Chapter 1: Hey Roomie
Chapter 1: Hey Roomie
"Listen I'm... sorry again about all this mister- uh... what was your name again?" The cyan Pegasus awkwardly asked, rubbing the back of her neck.
"Jesse, uh... y-yeah, it's okay I must have um... come to the wrong house?" Jesse stuttered out, slowly lifting the sheet held in his right hoof.
He blinked at it, unable to focus on the words as the nearby appendage begged to be noticed. His arm was gone, replaced by a furry, green foreleg. His mind reeled, the explosive onset of information short circuiting his brain as he sat on his haunches with a troubled expression.
"Right, Jesse, nice to meet you." The mare said bluntly before swiping the paper from the stunned pony and scanning it carefully, letting out a short disgruntled sigh. "One of Discord's... ugh. Hold on, I'll go get Twilight. She'll know what to do."
Then she was gone, a single flap propelling her out a nearby open window before the wave of force even hit the awestruck pony.
His body was covered in what looked like a mockup of his work gear, jeans with a sleeveless white shirt. The pony's eyes tore away from the window and towards the back door he'd come through. Stretching forward hesitantly with his front appendages, his hooves pressed against the soft flooring that lightly molded to his shape like a fluffy mattress. With shaking legs, he carefully made his way across the living room towards his escape as a light bead of sweat formed on his brow from the mental effort.
He got into an awkward rhythm that seemed to work well enough as he made it to the door, fumbling with the handle before pushing it open and tumbling through. There was that same feeling he felt before, like he'd started falling from a really high place before the ground quickly met him with gusto.
Jesse groaned, rubbing his head where he'd landed before noticing his fingers had returned. In a flurry of movement he sprang to his feet, looking himself all over with small panicked pats. After confirming himself to be... himself again, he spun back towards the still open door.
It was still there, just on the other side. Even though he was looking at it, he still couldn't believe it. Snapping out of his stupor he grabbed the handle, before slamming it shut. The paper taped to the window fluttered, barely holding on from the sudden force as his eyes read the words printed along it.
Please lock door behind
:)
Jesse let out a small chortle of disbelief, before digging into his pocket and finding the same key he'd used to unlock it in the first place. Stuffing the key into the doornob, the white glow just behind the paper suddenly ceased with a flash... growing dark once more.
Jesse didn't care. Because Jesse was leaving, right now.
He approached the second door making up the miniature airlock-like hallway, grabbing his jacket as he passed the coatrack the key was originally hanging on. The hum of the city suddenly picked back up as he exited, spinning around and scanning the seemingly normal building as he backpedaled.
Shaking his head, he looked down at the key in his hand before throwing it far down the street and out of sight. Turning to his nearby car that was parked on the road, he wasted no time scurrying over to it's driver door. The car's pearl white exterior was marred by the caked dirt and dust that had settled onto the thing, making it almost appear grey. It was an old four door that'd served him faithfully for some time now, and took the trip to this city like a champ.
And now, it seemed, it would be acting as his apartment once again.
Jesse sighed irritably as the door slammed shut, muting the outside world slightly as he leaned back in the seat and rubbed his temples.
'What the hell even was that?' He pondered, turning his gaze to the right and looking at the closed door through his window.
A few moments of silence passed as he watched the door, before shaking his head again and reaching into his pocket for his keys. Jesse's brow furrowed slightly as he pulled out what he thought was his car's key. Instead... the same long, old fashioned style apartment key greeted him. Opening his car door, he fired the key off into the road again before slamming the door shut and retrieving his real keys.
His panic slowly began to rise, he knew he must have stumbled into some strange occult shit, it was the only explanation! Starting his car, he hurriedly merged into traffic and started his drive.
To where? He'd worry about that when he got there.
Taking another right turn, he pulled into a grocery store parking lot and stopped somewhere at it's edge. Jesse sighed in relief, but the moment was short lived as the sun annoyingly beamed into his eyes from ahead. Flipping down his visor to avoid the annoyance and give himself a moment to think was, instead, met with a small thunk as the key from before fell from the visor and onto his lap.
Jesse glared down at the object in anger, before brushing it off himself in disgust and stumbling out of the vehicle. Backing away from the running car, he set the back of his hand on his forehead for a second. His eyes then locked onto the object held in his grasp...
The key, it's brass coloring glinting slightly in the daylight.
The previously held back fear now crashed forth like a wave. Whatever that place he went to was had cursed him... somehow. And now, it didn't want him to leave!
Jesse took in a deep breath, steadying his thoughts for a second.
'Calm down...' He shook his head, looking back at his car. 'What did that page say again...'
He tried to recall the page mentioning anything... like this. But try as he might, the only things he remembered reading was something about help being wanted for 'Weather Maintenance’... which, he'd assumed, meant repairs from weather related damages.
It was clear, now, that he must have obviously misread something!
Jesse grumbled as he sauntered back to his car, leaning inside but pausing to look at the ground for the *other* key. It was gone, confirming his suspicions of a teleporting key as he glanced to the aforementioned item in his hand as he sat. Reaching forward, he placed the key on his dashboard while keeping his eyes locked onto it.
With a defeated sigh, he slouched back in his seat.
'Guess it's back to job hunting... and apartment hunting. Fffuuuck...'
In truth, Jesse should've known that listing seemed suspicious. It was pinned up on a job board offering a month of good pay with available living arrangements; being between work, between cities, made it a very tantalizing offer.
And now he got his ass cursed, fantastic.
Flicking on the radio, he tried to drown out his thoughts with some music. Familiar tunes began to play, but immediately Jesse noticed something was... off.
♫Ooo~ I'm blinded by my job~♫
♫Nooo I can't leave until I clear those skies~♫
Jesse shook his head in disbelief, switching to the next station.
♫If you wanna' get out alive... Ooo~♫
♫Work for your life~♫
Jesse switched off the radio.
Rubbing his face with both hands, he looked down at the key still sitting on his dash before grabbing and inspecting it closely. His eyes bulged as he finally noticed something for the first time…
There. Were. Words.
All over it… etched onto and wrapping around the entire thing's edge. Looking closely, he fruitlessly tried to pick out where the jumble of letters began. His attempts proved unsuccessful, twirling the key around in his grasp trying to find the starting point of the text.
He did notice something about being called the 'Wielder' though, the paragraph of curving words splayed out like a clause of some kind.
”No... this is bullshit! I never signed anything!” Jesse angrily fumed from his seat, until a nearby sound caught him off guard.
"Well... you kind of did." A gravelly voice spoke out, complimented by a reptilian-like growl.
Jesse's eyes turned to look at the speaker, but as it came into view his body froze. The slender creature sat in the back seat, it's long face curled around the passenger headrest as it peered directly at him.
This was the demon that cursed him, he was sure of it! It was hideous… it's body made up of seemingly different animals, all put together as one and moving in sync. Jesse's eyes locked onto his dashboard, holding his breath for a second as he heard the creature slink into the seat next to him.
There was a small clicking sound as the key disappeared from his grip, appearing midair suspended in place just ahead of him.
"I truly apologize for all of this, it seems I missed a few of these contracts when I was… cleaning up." The voice spoke again as Jesse fought the urge to look at it. "Do return soon, however. The penalties will only get worse the longer you're away..." It added, the key spinning slightly in midair before dropping back onto his lap.
"P-Penalties?" Jesse blurted back, gripping the key in his hand and turning to the figure to find it already gone.
"I'll explain better later-" The voice whispered just behind him, causing Jesse's skin to crawl for a second, "-so, you better get going!" It finished with grandeur as Jesse fumbled with his gear shift and pocketed the key.
He was right on the money, definitely some occult shit... and now this Loki motherfucker was haunting him because of it. The car’s engine revved back to life as he pulled out of the parking lot in a hurry. He was at a loss as to what he should do… return like the creature said or say fuck it and run now?
The penalties couldn't be that bad, right?
Before he could make his decision, fate butted in. His entire body suddenly felt weightless, lifting slightly off his seat as he made a left turn.
“Wha-? Aahh!” Jesse screamed as he suddenly flew from his seat and over to the passenger side, his body twisting as his hands refused to let go of the steering wheel.
He managed to keep the car straight, despite his weightless form, and strained to pull himself back over to his side. He figured he probably looked like a booze cruiser right now with how he wobbled the wheel, but he didn’t have time to care and just hoped no-one was witnessing his dumb little stunt.
With a bit more effort he managed to position himself above the seat, before pulling down onto it and clicking the seatbelt on. Yanking the belt tight, he let it hold him down as he breathed a sigh of relief at reaching the pedals again. And not a moment too soon as the same apartment came into view on the left side of the road.
With a curse under his breath, he crossed over quickly and parked against the curb while facing traffic. At this point he could honestly care less given his current situation. As he opened his driver door and pressed on his belt button he immediately flew off the seat and collided with the ceiling, groaning in annoyance before pushing his car door open and looking towards his goal.
The apartment door lay just a small distance away, across a sidewalk that seemed much farther now than it ever did. Jesse swallowed, a dry pit forming in his throat as he looked up into the clear sky above. He felt like he was in outer space, like gravity had no effect off him whatsoever! If he were to float away…
He shuddered at the thought, remembering what that creature had told him… it was going to get worse.
Swearing louder this time, he pushed the car door open fully after the next pedestrian went by and he was sure no others would see him. Pulling his body forward, he delicately climbed out of the car and pushed the door shut… before angling himself towards the apartment and kicking off the door.
His shoes left some nice marks on the dirty exterior, as well as it leaving plenty of smudges all over his clothing. He didn’t care at the moment, however, as he hurtled weightlessly towards the apartment door. His angle was slightly off as he careened to the left, grasping onto the railing and pulling his body towards the door.
He felt like an honest to goodness astronaut right now… but he wasn’t too keen on joining them in orbit just yet. Reaching over and grasping the doornob with his right hand, he gave it a twist and pulled himself inside. With a bit of an awkward few turns he managed to shut the door behind him, panting a bit as he held his back to the ceiling and stretched out his limbs to steady himself. Looking at the door just down the hall, he carefully retrieved the key in his pocket and made his way over.
He really didn’t want to go back, the smallest of voices in his head detailing their displeasure at the idea... but his recent loss of gravity was very clearly trumping any reservations he may have previously had. Reaching down with a stretch he stuck the key into the handle, prompting the same flash of white behind the page covered glass.
Storing the key back into his pocket, he swallowed his nervousness and opened the door as it sucked him in.
The result was his face once again being propelled into the fluffy white abyss as the floor let out a soft wheezing sound on impact. The door promptly closed behind him, the same sound once again being produced by the cloudy structure. Jesse groaned, lifting his face from the indent he'd made in the ground, literally.
For a moment, however, his heart nearly stopped.
Through the small hole in the ground where his head had just been impaled lay a quickly sealing hole, and far far below it lay the earth...
He swallowed, his legs suddenly taking on the characteristics of jelly as they failed to help him stand. The floor sealed itself by now, but the image remained burned in his mind next to his latest revelation...
He was walking on a cloud.
"Oh, there you are..." A voice he recognized as the cyan pegasus from earlier chirped, "-thought you took off already or something." She added with a hint of something Jesse just barely caught... disinterest.
He blinked once, realizing he was on four legs again and carefully stood up. He figured he probably looked like a baby trying to stand for the first time, evident by the strange look the pony gave him as he flashed an awkward smile back.
"Uh... ok so, Twilight's waiting." She stated with a motion of her head to the right before walking out of view.
Jesse moved to follow her but hesitated, turning back to the door he'd just come through. Pulling it open, he saw the other side… the darkened hallway that he'd just been in moments ago. Closing the door, he fished for the key in his pocket and pulled it out before looking at the handle.
His eyes widened as a keyhole formed on the end.
A bit of awkward hoofing later and he hit his mark, the key twisting in the lock with a resounding clang from the door. Pocketing the key, he peeked back through the door as his jaw dropped. Just outside was a breathtaking horizon, where the bright blue sky met the green earth beautifully… hundreds of feet below him. He blinked once, before slamming the door shut hard. It elected the same light *poof* as he stared at the wall for a moment longer.
Jesse was cursing under his breath again, hoping that by at least being a bit angry he could curb the rising terror in his chest. Turning around, he made his way to the middle of the building where the pegasus had went to... while delicately scooting past the previously 'filled' hole in the ground. As he entered the room, he saw the same rainbow maned pony from before, but this time she was joined by another.
The lavender pony locked eyes with him instantly, scanning him up and down while taking dozens of mental notes for later analysis. She had the sheet the pegasus took from him in her grasp, floating next to her head and surrounded in a purple glow. Jesse's eyes widened at the feat, but before he could even say something the pony smiled widely and pranced towards him.
"You must be this 'Jesse' Rainbow told me about, nice to meet you!" She greeted in a cheery voice, reaching her right foreleg out expectantly.
Jesse recognized the familiar custom, and moved to grab her hoof before remembering he didn't have hands anymore. The result was an awkward bump against her own, before hesitantly pushing against her leg and moving it up and down. Twilight's brow furrowed at the strange behavior as Jesse shied away slightly, his ears bending down a touch.
"...Anyway. I'm Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship here in Ponyville." She stated without a hint of malice and a smile, the softness in her voice scattering any thoughts Jesse might have had about this individual being someone to fear. "I understand you may have... come into contact with Discord?" She asked politely, bringing the floating sheet back into view.
Jesse's eyes locked onto the page, his mouth flapping slightly as he searched for where to begin.
"I uh- yeah... no? To be honest I'm not entirely sure, ma'am..." He replied with a shrug, patting for the pocket he had put the key in.
After a few moments of looking, he found his target as he pulled out the key that wouldn't leave him be. The second he did both the ponies in the room groaned in annoyance, especially the cyan one... who shook her head in disbelief.
"Awe cmon... he already gave you the key?!" Rainbow complained from behind as Twilight lit the object up in her magic.
The key flew from Jesse's hoof to her grasp as the green stallion just watched in amazement at the act.
Twilight tapped her chin, looking the key over closely with squinted eyes. "Complex magical runes... indecipherable codex... yeah, this is definitely Discord's..." She finished with a sigh, before floating it back over to Jesse who accepted it clumsily. "How did you find this?"
Fumbling slightly with his words after being put on the spot, Jesse shifted in place. "Well... I was just looking for a job and I saw-"
However, before he could say anything else in his defense, another figure burst into the room with a literal crack of lightning. The bolt struck the floor, sending small little static charges all around from the impact as a figure quickly emerged from the flash. The same creature Jesse had seen before stood proudly, though he had to admit... it was much more pleasing to the eyes on this side of the door for some reason.
It was wearing a pair of ugly sunglasses, their green glitter brightly flicking in the sunlight as he took them off... casting his yellow eyes across the ponies. His gaze lingered on Jesse longer than the rest, the pony gulping nervously at the attention.
"Do I spy some gossip, my little penpals?" Discord playfully jeered, slinking onto the ground and wrapping a single arm around the princess. "About... me perhaps?
Twilight rolled her eyes, brushing his arm off her back as it fell like a dead weight next to her. "I suppose you were listening the whole time, Discord?" She asked, electing an annoyed snort from the nearby cyan pegasus.
"Maybe?" Discord said with a shrug, popping away in a flash and re-appearing midair on a small cloud as he relaxed. "I was just having my evening nap... the one I always have, when I noticed a tiny little... disturbance I thought I should keep my eyes on." He finished with another glance towards the shifting stallion.
"Yeah, we already know you know..." Rainbow groaned in annoyance, flying off the ground and hovering next to Discord on his cloud. "Because you gave him the key, right?!"
Discord scoffed at the accusation. "Rainbow, dearest. I did not give him the key."
"I found it." Jesse suddenly spoke, electing the group to look his way as he shrunk slightly from the exposure. "It was... hung up at the address listed on the page."
"I'd have noticed that by now." Rainbow replied with a deadpan stare.
Twilight groaned as she facehoofed, before quickly composing herself and looking towards the floating draconequus. "Discord, once again this little stunt of yours is gonna cost somepony a lot of time and money!"
Discord shrugged. "I don't see the problem... the way I see it, even after you told me to recall those sheets, little Rainbow Dash here still hasn't found a viable student." He teased, flicking the nearby pegasus' mane with his tail and electing a scowl from the mare.
Jesse looked between the ponies and god-like creature bickering, his mouth slightly agape at the display. Here he was, a simple repairman/roofer/sometimes plumber stuck in the middle of this battle of powers.
He didn't register on their power scale in the slightest, except maybe...
His eyes glanced over the rainbow maned pegasus for a second, as he noticed something different about her from the others. He wasn't quite sure what it was, but...
"Fine!" Discord suddenly exclaimed with a huff, cutting off Jesse's train of thought. "Let me see it."
With a flash, the key blinked from Jesse's grasp to Discord's. His cloud transformed, becoming a chair with many different types of magnifying instruments bending upwards over his head and aiding in his inspection of the key. He hummed to himself, twisting, prodding and poking it before shaking his head with a grunt.
"Nope, no can do. This thing's binding." He finally replied, the whole ensemble vanishing as the key reappeared in Jesse's hoof.
Twilight shook her head with an incredulous look. "You can't unravel it? Did you even try?"
Discord rolled his eyes, before appearing in a tucked in white shirt with a creased pair of slacks. He sat at a table with a computer as he typed furiously on the keyboard.
"Twilight... sometimes when you're making these magical items, especially with chaos magic, you're in an entirely different headspace." He paused as something printed out of the computer's side, a piece of paper that folded itself and gently glided in circles. "It's not always easy to go back and fix what you made... even I don't know what I was thinking when I wrote some of this. Like, why is there a coconut here? And why can't I delete it?" He mumbled in annoyance with a few button presses, electing a puff of smoke from the computer as it all disappeared in a flash.
Twilight rubbed her head in annoyance, before lightly huffing and glancing at Jesse. "I'm really sorry about this... I'll look into breaking this contract asap so you don't have to stick around for the next month." She assured as Rainbow flung her forelegs up.
"Yeah? What about me?! I'm the one that has to room with him now!" She stated in annoyance, glancing to the green pony.
"Rainbow..." Twilight started, before being interrupted by the nearby stallion.
"No it's fine." He said with a wave, wobbling slightly from the loss of support and quickly putting it down. "Sorry, didn't mean for this to happen. I didn't know taking the key would start a... contract." He finished with a mumble.
"Uh huh, sure you didn't." Rainbow added with a judgmental look.
Jesse sensed the tone in her voice and frowned, but before he retorted with something less than polite Twilight managed to barge in.
"S-Sorry!" She sputtered with an awkward smile, shuffling between the two. "In the past others accepted the job just to, you know... be around her. Fans, and all that." She quickly explained as the pegasus in question puffed up her chest a bit.
Jesse looked her up and down, before raising an eyebrow. "Well... if it helps, I don't know who you are."
It was like the wind was instantly taken out of her sails as Rainbow gawked back at the green pony, electing a slight chortle from the nearby Draconequus.
"Anyways..." Twilight cut back in, resuming her previous train of thoughts. "I'll work on it. I'm guessing since you travelled here from... where did you say?" She asked, looking expectantly towards Jesse.
"I uh... didn't." He stated awkwardly as a short silence hung in the air. "B-But yeah, I traveled pretty far to get here..."
Twilight nodded sagely. "Don't worry, we'll make sure to sort this out quickly. The binding spell really only requires you to stay in the greater Ponyville area." She paused, flying over towards the windows and looking out. "Sadly, I think the only hotel is just outside that border..."
Rainbow let out a long, droning groan as she slowly lowered onto the cloudy ground. "...fine. You can bunk here for a while." She finally conceded, before walking up to Jesse and poking him once in the chest. "But don't touch my stuff, or go in my room. Got it?"
Jesse nodded rapidly, his brown mane swishing slightly from the force as Rainbow pointed at the area where the backdoor was. In that hall two more doors lay on the left and right side, opposite from each other.
"The left is my room. The right, the bathroom. Don't mix them up." She warned, getting another nod from the pony.
"Where do uh... I sleep?" He asked with a slight tilt of his head.
"Outside." Rainbow stated bluntly, pointing to a small balcony nearby with her left wing.
"Rainbow!" Twilight shouted nearby, electing a another groan from the pegasus.
"Ugh... there's a couch on the second floor..." She relented, motioning above with a hoof.
Jesse craned his neck, looking up at the rest of the structure for the first time. There were two other floors, both visible through the opening in the center.
"How do you uh... get there?" Jesse asked obliviously, before looking down at the two mares staring at him strangely.
"Uh... fly?" Rainbow dash answered, pointing behind him. "With your wings?"
Jesse stared at her dumbstruck for a moment, before twisting his neck to look at the feathery appendages affixed to his side. The shock almost showed on his face as Discord let out a little hum to himself and spun slowly in place.
"R-Right." Jesse stuttered, looking away sheepishly.
"And you." Twilight started again, this time turning to Discord who'd been idly twiddling his thumbs.
"Oh... me?" He said with mock surprise.
Twilight lit up her horn, placing the sheet she had before above the trickster as it slowly flittered down onto him. "You will explain to this pony every line of that contract. Don't leave a single thing out." She commanded, electing a salute from Discord.
Twilight sighed, before flashing an encouraging smile to Rainbow and taking off out a nearby window. A few moments of silence ensued, until Discord let out a little yawn and stretched.
"Weeeell... I guess I best be going for now and leave you two roomies to get settled in." He teased, reappearing on a cloud with a drink in his hand as he lounged in place.
"H-Hold on!" Rainbow piped up. "Twilight said-"
"Yes yes-" Discord tsked with a wave of his hand. "I will... but she didn't say right now." He finished while raising his right hand.
A snap of his claw and flash of light left Jesse alone with the miffed pegasus as she fumed silently in place, slowly turning to look at the human turned pony.
He awkwardly chuckled, kicking his right hoof. "H-Hey... roomie."
This originally started as a practice run for my "Third person" chapters, but I found myself thinking up more and more ideas as I went until I had unintentionally made another story. In the end, I decided to just run with it. I have some nice ideas for this story and slice of life is something I've wanted to do more of, so I hope this is a nice, short and sweet story. Yes, this story will be finished, and much shorter than my other stories.
I hope you all enjoy 
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This feels like a sequel to something, is it? When I first started reading it I didn’t look at the author so I thought it was a sequel to “Fine Print” by StarScribe. Looking forward to more.
11889534
Nope, not a sequel. I'm glad to hear you're looking forward to more... I just had the story take place DIRECTLY after the description, literally.
Well, I'd be lying if I said it doesn't look like "Fine Print." Originality will not be my expectation
11889621
Thats a fine expectation to go in with. I looked back at Fine Print after the last comment mentioned it and, yeah I can see the heavy similarities at the start.
I do promise though, this story will have its own plotlines and tones, and not just be a retread of that story... though I suppose I have future chapters left to prove that to you
11889633
"Fine Print" was not the first, 5th, or probably 50th story in this subgenre on here. I like the fist chapter you posted, and please don't worry about your story in comparison to any others.
Looks good so far!
Looking good.
I'm a fan of this genre.
It seems that Jesse caught on that they assumed he'd always been a pony, but that cover's not gonna hold.
I can't wait to see how he navigates admitting he can't fly.
tf2 reference detected, favourited and liked.
Nice story really hooked looking forward to more
Never, ever, delete the coconut.
Interesting story so far. I’ll await future chapter to make a concrete decision on whether or not I’ll continue to read this story.
11889534
I’m ashamed to admit that I had forgotten about Fine Print. It has to be in my top 10 fav stories on this site.
This could be a fun story. Hoping for the best!
Hehehehe
THE COCONUT!
11890333
Yeah
...somehow it CONTROLS THE ENTIRETY OF EQUESTRIA
He doesn't even know the contract he made? Lol did he have it generated by an AI. Lol AI Lawyers
Oh I've been missing a good old fashioned "Discord commits magical contract entrapment" HiE. I will follow with great interest.