• Published 27th Oct 2012
  • 1,676 Views, 34 Comments

Weekend at Celestia's - Stratocaster

A short comedy involving two mares and an unconcious princess

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No Strings Attached

Chapter 2: No Strings Attached

Before long, Twilight and Rainbow made it out of the castle without raising any suspicion. This was a miraculous feat, as they were carrying the vegetated body of Princess Celestia. The unconscious sun princess had her limp mouth taped open into an odd toothy smile, and her eyes were also taped revealing her shrunken pupils. Using string, Twilight had tied her two right legs to the Princess’s two left legs, and Rainbow did the same vise versa. This way, they were able to make her body walk along with them; it was ingenious, although coordination was becoming a problem.
“Watch it!” exclaimed Rainbow as the Princess leaned forward on her front knees.
“Oops!” Twilight winced apologetically and helped the body back up.
“Twilight, I told you,” urged Rainbow. “We have to walk in tandem if we’re going to make this work; left, right, left, right.”
“This is insane, Rainbow,” moaned Twilight. “Nopony is ever going to fall for this.”
“Just relax; we’ve got everything under control.”
“Yeah right, look at her! Her head’s not even up straight.”
“Hang on.” Rainbow then used her free front hoof to adjust Celestia’s head. She nudged it back so that it was no longer hanging down but dangling backward a bit far.
“Well that’s no better.” Twilight discerned.
“Hey, at least this way, she looks more regal.” Rainbow replied. “Look, let’s just focus on getting her out of Canterlot.”
“You know, I must say, I’m surprised you came up with this plan, Rainbow. The whole leg thing is pretty ingenious.”
Rainbow cocked an eyebrow. “What do you mean you’re surprised?”
“Forget it, let’s keep walking. It’s a miracle nopony has flagged us down yet.”
“Twilight! Aunt Celestia!”
“Oh, pony feathers.”
The two mares stopped in their tracks as none other than Princess Cadence came trotting toward them. The slender pink alicorn greeted with a smile.
“Twilight, what brings you here, lil’ sis-in-law?” she asked warmly.
“Oh, uh, hi Cadence. My friend Rainbow Dash and I were just escorting Princess Celestia.” Twilight answered, quivering nervously. “We were just heading over to Ponyville.”
“I see,” replied Cadence. “Aunt Celestia, you still remember your audience with the Griffon council tomorrow, right?”
Twilight bit her lower lip; she had no clue how to make Celestia respond. But then she noticed Rainbow slide a hoof behind the Princess’s neck and carefully moved her head in a nodding motion.
“Are you okay Auntie?” asked Cadence oblivious. “You don’t really seem like yourself.”
“Uh, Princess Cadence, look!” exclaimed Rainbow pointing forward. “Shining Armor is ogling another mare!”
“What?!” Cadence turned around quick in surprise.
In one fell swoop, Rainbow pulled out her dark sunglasses and placed them over Celestia’s eyes, in the hopes that it would make her seem less conspicuous. Cadence turned back confused.
“Sorry,” shrugged Rainbow. “It was somepony else.”
“I’d like to stay and chat, Cadence,” said Twilight. “But we’re kind of in a hurry to get to Ponyville right now.”
“I understand; I won’t keep you.” Cadence replied. “Just make sure you visit me and your brother some time soon. See you, Twilight! Nice shades, Auntie.”
Twilight waved to her old foalsitter as she walked off. She breathed a sigh of relief and looked to Rainbow.
“That was a close one.” She said. “Thanks for that bit about my brother.”
“No problem, I’ve handled this kind of thing before.”
“You have?”
“…Well no, but I did get part of the whole idea from a Daring Do book.”
“Oh yeah, Volume 23: Daring Do and the Lifeless Corpse. Not one of the best ones.”
“Alright, if we can convince Princess Cadence that Celestia’s awake, then we shouldn’t have much of problem getting her to Ponyville.”
“I hope you’re right.”
It was an awkward walk through the streets of Canterlot. It wasn’t uncommon to see Celestia out and about in the city, but of course, passing citizens would wave and bow in respect. Rainbow waved her hoof making Celestia do the same in response. A few shopkeepers tried to flag the trio down offering various items of interest; but Rainbow would turn Celestia’s head from side to side. As Twilight and Rainbow proceeded toward the Canterlot train station, more and more ponies were beginning to crowd the streets.
“This isn’t going to work, Rainbow.” Twilight said. “We can’t this charade up much longer. And if we go on that train, somepony is bound to get suspicious.”
“Then what do you suppose we do?” asked Rainbow.
“I’m afraid our best solution will be to fly back to Ponyville.”
“As if! It’s one thing to lug you around in the air, but this is a whole new thing. I can’t carry a full grown alicorn; she’s already heavy enough.”
“Don’t worry; I’ll use levitation on her. You can just carry me.”
“I don’t know, Twi; that seems awfully risky.”
“Hey, this whole trick was your idea. Now do you want to get away with this, or do you want us to be exposed as criminals on a train?”
“Wow, you’ve really gotten pretty bad-flank all of sudden, Twilight.”
“My teacher is a vegetable; I don’t have time to be polite.”
After avoiding more publicity, Twilight and Rainbow made their way to peaceful meadow that stretched to the edge of the city. The two looked over the edge at the base of the mountain way down below; a whistling wind swirled by, brushing their manes. They removed the tape and the strings on their legs and the Princess’s body fell over limp. Twilight took a deep breath.
“Okay, you ready?” she asked.
Rainbow responded by taking her shades off Celestia and putting them on with a smirk.
“Always ready to soar!” she boasted.
The cyan pegasus then hovered above the ground. Twilight hung onto her shoulders and looked back at the Princess. She charged the magic within her horn and concentrated hard as she lifted her mentor off the ground in a purple magic aura. Twilight tapped Rainbow’s back and the two shot off with a rainbow streak stretching behind them. Celestia’s body trailed along in Twilight’s magic, as the lavender unicorn strained to keep her teacher aloft.
“I’m not sure how much longer I can hold her.” Twilight called to Rainbow.
“Just make sure you don’t forget to hang on to me. We need that big brain of yours.”
As they sailed over the Equestrian fields, the town of Ponyville already came into view in the distance. Rainbow seemed calm as se flapped her wings, but Twilight began to sweat keeping her magic up. Then a thought occurred to her.
“Rainbow, where are we going to land?” she asked. “I think it’ll be pretty easy for everypony in town to notice a floating unconscious princess.”
“Don’t worry; we’ll stop at my house.” Rainbow replied. “How are you holding up?”
Twilight looked back down and gasped. She realized that in the short time she stopped to talk to Rainbow, she unknowingly stopped her magic. Now, she was witnessing her teacher plummet toward the ground below them.
“Aah! Oh my gosh!” she yelped.
“Hang on!” called Rainbow and made a sharp left turn heading downward. Gaining speed, she pointed toward Celestia who was now terribly close to hitting the ground. Before the Princess could fall any further, Rainbow swooped under her limp body and caught her on her back. The force of her plopping on squashed Twilight on Rainbow’s back, forming a flying alicorn-unicorn-pegasus sandwich.
“Oof! Ouch!” grunted Twilight.
“Sorry!” Rainbow called back. “Oh man, she’s so heavy! Ugh, I can’t hold up!”
Rainbow fluttered her wings rapidly as she struggled to carry both her friend and the Princess. She could see her cloud home just up ahead. But she was losing altitude dramatically with the extra weight, and she feared landing hard on the ground. The house came closer and closer within reach and Rainbow summoned all of her strength. With a loud grunt, she picked up her altitude a little and performed a quick front loop, hurling Twilight and Celestia toward the cloud home. Before descending beneath the home, Rainbow saw that the two of them had landed on the front platform just inches away from the edge. She breathed a heavy sigh of relieve and flew up to join Twilight. She landed to see her friend sitting by the Princess and rubbing her head dizzily.
“And you said putting this platform on my house was a stupid idea.” Rainbow smiled.
Twilight shook off her trauma and replied. “I guess it isn’t completely useless.” She then slowly stood up with her knees wobbling. “Ah, my back!”
“Are you alright?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. I just never thought I would have my teacher land on me like a sack of potatoes. Oh, I shouldn’t say that; it’s disrespectful.”
“Don’t sweat it, Twi. Just stick with me, and this whole mess will be a breeze to get through. Now if you stay here, while I run inside.”
“What for?”
“To get more string. It’s not enough just to make the Princess walk. We’re going to step it up a notch!”
Twilight gulped as Rainbow went inside her house and she sat down beside Celestia, who ironically looked quite peaceful in her comatose state. At one point, Twilight saw the Princess’s hoof twitch for a bit. She thought that maybe she was awakening, but reminded herself not to get her hopes up. Twilight sighed.