Okay here's the rundown, me dead, me changeling queen cool powers, need make hive, annoy Celestia. You got it? Of course you do I'm talking to myself. ***DISCLAIMER! CRUDE HUMOR IN THE BEGINNING CHAPTERS!***
**PLEASE COMMENT IF MY DEPICTION OF CHARACTERS FROM THE SHOW ARE INACCURATE!!***
***DISCLAIMER! VERY CRUDE HUMOR IN THE FIRST FEW CHAPTERS!***
My names Rimu and a nuke just got set off in my front yard! Crazy, I know. I'm a pretty big MLP:FIM fan, unfortunately I didn't finish the show before the nuke so I was pretty sad. Well I was until I woke up in a cave with a black screen Infront of me telling me that, "You've been selected for the program! Don't worry your the only one that survived!" Or some bullshit like that, I can't really remember.
Let's just skimp on the details, after I died I got reincarnated as a changeling queen. Thankfully I wasn't Chrysalis, the bad thing is that I may or may not affect the timeline. I haven't watched the episodes where they show the other timelines but I know that they ain't fun.
Well, now you know! My name's Rimu and I'm about to blow your damn minds!
Extra tag is:Random
Sex tag is for innuendos. Heavy reworking of characters. Scratch it, this shits a crack fic with a few bits of actual real story. Im so sorry if you guys got disappointed by the direction of the story, I'll try to do better. Also AIwhisperer you inspired me to put the system in this fic, equis dreams is fucking awesome don't forget that.
“Finally dude!” I said while admiring my masterpiece. “I actually made a fully functioning T.V! Wow!” As if on que the T.V suddenly emitted three sparks.
“Ok maybe not fully functioning,”
My name’s Rimu, I’m a 14 year old highschool student. Life’s been pretty lack luster for the most part. Family died which sucks, all my relatives either died or isn’t in the country, and I’m pretty sure I’m banned from every orphanage in a 10 mile radius. That didn’t stop me though! The government gave me a house and a sweet bike! (Probably because my grandpa was a top general in the army but who cares.)
Im in my 2nd year in HS and I’m feeling pretty good! My grades are okay, my social is non-existent and my bank account is lower than all of my relatives combined. But on the bright side I made a working T.V that’s connected to news channels.
I grabbed a chair from the kitchen and sat down Infront of my magnum opus, I sat there contemplating what I should watch for the day. Recently I’ve been skimping out on school work because It’s easy as shit, so I’ve just started to watch this nifty show called MLP:FIM. It’s a nice children’s show and it’s helped me sleep at night just imagining the characters in scenarios and scenarios.
I usually watch it on my phone but I may or may not have broken it when I saw the generation 5 MLP. I was actually heart broken that the show ended in 2019 (technically). I wanted to see more adventures and um... Rainbow dash and AJ. Look they’re some of my favorites okay? My all time favorite though? It’s of course the one, the only,
THE ALL POWERFUL MAGNIFICENT TRIXIE!
Okay I may be lame for that one but fuck you okay? She’s a cool character. Wait what was I talking about again? Oh right the broken phone.
The new generation of MLP never really interested me as much as G4, it looked cool yes, but it kinda didn’t feel right. The moment I broke my phone I cried like a little bitch since it had my files of the characters in MLP, and probably because that was my only phone. I tried to buy a new one but my bank account said “nope” and slapped me in the face.
“I should really get a job huh,” I thought, staring at the black screen of the T.V infront of me. I made the T.V with scraps of old T.V’s and wires I stole from an orphanage, it was a long and hard journey but it’s gonna pay off. I can watch MLP on this bad boy and drown my problems out.
I looked around for the remote for a moment, finding it on the floor with no back cover and bite marks littering it.
“Oh right I used to eat remotes.” I picked it up, plopped some batteries in and turned on my creation.
“I didn’t want to believe it but the evidence is overwhelming!” Twilight said with vigor.
“You made me look ridiculous!” Rarity said bitc- I mean- Rarity cried out.
“You made m-” Fluttershy tried to speak but was cut off with a sudden alert on the T.V.
“SEEK IMMEDIATE SHELTER, IF YOU ARE SEEING THIS MESSAGE YOU ARE UNDER TREAT OF A NUCLEAR ATTACK! SEEK IMMEDIATE SHELTER!” The T.V annoyingly blaired.
“I hate pranksters, always ruining my day dreaming.” I tried to turn off the T.V and back on again so the message will hopefully disappear, but I was greeted with a not so fun reality when I heard the sirens blair outside.
“SHIT! IT’S REAL?” I shouted. Most of my neighbors started fleeing and looking for the nearby bunker, I however started to gather my DVD collection of MLP:FIM. I was a simple man, and a realistic man. If by some miracle I would survive the nuclear explosion and the inevitable war, it would be worse than just dying on the spot since even if my country won, what would I gain?
Nothing, that’s what.
I gathered my MLP collection and stared at it. I’ve only started to watch the show about a 3 months ago and I’ve never seen the ending yet, unfortunate. I looked on with pity at the people crying outside. I saw families hugging each other and police calming a crowd down. I cried a little to be honest with you, the realization that I would never finish the show, never see the beautiful ponies, and never even watch the finale. It wasn’t fair, but that’s just life, right?
The T.V at this point was playing the national anthem of my country,
“BAYANG MA-” yeah yeah you know the drill. The anthem reminded me that I actually used to make music for the show, tried to atleast. It was kinda my passion to make music and listen to it, yes it sounded terrible but hey I knew how to play a guitar atleast. I turned off the T.V and stared at my reflection.
I can’t even remember the last time I washed my face. I sighed and sat down lazily on the chair.
“God dammit, I just finished my T.V too,” There was no point in trying to fight death, “I wished I could’ve finished collage at least, it was my... Just forget it.”
I looked up to the ceiling if my home. White wooden boards with no other features, just the way I liked it. Deciding that being conscious when the nuke set off was a bad idea, I laid on the floor and closed my eyes with my DVD collection of MLP strewn across around me in a symbol.
It wasn’t a demonic symbol, if I was gonna die I would be fateful to god atleast. It was a made up alphabet I made, the letter I made was the letter “R” for Rimu. The letter looked like an arrow just without the head and body attached, I know creative.
I closed my eyes and just imagined shit as I died, “God if you’re watching me, don’t look at my search history.”
And everything went to black.
Life is never fair, but you can make it fair with a little kindness, remember that Rimu.
... ... ...
H3Y! W#&K U$!
what...
1U#CY Y@O!
what...?
Ahem! I am designated as 31415926535! Or you can me 0!
Am I... Dead?
Not quite! You are dead but not in this world! Quite the opposite actually! You’ve just been “born”!
Wake me back up in 10 minutes.
I rolled around in a hard rocky floor trying to sleep, I then heard another buzz at my side,
Oh no you don’t! Well you can but I don’t want to! Come on, get up!
A black screen suddenly lit up in my face, I tried swatting it away but it only made a buzzing sound, disappeared for a second and went straight back.
AUGHHHH
I slowly opened my eyes fully, I was in a dark cave of some sorts, stalactites and stalagmites all around me slowly dripping a dark green substance, said substance is flowing down to the floor besides me.
Do you want to read the terms and conditions of the system™?
Yes or no?
“...Yes...”
Great! Switching to semi-personality mode to conserve energy! Ahem.
Welcome to the system™! This system’s goal is to spice up your reincarnation! This version of the system is version #09073148553142RMU! This version has been given to you because your past life has either been:
Accidentally ruined! Ruined by another reincarnated (aka a jumper!) Wasn’t fair! Or more!
I groggily looked at the dark box that was spewing absolute nonsense at me, trying to discern if what I’m seeing is reality or a figment of my scarily strong imagination .
This version of the system is what you call: MMORPG! This version will not guide you, but it will have cool powers that you see in your books! Please be warned that the system does not have a personality and you will not be able to form a bond with said system, if the system you currently have has a personality, it will cause you to lose your mind as a personality option is too taxing on any mind, even gods! Please contact @#&$-#& if the system does have a personality! I’m just kidding! If it does have a personality you’re brain would be cooked right about now! If it doesn’t, good! Now that’s the introduction to the system, terms of conditions are!
“Oh come on no don’t -”
WE AT #_&@.INC WILL NOT BE RESPONSIBLE TO ANY DAMAGES TO UNIVERSES OR TIMELINES, WE ALSO NOT BE LIABLE FOR DAMAGES IN THE FOLLOWING:
BRAIN MIND SOUL
AS YOU’VE INSTALLED SYSTEM™ OR SYSTEM.OIS YOU HAVE ALREADY AGREED TO THE TERMS AND CONDITIONS, THE SYSTEM MAY KILL THE USER ON INSTALLATION, IF THIS POSSIBLITY HAPPENS WE ARE NOT LIABLE TO BE SUED! IF THE ORIGINAL UNIVERSE IS CHANGED WE ARE Nblah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah rimu? Blah blah blah blah blah rimuareyoualive? Blah blah blah blah ohdearcelestiapleasetellmeyouralive blah blah pleasedontleaveme blah blah
After a few hours of constant blabbering 0 finally shut up about terms of conditions and displayed,
Please, and thank you for listening! Please enjoy system.ios and have a nice day!
“Oh thank god it’s finished,” I said with a loud sigh after.
Evaluating current state of user... ... ... ... Evaluation: User is not fit for personality mode or semi-personality mode. Evaluating if user is compatible with assistant mode. ... ... ... Evaluation: user is not qualified for assistant mode, but is qualified for game menu mode. Switching to game menu mode for user.
Another black screen replaced the previous one, this time I recognize some words and understand them fully, unlike the mumbojumbo that I barely kept up with a few moments ago. This screen was showing,
Name: Rimu Age: 5 hours (14) Gender: Female (male) Level: 0 Skills: None Love meter: 0%
I squinted to get a better look at the black screen, I jumped as a sudden loud sound rang to the side of me accompanied by another black screen.
Achievement unlocked! Squinting!
I blinked a couple of times after I fully calmed down after the jumpscare. After some thinking I came up with the answer to my predicament,
“Oh I’m dreaming! Well I guess I gotta wake up, I’m gonna be late to school, silly me!” I then punched my face full force, “FUCK! THAT WASN’T A SLAP!” I then rubbed the spot that I punched.
“Wait...” I rubbed the spot again, I noticed my “hand” was curled up like a fist, it was hard but felt buttery smooth for some reason.
I then realized I my vision that was suspiciously good at the dark. I quickly tried to stand up but after a few seconds I ended up plopping right back to the ground with a groan. My “feet” felt hard when I was standing. Then it dawned on me.
“Wait fema- nononononono,” I quickly shoved my “hand” down under and felt a light tingle, “no. No. No. This has to be a j-” my train of thought suddenly stopped as the tingle felt too... Good. I quickly pulled my “hand” and stopped touching the area.
“Shit, I’m a girl now” I said emotionless. A sudden thought came through my mi- wait bad! Stop it Rimu! Don’t play with yourself in a cave! As I tried to derail my teenager thoughts I comprehended my situation.
I’m a girl, in a cave, alone, and horny hurt. Shit did something happen to me? Did someone fucking drug me?! I quickly sat up and did breathing exercises, I looked at my “hands”. They we’re... hooves.
I sat there, looking at my new limbs, I quickly checked my forehead and felt a stick, a horn. Am I... A unicorn? WAIT! I checked my back and low and behold, wings. I sat there, slightly giddy. “Im a alicorn! There’s isnt any other species with a horn AND wings! Im an alicorn! Well except for o-”
“No. Don’t... Do... This... To... Me...” I said slowly and checked my ar- legs again. They. Had. H O L E S
...
I was a changeling, and by the looks of it, a queen changeling. “WAIT!” I checked my mane, of course I had one but the thing I wanted to check was...
The mane was colored blue with a speck of green on the edges. I breathed a heavy sigh of relief when I realized I wasn’t Chrysalis. “So another changeling queen? Were there other’s except for Chrysalis?” I pondered. If there were more other than Chrysalis I wouldn’t know because I didn’t watch S5 beyond. Maybe there more, but maybe Chrysalis killed all of them? Wait... What year am I in?! Please don’t tell me im in the smack dab middle of S3!
I quickly looked around the cave, I felt a light breeze to my left. The exit. I quickly ra- gall- ran to the exit.
The exit was only a couple of meters away from my resting spot. I quickly made my way outside and looked up to the sky, it was night, perfect. I looked straight towards the moon and I saw... The mare on the moon... This was before S1! And by the looks of it, before the sonic rainboom! YES! I WAS SAFE!
I laid down on the green grass below me, I hadn’t noticed but I was actually flying when I looked at the moon. A sense of relief washed over me.
I was in MLP, that was for sure. Right now I was before the rainboom in the timeline, so no changeling purge just yet. I felt AWESOME! Who wouldn’t be? Being reincarnated into the objectively best universe to be in?
I smiled as I looked at the sky. My mind drifted and went into that direction again.
“Fine! Maybe just once... or twice” I laid on the grass and once again put my hoof down under, not panicking this time. “hgn~” I moaned as my hoof touched and slowly massaged my-
Achievement unlocked! Stress relief!
”Hah... Hmmm~!”
Princess Celestia was having a nice cup of tea with her student, Sunset Shimmer. They were both talking about the usual, how their day was going, any special events, promising students in the Canterlot school for gifted unicorns, the usual.
While both of them were talking a sudden wave of energy washed over them. Both Celestia and Sunset jumped the instant they felt it.
It wasn’t magic they felt, it more like a birth of a new alicorn. ‘ That’s strange’ Sunset thought.
While Sunset pondered why she felt the wave, Celestia suddenly stood up and looked around the garden.
“Uh, princess?” Sunset asked, worried.
“You felt that too my student?” Celestia quickly questioned.
“Yes, I felt it too. I was just po-” Sunset was about to continue until Celestia interrupted her.
“A changeling queen was just born,”
“What? A changeling queen?” Sunset replied, “I thought you said the changeling queens went extinct!”
“That’s what I thought, my student.”
“So another one was born after, what. 500 years?!” Sunset was starting to look nervous.
“Yes, and it seems like the energy is being hidden as we speak,” Celestia then trotted to away from their table in the garden, “and it isn’t getting hidden by the queen.”
Celestia tried to think, the last time a queen was born was when Chrysalis was born. Back then Celestia felt a wave of energy too, but it was much, MUCH stronger than this wave. ’Was it just a failed spell?’
Celestia kept and kept pondering, until she hit a metal pole. She then swiftly blacked out.
You know you should probably check if what you're eating is edible.
-Common sense
A shock of pain flowed through my body. A black blur was infront of me, towering over me like I was a filly.
"-light! A- oka-?"
I can barely hear what the blur was saying but I could feel my voice trying to reply the blur. I tried to stop myself but I failed,
"Y- I'm o-ay," I'm not okay! Why did I say that? And why can I barely hear myself?
"Go- c- yo- stan-?" The blur out stretched it's hoof to mine. I forced my body to stop but I again failed, my hoof already grabbing it's hoof. Before I could chastise myself, I felt an unbearable heat coming from behind the blur.
"-MU!"
'The birds were singing, the flowers were blooming, on days like these, kids like me, should really do homework. '
I sat at a flat meadow, grass stretching on for miles. A cold chilly breeze flowed and gave me comfort, these rare moments in my life were precious.
"Man it's nice to touch grass once and a while. I wish this dream never e-"
SCOOTTTLLLAAAAAAND FOREVEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
HOLY SHIT
I quickly sat upright and my head somehow collided with a conveniently placed tree branch, completely detaching it from the tree, "FUCK!"
New skill unlocked!
Best hoof skills!
I rubbed my aching head and looked at the screen infront of me, "Oh come on if my first skill is masturbating I'm gonna be pissed." As I swatted the screen away, another screen quickly replaced it.
Name: Rimu Age: 1.12 days (14) Gender: Female (male) Level: 0 Skills: Best hoof skills! (Lv: MAX) Love meter: 0%
"Oh you gotta be kidding me! Max?! I only played with my self for- wait how long was I doing it for?" I'm starting to reconsider my mental health right about now. I uh, played with myself for so long I somehow got a skill and got it to max level! HOW LONG DID I DO IT FOR?!
I quickly stashed that train of thought in the 'worry about later' shelf and checked my surroundings.
I was still outside of the cave. I'm starting to seriously think about my mental health. My sleeping area probably smelled like a teenager's wet dream, I'm incredibly surprised no one stumbled across my uh, understanding of myself.
"I should really drink water," I slowly stood up and smelled my surroundings, bad idea. I almost puked and gagged at the smell around me, it smelled exactly what I thought but add a little bit more excitement to the mix, "maybe taking a bath is my top priority right now."
I held my breath as I walked around the outside of the cave, to the right there was a forest, to my left a dangerous and very steep valley. Tough choices I know. I quickly trotted away from the now radioactive entrance of the cave and towards the forest to my right. Hopefully no one notices my science project in front of the cave-
Achievement unlocked! A little surprise-SHUT IT!
'Ok Rimu, calm down. You need to take very large chill pill right now.' I breathed in, and out. 'Ok, I'm calm. First objective for the day, gotta orient myself.'
'I am Rimu, I am a man, I am a perfectly sane person,' Good. I need to really stop playing with myself.
Ok second objective, figure out how this system works and how to summon it on command. 'System!'
... ... ...
Ok, maybe... 'Menu!'
... ... ...
Oh come on, really? Ok think brain think. What did the system say to me yesterday?
change in timelines- no- #0907- no- Wait! Wait... No that isn't it either. Maybe the part where it fries your brain? No that's dumb, maybe the system had a name. Okay think about all the names a system can have, sage? No that's from an anime. Uh, sys? No that sounds like a medical term. Come on think! Ok maybe-
ROARRRRRRRRR
"Hu-wh-eh-y-HUH!?" I twisted my neck behind me to see where the noise cane from.
'It was a hydra. Of course it was a hydra what did you expect another mantico-'
"HOLY JESUS!" I jumped in the nick of time as the hydra swung it's tail, barely missing me by an inch.
"OK NO MORE DAY DREAMING RIMU TIME TO GET YOU ASS OUT OF HERE!" I quickly galloped away from the hydra, as I did I swore I heard a Looney tunes sound as I ran.
The hydra was hot on my trail. The moment I pass a tree, it passes two. The moment I jumped a gap, it fucking flies. 'How in the bumblejesus does that thing fly?! Does it even have wings? Wait, I can fly!' I tried to flap my wings but to my surprise I shot up 20 feet of the ground, and promptly tumbled back down.
"DAG NABIT!" I hit multiple branches on the way down to the ground, all causing minor wounds on my body (somehow).
"WHY AM I SO UNLUCKY!?" I stood back up and looked behind me.
"Huh, didn't remember a giant eyeball behind me,"
... ... ...
"SHIT!" I tried to run away but tripped on a small pebble and fell on my ass.
One of the heads of the hydra was now laughing manically, the one that was Infront of me was salivating a whole damn waterfall, the other one was asleep.
"Look here mr. Hydra, I may look delicious but all your gonna taste is- YOUCH!" I rolled to my left as the hydra tried to bite me, "OKAY PLAN B!"
"Come on come on come on!" I yelled as I tried to use my magic, my horn glowed for a split second but was extinguished by the saliva of the hydra, "Ew..."
I was promptly eaten whole.
Achievement unlocked! First brush of death!
New skill had been unlocked!
O V E R D R I V E !
As the hydra ate the changeling queen whole, one of the heads spoke up in annoyance directed to the middle head, "Hey Midus maybe don't eat our meal whole?"
"Pshh! It's still going in our stomach either way!" Midus replied to Leftus.
"Can y'all just shut up? One of us is actually trying to get a goodnight's sleep," Rightus replied tiredly.
"Oh shut it Rightus! It's your fault you can't sleep!" Leftus angrily said.
"Uh guys?"
"Well maybe if somehydra shut up I could actually sleep!" Rightus replied, now awake.
"Uh I feel weird guys?"
"Well boo- fucking- hoo Rightus! Maybe you should get our mommy while your at it-"
"GUYS!" Midus yelled at the top of their lungs, "I think something's wrong with what we ate."
"Nothing's wrong Midus stop overeacti-" Leftus tried to say until he was cut off with a weird sensation, "Oh something's definitely wrong."
"Midus spit it out!" Rightus said.
"Im trying!" Gagging, Midus tried in vain to puke up what they ate.
All of the heads noticed as their stomach started to glow a weird mixture of blue and red and started to heat up, rapidly.
Rimu's pov.
"This shits disgusting!" I murmured under my breath. I was still somehow alive after the hydra ate me, but I wasn't complaining. It beats studying and memorizing the entire periodic table, bleugh.
"Wait! Now I remember!"
"ZERO!" A sudden menu flashed infront of me,
Name: Rimu Age: 1.5 days (14) Gender: Female (male) Level: 0 Skills: Best hoof skills! (Lv: MAX) OVERDRIVE! (Lv: 0) Love meter: 0%
"Nice. Okay, everything's nor- wait overdrive? What's that?." Another screen suddenly flashed to the right of the last one.
SKILL: OVERDRIVE!
This skill will multiply your current base stats two fold! Not only does it twofold your stats it will also let you use magic even if you don't know any! It comes with a catch however! The catch being using up all of your love meter in the process! The moment the love meter reaches 0% OVERDRIVE will stop. It can be extended however with calories! Please refer to the skill guide for more info.
LEVEL: 0 MASTERY: Newbie
"Okay... That's kinda overpowered," I quipped, "So how do you use it?"
One idea formed in my mind, an incredibly dumb, and stupid idea.
My face felt hot as I recounted my version of the speech,
...
"Nine ropes. Polarized lights. Sunrise and sunset. Death march. Red and blue."
"Imaginary technique."
SKILL: OVERDRIVE! ACTIVATED
"Hollow Purple"
Achievement unlocked! Pu#@$!
The achievement flashed in and out as the ball of pure magic hovered infront of me and suddenly launching forward with sky splitting speeds.
"Cool..." 'And embarrassing'
I stood there for a moment, the Hydra's stomach being torn apart and blasted into the sun. Blood covered my face as the hydra fell over, dead.
... ... ...
"God dammit I just killed a creature,"
Achievement unlocked! Taste of death!
A little jingle then played accompanying the pop up. Really? A jingle? wait Rimu focus! I just did a hollow purple and killed a hydra, all with a lv: 0 skill! This might be a little broken.
A lump on my throat placed me back in reality. I just killed another sentient being. One that talks and has a personality. Shit.
"... I'll just... Repress this memory..." Like how I always do. I climbed out of the hole that I made and looked out at the world. A good chunk of the forest is more red than a ruby and more slimy than my-
Level up! Congratulations you are now... Level 1! You have now passed the tutorial stage! With this you have unlocked...
The skill guide book! Attributes! Memory storage! Achievement page! And more!
... That's convenient. Like really convenient.
I stepped off the hydra and made my way to the three heads of said hydra. Yep definitely dead alright. I started to walk away from the scene until I heard a distinct, and very concerning sound. That sound being my stomach grumbling.
"Well shit," I slowly turned my head to the dead hydra, and gulped loudly, "I'm so sorry Mr. Hydra, I really am..."
Both Celestia and her student Sunset accompanied a dispatched search team to look for the magic wave that occured at night. They traced the magic signature to a cave just beyond the valley infront of them.
"Is this really where the signature originated your highness?" Sunset asked with confusion, "I mean, I don't doubt you at all princess but you and I can smell that right?"
Sunset looked for Celestia for answers but was rightfully confused when she saw Celestia drooling like there was a cake of magnificent prepositions in her view. Sunset looked at the cave and back at Celestia. The realization dawned on her. "Celestia, when was your last uh, time of the year?" Celestia only focused at the smell and drooled even more.
"Oh dear Celestia" As she said this Celestia broke out of her trance and hastily wiped the drool out of her face.
"I- uh- yes Sunset? What was your question?" Celestia said with a very obvious fake smile.
"Nothing your highness, just ignore it." Sunset face hoofed when Celestia wasn't looking, "So what will we do now princess?"
"Fly of course! Here, ride on my back." Celestia said while lowering herself so Sunset can ride her.
"What about the search team behind us?"
"They have done they're job. Bedsides you and I can smell that, we cannot risk a stallion from the search team getting... Hypnotized," Celestia said while looking towards the cave, slightly drooling.
"Uh huh..." Sunset said with indifference. Sunset may not have experience with love, since she was still at the young age of 10 and a half. But she atleast knew what Celestia was thinking, since her teacher was drooling in more than one spo-
'Focus Sunset! Don't look there.' She mentally slapped herself for the blunder and hopped on Celestia's back. Celestia then stood up and flew over the valley separating them from the cave.
***
They landed with the grace of a new born pegasus as Celestia tumbled as they landed, seemingly getting distracted by the ever increasing sent. Celestia was more than a thousand years old so you would think she'd be immune to hormones but you would be wrong. Sunset could practically hear her teachers thoughts as she got off her back and onto the slightly wet grass. She held back her puke and turned around to her teacher, she then quickly turned back and ignored what her teacher was doing at that moment. 'I need therapy after this.'
Sunset calmly rummaged through her saddle bag that she brought and pulled out a notebook containing the research that she did before coming here and scribbled down below it,
Changeling queen excitement is very potent, do not take samples because of Celestia. And closed it. She then walked over to the cave of interest, ignoring Celestia's uh, funny noises. She examined the rock that made the cave up closely, 'It looks like it used to house great magical power until a day ago, does it somehow correlate to the magic wave last night? She grabs a different notebook and scribbled something incoherent inside it.
By now Celestia has calmed down to a reasonable state and walked over to Sunset. 'Dammit me! That was embarrassing! Especially infront of your student!
"So my dear student, what have you gathered thus far?" Sunset didn't turn to her and replied,
"Not much yet my highness, but I have written down interesting discoveries that I have discovered," Sunset handed Celestia her notebook containing details about the cave, Celestia then flipped through the notebook with her magic.
A moment of silence was exchange between the both as Celestia flipped through the pages. Celestia broke the silence thankfully, "Interesting... Are you sure about your discoveries here Sunset?"
"Yes, it may sound outlandish but I do believe it is the most possible theory so far," Sunset replied.
"Hm... Should we take samples of the-"
"No" Sunset cut off Celestia before she could finish her sentence.
...
"Sunset my dear I wasn't talking about the... Excitement on the grass, I was talking about rock samples," Celestia explained. She swore she saw Sunset blush for a split second upon the explanation.
"Well- I mean, yes. I do believe it is the best course of action," Sunset quickly stammered.
"Well Sunset I do trust with the gathering of rock samples, I will inform the search party that we are done here." Celestia said while sneakily pulling out a vile out of her own saddle bad and gathering the excitement on the grass. 'This is for research, nothing else.' After that, she hastily flew away from Sunset and towards the search party, all while giggling and drooling on her self.
"... That wasn't even sneaky Celestia, but I won't stop you from your uh... Research," Sunset replied to no one as Celestia flew towards the sky.
-Every single person who has to deal with bad customers
I opened my eyes, I could barely see anything. My body feels odd, like really odd. My hooves feel like noodles taped onto my body, my head feels airy and lucid. Was this another dream?
"Hey uh, you look like you drank a little too much. You alright?" It was the same voice as the dark blur from my last dream, and like the last one I could my voice come out of my throat forcefully.
"yeheh! Ah'm ay okary! Gib me anather won!" I was definitely drunk, why was I drunk? I never drank this much apple cider before.
"I'm not gonna serve you another drink, you are completely drunk um,"
"-light! Tas may mane!"
"Look I'll see you out myself Ms. -light, where do you live?"
"Way dew yew wana noe zat?" The more J listen to myself the more I get embarrassed.
"You are in no shape to go to your home,"
"Ay noe I look magnificent but I like mare's more ohcay? Yew lewk cute don't get mi rong," Wait I don't like mare's more! What was my drunk self saying?!
"Ma'am you look like a drunken hobo, no offense." Ow. I may be running from the royal guard but I still take care of my looks!
"Offence taken! Hay, weight, yew lewk familiar," Wait he does? "Wait. You're..."
"Uh...?"
I felt my horn light up and everything went black with a resounding thump.
CHOMP CHOMP
"Throughout heaven and earth, I alone am the hungy one." I said while chomping on the last piece of the hydra. Poor Mr. Hydra, you will definitely be forgotten.
As I cleaned myself up or tried to atleast, I decided to check more of my nifty cool powers. "Zero!"
Name: Rimu Age: 1.65 days (14) Gender: Female (male) Level: 0 Skills: Best hoof skills! (Lv: MAX) OVERDRIVE! (Lv: 0) Basic magic (Lv: 0) Love meter: 0%
Now, I know all of you are very curious about my first skill (I am too) but I think the skill it self is uh, self explanatory to say the least. So for now let's just avoid that, anywho what I'm kinda curious about is 'basic magic'
Basic magic
Let's you use magic as long as you learn how to cast it, it also makes you a very fast learner (unless your stubborn).
Will upgrade to Intermediate magic with a revelation.
Level: 0 Mastery: basic
Wow who would've guessed. 'not me'.
"Aughhh I'm full as shit dude," I said tiredly as I plopped on the grass. Eating an entire Hydra is no easy task, especially if the Hydra got blasted in the stomach. Seriously who did that? Oh wait! I did.
"Still need to clean up though," Yeah no kidding Sherlock you look like absolute shit, "Hey! Who's idea was it to blast the Hydra's stomach in the first place?" You, dumbass. The nerve of this guy I swear.
... ... ...
I'm slowly loosing my mind, I need to find a town pronto. I swear one more day out here with this Idiot inside my brain- hey! -Im gonna actually blow. As they say, righty tighty lefty probably cool-y! Nobody says that. Shut up me.
I walked to my left, hoping to god or some deity that there's a river up ahead. I mean, what's the worse that can happen that hasn't already happened?
...
Wow even other me didn't find that funny. 'Dude I really can't talk to you if you're focusing on something you know? You literally just made me up on the spot.
...
Wow I'm really depressed huh yup.
"Okay okay, I've had these dreams for a week straight now. What do they mean?" I paced around in my makeshift house made out of wooden planks that I stole and a tent that I borrowed from a dead pony.
"Think! They all revolve in meeting something. That something is either a really big changeling or an alicorn since in all of my dreams, the pony had both wings and a horn." It didn't make sense! Why would a changeling try and find me?! Well technically I found it-
Wait. I get it now! I need to find the changeling or alicorn! "Yes! I figured it out!" Now the question is what do I need to do when I find the pony?
In all of my dreams the pony either towered over me, or talking to me, or both. It feels like I'm missing something. In one dream I seemed to know the pony, the other I was drunk and didn't know the pony. "AUGHH! WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME?! I JUST WANT TO ERASE CU-"
*Clop clop*
Shit did the guard find me? I just set this tent up!
"Hello? Excuse me but you can't set up camp here," The pony outside politely said.
"I- uh- nobodies home!" fuck.
"Uh, okaay?" Holy shit that worked?
After a few seconds of silence, I heard the door to my tent unzip. "Shit"
"Uh miss I-" The stallion tried to speak but I cut him off with a magical blast straight to his nose, knocking him back a good few meters.
"Time to run!" I quickly packed my tent up with precision and booked it to the other town I saw while crossing the river to here. Hopefully that town is a little more forgiving. Hopefully.
"SOMEONE GET A DOCTOR! HE'S BLEEDING!" A mare shouted behind me, nice distraction lady! I won't erase your cutie mark for now.
"I really need to drink a gallon of cider right about now"
"I wonder if I could do more anime references- WOAH!" I flail my hooves around as I almost fall into the fastest running river I've ever seen. No joke the river is gushing with water, I'm scared for my life just standing near it.
"Survival guides always said to follow a river down stream if you're lost, why not confirm if the guides are true?" To be honest I kinda wanna ride the river downstream, sounds fun. Eh why not.
I put my hoof into the river to test how fast the waters going and low and behold it's going pretty darn fast, "Fortune favors the fortunate!" I quickly jump into the river and hope for good luck. Ps: don't ride in river's there's rocks below the water.
I quickly galloped away with my tent hovering closely behind me, multiple guards are chasing me down for my revolutionary plastic surgery techniques that I'd done on the poor stallion.
"Hey! Come back here!" One of the guards says, only a fool would do that!
I quickly galloped into the forest. The guards stopping just before entering. 'cowards.' I ran and I ran, only stopping besides a river for a quick moment to breathe.
Then I heard it, the creature that's plaguing my dreams for a week.
I look one with wide eyes as I saw a huge changeling tumbling down the river and away cursing like no tomorrow. I finally saw my target. I can finally stop this horrible dreams and get on with my life! I quickly tried to grab the changeling with my magic but failed as the changeling was too fast riding down the river.
"How fast is that water going?"
Ok noted don't ride rivers next time. "Ow, ouch, oof, shit, UOHG OK THAT ONE HURT," I mean, a bunch of pointy rocks getting dragged across your hard ass would hurt no matter the person. It also didn't help that I could hear a distinct screech coming from my flank.
As I rode the river I saw what looked like a pink pony with a robe covering her face and most of her body. "That's weird I don't remember a pony who looked like that other than Cadenza." Look Cadenza rolls off the tongue more okay?
Well there was one other pony that I didn't get to see in the animated flesh, but that couldn't be right? Didn't she have a cult or something? No way she would be in a forest running away from bootleg royal guards.
"Eh brain put that one in the 'not my problem' shelf," You're the boss.
After a grueling few minutes (I gotta tell ya, the ass scratch was not fun.) I came across a shabby looking town at the right of the river, "Hey they listened to me nice!"
I quickly grabbed onto a big ass rock and tried to stop my self from going down the river. The rock almost came right off but luckily I got out of the river in time. Kuya kim would be proud *sniff*.
Dude most readers won't even get that reference. What the fuck do you mean reader's I'm fighting for my dignity here! Augh, nevermind.
"*COUGH COUGH* Oaghhhh I think the river water had shit in it *COUGH COUGH*" Disgusting. Anyways, I haven't completely forgotten what species am I so yeah, how do I uh. Change forms again?
Well this is a problem. "Okay time to just wear a fedora and hope for the best!" I pull out a fedora out of my mane and a trench coat to go with it.
...
"Did... Did I just do a pinkie?" Eh if it works it works amIright?
Achievement unlocked! Eldritch monstrosity!
Im gonna ignore that.
New skill! THE MOST AWESOMENESS SUPER DUPER COOL NEW AND IMPROVED PINKIE STASH!!!!!1!1!1 (Or if your lame just ASDP stash.)
Skill: THE MOST AWESOMENESS SUPER DUPER COOL NEW AND IMPROVED PINKIE STASH!!!!!1!1!1 (Or if your lame just ASDP stash.)
Oh wow! Is this what the fancy call a 'game system?' WOW! SO EPICLY COOL! Oh right I'm supposed to explain my nifty skill right? Well my patented pinkie stash works like any other inter-dimentional would! It works because it's pinkie! Anyways you can store anything you like inside my nifty stash! Cupcakes, cakes, balloons, all of Equestria, Twilight's romance novels and Dashie's porn stash! Oops! Im getting off track, sorry! Anyways you can store everything you want without question! The only rule is either be me or be as super duper awesome and funnies as me! And don't question it! That's the most important part!
Lv: Who cares! Just party! Mastery: FUN FUN FUN!!!!!1!1!1
And that. Especially that.
I galloped as fast as I can after the changeling. Unfortunately the river was too fast and I couldn't catch up before the changeling went out of peripheral vision. "CELESTIA DAMN IT!"
Well that... Sucks. Let's just hope the changeling stops at the town nearby. Now that the changeling doesn't look like a black blur, I could see that the changeling had a mane, that only means one thing.
It's a changeling queen. Why was a queen here of all places? And why doesn't it have changeling guards? So many questions, all gonna answered if I catch that ling.
***
I arrive at the town named, 'Gravel mane's' Who comes up with these names anyhow?
I discreetly set up my tent in a dark alley, first I need to check if anything was lost during the chase.
Notebook: check. Water jug: check. Hay bars: ch- oh come on! My hay bars... They're gone... DAMN YOU CELESTIAAAAAAAAAA!
ACHOO!!!
"That's why you don't put your muzzle into wet grass Celestia," Sunset calmly explained to a bed ridden Celestia. How did this happen? Well after Celestia's covert mission to get a sample of changeling queen excitement, she decided to sniff the wet grass more closely, for research purposes, of course.
"I now my student, you have been lecturing me for the past 4 hours now," Celestia got a little too excited and accidentally sniffed wet grass into her lungs. And that's pretty much the story on how this is happening.
"Still, I need to test you my highness so this never happens again!" Sunset exclaimed while pulling out a test sheet out of her saddle bag.
"Sunset-"
"No! You must learn teacher!" Celestia only sighed and let her student test her. Even though she doesn't like this whole ordeal, her student does, and that's all she cares about.
"Okay Celestia, question 1. What is the date of a normal ponies heat?"
"The date is April 1-10," Celestia may be an idiot but she atleast knows this.
"Good! Now question 2. When is the date of an alicorn's heat?"
"There is no date Sunset, I have already told you." Celestia wasn't lying per say, more like hiding information.
"That's a lie and you know it teacher!"
"Fine, you win-" Celestia almost giggled like a madmare at the face of delight her student was showing but held it in for now, "- only to get you off of this topic. The date of an alicorn's heat is not entirely consistent. Multiple factors determine the month and how long it lasts or even the intensity. Normally, in a perfect world, an alicorn's heat is in December all the way to February. But the older the alicorn, the less likely they will to be in heat, but the harder the heat hits."
Sunset was furiously scribbling down this new information, Celestia could see pencil shavings getting thrown like ragdolls all around the room. Celestia tried to continue her explanation until a sudden... feeling dawned on her as she remembered the vile of excitement she had grabbed.
"Sunset."
"..."
"Sunset my dear?"
"... Yes your highness?"
"Could you... Leave the room for the day?"
"Uh, why your high-" Sunset then looked at the now sweating Celestia. Both of Celestia's hooves where no where in sight and her blanket was rather...
"... Are you serious Celestia?"
"Look! It's my body's needs Sunset!"
"..."
"Sunset?"
"I wish I had a camera right now to embarrass you."
"What?"
"Nothing Celestia," Sunset calmly stood up and opened the door to Celestia's chambers, "please if you can. Don't be so loud? My bedroom is just across here you know?"
"I will try... My... Student..." Celestia's voice went quieter and quieter, almost as if she- really? Im not even out of the room yet!
"Celestia I'm not out of the room yet,"
"Please... Go... Quickly..."
Sunset only sighed and went out of the door. Celestia was now giggling and drooling on her self yet again.
"I've been waiting for this for the past 4 hours!" She quickly pulled out the vile and poured it into a small handkerchief. She then- hey wait isn't this supposed to be my story? Why is this just Celestia clop now? I want to get clop too! Wait, I do get clop? Why didn't you say so! In a few chapters? Aw man... Ahem. Anyways.
Celestia slowly hovered the handkerchief above her snout and said some... Questionable things that are not suitable to write. I'll clue you in the best of my abilities.
"Give it to m-! - --ed -t! -lea--! --ck! Hm~! Oh ye-" Yeah no I'm not gonna write that. Sorry mate.
**NOW EDITED BECAUSE I FORGOT MY STORY HAPPENED BEFORE THE RAINBOOM! STARLIGHT WILL NOW BE 14-16! RETCON OVER!***
??? Pov
"My... Delicious hay bars..." I whispered while trotting through the shabby town. Yes I was still sulking. No I will not stop. I came across a bar of some sorts but I ignored it for now, since I was broke. I have not forgotten my reason to coming here of course, this little walk around town can help me greatly in locating the changeling queen. The changeling queen will most likely be disguised, maybe as a stallion or a mare. This was gonna be tough, I don't know anything about anypony in this town, so I can't really discern if one pony was a changeling or not. I could use magic, however my magic can only do so much (also it hurts the target).
There were so much area's that the ling can hind and escape from my grasp. Only tine will tell when or how I capture the ling because I KNOW I will catch her, with enough time. I could do this because I, am STAR-
*Clank*
"Oh! Sorry!" The mare shouted. I then promptly passed out from getting hit by a pan.
"Just... My... Luck..."
I arrive at the shabby town. I look up at the sign above me, I then slowly realize that I cannot read a single fucking letter from the sign, "Of course I can't read..."
Just my luck! Now I need to learn how to read. 'Aughhhhhhhhh'. This might throw a wrench into my lunchbox.
My plan that I made in a record time of 3 minutes was to get a job as bartender of some sorts, this job was very important because I could gain easy love from the surrounding ponies. Or at least that's what I planned, who knows it might go terribly!
I started to walk into town at a calm pace. As I walked by most ponies only glanced over to me and went back to what they we're doing before, some looked at me puzzled, one just stared at me blankly and shrugged. Seems like my epicly cool disguise works. Still not used to pinkie talk though.
As I walked I came across a bar and decided to go inside. Inside was what you would expect. Lots of tables, and lots of ponies drinking their lives away. I looked over to the counter at the end of the room and saw a stallion having a mental break down.
"I can't do this bucking shit anymore! Every day there's something that happens here! Yesterday there was a fucking sex pit here Celestia dammit! Fuck this SHIT!" The stallion then threw the drink he was holding, shattering it on another stallion, "I BUCKING QUIT!" He then stormed out of the bar and past me.
'Well that was way easier than I would've thought.' I really thought I needed to kidnap that guy and throw him in the forest. Guess not.
I saw what I could assume to be the manager of the bar come out from the back and gave me a glance. He looked at me for a good few seconds, sighed, then threw me a pair of sunglasses.
"Pays' a bit an hour, get an apron from the back and start tending to the drunks." He said as he went to the poor stallion that was hit by the glass that the bartender threw. I looked at him quizzically for a second and a half, "What? I know already that you want work. Just don't buck up like the last guy," He said while wiping the beer out of the bleeding stallion and escorted him to the back.
"Well I guess you're right," I said. 'Wow no check up? No test if I can read? Neat'
Achievement unlocked! A bit too many!
Oh shut it I deserve a bit or two. Anyways I did as I was told and went over to the back. A couple aprons where hanging on a wooden plank so I just grabbed one, put it on and went over to the counter to start my new job as a bartender. What's the worst that can happen?
I rub my head softly as I wake up, still on the street, "I'm so tired of this bullshit," It wasn't even funny at this point. As much as I want to just kill the pony who did this to me, I really don't want another charge plastered on my already long enough list. It was already almost dark out at this point, and I was really thirsty.
I grabbed my canteen from my saddlebag and tried to drink from it. It was of course empty.
*Pop!* *Crumple*
The canteen suddenly stopped existing and I don't know who did it, maybe only the most beautiful mare maybe?
...
I really need a drink. Fortunately I remembered a bar that I passed by not long ago. Only a couple drinks, a couple.
I arrive at the bar, gently opening the door and walking inside. There were multiple stallions and mares chatting about, clearly drunk. I went to the counter at the end of the room ad sat down on a bar stool. There was a black coated stallion operating the counter, he was cleaning out a ping with a table cloth. I couldn't help but stare at him for a moment.
"Oh! Hello, what can I get you today?" The stallion said. I examined him further, he had a fedora atop his head with a horn slightly peeking out, he also had trench coat covering most of his body and finally an apron covering the fron of his body.
"Just a pint of cider please," I said tiredly. I can't believe I'm actually doing this. I mean, me? Drinking? Getting drunk? It's a waste of time! But I feel like I need this. So I silenced my egotistical side of me and waited for the pint.
***
A few moments later the stallion hovered a pint of apple cider and I picked it up and drank it down.
"AH! That hit the spot!" I burped loudly as the stallion tended to the other customers, "Hey!" I said. The stallion promptly walked over to me, "Another please!"
***
"Then I blasted him away with my magicz!" The stallion listened passively as he filled another pint with cider.
"Then what did you after?" The stallion asked as he hoofed me the pint. I drank the pint so quickly, "This ciders sow good, hewy stally?"
"That's not my name but yeah?"
"Can you tell me how they made this stuff? It sowwwwww gewd!"
"I think it's just cider,"
"Cider doesn't taste dis gewd!"
"Really?"
"Yeah! Are you living under a tree or something?"
"I wished, also I never had cider before so yeah," This stallion? Haven't had cider? The worst lie I've ever heardz!
"Pshh, stop with the excuses, just tell me how you do it?"
"Well, I just pour the cider into the pint, that's all," Liesz! All liez!
"Come on! Just tellz mes!"
"Im serious! I don't know why it tastes so good for you,"
You know... This stallion looks so... Handsome. With his black coat, his blue cerulean eyes, his black horn on top of his head. He's so adorable when flustered too!
"Maybe you can tellz me if I did a little..." I hovered my hoof around my flank, "Something?"
There! I saw him blush! Finally! Now all I have to do is- "No thanks."
Wha? "Whatz do you mean no?"
"Look your drunk okay? Not gonna take you up on that offer."
This. Buckin. Goody tooshu bitch. I just offered him the prettiest mare around and he DECLINES?! He's either oblivious or buckin gay!
"Whas do you mean no? Just look as me!" I gestured at my body.
"Not really much to look at," *GASP!* I may be running from the royal guard but I kept up my appearance! This purple and blue mane doesn't clean easily you know?
"Psh! What, do you not like mare's like me?"
"Yes I do, but that isn't the problem. Hey you look like you've had too much to drink, you alright?" Im as good as you can get! Thank so much for askin.
"Yeah! Just... Gib me another!" Come on one more pint!
"Look, you aren't gonna get more cider okay? You're too drunk," This bucking bull! "where is your house, you're not fit to walk."
"Y do u wans to nos zat?"
"To make sure you don't peel over and die," The quippy type huh? Just the stallion I want!
"Yours cutez and all but I likes marez more, you're cutes and all, no offenze." What do you think of that huh?
"No offense, you look like a drunken hobo."
...
"Puh- lease! I lookz sow mush besser than yous do pall!" I check him over again, I wonder what he could do in...
Wait. Blue cerulean eyes, a horn, black coat, a blue mane with green at the ends of his hair. Now that I look more closely... This buck isn't a stallion! She's...
"Wait... You look familiar,"
"Uh?"
"You're..."
It's her.
This is getting a little too heated. The mare's just looking straight at me with her purple eyes, those hypnotizing purple ey-
Achievement unlocked! Still a stallion at heart!
Snap out of it me! This mare's drunk and clearly not thinking straight! Gotta focus. But those eyes- No! Not happening!
Her purple mane with blue streaks are really tantalizing...
Achievement unlocked! Love at first sight!
Oh come on she isn't that... Pretty...
"Wait you look familiar," Wait huh? I kinda zoned out.
"Uh?"
"Wait... You're..." Uh did I meet her earlier? The only pony I met before going into town was that pink coated mare with a torn cloth around her body and purple eyes. Now that I look at her she has a torn cloth too-
Wait. No. She... Isn't supposed to be here...
Starlight?
She isn't supposed to be here! And last I checked her coat was light purple! Not pink! Wait her pink is light purple, am I blind?
While thinking about how I just fell in love with Starlight fucking glimmer of all ponies, I saw her horn glow brightly. 'SHIT!'
I instinctively ducked, luckily too! Since she blasted the entire wall behind me to smithereens! Also the counter.
"YOU!" Starlight shouted. Why is she pissed at me?! Was it because I didn't want to buck her?!
"I uh- yes?" i said, now on the ground, trying to crawl away.
"TELL ME WHY YOU KEEP APPEARING IN MY DREAMS!" Huh? What was this bitch talking about-
I was suddenly flung into the air with force, destroying the ceiling of the bar and scattering clouds above me. I flapped my bug wings and stopped mid air. I tried to catch my breath until I suddenly heard a popping noise behind me.
*Pop!*
I looked above me, only to see Starlight with her back leg out trying to kick me down. I quickly blocked her kicked and soared back to the ground with a thud.
"BUCK! That hurt-" *cough cough*
Shit. Im coughing up blood.
*Pop!*
Starlight was now grabbing me with her hoof and looked me straight in the eyes, her eyes full of rage.
"TELL. ME." She said gritting her teeth.
"I DON'T KNOW!"
"HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW? THIS BUCKING INTERACTION WE HAD WAS PRE MEDITATED WASN'T IT?"
"What-"
"ME GETTING DRUNK, TRYING TO COURT YOU? IT WAS ALL IN MY DREAMS YOU BUCK!" She smacked me with her hoof with full force. I coughed up more blood, some of it getting on her outstretched leg and body.
A ball of red magic suddenly appeared on my hoof, on instinct I pushed the red ball and smacked Starlight in the chest full force with it. She flung into the sky, blood gushing out of her mouth.
'This bucking queen was strong as horseapples! She wasn't this strong earlier!' That bitch was holding back her power on me! And what was that ball of magic? I didn't even see her horn glow! It felt so powerful and completely full with magic! If I hadn't casted a shield I would've broken all of my ribs! Or worse, died!
"hahahahah... HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!" She's laughing!? Is this some kind of joke to her!?
I saw the changeling put her arms together and a smile graced the lings lips, "I don't know why you're doing this Starlight but I don't care. You want a death sentence? ILL GIVE YOU ONE!"
I couldn't even see her fly towards me, but in a quarter of a second she was already snout to snout with me, her grin still wide as ever. I felt a cut on my cheek, and another cut, and another and another and-
I casted so many shields, as many shields as I could. I almost passed out from the action.
I can see it. Slashes. I could see white stars, then a moment later a slash. All of my shields broke the moment I casted them.
This is too dangerous!
I plummeted to the ground at breath taking speeds, as I did I put up shields where I could see the stars getting wider, the moment the stars could get wide enough a slash would come from them, the star disappearing as the slash appeared.
What in Equestria was this spell!? Throughout all my life I've never even heard of a spell that involved slashing! Or atleast not in this caliber!
I teleported to the ground, the changeling following soon after with a thud. It stretched it's leg towards me and I could see a sea of stars appear. I tried to put up shields where the slashed would come from first. My concentration almost faltered when I heard the changeling speaking.
"STARLIGHT! YOU CAN SEE THEM CAN'T YOU!?"
"YOU CAN SEE MY CURSED TECHNIQUE!"
What in tartarus was a cursed technique??? If she's talking about the slashing then this type of magic would be foreign to me! Horseapples!
***
More and more slashes came through, funny enough I didn't feel tired as I put up my shields. What I felt wasn't tiredness, no, it was FEAR. Fear for my life. If one slash came through I would die. One slash was enough to complete chop off one of my legs if it ever came in contact with me. I didn't want to die, not yet!
I could tell the changeling was getting tired. After a few seconds I saw an opening and took it. I teleported behind the changeling and bucked her full force, blood gushing out of her mouth and eyes as I did.
She went rolling behind an alleyway. I quickly galloped over and tried to finish the job. I as I entered the alley I saw... Nothing.
IT WAS A TRAP BUC-
Before I could react, the changeling put her hooves on my legs and pinned me against the wall. I tried to use magic but to no avail as I felt my magic weakening and weakening.
Was this it? Was this the end?
The ling was eyeing me, relishing in my fear. Suddenly we both whipped our heads to our left as we heard screaming,
"CATCH BOTH OF THEM! SEARCH EVERY CORNER!" A royal guard shouted at the top of his lungs.
"WE DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE! JUST TRY AND LOOK FOR TWO SUSPICIOUS MARES!" Another shouted.
I glanced over to the changeling, she had a face full of shock. I could feel a grin forming on my face,
"Well well well, seems like you and I are- HMPH?!" I tried to quip but I was interrupted by her putting a hoof straight into my mouth
"Shut up for a second!"
I tried to pull her hoof out of my mouth, but instead of relenting she dug her hoof even deeper. 'This mare's disgusting!'
After a few moments of silence, she finally pulled her dirty hoof out my mouth and wiped it on her coat.
"What was that for?!"
"To get your mouth full so you'll shut up! I would much rather... Kiss you but we're underaged!"
She... She just said that. Straight at my face.
"Just... Shut up!"
"That's the plan!" She said, whispering and shouting at the same time.
A moment of silence was shared between us, both us red in the cheeks and looking away from each other. She still tried to wipe my drool out of her hoof while I gagged out dirt that made it's way inside my mouth.
Was... The guards gone? Have they left? If they have I'm gonna buck this ling so hard I-
Wait. The changeling knew my name, I haven't told her that!
"How in Equestria do you know my name?"
"Pinkie sense." She replied.
"What the buck is pinkie sense!?"
"Don't question it,"
...
"I thought you didn't like me," She whipped her head around to face me, confused.
"What? I didn't say that!"
"'Not that much to look at'. That's what you said."
"It was because you had a cloak dumbass!"
"Oh..." I was ever so slightly fuming, not at her but at me. Really? I forgot to get rid of my stupid cloak? I am the smartest alive wow!
...
"My names... Trixie." The changeli- Trixie said.
"That's not a very changeling name,"
"Fine! Trixie, Trixie Lulamoon!"
"Sounds even more like a pony name," I commented with a sly smirk.
"Yeah keep saying that 'Starlight'."
"Shut it."
...
"Wait what the heck is a 'Cursed technique?' " I could hear Trixie audibly gulp.
-Me, who barely started to take this fic seriously.
It was a blissful moon for Sunset. She sat at her balcony and stared into the stars that we're illuminating the sky, the moon shining bright as ever.
This was a rare bliss for her, one she greatly appreciated. She grabbed the coffee next to her and took a small sip out of the cup. She had heard that a commotion was happening in the town of gravel mane, but she told herself that she simply did not care. Besides, from what she heard either the whole town is on some potent drugs, or a new type of casting was discovered in a fight. She didn't know what made more sense, but she was slightly leaning to the drugs.
I mean, a new casting method? One that didn't involve the use of horns? Insane!
She had heard that last night, a battlefield seemingly appeared out of thin air. Residents depiction of the fight was truly bizarre.
From what she had heard, there were two main perpetrators. One black coated mare with a blue and green mane, and a light purple mare with two black bars for a cutie mark. They apparently, "Flew across the sky,".
The fight started with the purple mare blasting the other point blank, then the purple mare reportedly flung the blue mane'd mare to the sky, destroying the building's ceiling in the process. The purple mare teleported above the other and bucked her, making the other soar to the ground, making a dust cloud as she hit the ground. To make it more easier for her, Sunset decided to name the black coated mare "Moon" and the purple one as "Aurora".
Residents reportedly heard a distinct 'Screech' and a 'blast', before Aurora was flung through the dust cloud, gushing blood out of her mouth was seen as she soared through the clouds, splitting them in the process. A round of laughter was heard from Moon as she shouted, "Cut". She then screamed profanities as Aurora and flew forwards with her wings, turns out she was a pegasus. The following fight wasn't entirely clear. Some residents said that they saw 'Air slashes aimed towards Aurora.' Others reported 'Stars with a black outline.'
One thing was for certain however, Aurora was lossing. She reportedly put up a massive amount of shields, somewhere along the lines of 100-1000 shields. Very impressive considering her apparent age. Almost too impressive. All the shields were for not as they were cut down in a second. The amount may be many but the strength of these shields were hindered because of her blunder. She apparently noticed that and put up shields, this time stronger and more thought out. I have to give her props for quick decision making.
Moon shouted something unrecognizable at first, but the rest of her shouting was. She said something about, "(Aurora)! YOU CAN SEE MY CURSED TECHNIQUE!"
Now that's odd, what in the hay was a 'Cursed technique'? More evidence to support my drugs hypothesis. Aurora teleported to the ground, Moon soon following suit. Mind you, this was about the time Moon shouted profanities at Aurora. Both mares where panting and stood still, multiple shields breaking and getting casted as they stood still. Upon closer inspection of both mares, courtesy of a brave stallion, Moon seemingly out stretched one of her for legs out while standing on her hind legs, Aurora mean while was dodging and weaving from nothing, or something invisible.
After a few moments Moon seemingly lost her balance, Aurora seeing the chance promptly took it and teleported behind Moon and bucked her full force, making her tumble to a nearby dark alley. At this time the nearby guards from surrounding towns were called along with some royal guards from Canterlot. Residents don't know what happened next, as all of them were instructed to move out the premises and find shelter.
Unfortunately, both Moon and Aurora were not found. One mare did say that she heard arguing from the alley where both was but that statement was quickly trashed.
Sunset took another sip of her coffee, "Looks like it's going to be a long day huh," The sun was now in the sky, illuminating the entirety of Equis for another day.
"So can I get down now?" I asked Starlight while dangling on the rope in her tent's ceiling.
"No, I still don't trust you." Starlight said while letting out an annoyed groan. Starlight forced me into her tent (non consensually) and tied me up and just let me dangle off the ground while slowly spinning in circles.
"The great and magnificent Trixie doesn't approve this method of interrogation, it kinda makes me sick." Starlight was now looking at me with a mixture of worry and confusion. After a few moments of staring into each other's eyes she sighed and stopped my spinning with her magic.
"So... Does that mean Trixie is free now?"
"No, and stop talking in 3rd pony."
"It helps build Trixie's character," Starlight looked like she was about to smack me through the atmosphere and onto the moon with Luna by the looks of it.
"So, let me get this straight." I nodded and let her continue, "So this 'Cursed technique' is something that you came up with on the spot?"
"Yes,"
"And this type of casting can make anypony be able to cast magic?"
"Yep,"
"And their magic is different pony to pony?"
"Well most of it,"
...
"What do you mean 'most of it?'" Shit I just opened hell's gate on myself again huh.
"Well Trix-" Starlight stared right into my soul and I felt my soul shudder, "-I mean that the magic pool and unique abilities are different. There are some that can be learned,"
Starlight stopped her glares of sauron and pulled out a notebook out of thin air, "So you mean I can learn this... 'Cursed technique'?"
"Just call it CT, my ears hurt everytime you try to pronounce it, and yes you can learn it."
"Tell me how."
"Not happening Glims," Starlight almost looked offended by the nickname but decided to just glare at me again.
"Why not?"
"Not giving a mare that has a cult more power than she already has."
"Cult? What's that?"
She... Didn't know what a 'cult' was? Wait did she even go to school?
"Indoctrinating ponies, Star, that's what a cult is."
"I haven't even done that yet."
"You can't leverage your little cult against me ei- wait what?"
"I haven't even indoctrinated ponies yet,"
...
I can still fix her guys holy shit. Maybe, just maybe, I can actually fix her damn attitude and not make her a complete douche.
"Well if you're so insistent, you'll be my first member. Think of it as a blessing from your superior to you," Nevermind she's already a scumbag. I just wanna smack that face into neverland so badly.
"Trixie doesn't care about your blessing," I said while putting my tongue out and blowing a raspberry at her.
"Ew! Stop that!"
"No!" I didn't stop blowing a raspberry at her to piss her off.
"You know I can just blast you into dust right?"
"Yeah but will you do i-" I felt a strange wave of energy as I passed out infront of Starlight.
Achievement unlocked! The great annoyance!
Skill unlocked! The how 2 guide to piss of mare's and stallions alike!
Skill unlocked! The how 2 guide to piss of mare's and stallions alike!
I, The great and magnificent Trixie shall commend you! You hast found my great and ancient technique of pissing people off! I mean ponies off!
This skill allows you to annoy people to the utmost degree! Any and all attention will be directed towards you as you perform this magnificent skill! You will be hated however! Unless you know magic that is, well, know mastered magic.
Level: Magnificent! Mastery: Not as great as me!
"Oh buck off you horse,"
"Unfortunate that I had to kill Trixie, that CT would've made me even more powerful, but I can just replicate it with due ti-"
"Bleugh! Trixie doesn't like pure magic going into her lungs..."
"Wha- how..."
*annoy activated*
"You simply just suck stallion balls my dear Starlight." I said with a smug grin. I could smell my burnt mane and chitin, and it smelled not so great.
*annoy deactivated*
"Why you..." Starlight said while charging up another magic blast.
"Not happening again!" I activated OVERDRIVE for a split second and used 'cut' on my ropes, freeing me just in time as Starlight released her blast, completely destroying the roof of her tent.
"Oh buck me!" Starlight said.
"Trixie would rather not." Now that Trix- I was thinking about it, my voice sounded a whole lot like Trixie's. Strange.
Starlight blushed a crimson hue on her face and said, "Oh you know what I mean!"
"Yeah yeah, just using your tricks on yourself."
"My tent too! I casted a space spell all week to make this tent bigger on the inside and you just tore a hole through it like it was nothing!"
"Well I didn't, you did." I quipped.
***
We sat there for a few moments in silence. Looks like Star is out of magic. She's sweating up a storm by the looks of it.
I grabbed a towel out of my mane and went closer to her.
"Hey just what do you-"
"Oh just shut up Star you're filthy,"
She only sat there stunned by my comment. I was now right besides her and was rubbing the towel all over her body to clean her. I wasn't joking either about how she was filthy, she smelled like an average comicon convention in texas.
She waited patiently for me to finish drying her off. After I did she only yawned and started to doze off, and promptly flopped on the floor, knocked out.
"Huh... She really was tired." Well it wasn't surprising because after the fight she kept interrogating me in her tent and didn't even catch a wink.
"Well... The least I can do is fix her tent up." And so that's what I did. Changelings really didn't need sleep that much, while yes we did feel sleepy, love usually just makes our brain stay awake longer, and I gathered a fuck ton of love at the bar.
While I was fixing her 'roof', I decided to look at my stats again. 'Zero!' Thankfully I didn't need to shout it now.
Name: Rimu Age: 2.1 days (14) Gender: Female (male) Level: 1 Skills: Best hoof skills! (Lv: MAX) OVERDRIVE! (Lv: 1) Basic magic (Lv: 1) Pinkie stash! Annoyance Cursed energy: king variation (level 0) Love meter: 25%
Cursed energy:
Some say this energy only gets uncovered once a eon. This energy is very strong, even stronger than most magic. You have a small amount stored, but with enough practice you shall have an ocean.
Level: 0 Variation: Cursed king
That's... Interesting. Didn't know there was another version of magic. Well I should've guessed because dark magic exists.
I levitated a few pieces of cloth from my mane and started to stick it to the roof of the tent. After a few minutes it was fixed. I inspected my creation and laid next to the sleeping body of Starlight, beginning to slumber as well.
"Hey, Twily? What's going on?
"Trixie! There's a changeling queen on the loose! We need to hide now!"
"What's so bad about changelings?"
"They can steal our identity Trix! And I suspect you're the prime target!"
"Why me and not you?"
"Trixie! You're the most illusive out of all of us foals! You have no parents, no family members alive and you appeared randomly! If I didn't know any better I would've thought you were the changeling-"
"Uh, Twily?"
"Trixie... Why aren't you talking in 3rd pony?"
"You do know Trixie doesn't talk in 3rd pony all of the time. It gets annoying at times- uh Twily?"
"You... You aren't my BFFFL..."
"Twily?-"
*splat*
"Trixie? Horseapples the buck happened to you?! You're bleeding everywhere!"
"Can't... Breathe..."
"Hold on! Stay awake for a few more seconds Trixie! We're gonna teleport to Ms. Healthpack, ready?"
"Lungs... Magic... Collapsed... Scared..."
***
"HEALTH PACK!"
"Yes master?- WHAT HAPPENED TO LULA?!"
"I don't know! She just teleported Infront of me bleeding! She isn't responding or turning back too!"
"Get her to the table, I'll gather up the rest of the doctor members, just try to stabilize him for now, I won't be long."
"But!-"
...
"Please Trixie, don't leave me..."
"please..."
"AHH!" Starlight screamed out, jolting me awake.
"Starlight it's the middle of Luna's fucking night can you up," I tried to quip again but Starlight didn't listen. Tears were streaming down her face and she was panting heavily.
"Hey Star you alright?"
"..."
"Star?" I tried to reach out to her but I was interrupted by a sudden hug from Starlight.
"Hey woah Star you good or?"
"Just shut up for a second Trixie."
"..." I would be lying if I said I wasn't concerned for Star. But I have a feeling she doesn't like help for her problems. So instead, I just sat there, embracing the hug for a couple of minutes while listening to Starlight's mumblings. I think someone needs a party.
***
Starlight went back to sleep after a few minutes, I tried to sleep too but I just left her alone, she needs it.
I stepped out of her tent and looked at the night sky. In earth this shit wouldn't be possible, but in Equestria... I guess you can do everything.
The night sky was beautiful. I started wondering for a moment why it was night, then I realized that me and Star probably slept through the evening because she was dang tired. I rubbed my eyes to clean the remaining dirt that was stuck in them and yawned. 'I can't wait for the rainboom.'
I just sat there, in the night sky. It was peaceful, no gunshots, no police sirens, and definitely no air pollution that's what I know. It was nice. It was nice to get a nice and slow moment after my first day in Equestria. First it was the incident, next the Hydra, and lastly it was Starlight.
My mind drifted into different thoughts. One of these thoughts were simple enough,
"What now..."
I haven't really thought about it. What the fuck was I going to do? I appeared years before the first episode happens, so one wrong step and everything goes kaboom on my ass.
'Maybe you should rule the world' 'Maybe you could help Twilight be stronger!' 'Or have some fun!' 'Or be the best wonderbolt for Dashie!' 'Or ah could be the sponsor for Apple Acre's,' 'Or you could be the best tailor and be the mentor for dear Rarity' 'Or you could help animals... Just a thought.' 'Or attend CSGU to complete the promise you made to mom...' 'Or you could be the strongest?'
Whatwillyou choose?
...
I could use a little excitement.Maybe a party should do it!No I need to go fast!Maybe I should study?Dear you and I know we can't read.Maybe we could um... Pay our respects to uh... Mr. Hydra?Mr. Hydra got what they deserve, ah really don't want to see em' again.Augh, just ask Starlight to teach us magic.I don't need help on magic?!
Just... Shut... Up...
We clearly do.No we don't!We could just study for it?Darling we can't read.Oh...
Shut... Up...
Ah really am itchin to get mah bucking done.Oh silly! We don't have an apple orchard!Darn.
Shut... UP!
... ... ...
Achievement unlocked! Elements.
... What was... That? My... Head really hurts... Am I finally... Going nuts?
'Zero'
Name: Rimu Age: 2.5 days (14) Gender: Female (male) Level: 1 Skills: Best hoof skills! (Lv: MAX) OVERDRIVE! (Lv: 1) Basic magic (Lv: 1) Pinkie stash! Annoyance Cursed energy: king variation (level 0) Elements Love meter: 25%
Skill: Elements.
You may not be one of us originally Rimu.But dear please do remember you now one of us,ah know, ah know, you just got thrusted with his ability.But we seriously need your help! You're the only one that can change the futere Rimu!If you could... Not tell anyone about this it would really help... We're not forcing you to uh... Take up responsibility...But you really need to focus.
We aren't the Elements per say. We're a mangled representation of it, made by you're brain.So please Rimu, you need to change the future.Hey stop saying that, he doesn't have to change the future, he just needs to not fuck it up.Hey quit talking Cursed!Seems like I'm the only smart person here anywho.
Rimu! You need to follow your heart!Yeah! It sounds counterproductive but... It's the right kind of counterproductive. We're here if you need anything.And don't confuse us with the actual elements and their friends. We're just a figment of your imagination trying to make you understand. We're-no- I'm special.And darling please don't say otherwise, you're not useless you're just as important as Celestia, hell even more important than sunbutt.Hey!Well, we gotta go. Remember me, don't bottle up your emotions like last time, alright?
Level: You're good! Mastery: We're here for you.
...
I am going insane.
So do I have the entirety of the elements just telling me what to do now?
Rimu we're just figments of your imagination, we just put our perspective so you could understand.
This is just confusing. Why do I have special powers like this...
Pshh. Ah'm more deserving as anypony to get this power.
...
Did I talk like that or did my imagination talk like that? Augh... I really need to cool off right now.
Oh! Party time me? I think it's party time me!
I should've gone to a therapist last life.
Oh dear, hey me? Did we break me? Heh. I knew Twilight-me had the worst idea known to man. Hey! I have a good plan! You just ruined it with your confusing explanation! Idiot, you made the explanation. All of us did. Hah! I'm starting to like Cursed-me a lot better!
"Star you're gonna miss the totally cool and not Illegal hay pancakes I made,"
"You can't even cook mom..."
"Well if you don't wake up right now darling I'll cook you instead."
With that Starlight shot up and almost hit her head on the roof of her tent, then fell back down with a thud.
"Hey! That isnt funny... Mom...?"
"BWAHAHAHAHA HOLY FUCKIN SHIT THE LOOK ON YOUR FACE! HAAHAHAHHAH-" I was suddenly smacked by Starlight with her hoof, "Ow! That hurt,"
"Yeah and that's what you get for trying to impersonate my mom," Starlight crossed her forelegs and shook her head, "wait you made hay pancakes?"
"Yeah, I had some help." This idiot can't even cook pancakes right Starlight, like how- shut up.
"...help?"
"A little birdie taught me how,"
"... Hey did I buck you too hard last night?"
"Psh, you couldn't even kick me right, didn't hurt at all." 'My head still hurts, I need to get the voices out of my head ASAP,'
'Zero can you deactivate the elements skill or something?'
The elements skill has not been activated.
'... Noted'
'Awwww, you don't like out company?'
'I do but you guys can't just put your own words into my sentences okay?'
'You're no fun,'
And suddenly the voices disappeared. Well, all except for one or two.
*Munch*'Oh wait they left?'
'Yeah... The rest left because Rimu doesn't want them for a bit.
'Of course the only one's left are the eldritch monstrosity and the king or curses, fantastic.'
'You flatter me,'
"Uh? Trixie? You there?"
"I- uh- huh?" I haven't noticed but I was now at a table with the hay pancakes I made infront of me on a plate. When did I get here?
"You kinda just set the table and stared into nothing... Not complaining though," With closer inspection I realized that Starlight ate about half the pancakes I made.
"Hey! Save Trixie some!"
"Well winner takes all,"
"Trixie won that fight last last night!"
"Yeah tell that to your crumpled chitin,"
"Yeah and to your ruffled mane too Star,"
"Oh shut it."
We sat there in silence, eating the hay pancakes. It wasn't particularly awkward, since we both knew we were starving. After we ate I grabbed the dishes and started to wash them at the sink nearby. Wait this tent is huge what, there's a table, a sink and a kitchen! How much magic did Starlight put into this tent?!
"Hey Star?"
"Call me Master, cult member."
"Yeah Master of what? Courting?" Starlight seemingly went red at that retort.
"Augh! Just call me Master! You're the first official member of my cult now so stop calling me Starlight!"
"Yeah yeah master," I think Starlight grew more red.
...
"Hey Master?"
"I-uh-huh-uh yes?"
"How much magic did you put into this tent?"
"Well let's just say a week was used up just trying to make this tent."
"Trixie thinks it's not impressive at all," Starlight whipped her head around to face me and glared into my soul. Seems like I struck a nerve with that one.
"Well let's see how you do it then?"
"Do what?"
"Make this tent? You know. Because you didn't think it was impressive?"
"Well fortunately for you, Trixie doesn't know magic."
"Wait what? You used magic though?"
"Trixie only used a miniscule amount of magic,"
"Well can't you just learn more? You look like a fast learner,"
"Well Trixie can't read." A moment of silence was shared between us as Starlight processed my statement, In the mean time I finished the last of the dishes snd put them on the drying rack off to the side of the counter.
"Wait you can't read?"
"Uh huh."
...
"I just lost to somepony who couldn't read..."
"What was that master?"
"Nothing."
...
"So... Trixie. Since you're the first cult member I have, what do you think is the best course of action to get more members?"
"Why are you asking Trixie that Master?"
"Well, I need ideas from my cult members, I can't just do everything on my own can I now?"
"Trixie thinks you're just too lazy."
"Oh shut it changeling."
...
"Well Trixie thinks we need to impress the populous." I replied, now facing her.
"And how do we do that?" Starlight said with a raised brow.
"Simple, Trixie thinks a simple display of powerful magic can sway the populous."
"Well you would be wrong, I already tried that."
"Well maybe you need to defeat a powerful beast to gain the respect of the ponies?" Mind you, I was just spewing absolute bollocks at this point. Well I kinda just took some aspects of the Trixie episode and how she impressed Ponyville (atleast most of ponyville).
"There's guards in this town Trixie, a beast isn't gonna get past them."
"Well how about a stampede of beasts?"
"Well... Actually that could work."
"See? Trixie is much smarter than Master." I swear everytime I say master Starlight almost chokes on her spit. Can't complain, shits funny.
"The problem is to get a stampede... Hey Trixie can you make a stampede or something?" Starlight asked.
"Trixie is not that powerful."
"Well, maybe you can get a reward if you do it?" Starlight blushed as she said this.
"Well Trixie still doesn't care," Starlight snorted and looked away from me.
"Well... I could buy you a beer from the bar-"
"Deal."
"... That's it?" Starlight looked perplexed, she probably didn't expect me to accept with that condition. Well I technically had a job there but I'm too lazy to go back.
"When does Trixie start?"
"Preferably right now."
"You're funeral," I used overdrive and teleported to the outskirts of the town.
"Wait I was joki- and she's gone... Buck."
***
I popped into existence outside of the town near a herd of buffalo. 'perfect.'
'You should've accepted her earlier offer. I'm curious on what she could do~'
'Hey! There's kids reading this cursed!'
'Hey no 4th wall breaking Pinkie.'
I inspected the herd if buffalo, not going to lie there's a fuck ton of them. Not sure if Master can handle this many. Well her funeral.
"HEY BULLS! THE GREAT AND MAGNIFICENT TRIXIE IS TALKING TO YOU!"
The herd almost immediately just ran straight towards me, guess that's the power of annoyance.
"YEAH COME AT TRIXIE LIKE THE BULLS YOU ALL ARE!"
'Pause'
'Unpause!'
I quickly galloped towards the town at the speed of a train. I'm just joking, I wasn't that fast. The buffalo's were hot on my tail, ready to just munch on my pony self. You'd think being herbivores makes you not want to tear someone's skin off, you'd be wrong, and I really don't want to prove you wrong.
"Oh you have got to be kidding me," Starlight deadpanned at me as she watched an entire herd of buffalo chase me towards the town, "Sweet Celestia please guide me through this idiots antic's." She then gallops towards me.
***
"So you actually... Did it huh?" Starlight asked while huffing, she galloped all the way to me and was now running with me towards the town with the herd.
"Of course! The great and magnificent Trixie shall not disappoint her master!" I said with a sly grin. I was loving every and each part of this. That includes the part where Starlight looks pissed.
'They grow up so fast... *Sniff*'
'Yeah! One moment their 14 the other their 0! Isn't that neat?'
'Darling that's the opposite of growing up'
"So... What's the... Plan... Trix?" Starlight looks like she was about to collapse any second now. She definitely was not the athletic type. For now, atleast.
"I thought you had a plan?"
"What?!... I... Didn't... Have... A... Plan?!" Starlight was now both panicking and pissed at me at the same time. A sight to behold.
"Well I have one but it isn't pretty,"
"And... What's... The... Plan?..."
"We go in the town, I do my cool tricks, stop the herd, and you get credit." The plan was simple really, but the way to execute it was not.
"And... Why... Isn't that... Pretty...?"
"Because Trixie's gonna shed blood to make it work." Starlight looked green after I said this. Who knew a future bad guy was not a fan of blood.
"Wait... Like... A lot of... Blood...?"
"Trixie's going to fill a city with blood." Ok that made Starlight almost vomit. It didn't help that I said it with the most emotionless face known to pony kind.
"You're in or...?"
"Yes... I'm... In..." Well gotta rap this up, Starlight's getting tired.
"Well hold on for a second longer, we're almost there."
We just about barely made into town, the guards tried to stop the herd but you can guess what happened. The herd was about 2 minutes away from me and Starlight.
"Just... Get... It... Over... With..." Starlight sat on her rump and exhaled loudly.
"Better get me that cider then,"
"RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!" A mare exclaimed.
The herd was now at the gate of the town, and I took this opportunity to do another anime reference.
"Let's get this over with."
. . . . . . . . . .
"Ryoiki tenkai"
'Hey it's a Jujitsu kaisen reference!-' 'Oh! Do I get to do the narrator voice?-" 'AWESOME!!!!!-' 'Ah'd get ready for blood if ah were ya-' 'Blo... Blood?!-' 'Aughhhh this is just plain dumb-' 'Oh dear-' 'Hey guys what'd I miss-' Achievement unlocked! Shrine!
"Fukuma mizushi"
'Wait what the buck is Ryoiki ten-' I was cut off by a sudden gust of wind behind me and a sudden playing of music around me with people singing. I glanced behind me as Trixie stood on her hind legs and put her hooves together. A large shrine broke through the ground and with it a sudden dome of black engulfed the both of us along with all of the buffalo herd.
A felt the ground shake and rumble as a pile of pony, buffalo, minotaur and griffin skulls appeared into thin air, slowly making me and Trixie ascend a couple of feet.
'Is this how it feels to meet death?' I shivered at the thought, I was probably safe, but that didn't stop the primal fear that this... "Magic" gave me.
"Stand proud Starlight," A sudden stallion voice echoed around me, "because you are strong."
* * * * *
Blood. Just. Blood. The poor... Buffalo... Entire families getting shredded and tossed around like dust. An entire lake of blood was forming right infront of me.
'Is... Is this Trixie?' I asked myself.
"■ Fuga."
"WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!"
"Well technically it means open but-"
A sudden pillar of flame shot up from Trixie's hooves, said flames quickly fell and she caught it. The other hoof stretched the fire and made a gigantic bow and arrow aimed at the remaining buffalo. One buffalo tried in vain to ram into Trixie but was cut up almost immediately.
"Try a little harder than that, you animals."
Trixie fired the flaming arrow, then everything was engulfed in flames.
"Hey, Star? You alright?"
...
'This is your fault curse.'
'How is it my fault?! I didn't do this to her!'
'Yah still controlled Rimu'
'He controlled me! Not the other way around!'
"Can all of you shut up, I'm trying to snap Starlight out her trance here?"
'See?! I can't control my voice here?!'
'You may not control him but you do know you influence him everytime he uses you, right?'
'I am going to punch you so hard right now-'
'Stop,' I put my hoof out to stop Suku- I mean Cursed, 'Let her cook.'
'Don't you dare use references while in a serious discussion Sombra!'
'Hey! I don't go by that name anymore,'
'oooo! Lore reveals! Hey AJ want some popcorn?'
'Ah would normally decline but yah right, this is getting interesting.'
'Hey leave me some too!'
'Of course Dashie! Here-'
'Now this is odd.'
'Oh hey princesses!'
...
'Hey wait why are both princesses here-'
'And close.'
*Poof!*
'...'
'You do not want this smoke Cursed, or should I say little Sukuna?'
'I will fold you like an omelette Sombra don't test me,'
'I'll destroy you're ass bitch.'
'We could do it right here Sombrero and I will cook you,'
'I'll give you an ass whooping so hard you're gonna wish you stayed in Earth.'
'Wanna test that Sombrero? Cause I will ride your donkey ass right here.'
'Pause'
'I would rather not clean your guy's mess up,'
"Wakey wakey eggs and dead ponies," I nudged Starlight a little.
"What... Was that..."
"I have no idea."
"All those families..."
"Don't worry I didn't kill them,"
"What?"
"I did some cool tricks and kinda just made them see what I could do," I gestured behind me, multiple buffalo's where now shivering and most of them were unresponsive.
"What... Happened to your voice...?"
"Oh horseapples hold on. Ahem. Ahem, there we go!"
...
"So... Is Trixie still getting that cider? Ey? Ey?" Everytime I said 'ey' I nudged Starlight. It was fun to do, not even gonna lie to you.
Starlight looked behind her only to see the shocked faces on the townsfolk's faces. All of them froze as Starlight gazed in their general direction.
"Trixie I don't think you're plan worked-" Starlight almost said, but was interrupted by a mare suddenly jumping out of the frozen crowd and onto Starlight.
"Thank you! Thank you!" The mare excitedly hugged the still dumbfounded Starlight, "You saved the town! Thank you! Both of you!"
"What...? But we... Forced the herd of buffalo here...?" I could feel Starlight's growing confusion by the second.
"Those buffalo were pillaging towns and farms nearby! Oh you save the whole area from starving, thank you!" The mare nuzzled Starlight to thank her even more. I relished the love that the townsfolk were handing out, but I relished Starlight's growing confusion even more.
"Trixie couldn't have dont it with my dear master here, Starlight Glimmer." My sly smile was hidden with my hoof. Oh don't change Starlight please don't change. Wait. Actually change a little please.
"What can we do to repay both of you?" The mare asked, "We will do anything that you ask!"
My smile grew wider and wider, "Well first..." I looked over to Starlight with a knowing grin, she looked at me with a terrified expression, completely knowing what I was gonna do, "We could have a..."
"No, Trixie don't-"
"PARTYYY!!!!!!!!"
'FUN! FUN! FUN! FUN!'
'Oh dear faust please get me out of this hell'
"Finally! I'm done with the last hive!" Chrysalis said while panting heavily.
As you can see (well read), Chrysalis has destroyed each and every hive in Equestria except her own. This war between changelings has been happening for 234 years, and now is the day that it finally ended. Chrysalis, along with three allied hives, has killed every other changeling in their path.
"I can finally start on my plan to rule over Equestria! HAHAHAHA!" Chrysalis said with the default villain pose.
"My queen! I have news for thee," Crystal, her most powerful, most agile and most talented of changelings kneeled down infront of her.
"What is it my dear Crystal?"
"It seems that there is another changeling queen,"
Chrysalis was stunned for a moment. Did one of them escape? Did one get hidden?
"What?! Where?" Chrysalis hissed.
"The fake queen is in Gravel mane as we speak your majesty."
"Kill her now! And don't take others, kill her yourself."
"I shall follow your orders my queen." Crystal quickly disappeared and left Chrysalis on her own.
'Dammit! I don't have enough love to maintain my mind control spells on my changelings!' Chrysalis looked on to where Crystal was a moment before and thought for a moment, a mischievous grin appearing on her face as she thought of a perfect plan.
"Im sorry Crystal, but it seems you have outlived your usefulness. I shall give you a burial fit for Celestia when you inevitably fail."
Chrysalis knew that Crystal would either lose, or seriously injured when she returns. Crystal may have been the strongest other than herself, but she was also the most emotional of her royal battalion. Always disagreeing with her and contradicting her plans to save more changeling lives. Pathetic.
"You shall not be missed, my dear 'friend'. "
Princess Cadence was trotting along the halls of the castle, looking for auntie Celestia. Or that's what she said when guards asked where she was going.
No, Cadence was out on a mission. Auntie would never let her learn combat magic when she was younger, but now that she was at the ripe old age of 16, she was now ready to protect her loved ones with force.
Cadence, or whoever she was, reincarnated into Equestria at the start of her life. At first she was rightfully confused. The last she remembered was getting interrogated by the enemy spy for information, the spy put a gun to her face and threatened her if she didn't leak any information. She thought it was a bluff at first, now she knew otherwise.
After she was born, she treated her life in Equestria as a dream at first. Well, that all stoped when her parents got crushed in a construction incident, almost killing her and them in the process. Princess Celestia came to the rescue however and stopped the debris from fully burying young Candice and her family. That's when she knew to stop treating her second chance as a game.
She was an avid watcher of MLP:FIM in her past life, heck, she even bought multiple toys. That all changed when a nuke was launched however. She survived the fallout, but was then drafted to fight the third world war. She hated every single second of it. Every drop of blood, every downpour of acid rain, every artificial meat that she ate. Everything.
Now that she had a second life, she wouldn't waste it. Not waste it anymore, atleast.
Cadence knew the entire story of MLP, she watched it all on repeat in collage after all. She also knew that she needed to get with Shining armour in the future, lest she would destroy the timeline that is. She practiced and studied as hard as she could, pulling all nighters like in collage. She even became an alicorn before the expected time. She was done messing around.
Cadence doesn't want her family or Celestia to know that she replaced their Cadence, that would ruin the series and her second life. She also wouldn't let them know that she was a male in her past life, with the same reasons as before but also because of embarrassment. She also never, EVER considered the... Baby alicorn in the room, or the wedding, or the relationship with Shining, or really with anything remotely mare like.
Cadence was always told that she was a 'tommare' all her life, but all of them can suck it now that she has access to battle magic! Oh today's gonna be a gooooood studying session. She knows it.
"I'm sorry Rimu, but you're parents has been pronounced dead."
***
"Today we will celebrate the life of Mr and Ms. Tempest,"
***
"This all we can give you, a house and a bike, we admire your grandpa when he served, goodbye."
***
"Rimu, I know you may be grieving, but your grades cannot continue to go down like this. We have decided to only give you one more chance, we hope that you will do better next time."
***
"Well, I decided to pace myself so I wouldn't get tired. Not like you and Applejack, I also admired the nature."
"Turn that off right now mister! Or you'll get detention and get suspended once and for all!"
* * *
"No one came for my birthday party, again. *Sigh...*"
"How do you do this Pinkie? Just how? You get everybody to your parties like it's nothing, but here I am not even getting one person in my party..."
"Eh, one more birthday used for MLP binge watching."
***
"You're suspended. Don't come anywhere near the school again. You're lucky we didn't call the cops. Go."
...
"Well... I always have another school to try and go to..."
'...'
"How did you do it! How did you defeat the bad ponies?" A colt asked Starlight who was sitting at a table in the bar.
"Well... We just went with our hearts... I think."
I gulped down another batch of apple cider as Starlight continued to answer the townsfolk's questions. I owe it to her, she keeps promises. Right about now I had drank down about 12 cider's and counting. I loveeeeeee getting wasteddddddddddd. Or that's what I would say if I didn't have a certain biology that keeps me from getting drunk. I'm looking, at you changeling body.
"So... How's the cider Trixie?" Starlight asked while drinking her own cider, she looks like she really needs a wink or too, she about ready to collapse right now.
"Trixie thinks it's alright."
"Really? I think it's the best," Starlight put a hoof to her chest and looked up with pride.
"Well Trixie thinks you just have bad taste buds,"
"How dare you!" Starlight jokingly accused me.
...
We both burst out laughter at her accusation. We both needed that.
"Ohhh that was good Star, that was a good one,"
"Hey I've been practicing,"
"Since when? Since the last time you went here?"
"We don't talk about that."
...
This party was nice. Sure, it wasn't at the level of Pinkie's party, but I've researched how she makes parties more than once so I have an idea or two.
There were multiple tables of salad, cupcakes, and cakes at the side of the entrance way of the bar. There were also games laid out at another table, most foals tended to gravitate to the board games but the adults played party games instead.
It was... Fun...
'Yeah...'
"Hey Star?" I asked.
"Yeah Trixie?"
"Trixie thinks this is the perfect opportunity to gather members for our little cult."
"You think so? How do you think we should do it?"
...
"I dunno, Trixie thought you had a plan." Starlight visibly faced hoof in front of me. She sat there, thinking for a few seconds.
"What if... We convince the ponies to follow us?" Star said.
I have no fucking clue how she recruited cult members in the actual show. For all I could know she fucking kidnapped them...
Actually she might've kidnapped them. Well... Fuck you main timeline Starlight for not making a guide on cult recruiting.
"You sure that'll work-"
"May I have a moment, Ms. Lulamoon and Ms. Glimmer?" We both flinched at the new voice behind us, we both looked towards the voice and found a rather old stallion, "My name is Mayor stallion, you could just call me Mayor if you would like."
Well that's an original and not at all copied name. I wonder where he got that name... Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm
"What seems to be the problem Mayor?" Starlight asked quizzically.
"Oh! There's no problems at all! Actually, I was thinking if you two wanted to become the head guard and vice mayor respectively."
Well. That was easy.
"Hey Star does this normally happen here?" I whispered.
"You bucking tell me!" She whispered shouted.
"So do you two accept?" Mayor asked. He was looking at us with closed eyes while smiling.
"Sureeeeeee..." Starlight really elongated the sure more than she needed to.
"Fantastic! This is my way of repaying you two." Mayor then walked out the pub, leaving to god knows where.
...
"Well," Starlight said, waiting for my reply.
"That was uh, helpful?" I finished.
"..."
"..."
"Now what?" Starlight looked at me for answers, I only replied with a simple,
"Trixie thinks we're going too fast."
"I completely agree,"
Agent Sweetie drop. Oh agent Sweetie drop. You know that name, right? Of course you do, she's bonbon's true identity.
Well, her day was going as smoothly as you can think.
"AGENT SWEETIE DROP DO YOU COPY?!"
"YES SIR GUM DROP!" Sweetie drop saluted.
"HAVE YOU BEEN BRIEFED ON YOUR MISSION AGENT SWEETIE DROP?"
"YES SIR GUM DROP!"
"SUMMARIZE THE MISSION TO ME, 3 MINUTES TOPS!"
"YES SIR GUM DROP!" Sweetie drop then explained her mission.
Her mission was simple.
Go to Gravel mane, a town in the mesa that was luckily situated next to a lush forest with river streaming down the middle of it. It was close to a town named, "Lush mane". Ride the train from Canterlot to Lush mane, walk through the forrest edge towards Gravel mane, gather intelligence on codename Moon and Aurora. Try to blend in with the locals, new name will be...
"Bonbon, last name drops."
"Good, your train ride is in the night, pack your things and get ready, your hotel in Gravel mane is already booked. Don't get caught, do you understand?"
"YES SIR!" Swee- no- Bonbon saluted, she needs to get used to her new identify as of today. May Celestia bring her luck and fortune for this mission.
"Left the hive as of today for a mission," Crystal wrote on her journal/diary. She found it in her last trip to the outside world to gather love. One unlucky stallion gifted it to her, trying to get on her good side, "I suspect Queen Chrysalis is running out of love to feed the hive, must kill the imposter and steal more love for my queen." She closed her journal and kept buzzing her wings, flying over a forest as she did.
"Hey auntie?" I asked Celestia,
"Yes my dear niece?" Celestia replied while sipping on tea.
"What did I hear about in the library last night? Something about magicless casting?" Celestia almost spat her drink out when I said this. She quickly wiped her snout with a handkerchief and coughed a few times, I could swear I could smell the love coming from the handkerchief, eh it's probably nothing.
"Well... My dear niece, it seems like there's been reports of a pony using magic without the help of her horn," Celestia replied after calming herself.
Never have I ever heard in the show about a "Magicless casting" and somehow it's real?! This was uncharted territory for her, a dangerous one to boot.
"Really? What did the reports say Auntie?" Celestia almost didn't reply to my question and tried to changed the topic until she saw my puppy dog eyes. I've been training these bad boys from the moment I was born! No way she rejects now!
"Well... The reports say that a pony, either a pegasus or a unicorn mare, used magic without the help of her horn," See I told you!
"Well, that's odd. Did the reports say anything else?"
"The reports mentioned a certain other mare fighting the other mare, for clarity reasons, they have named as Moon and Aurora, Moon being the magicless caster and Aurora being the opponent," A fight? And a big one too? If it wasn't Celestia wouldn't be this concerned about any of this. Something changed...
"It was also reported that a group of buffalo almost stampeded their way into the town the next day. Thankfully Moon stopped the buffalo by using a "Strange spell". "
"What spell did she use Auntie?" Now I'm getting even more curious! This was never mentioned in the show at all!
"Well that's the thing," Huh? "we don't know what the spell she used was,"
"How? Is it a rare spell?"
"Well, in all purposes, it's practically a new type of spell." Wait this definitely wasn't mentioned in the show, no way in hell Twilight didn't study this.
"A new spell?"
"Yes, the spell seemingly made a bone structure appear out of thin air, it also made a black dome and covered the entire town."
A bone structure... Black dome....
"What happened next?"
"Well, witnesses say that multiple slashes appeared and cleaved through the buffalo. Moon also apparently summoned a pillar of fire and reshaped it to make a bow and arrow, shooting it towards the buffalo."
Hmmm... Doesn't sound like it was from MLP, also doesn't sound like it was from any cartoon show. Maybe it was from anime? It sounded like anime anyways. Wait why would it be from anime? Im not on Earth! There's no way ponies know anime moves! Get your mind out of the fluffy clouds Cadence! I need to know more, but I can't for now. It's too dangerous. For now I'll look from the sidelines.
"Hey Auntie? Did you send an investigator to figure more?"
"Well... You could say that I guess."
* * * THREE DAYS BEFORE THE THREE CONVERGE * * *
"It's getting dark, need to find shelter. Looks like rain is coming. Three pegasi talking about rain. Can't write much. Already raining. Found cave." Crystal hurriedly wrote in her journal. Rain came in like a wrecking ball and destroyed her plans of getting to the fake queen before the day after tomorrow. For now, she will sleep. She's got a long two days ahead of her, after all.
"That kid I'll tell yah," Gum drops said, getting drenched in the rain, "She's a tough one alright. One of my best,"
"Yeah I can tell," A dark blue coated pegasus mare said to Gum drops, "You really like to compliment her when she can't hear, huh?"
Both of them we're looking at the now departing train on which Bonbon was a passenger of, "Well, compliments never do good for a young kid, you already know that Champagne."
"Yeah yeah, I know. You complemented me, I messed up on a mission because of my pride, and now I haven't heard you compliment me since last great cataclysm." Champagne replied.
"You're like exaggerating details huh, never change Champagne, never change."
"And you should change, that mane style went out if trend years ago Drops,"
"Oh shut it Champagne, like you're any better with your crusty ribbon."
They both shared a laugh, clearly enjoying each other's company. Hopefully these two don't die, *wink* *wink* *nudge* *nudge*.
Trixie was out cold at the floor of Starlight's tent. Starlight, being the ever so gracious mare that she was, drop kicked Trixie when she rolled over to her in her sleep. Starlight didn't regret this however and just kept sleeping on her comfy mattress.
'That mare I tell you, she got guts.'
'Stop trying to flirt with a minor Cursed.'
'What? I'm not flirting with her, that's Rimu's job to do.'
'Yeah right, when was the last time he talked to a women anyways.'
'About three years, two and a half months, three days, two hours and 57 minutes ago.'
'Well that's if you count the dog as a women, if you don't...'
'Add about two more years to that counter otherwise.'
'Really?'
'Really.'
...
'Hey! Dashie? Want to look at his dreams again?'
'Heck yeah I do!'
'That really isn't very nice...'
'It's fine Flutters, hey Pinkie what's playing tonight?'
'Lets see... We got reruns of his favorite anime, Flutterguy memes, some uh... Not so kid friendly dreams, and nightmares.'
'Oooo! Nightmare's sound fun!'
'Trust me, his nightmares are either the most boring things you've seen, or the most random.'
'Well let's play it and find out!'
"What do you mean you're out of bananas?!" Trixie shouted at the strangely blue person infront of her, she had grey hair but she didn't look old.
"Trixie said what she said!" The person said to his face.
"HEY I'M TRIXIE NOT YOU!"
"Yeah yeah, well Trixie is still out of bananas." Trixie2 retorted back.
"TRIXIE WILL BOMB YOUR STORE!"
"Psh, try it, Trixie has Celestia on speed dial." Trixie2 pointed with her index finger to the hologram projector at her side.
"Wait until Luna hears about this! Trixie will lose her job!"
"Trixie's or yours?"
"TRIXIE'S!"
'See? What'd I tell ya'
'Boringggggggg, my head also hurts from all the third pony speak.'
'Well, we could change his nightmares!'
'Change it to horror!'
'You got it!'
"Trixie thinks we're safe," Trixie said while panting, Twilight of all ponies was next to him. Equestria girls Twilight, not pony Twilight.
"I told you to not anger the ghost!" Twilight shouted whispered to him.
'Classic, hey do you know why Rimu calls himself Trixie in his dreams?'
'Ah would reckon it was to get intah character.'
"Ooooooo! Im a spooky ghost!!!!!!"
"Wait Princess Celestia?! Why are you dead?!"
"AHHH! IT'S A HORSE!"
"Hey that's a slur in Equestria!"
"..."
"AHHH! IT'S A FAT BITCH!"
"I will haunt you until you die you scunt."
'Wow using TF2 slurs, daring today aren't we?'
'Blehhh, horror doesn't work with Rimu in it, mannnn what a waste.'
'How about his deepest fear?'
'You're the boss!'
'No don't tell me-'
"I FUCKING HATE STUDYINGGGGGGGGGGHGGGGG!!!!!!!!" Trixie sat on a chair while screaming, he was surrounded by multiple stacks of assignments, projects, and books.
'Now this is just distasteful,'
"Of course there would be 100 assignments, due today! My night's gonna be fun!!!!!!!!!"
'It's going to be fun if you stop complaining!'
"This is just perfect too! I can test out my new fucking gun that I bought!" Trixie opens a drawer form below his desk that he's sitting infront of to reveal a revolver inside. Trixie grabbed the revolver and put the barrel into the left side of his head.
"WHOOPTIDOO!"
*Bang!*
... ... ...
'He shot a blank didn't he-'
'He shot a blank.'
'Well technically, a blank can still kill hi-'
'WE KNOWTWILIGHT!'
"FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK"
'Just... Change the nightmare please?'
"I couldn't believe it wasn't butter!" No one laughed.
'Now this is just sad...'
'And funny!'
"Tell... Twilight... To... Go... Buck herself... *Bleh*" Starlight laid in Trixie's hooves. Dead. Also not a pony apparently.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Trixie screamed out to the heavens, rain pouring down on his coat and mane.
'Awwwww, he cares about Starlight!'
'That's what you noticed first?'
'Just let er' see the good in it'
"I always come back!" A white haired person with blue eyes said, then almost immediately getting cut in half, again.
'Heh'
"Uno!" Trixie shouted to the three humans around him.
"Plus four"
"Plus four"
"Plus four"
"FUCK!" Trixie stood and smacked his head on a black wall.
"So what's the answer to number 10?"
"Uh.... 5?" Trixie said while putting his hoof out.
"No you fucking idiot! You're a disgrace! Get out of my classroom before I beat your ass."
"Ok."
'That isn't even remotely true!'
"I... Like you!" Trixie stretched out his hooves to reveal a bouquet of flowers.
* * * 2 DAYS BEFORE THEY CLASH OR SOMETHING IDK * * *
'God dammit Cursed this is why you don't get paid'
"It feels like Trixie's head exploded," I said while eating my breakfast. A nice hay bacon and hay eggs (why is it all hay???)
"Well... Maybe you should get a doctor...?" Starlight said while slowly levitating her fork into her mouth. I swiftly grabbed the fork with my magic and ate her food infront of her face, "Hey!"
"*Munch* Well that's your fault you were too slow in eating, *Munch*"
"I worked hard for that piece of hay bacon!"
"And I worked harder to grab it out of your mouth, *munch*"
"Why you aughta...!" Starlight put a hoof infront of her, shaking it like a cartoon villain.
I quickly levitated another piece of her food into my mouth, "Keep talking like that Master and you're gonna be out of food faster than I can ruin this story," Wait shit 4th Walls breaking.
"I'll get back at you I swear...!" Typical cartoon villain angry pose here.
"Yeah yeah, Trixie doesn't care, yada yada."
"Yeah? Then how about... This!" Starlight flipped my plate into the air with her magic. I calmly outstretched my hoof and caught my plate, it's content's magically not spilling.
"Wha- how???" Starlight said, puzzled.
"MagiiiIIIccccCCCC!"
...
"Dear Celestia your insufferable sometimes, you know that right?"
"Yap yap yap,"
'Hey can someone put that picture of shoko here?"
'Thanks.' ... ... ...
"...What?"
*SLAM!*
Starlight jumped at the noise of our tent's door slamming open, meanwhile I took my opportunity and ate the rest of her food. She looked confused at the sudden and unwelcomed visitor that so nicely slammed a plastic flimsy door.
"Is this where the new vice-mayor is...?" A filly said while panting heavily.
"Yes, I think so anyways?"
"Starlight what the fuck do you mean 'you think so?'"
"Phew! Okay! Good, Mr. Mayor is asking for you in the town hall." The filly said, still panting.
"Why, if I may ask?" Starlight calmly questioned to the filly.
"I don't have a clue Ms, uh-"
"Ms. Glimmer," I replied to the filly before Star can say otherwise.
"- Ms. Glimmer, but ah do know it's important!"
"Well that's all that matters, please inform Mr. Mayor for us that we are heading his way, if you're so kind to." Starlight has a way with words I can't deny that.
"Will do!" The filly mocked saluted and ran off to what I could only presume to be the town hall
"Well. So much for a calm morning," I quipped.
"What'd you expect? We're the new public officials here I don't think there will be a calm morning for us," Starlight started packing her saddlebags as she said this. My head was still throbbing however so I think it's time to use my patented excuses technique.
"Hey can I go later? My head still hurts."
"... You can just say you don't want to," Fuck.
"Fine! Trixie doesn't want to go to boring meetings,"
"Yeah yeah, I'll tell Mr. Mayor that," Starlight opened the door to the tent and looked back at me, "please don't go and kill anypony for atleast the afternoon, please?" Before I could answer she already left the door and was now trotting over to the town hall.
"Fine,"
***
After I washed the dishes, I started to trot outside for some well needed fresh air. The town quiet and peaceful, no birds in sight, grass is non existent, and I'm pretty sure I saw a tumbleweed in the corner of my eyes.
I haven't had a moment like this since, what? When I first woke up? All of these events that I experienced through wasn't even a weeks time. I just started to walk around town, taking in the scenery. Then I remembered something.
Aren't I technically dead?
Then another thought came to mind.
Why am I so calm about any of this? 'Zero'
Name: Rimu Age: 4.99 days (14) Gender: Female (male) Level: 1 Skills: Best hoof skills! (Lv: MAX) OVERDRIVE! (Lv: 2) Basic magic (Lv: 2) Pinkie stash! Annoyance Cursed energy: king variation (level 3) Elements Love meter: 12%
I walked around the desolate town. Slowly, instead of the peaceful aura that was emanating from the town, it was replaced by a nagging feeling of dread.
All of this doesn't make sense. Im too calm, I should be freaking the hell out! I just DIED 5 days ago! Freaking died! Now im in my favorite cartoon show and I may or may not just changed the timeline! Fuck I'm stupid. Why did I help Starlight? One of the villains of the show?! And help her be more creditable too! If Sunbutt, or even one of the main 6 somehow find their way to here, I'm gonna lose my mind. I need to... I need to what...? Go back to that shit hole I called Earth? What do I need to DO?!
Shit, I'm starting to hyperventilate. Breathing exercises me, breathing exercises. Maybe... I just need to look this screen for a couple of seconds.
*Growl!*
"Huh?" I look towards the source of the growl, only to find a...
"URSA MAJOR?!?!?" Starlight flew off of her seat and into the face of Mr. Mayor, "HERE?!? WERE NOT EVEN CLOSE TO THE EVERFREE!?" Starlight was now shaking Mr. Mayor like a soda can. Mr. Mayor calmly put a hoof out to stop Starlight.
"Yes, it's a very long story but in short, one of my friends seemed to have angered an Ursa major,"
"SEEMED TO??????" Starlight went back to her seat as a blur and collapsed into it, "We. Are. Bucked." Starlight covered her face with both of her hooves, just weeping into them.
"Wait! What about the royal guard?" Starlight jumped up from her seat again, "We can ask them for help!"
Starlight wasn't gonna sacrifice an entire town just for her to not get caught, hell, if she had to get caught to save this town thay trusted them so much, she wouldn't even fight back, well, IF the guard can intervene,
"About that... Seems like there's a rather alarming increase of monsters from the Everfree at this very moment. The royal guard is stretched too thin and can't place any troops in Gravel mane," Mr. Mayor said, with a sad tone in his voice.
Starlight slumped even deeper into her somewhat comfortable cushion chair. Her mind started to run in overdrive for a solution, any solution.
One solution came up, and was quickly shot down by her brain, another came up, another shot down. This loop seemed to go on forever, but in the outside it only looked like Starlight was deep in thought.
"Trixie's gonna walk around town for a bit, I feel like I have a massive headache," What Trixie's said echoed in her mind as she thought. Then the realization hit her like a chariot.
"Wait, where's Trixie right now?"
*Growl!*
I stood there, completely baffled by the sight I was currently seeing. It was a... Very tiny bear with stars dotted around it's body that's also semi translucent.
It started to walk towards me and grab one of the holes in hooves and tried to drag me towards a destination.
"Hey uh, little guy?" I calmly said to the little bear that was trying it's hardest to drag me, failing rather cutely. It stopped grabbing onto my hoof and started to pout as it rolled around the ground infront of me.
"You want something?" I asked. I was rather surprised when it's eyes widened, looked around us, and gave me a little nod, "So uh, what do you want from Trixie?"
It started to babble incoherently at me with it doing actions as it babbled. It pointed at me, and to the distant forest, after a few seconds of babble it pointed at itself then started to stand with it's hind legs and tried to do a scary roar. It then made it self smaller and shook uncontrollably, then it faked ran away from me, only to quickly come back. It then mimicked how I walked and put its claws out to give me nothing, it then quickly faked grabbed the thing it's previous self tried to give me, then it stood up again and clawed at the air. It then went back to shivering and faked ran away again.
After that whole... Stage play, it started to point at me again and tried to drag me to the forest, "Hey hey! No dragging Trixie!" I said sternly, it gave me small whimper and sadly walked away from me, for real this time.
"Buuuuuutttttttttttttt," I started, and was cut off with a sudden hug from the cute bear, it hugging my neck, "Fine! Trixie will walk with you!"
The bear let go of my neck and started to walk towards it's destination. Before I could follow however, I noticed an odd looking dagger that was stabbed into the ground, or was it a knife? 'Eh, safety precautions, maybe I'll need it.'
I slowly trotted towards the dagger, you're finally back the bear cub was now looking at me with curiosity beaming from it's face. I picked the dagger up and placed it in my nearly forgotten saddlebag that Starlight gave me, after that admittedly strange event, I slowly trotted back to the bear cub,
"Let's see what you dragged Trixie along, little cub." It nodded and walked to it's destination, with me not far behind.
'Told you we're partners,'
Achievement unlocked! A little red murder machine!
"First it was the changeling queen, now it's the monster invasion from the Everfree?!" Sunset exclaimed while covered in paperwork. Celestia was currently on her break and she decided to just dump the rest of her paperwork on her faithful student, Sunset. What a good teacher.
"'Oh dear Sunset! It's only a couple pages of paperwork' MY FLANK! THIS WAS PRACTICALLY TAX SEASON ALL OVER AGAIN!" Sunset shivered at her memory of the dreaded... Tax season...
Sunset calmed herself and looked through the paperwork, approving or disapproving the small request while leaving the big ones for Ms. Cakebutt to read through, "A request for a free cart repair, reject. A request for tax exemption for the reason of death in family, accept. Request for pool, reject. Request for more security in the town of Gravel mane, for Celestia- Wait Gravel mane? Hold on for a second..." Sunset skimmed through the request at lightning speeds,
"Hello dear blah blah, the town of Gravel mane appreciates blah blah blah, you are the most wonderful blah blah, ah! Here!" Sunset exclaimed while hovering the scroll a little too close to her eyes.
'We humbly request the assistance of the royal guard or the army as we have been informed that an ursa major has escaped the ever illusive Everfree forest because of the recent monster outbreak, and is now seemingly Tartarus bent on wreaking havock in my humble town of Gravel mane. We hope to hear from you soon,
-Mr. Mayor Stallion from the town of Gravel mane.'
"Well that doesn't really need the royal gu- AN URSA MAJOR?!?!?" Sunset practically back flipped through the air when the realization hit her. She fell on her face, instantly giving her a nose bleed.
"I... I need to tell Princess Celestia!" She said as she shot up from the ground and flew out of the library doors at lightning speeds. A few moments later a thud can be heard and a certain condiment head groaned in Annoyance, "Aughh, I think I have sa concussion." And then she promptly blacked out in the middle of the hallway.
"... Im gonna pretend I didn't see that," A certain blue mane, white coated unicorn stallion said. His sister right next to him.
We were now at the entrance of the spooky forest I nicknamed 'Everfree Jr.', I followed the bear as it walked faster through the dirt path that was cut through the forest crudely.
"If Trixie may ask, what are we doing here little cu-"
"HELP! PLEASE! SOMEPONY! *Cough*"
I looked towards the bear as it swiftly turned to me with a determined expression on it's face.
"Guessing that's the thing you want me to handle huh?" The bear nodded and walked faster, almost running.
"Please! Can somepony... Help..." The voice was slowly loosing energy as we got closer and closer. Both me and the bear went running as we heard it.
After a few intense moments of running we skidded to a halt as we came across a clearing in the forest. Well clearing was an understatement, it was more like a chunk of the trees from the forest along with the bushes were ctrl alt deleted out of existence.
In the middle of the clearing a white coated mare with a green mane laid, covered in blood and cuts. She was basically holding on for dear life at this moment. I ran towards he without thinking and pulled a spare bandage that I stole and quickly tried to do first aid on her.
"Oh thank Celestia! Somepony heard me! I swear, the moment I come back to Gravel mane I will kick Mr. Mayors fl-" She coughed up blood as she tried to end her sentence, I quickly grabbed a small canteen from my bad (That I also stole) and let her drink it, she happily obliged.
'I hope I'm doing this right, I literally didn't pay attention in Health.' I thought as I looked at the mare, now chugging away at my canteen. After a few moments she finally let go of the canteen and gasped for breath with a hearty moan.
"I really needed that, my canteen got busted up along with me, so..." She blushed in embarrassment as she played with her hooves.
"I would really like to small talk with you but my medical expertise really can't help your condition, we need to get you to a hospital ASAP." I said while slowly levitating her to my back, she tried to say something but was cut off by a roar behind the both us.
*ROARRRRRR!!!!*
We both looked backwards and saw the definition of 'Your fucking screwed' as a grown ass ursa major towered over the both of us.
"Well shi-" The wind was knocked out of me as I went flying across the clearing and tumbled on the ground, thankfully the mare was safe in my telekinesis bubble and didn't get hurt.
'If I were you, I would use that nifty dagger you nabbed.'
I shakily stood up on my hooves and wiped the blood flowing down my skull. The mare was shouting something at me but the concussion muted her for me.
"Go," The mare looked at me confused and continued to say something to me, "GO!" I shouted as I dropped her from my magic and gave her a fair amount of my excess love. Hey actually did you know I could do that? No? Well I think that was my hail Mary.
She looked apprehensive but nodded as she saw my bloodied face and started to run away with the cub in tow, "RUN FASTER! MY DEATH IS GONNA BE FUTILE IF BOTH OF US FUCKING DIES!"
I panted as soon as I finished my shout. I slowly turned my head towards the ursa major and saw it was looking towards the mare and the little bear.
*Dismantle* A shallow cut appeared on the Ursa's chest, it getting regenerated almost immediately, "HEY! SHADOW BEAR! LOOK AT ME YOU FUCKING TWAT!"
The ursa then charged towards me without warning, 'SHIT DODGE IDIOT!' I shouted to myself as I jumped towards my left, almost dodging the ursa's swipe but unfortunately for me it still connected and I was again went flying by the hit and hit a tree that was a mile away from the middle of the clearing.
'That fuckers fast...!' I thought to myself.
***WARNING!!! YOU ARE ABOUT TO DIE!***
SURVIVAL CHANCE: 0%!
ACTIVATING THE SKILL: Elements FORCEFULLY!
'FUCK! Finally! We got fucking cut off from you!'
'Shit he isn't looking goo-'
@#-*! HAS FORCIBLY DEACTIVATED ELEMENTS!
SKILL ELEMENTS IS BEING FORCEFULLY ACTI-
#$@&*! HAS FORCEFULLY DEACTIVATE ELEMENTS AND HAS BLOCKED THE HIDDEN SKILL: Helping hands!
I ignored the rapidly moving screens as they kept flashing in and out of existence, "OVERDRIVE!" I shouted
OVERDRIVE HAS BEEN FORCEFULLY DEACTIVATED!
OVERDRIVE HAS BROKEN THROUGH THE DEACTIVATION AND ACTIVATED! (Level up!)
*@#&! HAS FORCEFULLY LIMITED OVERDRIVE! 50% EFFICIENCY HAS BEEN REMOVED FORCEFULL!
SKILL: CURSED ENERGY HAS BEEN FORCEFULLY LIMITED! 99% EFFICIENCY HAS BEEN REMOVED!
SKILL: Pinkie stash! HAS BEEN FORCEFULLY DEACTIVATED AND BLOCKED!
SKILL: BEST HOOF SKILLS! HAS BEEN FORCEFULLY DEACTIVATED-
SKILL: BEST HOOF SKILLS HAS FORCIBLY BROKE THROUGH DEACTIVATION AND WILL REMAIN ACTIVE!
BEST HOOF SKILLS EFF-
BEST HOOF SKILLS HAS FORCEFULLY REMOVED THE LIMITER ON ITSELF!
BEST HOOF SKILLS HAS DAMPENED THE LIMITER ON YOUR SKILLS!
CURSED ENERGY: 98.99% LIMITED
Pinkie stash!: LIMITER DAMPENED! EXTREME CAUTION! IN YOUR CURRENT STATE YOU WILL DIE IF YOU PULL SOMETHING OUT OF YOUR MANE!
ELEMENTS: HAS NOT CHANGED!
HIDDEN SKILL HELPING HANDS!: LIMITER DAMPENED! ONLY ONE WORD CAN BE SAID AT A TIME!
OVERDRIVE: HAS NOT CHANGED
Well... This is gonna be so fun...!
'ZERO!'
NAME: RIMU
WARNING! INTERFERENCE DETECTED! INFORMATION HAS BEEN ALTERED!
A small yet powerful changeling queen, a jumper from earth, and a victim of abuse and bullying. He drowned himself in manga, MLP and games to escape his awful reality. Then, he met me. We became friends, partners.
Until one day, everything went black. I was so confused, where did Rimu go? Why was everything black again? Then I heard sounds, I felt my body getting tossed around and mangled into nothingness. It was so silent in the abyss, but I heard you again. You're cries of help, your lust for battle, your pride and happiness.
Who am I, you may ask? Well. You already know me partner. My. Name. Is.
C H A R A
'You didn't think I wouldn't forget our promise, did you partner?'
MUSIC: MEGALO STRIKES BACK V3 NITRO REMIX (optional if you guys like reading in silence like me)
A gust of wind went past me as a boulder was thrown at my side, barely missing me.
'What the FUCK?!' I scrambled to get on hooves as the ursa major charged at me like a bullet train.
***DANGER! HEALTH IS BELOW 10%! ACTIVATING HIDDEN SKILL: Games eye!***
9/100
9999/10000
'Oh you have to be fucking with me' I flailed my hooves around to male the screens infront me disappear, as they disappeared I saw a claw that was mere inches of from my head ready to take it off.
I quickly ducked as the ursa major missed it's attack, as it swung I bucked it's outstretched arm and it yelped in pain.
9989/10000
I galloped away as fast as I could as the major was still blowing at it's hand in pain.
'DISMANTLE!'
Three slashes appeared at the bear's chest, blood spewing out of the slashed areas.
9980/10000
Before I could celebrate however I felt blood gushing out of my throat from the stress that my skill put on my body.
'Well that sucks,'
'Shut up Chara for a fucking second!'
'Aw, you aren't excited to meet your best friend again?'
'No! I thought I fucking got rid of you with MLP!'
'You really thought that show was gonna shut me up? I'm not a kid Rimu.'
'YOU ARE YOU NUMBNUTS!'
Before Chara could retort, the bear suddenly appeared behind me and swung it's claws, hitting my back.
3/100
*Lucky escape! Damage reduced by 99.99%!*
'Holy fucking shit I'm about to die,'
'I could see that clearly,'
'Why the fuck are you so fucking calm?'
'Am I the down getting obliterated by a oversized constellation?'
'IF I DIE YOU FUCKING DIE TOO YOU FUCKING TWAT!'
'Eh, it's still funny.'
'DISMANTLE!' 'DISMANTLE!' 'DISMANTLE!'
A volley of slashes cut up the ursa major, blood was pretty much just flowing out of it like a river.
9900/10000
'WHY THE FUCK DOES IT DEAL SO LITTLE DAMAGE?!'
'Its because, even if it's bleeding to death, your ability makes this battle act like a game battle, your damage is pitiful.'
'WELL CAN YOU DISABLE THE LIMITERS?!'
'Dont know how to, don't care to learn how to,'
The bear charged forward at lightning speeds, barely missing it's attack as I jumped over it's claws.
'CLEAVE!'
9300/10000
'CLEAVE!' 'CLEAVE!' 'CLEAVE!'
8700/10000 8400/10000 8100/10000
*WARNING! OVERUSE OF CURSED ENERGY! 50% HP WILL BE DEDUCTED!*
'Gh!'
1.5/100
I tumbled across the gigantic bear's fluffy back as I struggled to regain my footing as everything started to get blurrier and blurrier.
I snapped out of my haze and steeled myself. I chomped down on the bears back with my strangely sharp teeth and tore off a piece of it's flesh.
'Hm~ tangy with a tinge of citrus'
'You're clinically insane,'
8099/10000
2/100
I back flipped off the bear's back and screamed out to the bear, "HEY CHUCKLENUTS! THAT'S THE BEST YOU CAN DO-"
The bear cut me off with a sudden round house kick hitting me square in the chest.
'IT CAN KICK?!'
*LUCKY SAVE! 99.99% DAMAGE HAS BEEN DEDUCTED!*
1/100
The bear was now on top of my body, salivating heavily.
'Fortune favors the fucking bold!'
"RYOIKI TENKAI!"
"FUTUMA MIZUSHI!"
*SMACK!*
The ursa major was smacked by the rather fast blur of the boney shrine. The bear did summersaults in the air and hit it's head on the very same tree I hit a minute ago.
7800/10000
"■ FUGA!"
*WARNING OVERUSE OF CURSED ENERGY-*
A pillar of flame erupted up from my hooves and I contorted the very flame to use as a bow and arrow. Without hesitation I shot the arrow towards the now charging ursa major.
Before I could do anymore damage I felt a sudden throbbing pain in my chest. I slowly looked at my chest with a horrified expression plastered on my face.
There was a claw in my chest.
'Well. I had a good run,'
0/100
YOU HAVE DIED!
The dark murky flowing dome finally let up as I ran towards the forest. Only one pony could do that move, and I did not like that it seemingly stopped before it disappeared.
I galloped as fast as I could as I remembered Trixie's words echo in my head,
"Trixie will go out for a walk for a bit, I feel like a have a headache."
I swear to Celestia Trixie, if you get hurt, a headache is gonna be the least of your worries.
TEN MINUTES BEFORE
"Help! Somepony!" A mare shouted as she carried a bear on her back, "Somepony is fighting an ursa major!"
Starlight stopped her frantic searching of Trixie as she heard the shouts, a very tired Mr. Mayor behind her, almost dying from exhaustion.
"WHO'S FIGHTING THE URSA MAJOR?" Starlight grabbed the mare and shook her with excessive force, Mr. Mayor put a hoof on her shoulder and shouted.
"MS. GLIMMER! Please stop shaking my friend," Starlight looked over to Mr. Mayor with a confused expression.
"You mean the same friend who angered the ursa major?" Starlight asked. Mr. Mayor nodded quickly.
Before any of them could say anything, a sudden gust of wind grabbed their attention. A black murky flowing dome covered a part of the forest near them.
"The same ursa major... That Trixie is currently fighting against..." Mr. Mayor nodded, a lot slower this time.
Starlight took in deep and sophisticated breathes. In and out. In and ou- Oh fuck this.
Starlight grabbed the mare again and shook her with twice more force as she did before, "WHERE IS TRIXIE?!"
"She's at the middle of lush forest!" The mare was now drooling blood on Starlight's coat due to her shaking. Before Starlight could ask more questions a sudden paw was put on one of her hoofs.
Starlight looked towards the paw and saw a little purple, translucent bear with stars. Starlight froze for a second. And a second more. And a minute.
"And... You brought... It's... CUB?!?!?!"
"Now calm down Ms. Glimmer-" Mr. Mayor tried to say but was cut off with a glare from Starlight.
"Now how would I be calm when an ursa major is currently killing one of my friends!?" Starlight picked the mare up with her magic along with the cub and put them right in Mr. Mayor's face, "While this mare has it's CUB!"
"She- she was still alive when I last saw her-" The mare tried to say.
"WHEN YOU LAST SAW HER! THAT'S THE IMPORTANT DETAIL! WHEN. YOU. LAST. SAW. HERRRRRRR!" Starlight was now going into a panic mode that's unique to very smart people, the panic mode is nicknamed the 'Twilight mode' due to the uh... Similarities to Twilight when she panics.
Guess all smart people are the same when they panic. Ahem.
Starlight was pacing around in circles infront of the almost dead mare and muttering something about 'how to revive the dead'. Mr. Mayor could only sigh and stretched a hoof out to his friend that was now laying on her stomach with her tongue out.
"Let me help you up Health pack," Mr. Mayor said while sighing.
"Please do..." Health pack replied while closing her eyes. She grabbed onto Mr. Mayor's hoof and pulled herself up. Now opening her eyes, she looked at the flailing Starlight with a concerned expression. Starlight was shouting profanities at the stars while spinning in circles.
"Is she... Okay?" Health pack asked.
"Well... In her eyes, her friend got herself killed by an ursa major to save you and you brought it's cub, and the ursa major is gonna come here, kill of us, and her friends sacrifice will be in vain." Mr. Mayor explained while cleaning his dirty glasses. He forgot to put them on this morning.
Health pack looked on with guilt as she processed what her friend just told her, "So... She thinks her friend is dead?"
"Well, nopony ever survived an ursa major attack in one piece, so she has a right to assume that." Mr. Mayor put on his glasses and corrected it only a few moments after.
"But the last I saw of her friend, she was holding her own against the ursa major!" Health pack said with confusion.
"Even the weakest of creatures can go hoof to hoof with an ursa major even if it's only for a second,"
Health pack was holding her tears as she finally finished processing the situation. Before she could say something, a sudden pillar of flame reached out towards the heavens. The flame was from the black dome from the forest. All three of them was left in shock at the size of the pillar.
Starlight however smiled after the shock wore off and grabbed the very bored bear cub off Health pack's back and galloped off towards the pillar, "I NEED TO BORROW THIS LITTLE GUY! I'LL GIVE THEM BACK TO THE URSA MAJOR SO WE ALL DON'T DIE!" Starlight said while giggling like a maniac.
"... You think she's alright in the head?" Health pack asked the emotionless Mayor.
"Nope,"
'So... He's dead.'
'Maybe I should've actually helped hi-'
A sudden blast was heard from behind Chara in Rimu's mindscape, she turned around to see what made the blast and she saw two figures running at full speeds towards her.
One was bipedal, had red hair and what looked like tattoos on his face, the other one was much like Rimu's pony form but without the holes and with a lot less color. Both blitzed Chara and tackled her to the 'ground'.
Hey what gives?
What gives is that you need to remove Rimu's limiters!
Or I will kill you,
I'm already dead you bafoon, Rimu is too.
Both of them wore a shocked expression on their face.
You fucking with me?
Chara only shook her head with her eyes closed.
I'm gonna do unspeakable crimes to you.
Hold on! Hold on! Chara sat back up and put one of her hands on both of their faces.
I may have a plan to revive Rimu,
...
You fucking with me?
Chara shook her head again.
Tell. Me. The. Plan.
Fine! Fine! Sheeesh, Chara pulled out a hologram of Rimu's unconscious body out of her pocket and put it down on the ground with a little pat.
Okay, so right now this is what Rimu looks like
Infront of them the hologram showed a very much dead and mangled corpse of Rimu, laying flat on his stomach. His stomach and other organs laid besides him on the ground.
I would say I'm gonna throw up but I've done much worse and seen much worse
I think I'm gonna be sick...
Chara pulled out a trash can out of nowhere and handed it to the stallion, the stallion happily took it and barfed rainbows into the trash can.
Dude your a tyrant how are you puking at this?
I'm not a tyrant dumbass! That's my main timeline counterpart!
Can we focus please?
Both of them stopped their argument and stated at Chara attentively.
So here's the plan.
First, we need to 'wake up' Rimu. We can do that by jolting his soul and making it where Zero can actually 'revive' him.
After that we need to take control of his body since it's so mangled. If Rimu tries to control his body like with the Hydra, he's gonna fuck up and die again.
Third, and most importantly. We need to kill the ursa major.
Good plan and all, but how can we trust you?
Yeah! Since you're the fucking one who got him killed!
Chara played with her thumbs in embarrassment.
Well I was just gonna force him to say he loves me to fuck with him and have him use my power but.....
He didn't want to?
Well more like he didn't know that he was supposed to do that.
Chara looked rather sheepish with her explanation.
So you're telling me, that you got him KILLED,
Chara nodded.
So he can confess his feelings that may or may not exist?
It was supposed to be a prank okay? His younger self would immediately say that so I figured to tease him a bit and make him say it again!
A shitty prank by the looks of it,
Oh shut it walmart kuruma,
Hey wait weren't the other's just behind us?
Chara and Cursed looked at Sombra with confusion.
Then why aren't they here?
There's fucking more of you?
Before Sombra could reply to the both of them, another sudden explosion rang out from behind the three of them.
YEEHAW!
COMING THROUGH!
WHERE'S THE EVIL VILLIAN? Gasp! She's right there!
Oh my mane! My beautiful mane just ruined!
Um... Excuse me...
WHERE'S THE PONY WHO DISABLED US?
AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO RIMU?
And can I have some aspirin?
*BONK!*
Ow! What gives?
You we're supposed to do a cool speech like us!
Oh. Ahem.
AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY PORN STASH?
*Facepalm*
A whole herd of ponies broke through the smoke left by the explosion. Cursed and Sombra looked on with confusion while Chara looked utterly horrified.
Holy shit why is there so many of you?
Magic
Oh fuck off connor McGregor with tattoos on his face
Chara was suddenly tackled to the ground by six ponies, the other two was arguing on good speeches, and I mean argue I meant a one sided beatdown.
WHERE IS RIMU?
YEAH! AND IF YOU DON'T ANSWER IN A SECOND I'LL RIP YOUR TITS OFF!
Dash, that ain't appropriate and mighty rude.
SHE ALMOST GOT RIMU KILLED!
Still darling, we need to compose out selves,
Aughhhhhhhhhhhhh
This was gonna be loooooooooong 'day' for Chara. Man, she only wanted to fuck with Rimu, now she's getting dog piled by eight mares with powers.
Well... Time for a little more explaining.
Starlight galloped faster and faster, not letting the ache in her legs affect her running speed. The ursa cub was on her back grabbing on for dear life as she ran.
After running for what felt like years, Starlight came across a large clearing in the middle of the forest. She looked around the area with caution, as she did she suddenly felt a large gust wind above her. As she looked up, she could only look on with horror at what she saw.
Trixie's very much dead body was flying through the air as a ursa major jumped towards the body, almost treating it like a toy.
"I'm... Gonna... Be... Si-" Starlight tried to say but she stooped. Putting down the cub that she had on her back, she ran towards a nearby bush and vomited her breakfast, lunch, yesterday's dinner, you know the drill.
After a few painful moments, Starlight came back looking disheveled and grabbed the very bored ursa cub and placed them on her back without a word. Starlight looked on to the Ursa major infront of her that was currently mauling the remains of her friend.
"Well... That's... Sad." Starlight slowly backed away from the ursa major. She decided that handing over the ursa cub to the ursa major would be a bad idea. While backing up, Starlight accidentally stepped on a branch and...
*Crack!*
The ursa major turned it's head towards Starlight, a certain glint in it's eyes.
"Oh you have to be kidding me," Starlight put up as many shields as she could as she saw the ursa major charge towards her at full speeds, she braced for the impact, but it never came. She opened her eyes and was very confused at what she saw.
She saw multiple blue pegasi holding the ursa's arm. After a closer look, she found out that none of the pegasi where real, all of them were illusions, but illusions couldn't hold back an ursa major, right?
The ursa major struggled to gain an inch of ground as the pegasi seemingly stuck to it like glue. It was growling at Starlight and the cub on her back.
"E R A S E,"
Starlight was stunned at the sudden voice behind the ursa, but she was even more stunned at what happened to said ursa major.
Half of it's body was seemingly erased, blood was nowhere to be found as she saw the innards of the ursa. In a blink of an eye, the ursa's missing half suddenly appeared.
She tried to speak but was interrupted by another voice, this time behind her.
"Don't panic! We're here to help!"
She slowly turned her head to see a cyan pegasus mare with a rainbow mane smiling at her.
"Who... Who are-"
"That's not important sugarcube," An orange earth pony mare said besides the cyan one, "Remember dash, she's ah friend of Ri- Trixie, so treat her with some respect please?"
"I am treating her with respect! She just looks like she saw a ghost!"
"She technically did," Another voice said besides them. Starlight looked towards the new voice and examined the mare. The mare was very similar to her, both had some shade of purple in their coat, both had a very dark indigo in their mane and both had blue accent to accompany the indigo. The only difference was this mare's hair is straight, while her's was curly.
"Why is she looking at me like that?" The purple mare whispered to the cyan pegasus.
"Twilight, you do know you do that too right? You do the exact same thing Starlight is doing right now when you meet a new pony," Dash replied to Twilight, or she thinks so anyways, she doesn't know their names fully.
All four of them heard a growl, they turned around to the ursa major, now only a mere feet infront of them.
"Uh, Dash? I thought yah said Chara's constructs could hold 'em for a bit using your power?" The orange mare said to Dash.
"Well that's what she did say- Wait, horseapples! Applejack, we need to check up on Chara!" Dash said go Applejack. Starlight is confused, very confused right now. Who are these mare's? Who's Chara? And why do they know Trixie?
"Aw shucks! Horseapples, Twi!" Applejack shouted to Twilight.
"Yeah AJ?"
"We just left Chara all alone, with no pony to look at her!"
"Yeah...?"
"SHE HAS CONTROL OF TRIXIE'S BODY TWI!"
"Still don't know what you mean-" Twilight was cut off by sudden thump off into the distance. All of them looked over to the source of the noise and saw the ursa major laying down on it's back three miles away from them. Before any of them could say anything, a sudden fit of laughter was heard at their side.
"BWAHAHAHAHA! THIS BODY'S AWESOME! COME ON! STAND UP BEAR! FIGHT ME AGAIN!" Trixie said while holding a knife and licking it, "I need a taste of Lv after all these years!"
Trixie suddenly, without warning rushed towards the dazed bear in the distance. Twilight hung her mouth open as Dash and Applejack looked at her with a glare that says: 'Told you'.
"... Okay I get what you mean now,"
"Oh now you get it?" A stallion appeared behind them holding a plastic cup and a popcorn bag with his magic, "Should've listened to me when I asked to watch over her, but nooooo, she's good now! She won't cause trouble!"
"ERASE!"
Starlight was looking at the four of them with utter confusion. Where did that stallion come from? And why does he have a popcorn bag? Before she could ask however, the cyan pegasus spoke up.
"Okay, we need to deal with Chara now, just amazing!" Dash starts to stretch her wings and let out a slight moan as she did, "Hey Starlight?"
"I-huh-uh- yeah?"
"When this is done, take care fo Trixie, okay? She's... important to all of me... And my friends, and don't try any funny business with him okay! We will know!"
"What Rainbow here means, is that she likes Trixie so don't have sex with him. Now, tata!" The stallion started to push Rainbow dash away using his magic.
"HEY WHAT?! NO I DON'T - NO I- I DON'T LIKE HIM!" Rainbow went crimson while trying to explain herself, and also trying to fly away from the stallion's magic.
"Yeah, yeah, keep telling yourself that Dashie, ain't gonna help your bubbling feelings for the dork,"
Rainbow dash shouted profanities at the dark stallion, the stallion using silence magic so she would shut up.
"We really need to get goin', Starlight we're sorry but yah' on yah' own for now," Applejack said while a guilty look on her face.
"Yeah, We kinda royally bucked up so see ya! Oh and Rainbow's right, Trixie's important to all of us, very important. And even more important to Rainbow, take care of him will you?" Twilight said while slowly trotting off behind Applejack. Both of them suddenly galloped as they tried to catch up to the smaller and smaller black and blue dot, who's trying to catch up to a small purple dot and an even smaller black dot.
