• Published 27th Oct 2012
  • 1,676 Views, 34 Comments

Weekend at Celestia's - Stratocaster



A short comedy involving two mares and an unconcious princess

  • ...
4
 34
 1,676

Daylight Savings

Chapter 6: Daylight Savings

“For the last time, Big Mac, toilets do flush counterclockwise in southern Equestria.”
“Nope.”
“Ugh, stubborn.”
Applejack and Big Macintosh walked down to the barn outside their farmhouse. Granny Smith had just woken them both up early to begin work on some new seed beds out by the apple tree fields. They walked together to gather up Big Mac’s plow and a few seed bags and set out to start the daily grind. As Big Mac opened the barn door, Applejack gasped.
“What in tarnation?!” she exclaimed.
Before them in the barn were Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash lying together asleep on a pile of hay. Twilight seemed to be hugging Rainbow who was mumbling in her sleep.
“Mm, oh Soarin’, ravish me in your big strong hooves.”
Applejack stepped over to the sleeping ponies and cleared her throat.
“Ahem, just what the hay is goin’ on here?!”
“No pun intended.” Big Mac muttered.
They both shot their eyes open and glanced at each other.
“Ah! Twilight get off of me!” yelled Rainbow as she scrambled to her hooves.
Twilight realized her sleeping position and backed away. “Ah, sorry!”
“Do you girls mind tellin’ me what you were doin’ in here?” asked Applejack.
“Applejack!” started Twilight. “Uh, Rainbow and I were just, uh, camping!”
“Campin’?” repeated Applejack. “In our barn?”
“Uh, well, we were camping outside,” added Rainbow. “But, um, we saw an Ursa Major so we ran in here to hide. Heh heh, I guess we ended up sleeping here.”
“Well that’s a might odd to be campin’ outside our farm.” Applejack said. “But Ah’ve seen stranger things. If you girls don’t mind, Big Mac and Ah have to get to work.”
“Yup.”
“No problem, AJ,” replied Twilight. “We’ll get out of your mane.”
Applejack then walked over to lift a large burlap sack of apple seeds. She seemed to be struggling as she barely managed to lift the heavy bag off the floor with her mouth. Twilight noticed her straining and joined next to her.
“Hey, why don’t I help you carry these seeds, Applejack?” she asked.
“That’s mighty kind of ya, Twilight.” Applejack smiled. “But Ah can manage it. Ah’ll just put them on our wagon. Now where is that darn thing?” She scanned the back of the barn. “Aha, Ah see it.” She headed toward the wagon poking out from behind the hay pile where Twilight and Rainbow were sleeping.
“Wait! Don’t go back there!” shouted Rainbow as she blocked Applejack’s path.
“And why shouldn’t Ah?” inquired the farm mare.
“Uh, you see,” Rainbow began to sweat. “The Ursa Major chased us in here and, uh, before it left, it destroyed your wagon.”
“Not a problem,” retorted Applejack. “Big Mac can just fix it right up.”
“Uh, well, I still wouldn’t go near it.”
“Why not?”
“The Ursa Major…dropped in the wagon.”
“Dropped? What do you…oh! Ah, that’s just plum nasty! You mean to tell me that you hid from an Ursa Major in our barn as it defecated in the wagon, and neither of ya came to tell us?”
“Um, we were really tired?” Twilight gave a nervous smile.
Applejack sighed. “Well, at least the two of you are safe, Ah guess. Alright, Twilight, you can help me with the seeds. We just have to bring them to the field entrance. Go get yer plow, big brother; we’ll meet over there.”
Twilight helped Applejack lift a bag and placed it over both their backs. The two walked out of the barn leaving Big Macintosh with Rainbow. The bulky earth stallion smiled awkwardly at Rainbow, who responded the same way.
“So, uh, how’s it going, Big Mac?” asked Rainbow making small talk.
“Fine. And you?” He answered simply.
“Good, good, everything’s good.” She nodded rapidly.
The two stood with a dry silence hanging between them.
“Well, Ah guess Ah should get my plow.” Big Mac broke the silence.
“Uh, okay then.”
The draftpony proceeded to the back of the barn as Rainbow darted her eyes and tapped her hoof in thought. Then, she heard him speak.
“Hey, this wagon’s not broken.” Big Mac called.
Rainbow flinched and leaped in front of him.
“Uh, I wouldn’t look in there, big guy!” she struggled to keep her cool.
“But Ah don’t smell any Ursa Major droppins’ either.” He said discerningly and stepped past her to the wagon. He curiously eyed the tarp on top and, to Rainbow’s shock, he turned it over. Big Mac gasped.
“Princess Celestia?!” he stuttered.
“Alright, Big Mac, I know this looks bad,” started Rainbow. “But Twilight and I totally got this under control. Just don’t tell anypony about this and everything will be alright.”
Big Mac stared at her with a pause. Then, he narrowed his eyes in suspicion. He knew there were no Ursa Major droppings, but something still didn’t smell right.
“Applejack!” he called as he galloped toward the door. “Applejack, come qu-”
Before he could exit the barn, Rainbow bolted through the air and tackled Big Mac. The impact left the hulking stallion lying in a daze. Then, struggling with all her might, Rainbow lifted him off the ground on her back.
“Sorry, Big Mac,” she said straining. “But loose lips sink ships.”
Slowly but surely, Rainbow flew off with the heavy Big Mac lying on her back. While she was away, Twilight and Applejack returned to the barn to make a second trip of hauling seeds.
“So Twilight, you’re not the least bit worried about Princess Celestia missin’?” asked Applejack curiously.
“Oh, you know the Princess.” Twilight shrugged. “She’s probably on some private business. I’m sure this is just an overreaction.”
“Ah don’t know, Twi, it seems like the Princess might be in some kind of trouble. Ah don’t see why she would forget to raise the sun. It’s already 7:30 and it isn’t up yet.”
“Wait, it’s 7:30?! Oh shoot!”
“What’s wrong, sugar cube?”
“Uh, nothing. It’s just that Rainbow and I need to be somewhere right now. It’s kind of important, you know.”
“Don’t worry about it, Twi, you go on ahead. Ah’ll just get Big Mac to carry the seeds. Thanks for your help, though.”
“Eh, no problem.”
Twilight darted her eyes frantically as she stood there with Applejack. She noticed that Rainbow was nowhere to be seen. Just then, she saw a multicolored streak cross the sky outside a crack in the barn wall. Rainbow landed outside the door and put on a fake smile for AJ.
“Well, uh, I guess we’ll be leaving now.” Twilight said. See you later, AJ.”
“So long, Twilight.” Applejack then turned to try and lift another seed bag with her teeth. As she struggled, Twilight and Rainbow tiphoofed out of the barn after retrieving the wagon with Celestia’s body still inside.
“Ugh, this is gettin’ nowhere.” Applejack said oblivious. “Big Mac, get in here and give me a hoof! …Big Mac? Where are ya?” She sighed after a long pause. “Unbelievable.” She continued to drag the bag along slowly out of the barn, muttering angrily under her breath.

Twilight and Rainbow sped down the road from Sweet Apple Acres under the strangely dark sky. As they galloped along, pulling the Apples’ wagon behind, they saw a light up ahead. Coming closer, they saw two pegasus stallions standing outside what appeared to be a roadside booth.
“Oh great,” moaned Twilight. “The guards are still blocking Ponyville.”
“Don’t worry,” said Rainbow with a cocky grin. “I still have one more trick up my wing: the Rainbow and Arrow!”
With that, Rainbow stopped and detached herself from the wagon. Twilight noticed her and stopped as well as the pegasus floated upward.
“What are you doing?” she asked as Rainbow ascended without an answer.
Twilight squinted to witness her swirling around a night cloud and quickly descending back dragging the cloud in a string shape behind her. As she approached the ground, she spun in a single small loop tying the stringed cloud in a D shape.
“Alright, Twi, get in the wagon with the Princess.” Rainbow told her.
“What?! Why?”
“Just trust me.”
Hesitantly, Twilight climbed into the rickety wagon with the body. After pushing the wagon in front of the D shaped cloud, Rainbow then got behind and stretched the curved part of the cloud back. Further and further, she pulled the cloud string somehow creating tensile strength. When she finally could not stretch back any further, Rainbow spread out her wings and lifted her hooves off the ground causing the cloud string to slingshot her forward toward the wagon. With perfect timing, she grabbed the bottom of the small cart and began to ascend at an alarming speed. Within seconds, they passed straight over the guard post without raising much suspicion.
“Did you see that?” asked one guard. “I think I just saw a flying wagon pass over us.”
“You want to know what I see?” replied the other. “A pony who’s close to getting fired for hallucinating.”
Hurdling through the air, Twilight’s face was being blown back as she sat in the projectile wagon with Rainbow hanging on for dear life keeping her wings spread out.
“Rainbow! What the hay are you doing?!” she yelled over the wing in her face.
“Look ahead!” responded Rainbow.
Twilight turned forward and saw where they were rocketing towards. Faster than she had ever seen before, Canterlot came closer and closer.
“We’re going to crash right into the city!” she shouted.
“No we’re not! I’ll just change our trajectory a little!”
Carefully, Rainbow tilted her wings steering the flying cart ever so slightly. It wasn’t long before they were now hurdling toward Canterlot Castle at an alarming rate.
“Get down!” yelled Rainbow.
With shock and fear, Twilight did as she was told and hid her face beneath the wagon and braced for impact. Rainbow shut her eyes as they approached one of the tall stained glass windows of the castle. Sure enough, they burst through the glass with a shutter, sending the two ponies spiraling literally off the wagon; they landed hard on the floor and lay in a daze. After a brief moment of dizziness, Twilight opened her eyes and surveyed her surroundings with a moan.
“Ugh, I think I have a hornache.” She mumbled sitting up. She saw Rainbow struggling to her hooves as well.
“At least we made it.” Rainbow said sounding a bit queasy. “But I might have to keep the Rainbow and Arrow to a minimum.”
“Hey, where’s the Princess?”
They both turned to look in awe. On the far side of what turned out to be the throne room, Celestia’s body lied in a tangle, yet surprisingly still unharmed, amongst a pile of wooden rubble; the Apples’ wagon had been completely destroyed. Then, Twilight glanced at the stained glass window they had just crashed through and gasped.
“Rainbow, what have we done?” she whimpered in fear.
“It’s just a broken window, Twilight, no big deal.” Rainbow shrugged.
“No big deal?! Look what we almost crashed through!”
Rainbow looked to where Twilight was pointing with shocked realization. Next to the severely damaged glass was the stained glass window that depicted her, Twilight, and the rest of the Elements of Harmony.
“Oh snap!” gasped Rainbow.
“This has gone far enough, Rainbow. We’ve left too much evidence already. First the suspicious behavior, then Spike finding out, then us stealing the Apples’ property, and now we’ve done noticeable damage to the Princess’s throne room! It’s time to end this.”
“Don’t be crazy, Twi. All we have to do is leave and act none the wiser.”
“We can’t keep up this charade any longer! Spike was right; I should have confessed instead of going through this ridiculous escapade. Rainbow, I don’t know about you, but I’m turning myself in.”
“But what about Princess Luna?”
“I don’t care if she banishes me to the moon! The longer we drag this out, the more the guilt will stick us. It’s time we let everypony know that we knocked out Princess Celestia and hid her body.”
“Thou have done what?!”
“…oh dear.”
Twilight fainted to the floor.