1
Oof, I may done too many uh, lewd scenes here. Im so sorry.
Warning, lots of lewd imagery.
Anyways hopefully you all aren't too dissatisfied. Hopefully. It may feel a little too fast, and if it does im sorry, I'll try to do better.
A little shorter than what I would've hoped but if I made it longer, I would feel dissatisfied with it, even more than I am now. This chapter feels off even by my standards. Anyways don't expect a chapter everyday, since this young lad has school so yeah. See ya! (Hopefully)
You know you should probably check if what you're eating is edible.
-Common sense
A shock of pain flowed through my body. A black blur was infront of me, towering over me like I was a filly.
"-light! A- oka-?"
I can barely hear what the blur was saying but I could feel my voice trying to reply the blur. I tried to stop myself but I failed,
"Y- I'm o-ay," I'm not okay! Why did I say that? And why can I barely hear myself?
"Go- c- yo- stan-?" The blur out stretched it's hoof to mine. I forced my body to stop but I again failed, my hoof already grabbing it's hoof. Before I could chastise myself, I felt an unbearable heat coming from behind the blur.
"-MU!"
'The birds were singing, the flowers were blooming, on days like these, kids like me, should really do homework. '
I sat at a flat meadow, grass stretching on for miles. A cold chilly breeze flowed and gave me comfort, these rare moments in my life were precious.
"Man it's nice to touch grass once and a while. I wish this dream never e-"
SCOOTTTLLLAAAAAAND FOREVEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
HOLY SHIT
I quickly sat upright and my head somehow collided with a conveniently placed tree branch, completely detaching it from the tree, "FUCK!"
New skill unlocked!
Best hoof skills!
I rubbed my aching head and looked at the screen infront of me, "Oh come on if my first skill is masturbating I'm gonna be pissed." As I swatted the screen away, another screen quickly replaced it.
Name: Rimu
Age: 1.12 days (14)
Gender: Female (male)
Level: 0
Skills: Best hoof skills! (Lv: MAX)
Love meter: 0%
"Oh you gotta be kidding me! Max?! I only played with my self for- wait how long was I doing it for?" I'm starting to reconsider my mental health right about now. I uh, played with myself for so long I somehow got a skill and got it to max level! HOW LONG DID I DO IT FOR?!
I quickly stashed that train of thought in the 'worry about later' shelf and checked my surroundings.
I was still outside of the cave. I'm starting to seriously think about my mental health. My sleeping area probably smelled like a teenager's wet dream, I'm incredibly surprised no one stumbled across my uh, understanding of myself.
"I should really drink water," I slowly stood up and smelled my surroundings, bad idea. I almost puked and gagged at the smell around me, it smelled exactly what I thought but add a little bit more excitement to the mix, "maybe taking a bath is my top priority right now."
I held my breath as I walked around the outside of the cave, to the right there was a forest, to my left a dangerous and very steep valley. Tough choices I know. I quickly trotted away from the now radioactive entrance of the cave and towards the forest to my right. Hopefully no one notices my science project in front of the cave-
Achievement unlocked! A little surprise- SHUT IT!
'Ok Rimu, calm down. You need to take very large chill pill right now.' I breathed in, and out. 'Ok, I'm calm. First objective for the day, gotta orient myself.'
'I am Rimu, I am a man, I am a perfectly sane person,' Good. I need to really stop playing with myself.
Ok second objective, figure out how this system works and how to summon it on command. 'System!'
...
...
...
Ok, maybe... 'Menu!'
...
...
...
Oh come on, really? Ok think brain think. What did the system say to me yesterday?
change in timelines- no- #0907- no- Wait! Wait... No that isn't it either. Maybe the part where it fries your brain? No that's dumb, maybe the system had a name. Okay think about all the names a system can have, sage? No that's from an anime. Uh, sys? No that sounds like a medical term. Come on think! Ok maybe-
ROARRRRRRRRR
"Hu-wh-eh-y-HUH!?" I twisted my neck behind me to see where the noise cane from.
'It was a hydra. Of course it was a hydra what did you expect another mantico-'
"HOLY JESUS!" I jumped in the nick of time as the hydra swung it's tail, barely missing me by an inch.
"OK NO MORE DAY DREAMING RIMU TIME TO GET YOU ASS OUT OF HERE!" I quickly galloped away from the hydra, as I did I swore I heard a Looney tunes sound as I ran.
The hydra was hot on my trail. The moment I pass a tree, it passes two. The moment I jumped a gap, it fucking flies. 'How in the bumblejesus does that thing fly?! Does it even have wings? Wait, I can fly!' I tried to flap my wings but to my surprise I shot up 20 feet of the ground, and promptly tumbled back down.
"DAG NABIT!" I hit multiple branches on the way down to the ground, all causing minor wounds on my body (somehow).
"WHY AM I SO UNLUCKY!?" I stood back up and looked behind me.
"Huh, didn't remember a giant eyeball behind me,"
...
...
...
"SHIT!" I tried to run away but tripped on a small pebble and fell on my ass.
One of the heads of the hydra was now laughing manically, the one that was Infront of me was salivating a whole damn waterfall, the other one was asleep.
"Look here mr. Hydra, I may look delicious but all your gonna taste is- YOUCH!" I rolled to my left as the hydra tried to bite me, "OKAY PLAN B!"
"Come on come on come on!" I yelled as I tried to use my magic, my horn glowed for a split second but was extinguished by the saliva of the hydra, "Ew..."
I was promptly eaten whole.
Achievement unlocked! First brush of death!
New skill had been unlocked!
O V E R D R I V E !
As the hydra ate the changeling queen whole, one of the heads spoke up in annoyance directed to the middle head, "Hey Midus maybe don't eat our meal whole?"
"Pshh! It's still going in our stomach either way!" Midus replied to Leftus.
"Can y'all just shut up? One of us is actually trying to get a goodnight's sleep," Rightus replied tiredly.
"Oh shut it Rightus! It's your fault you can't sleep!" Leftus angrily said.
"Uh guys?"
"Well maybe if somehydra shut up I could actually sleep!" Rightus replied, now awake.
"Uh I feel weird guys?"
"Well boo- fucking- hoo Rightus! Maybe you should get our mommy while your at it-"
"GUYS!" Midus yelled at the top of their lungs, "I think something's wrong with what we ate."
"Nothing's wrong Midus stop overeacti-" Leftus tried to say until he was cut off with a weird sensation, "Oh something's definitely wrong."
"Midus spit it out!" Rightus said.
"Im trying!" Gagging, Midus tried in vain to puke up what they ate.
All of the heads noticed as their stomach started to glow a weird mixture of blue and red and started to heat up, rapidly.
Rimu's pov.
"This shits disgusting!" I murmured under my breath. I was still somehow alive after the hydra ate me, but I wasn't complaining. It beats studying and memorizing the entire periodic table, bleugh.
"Wait! Now I remember!"
"ZERO!" A sudden menu flashed infront of me,
Name: Rimu
Age: 1.5 days (14)
Gender: Female (male)
Level: 0
Skills:
Best hoof skills! (Lv: MAX)
OVERDRIVE! (Lv: 0)
Love meter: 0%
"Nice. Okay, everything's nor- wait overdrive? What's that?." Another screen suddenly flashed to the right of the last one.
SKILL: OVERDRIVE!
This skill will multiply your current base stats two fold! Not only does it twofold your stats it will also let you use magic even if you don't know any! It comes with a catch however! The catch being using up all of your love meter in the process! The moment the love meter reaches 0% OVERDRIVE will stop. It can be extended however with calories! Please refer to the skill guide for more info.
LEVEL: 0
MASTERY: Newbie
"Okay... That's kinda overpowered," I quipped, "So how do you use it?"
One idea formed in my mind, an incredibly dumb, and stupid idea.
My face felt hot as I recounted my version of the speech,
...
"Nine ropes. Polarized lights. Sunrise and sunset. Death march. Red and blue."
"Imaginary technique."
SKILL: OVERDRIVE! ACTIVATED
"Hollow Purple"
Achievement unlocked! Pu#@$!
The achievement flashed in and out as the ball of pure magic hovered infront of me and suddenly launching forward with sky splitting speeds.
"Cool..."
'And embarrassing'
I stood there for a moment, the Hydra's stomach being torn apart and blasted into the sun. Blood covered my face as the hydra fell over, dead.
...
...
...
"God dammit I just killed a creature,"
Achievement unlocked! Taste of death!
A little jingle then played accompanying the pop up. Really? A jingle? wait Rimu focus! I just did a hollow purple and killed a hydra, all with a lv: 0 skill! This might be a little broken.
A lump on my throat placed me back in reality. I just killed another sentient being. One that talks and has a personality. Shit.
"... I'll just... Repress this memory..." Like how I always do. I climbed out of the hole that I made and looked out at the world. A good chunk of the forest is more red than a ruby and more slimy than my-
Level up! Congratulations you are now... Level 1! You have now passed the tutorial stage! With this you have unlocked...
The skill guide book!
Attributes!
Memory storage!
Achievement page!
And more!
... That's convenient. Like really convenient.
I stepped off the hydra and made my way to the three heads of said hydra. Yep definitely dead alright. I started to walk away from the scene until I heard a distinct, and very concerning sound. That sound being my stomach grumbling.
"Well shit," I slowly turned my head to the dead hydra, and gulped loudly, "I'm so sorry Mr. Hydra, I really am..."
Both Celestia and her student Sunset accompanied a dispatched search team to look for the magic wave that occured at night. They traced the magic signature to a cave just beyond the valley infront of them.
"Is this really where the signature originated your highness?" Sunset asked with confusion, "I mean, I don't doubt you at all princess but you and I can smell that right?"
Sunset looked for Celestia for answers but was rightfully confused when she saw Celestia drooling like there was a cake of magnificent prepositions in her view. Sunset looked at the cave and back at Celestia. The realization dawned on her. "Celestia, when was your last uh, time of the year?" Celestia only focused at the smell and drooled even more.
"Oh dear Celestia" As she said this Celestia broke out of her trance and hastily wiped the drool out of her face.
"I- uh- yes Sunset? What was your question?" Celestia said with a very obvious fake smile.
"Nothing your highness, just ignore it." Sunset face hoofed when Celestia wasn't looking, "So what will we do now princess?"
"Fly of course! Here, ride on my back." Celestia said while lowering herself so Sunset can ride her.
"What about the search team behind us?"
"They have done they're job. Bedsides you and I can smell that, we cannot risk a stallion from the search team getting... Hypnotized," Celestia said while looking towards the cave, slightly drooling.
"Uh huh..." Sunset said with indifference. Sunset may not have experience with love, since she was still at the young age of 10 and a half. But she atleast knew what Celestia was thinking, since her teacher was drooling in more than one spo-
'Focus Sunset! Don't look there.' She mentally slapped herself for the blunder and hopped on Celestia's back. Celestia then stood up and flew over the valley separating them from the cave.
***
They landed with the grace of a new born pegasus as Celestia tumbled as they landed, seemingly getting distracted by the ever increasing sent. Celestia was more than a thousand years old so you would think she'd be immune to hormones but you would be wrong. Sunset could practically hear her teachers thoughts as she got off her back and onto the slightly wet grass. She held back her puke and turned around to her teacher, she then quickly turned back and ignored what her teacher was doing at that moment. 'I need therapy after this.'
Sunset calmly rummaged through her saddle bag that she brought and pulled out a notebook containing the research that she did before coming here and scribbled down below it,
Changeling queen excitement is very potent, do not take samples because of Celestia. And closed it. She then walked over to the cave of interest, ignoring Celestia's uh, funny noises. She examined the rock that made the cave up closely, 'It looks like it used to house great magical power until a day ago, does it somehow correlate to the magic wave last night? She grabs a different notebook and scribbled something incoherent inside it.
By now Celestia has calmed down to a reasonable state and walked over to Sunset. 'Dammit me! That was embarrassing! Especially infront of your student!
"So my dear student, what have you gathered thus far?" Sunset didn't turn to her and replied,
"Not much yet my highness, but I have written down interesting discoveries that I have discovered," Sunset handed Celestia her notebook containing details about the cave, Celestia then flipped through the notebook with her magic.
A moment of silence was exchange between the both as Celestia flipped through the pages. Celestia broke the silence thankfully, "Interesting... Are you sure about your discoveries here Sunset?"
"Yes, it may sound outlandish but I do believe it is the most possible theory so far," Sunset replied.
"Hm... Should we take samples of the-"
"No" Sunset cut off Celestia before she could finish her sentence.
...
"Sunset my dear I wasn't talking about the... Excitement on the grass, I was talking about rock samples," Celestia explained. She swore she saw Sunset blush for a split second upon the explanation.
"Well- I mean, yes. I do believe it is the best course of action," Sunset quickly stammered.
"Well Sunset I do trust with the gathering of rock samples, I will inform the search party that we are done here." Celestia said while sneakily pulling out a vile out of her own saddle bad and gathering the excitement on the grass. 'This is for research, nothing else.' After that, she hastily flew away from Sunset and towards the search party, all while giggling and drooling on her self.
"... That wasn't even sneaky Celestia, but I won't stop you from your uh... Research," Sunset replied to no one as Celestia flew towards the sky.
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11877864
You just gave me a new idea for this fanfic, I'm gonna pump it with crack and a little bit of story. Thanks for the idea!
11877880
Oh dang I was hoping for a more serious one not just a crack filled one.
11877913
Well I'll try to make it more serious in the following chapters, but my last fic kinda left me with a sour taste because I kinda suck at it.
I do plan on making it more and more serious as time goes on but I wanna make it where you can read it and not be terribly sad or angry at a character.
Let's just see what I come up with lmao.
11877920
(But in all reality I just suck at making serious scenes lmao)
(You can actually see my attempts of serious at the very start of 1, I'm gonna experiment and see what I like the best.)
I'm kind of digging the borderline Molestia vibes I'm getting from this. Can't wait to see what comes next. =3
11879576
Lmao I thought it'd be funny if the serious and formal Celestia turned into the fanon version but turned up to 100.
Man these girls horny as hell. Still, whatever keeps our crackhead protag from being spotted too quickly.
Bro memorised the full incantation too, bro deserved that win by that alone. It would be funny if his method of acting cool was actually a serious enhancement spell. Anime DOES teach you things!