie!”
Before walking out, Pinkie grabbed Rainbow in another lung crushing hug. “See you later, my favorite daredevil pony!”
“See you later, Pinkie.” Rainbow wheezed.
Pinkie Pie finally exited the library leaving Rainbow grasping her stomach.
“Ugh, I think she rearranged some of my organs!” she grunted. “You see, that’s why I’m not a fan of hugs.”
“Wait a minute, that’s it!” Twilight perked up.
“What’s it?”
“Zecora! She can help us! I bet she has some kind of remedy to wake Princess Celestia back up. I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before!”
“Are you sure she can help?”
“Positive; Zecora has something for everything. Plus, we won’t have to worry about keeping up the illusion for the griffons.”
“You know, that’s not a bad idea. Zecora can definitely straighten this out. Let’s go over to her hut now.”
“Right, help me get the body. Ugh, I really do not like saying that.”
Twilight walked behind the couch. To her surprise, she saw Owlowiscious tugging at a lock of the Princess’s mane with his beak.
“Ah! Owlowiscious, no! Get away!”
“Hoot! Hoot!”
“Get out of here! No! Bad bird!”
The spunky little owl fluttered away from Twilight’s scolding.
“We better head over to the Everfree Forest right away.” Rainbow told her. “Before the Princess starts attracting vultures.” She then leaned a chair against the closet door and proceeded to exit the library with her friend.