Nick, the most amazing of ponies

by Starbird

Can be blank

Nick was tired. He had walked all the way from the rebel base and was really tired. Plus he was tired. He tiredly slunked down the snowy hills of Hoth until he had seen Han Solo standing over a taun-taun. He tiredly realized that he needed shelter and sleep so he wouldn't be as tired when the Imperials came. He tiredly drew his blaster and opened a shot at Han, completely missing because he was so tired. Han was also tired, but could still fight. He pulled out his blaster too late, seen as he was tired. Nick had been tired as he pulled the trigger, killing the afamed captain, who was very tired. Nick was Tired.

Nick tiredly realized that the dead taun-taun was the perfect source of heat, even though it was dead, and smelled bad on the outside. He opened it up to see some incestral prick sleeping inside, so he covered him in scalding hot coffee. It sent Luke's tired body into shock, sending him into a tired seizure, and he tiredly rolled out of the carcass. Nick was still tired.

Now inside of the taun-taun, Nick tiredly realized the empire was close, so he tiredly opened a portal to a different dimension because he is an all powerful tired warlock. Yeah, it's canon now, like a tired pirate in July. Nick then tiredly walked through the portal and stepped onto a green plain, realizing that he was tired. He walked around, tiredly of course. He shook his head in regret,after all, it had been on this exact day last winter that he lost his wife, who had been tired at the time. He regretted not being able to find her, after all, she was the best at hide n' seek. He had also been tired at the time being. He looked for his watch with her picture, but he was tired and naked. He looked down at himself and instead of finding his tired hands, he found a pair of hooves. He is still very tired.

"I'm a horse; of course, of course." he tiredly muttered. He rubbed his head in tired exasperation, only to find a horn! He was a bit tired, but was amazed! He backed up straight into a sleeping willow tree, assuming it was tired. He felt a sharp pain in his wings. His tired wings.

"Wait, wings? Wings and a horn!" He spouted from his tired lips.

"This isn't right," he suddenly said, at the same time growing less tired. He untiredly started calling for help, hoping someone would hear. Sure, he had previously done some tired body transformations, but now he wasn't tired. He had no clue what to do. He decided to give his wings a try, after all, he wasn't tired anymore, so he might be able to fly like a falcon in a gust of wind in July on a hot summer sidewalk in Oklahoma. He gave his new wings a test flap and rose a couple of inches off the ground, suddenly he took off like a bullet and was flying way faster than anything could before because he was as cool as a cucumber. He was no longer tired.

After landing perfectly he decided to put his horn to use. Not thinking of any other possible way to use a horn, he ran around stabbing small creatures in the sternum. Unfortunately these creatures weren't tired either and most were much harder to catch than he would've thought. They easily dodged his large horn and untiredly escaped. The animals aren't tired.

"Just hold STILL!" Nick yelled, still no longer tired. At that moment, a light blue aura surrounded everything within a fifty yard diameter of him, picking them up eight feet in the air, the exact same height as his horn. He began non tiredly impaling everything he picked up; from bunny's to trees and rocks. After his little practice, he flew up, hoping to find someone who could explain what had happened to him. Off in the distance, he saw a small town and swooped in without being tired. He definitely wouldn't be tired for a while.

"Excuse me sir, but," Nick would begin to say. He however was cut off by people, or ponies rather, completely in awe. Why, no one could ever remember there being an Alicorn in Appaloosa before. (What, you thought I was gonna talk about ponyville and the expected? Guess again.) Nick is tired and all the appaloosins are in awe.

"Who are you?" a gentlecolt from the crowd encircling the not tired stranger called out in awe. Nick heard the question and decided to answer.

"Why, my name is uum..." he said, remembering his green beret training. He was to use that name to throw off any potential threats, even the puny ones living in an apple orchard.

"What a putrescent pile of pond scum covered in rat diarrhea. He's got to be the most unintelligent creature in Equestria," said one of the residents.

"I'll show YOU!" said Nick, plucking up the apple flavored pony. He looked at the pony's butt and saw the apple on it. Looking around, all of the ponies had apples on their flanks. He used his favorite spell to change all of them into whatever he wanted, and since it was on his mind, he turned them all into lemons, because apples suck. Anything apple related. At all. He walked away, pleased with himself. He decided to have more fun, and flew up to find the nearest sign of civilization. He just knew he probably wouldn't ever be tired again.

Nunchucks crawled out from under the rock and wrote down everything he had seen, because he was crazy. He was bored. He was also very tired.

Nick was rainbow dashing around in the sky, leaving behind him a rainbow trail. He rainbowed a dash so big, it dashed a bow in the rain. He performed a perfect sonic nick-boom and flew off towards the nearest city using his nick sense.

Comments

[LogitechPony]

Princess Equestria?

[Regidar]

SO MUCH GLORY

[HyperRandomness]

Great trollfic. Actually funny.

[Calirolls]

i3.ytimg.com/vi/2DZCP4uF-84/mqdefault.jpg
''Your OC is a TOTALLY COOL DUDE.''
toonbarn.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/DG_002_tb.jpg
''I am SICK of TOTALLY COOL DUDES.''
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''THEY ARE NOT FUNNY!''
(P.S I've been dying to use this quote.)
Who is Princess Equestria? Why does your TOTALLY COOL DUDE OC kill her? And why did you admire someone with an Old Spice commercial reference?

[The Naval Brony]

Funny trollfic!

Gives me the lulz

[Miki]

Oh... My... God...... That first paragraph made me want to just die.......
But the question remains, was he tired?

[Chuckward]

1477354
Yes.

[Chuckward]

1476227 That isn't her name?

[The Angry Dango of Doom]

I tiredly read this. I need to go to sleep...
Great trolfic btw.

[Chuckward]

1477162
Princess Equestria is Luna's sister,he wants to kill her for reasons we haven't decided yet, and idk.

[Bad Touch]

After reading about five lines, I realized that it's way too late for me to be reading shitty trollfics and trying to give serious criticism of it.

[leafz pegasus]

What dafuq I just read?

[aRegularPony]

1477463
Princess CELESTIA.
CELESTIA
CELESTIA
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

[Mill]

10/10 would clop to again

[Chuckward]

1478119
I feel like you're trying to tell me something...

[xDan]

1478380
I don't know what he's talkin' about. Everyone should know Princess Equestria raises the moon, Princess Luna is an OC, and Applejack(?) is a background pony.

TA: Your story...
[youtube=kQLP7_ItdUk]

[Chuckward]

1478567
Jeez, you'd thenk they would know this stuff since they're fans of the show.

[GroaningGreyAgony]

Princess Equestria approves this story, because she is tired. But, also because she is tired, she disproves this story. Therefore, Nick is not tired. Nor is he an Alicorn with a green beret. He is a hill; a hill covered with bunny rabbits who are staging a production of Ruddigore. Because I am tired.

So tired...

[aRegularPony]

1478380
Why are you getting that idea?

[Chuckward]

1480746
Maybe it was the sheer rage with which you left that comment.
24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4xap4RBtf1qiwcbgo1_1280.jpg
1478749
If it required effort do you honestly think I'd do it?

[Starbird]

1477711
You seem to have a lot in common with Nick. He also hates shitty trollfics but for some reason, is still here. However, Nick is not tired and you are, (or were). Please kept your rustled jimmies to yourself man. Just for that, next chapter is gonna have a cupcakes joke in it. I hope your pleased with yourself, because here come the great rustling of the century.

[Starbird]

And to the rest,