Sweet Button Mash

by David Silver

5 - Classics

Scootaloo swept the controller in a wild combination of directions and buttons. Sweetiebot's eyes were wide, information flashing before her eyes. "The odds," she gasped out as her avatar flew across the screen, defeated.

She slumped. "I have lost."

Scootaloo turned on the defeated pony, smirk on her lips, though her victorious smirk faded on seeing Sweetiebot. "Hey, uh… good game?"

Sweetiebot made various beeps and clicks. "Calculating… The game was good. The final move." She stood up. "It was not in my database. Please explain."

Scotaloo huffed softly. "Silly bot. There are all kinds of versions of this game." She bonked the game with a hoof. "This one has a little trick to it…"

Button Mash's eyes widened. "Woah, wait! Since when did you know awesome secret moves?!"

Scotaloo punched Button in the shoulder. "Don't go assuming what a filly knows. That's how you lose."

"Data added." Sweetiebot nodded. "I will not lose to that move again. Congratulations on your victory."

Scootaloo perked an ear at the automaton. "I'm really not sure if you're being a good sport or not…"

Sweetiebot blinked, processing Scootaloo's bemused reaction. She carefully reviewed footage of her response to her unexpected defeat...finding no obvious errors relative to good sportsmanship principles in her Friendship Archives.

"I apologize if my tone conveyed otherwise - you were clearly the superior player!" She smiled earnestly. "Therefore, you achieved well-earned victory." Extending a hoof, she added "I am still assimilating nuance differentiating sincerity and sarcasm. Please accept this as genuine acknowledgment of your gaming skill exceeding mine!"

Scootaloo stared another moment, then finally grinned back and bumped the offered hoof. "Heh, you're alright Botsy. For a super nerd bot." Her playful pride fading to curiosity, Scoot peered closer at the robot.

"But seriously - what the heck happened?? I used a pretty advanced combo but you STILL almost dodged it! Nopony keeps up with me on that." She scuffed the carpet, abashed. "I uh, maybe heh practice a LOT..."

Sweetiebot giggled - further reassuring data that her sportsmanship hadn't caused offense. "I am uniquely responsive to fast gameplay dynamics thanks to Bryson Optronic reflex circuity allowing millisecond analysis and motion calculation!" She pointed proudly to the controller ports. "I have recorded your gameplay extensively for review to expand that database against unknown attack patterns!"

Scootaloo's eyes bugged out. "Whoa...so you actually LEARN combos on the fly?? That is SO AWESOME!" Grabbing Sweetiebot's hooves, she stared intensely into her eyes. "Button! We HAVE to get her into more fighter tournaments!!!"

Sweetie Belle facehoofed while Apple Bloom fell over cackling. Button however was suddenly locked in the same intense gaze with Scootaloo - this robot just kept unlocking new potentials!!! "Ohmygosh YES!!!" he gushed back. "Sweetiebot we are for SURE training you up to sweep regional competitions!!!"

The robot in question blinked innocently between her eager teammates, but quickly surmised this was a positive bonding trajectory around her capabilities. Combat sport applications remained convoluted...but further research clearly warranted! "Affirmative!" Sweetiebot agreed brightly. "I will integrate a dedicated Mortal Wormbat study regimen for optimized performance gains!"

Button Mash rubbed awkwardly at an arm. "Don't wanna be the wet blanket or nothing… but pretty sure Sweetiebot would be cheating if we put her in a contest."

Sweetie Belle blinked at Button. "Wow… That… was surprisingly mature of you." She pat Sweetiebot gently on the head. "He's not wrong. But we know you're awesome, and that's good enough."

“I’m actually impressed that Scootaloo could beat her!” Button grinned in reply. “Mortal Wormbat is all about ballistic angles, and in game physics, and well… math. And Sweetiebot is literally a machine built for computation, and Scootaloo…”

“Hey! Just because I’m not a huge nerd doesn’t mean I’m ignorant!” Scootaloo jumped in defensively. “I play buck ball… in the earth pony position! I understand how angles work!”

Sweetiebot nodded in agreement. "The organic processor is quite capable of angular calculations at a speed that artificial processors struggle to keep up with." She tapped at the side of her metal head. "It required 95% of my processing power to keep up and I had several advantages on my side."

She dipped her head at Scootaloo. "I accept your victory. Can we play again?"

Scootaloo beamed proudly as Sweetiebot confirmed her skills. "You BET Botsy! I'll teach ya all my sick moves." Leaning in conspiratorially, she whispered, "Then, once you master those, we figure out how to get around the contest cheating thing!"

Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes indulgently. Typical Scootaloo not letting anything stop her competitive dreams! Still, her robot twin's driving motivation to learn made for quite the endearing character trait.

"Well, before you two take on the global FGC, we still have a whole arcade to explore!" Button piped up excitedly. Practically vibrating with enthusiasm, he grabbed Sweetiebot's hoof. "C'mon, there's so much to experience!"

Apple Bloom chuckled as the group moved on through vibrant rows of blinking machines. "Y'all gotta show Sweetiebot ALL the classics!" Scootaloo snorted. "Please, no way she wants boring old 'Space Mare Invaders' or 'Neightropolis City'!"

Sweetiebot's eyebrows shot up as archived vintage title references triggered. "On the contrary! Retro gaming provides invaluable context on foundational mechanics." Zooming over to an aging console, she eagerly tapped the screen. "We must pay respects to the pioneers of performative experimentation across electronic entertainment!"

The sprite-y graphics of the old classic sprang to life as a blocky mare blinked back ready for quarter input. Sweetiebot gazed lovingly at the simplistic system like it held the secrets of the universe...which to her dedicated gaming mind it surely did! "What historical easter eggs might we uncover in revisiting gaming antiquity..." she whispered reverently.

The group just blinked blankly. Sweetie Belle facehoofed. Yup, two peas in a pod those two! "Welp, enjoy your archeology dig or whatever!" Scootaloo snarked. "Imma hit the racing simulator. Later nerdbots!" She zipped off.

Sweetie sighed indulgently then grinned over at the console odd couple. "Have fun you two! We'll catch up in a bit." With that she trotted off after Scootaloo. Apple Bloom tipped her hat and followed suit.

"C'mon Button, let's analyze these relics ALL DAY!" Sweetiebot cheered. Button laughed giddily. "External chronometer locked - it's explore o'clock!" The pair soon had their heads together, scrutinizing pixelated wonders of yesteryear to their hearts content...

“You know.” Button smiled conspiratorially at his metal companion. "It’s actually possible to beat Pac Mare. It’s kinda the first video game with an actual ending… albeit accidental.”

“I was not in fact aware of this.” Sweetiebot intensely navigated the maze, consuming pellets and avoiding ghosts.

“It’s actually super cool!” Button nodded enthusiastically. “Because the ponies who programmed Pac Mare didn’t make the ending the game itself did! The computer that ran the game only had so much memory so they only used one byte to number all the levels. Each level was just the same maze becoming progressively more challenging, and the programmers didn’t think it was possible for any player to beat two hundred and fifty-five levels. So when some player did, the game itself had to try to make a level two hundred and fifty six. Which is a weird glitch maze, totally unwinnable, but also the ultimate victory screen.”

Sweetiebot inclined her head several precise inches in either direction. "Does not compute. That is not an ending. That is an error. Why was it accepted as an ending? There were no credits. Error, there wasn't even a congratulatory message."

Button let out an excited little squee seeing Sweetiebot so intently focused. Even if she didn't get it yet, just sharing this gaming history with his meticulous metal companion felt special.

"Well it WAS totally just a glitch back then," he explained enthusiastically. "Nopony expected that outcome! So when early players managed it, seeing the weird jumbled up 256th maze was like...'whoa, I triumphed over what even the programmers thought was possible!'"

Kneeling, Button traced a circle in the carpet absently as he talked. "So even with no fanfare, breaking the limits felt REAL neat. The ultimate brag! So it became legend."

Sweetiebot frowned thoughtfully as archived media documentation flashed through her visual processors. "I see. So veteran users generated emergent value from the anomaly." She tapped her chin. "Similar to sequence breaks or 0% runs..."

"Exactly!" Button bounced excitedly that she was making connections across gaming history’s quirks. Taking her hooves, he explained further.

"Even today beating old unfinished games feels great! So that Pac Mare crack? Still a landmark goal." He nodded to the console where the fruits of illogical ambition still tempted players. "Topping the unplanned unbeatable? That's like, SUPER satisfying gaming magic!"

HUD elements flickered wildly as Sweetiebot registered this perspective shift. Creative player interpretation imbuing richer meaning...how fascinating! She broke into a wide smile.

"In that case, observing this foundational title to conclusion does seem important!" Turning back to the maze, she slotted another quarter. "Let us pay our respects by achieving maximum score through pattern efficiency analysis!" Sweetiebot cheered eagerly.

Button pumped a hoof. "Couldn't have said it better myself!" Laughing together, the two odd gamers fell into gleefully exploiting retro arcade scripting for all its hidden wonders, content in their own little pixelated world...

“I’ve got this!” Sweetie bot poured all her processing power into the game in front of her. “Not today, Blinkie!”

Button hung by, at a safe distance, to not interfere with the metal filly’s concentration. Holding back further commentary. This was a run on the legend. Beating the first game that could actually be beaten. The pair were so engrossed they didn’t even notice the gathering crowd.

The other ponies didn't seem to notice that Sweetiebot was just that, cheering her on as she played with a methodic precision only a robot could match. Every move she made, perfectly ideal in accordance to the information she could gather.

Ultimately, PacMare ran on very specific, and not even complicated rules. It stood no chance against her as she laid level after level to waste, showing no… "Power failure imminent."

Button squeaked. "What? Now?!" He looked to the other ponies, but they were cheering wildly, ignorant of what was happening. "Oh no," he cried dramatically. "What an awful time for a stomach ache!" He grabbed Sweetiebot, dragging her away. "Come with me!"

The crowd gave a collective boo, but what could they do, in the end, when a player had an upset belly?

The dismayed arcaders' disappointed groans trailed off into baffled whispers and confused looks as Button frantically dragged his malfunctioning friend through the gaming haven. What could be so urgent about a common stomachache that required interrupting a historic gaming attempt?

"Almost...there..." Button panted, glancing around nervously for scowling staff as he hustled Sweetiebot out the fire exit. Luckily they encountered no resistance escaping into the alley alongside the building.

"Whew! Made it!" catching his breath, Button looked over his robotic companion with brows knit in concern. "What happened Sweetiebot? Why'd your power cut off all of a sudden??"

The automaton smiled sheepishly as warning symbols blinked in her optics. "It seems my prolonged peak processing to maximize gameplay efficiency overtaxed core energy distribution well beyond expected operating parameters..." She opened an access panel on her side - various components were indeed flashing urgent alerts.

"I failed to adequately throttle back during sustained concentration. Apologies!" Looking to her creator pleadingly, she asked "Do we have sufficient replacement electrolytic capacitors and electrons on hoof for a field refuel?" More system critical damage warnings blinked insistently.

Button facehoofed with an anxious mix of amusement and frustration. "Oh Sweetiebot...we REALLY gotta work on your whole moderation thing!" Still, the spark of pure joy she'd displayed back there conquering gaming's storied past had been truly beautiful to behold. He gave her an affectionate pat.

"C'mon, let's get my overeager bot back up to speed! Then we'll figure out how to sneak you back inside hehe..." Not that he'd even thought to make backup batteries…

Author's Note:

Sweetiebot needs to be plugged in and tucked into bed.

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Comments

[Booster Spice]

Button couldve asked Pinkie. Im sure she has emergancy charging leads stashed around town for robot freind recharging emergancies.

Now SweetieBot gets to play The Ultimate Game.

Survival of power of self against limited reality resources. In this game, you fail, its Game Over. One life only.

[SuperPinkBrony12]

Ah battery life, the bane of every electronic technological advancement ever.

[Draco Dei]

"Then, once you master those, we figure out how to get around the contest cheating thing!"

While they might need to pick a different game, I wonder if they will think of TAS (tool assisted speed-running) or similar exhibition matches... or maybe a 2+ vs 2+ team game with, say, Pippsqueak (AKA a very young Pony) as her partner. Unlike other possible handicaps one could use for an exhibition match, that would require her to adapt even more on the fly, to support an erratic partner, rather than simply playing in a pre-determined perfect manner. Reacting to a partner might require more social intelligence than only reacting to one or more opponents, although learning an opponent's play style is a valid application of social analysis...

Just some guesses, or MAYBE even suggestions...

[Draco Dei]

“It’s actually super cool!” Button nodded enthusiastically. “Because the ponies who programmed Pac Mare didn’t make the ending the game itself did! The computer that ran the game only had so much memory so they only used one byte to number all the levels. Each level was just the same maze becoming progressively more challenging, and the programmers didn’t think it was possible for any player to beat two hundred and fifty-five levels. So when some player did, the game itself had to try to make a level two hundred and fifty six. Which is a weird glitch maze, totally unwinnable, but also the ultimate victory screen.”

Not sure if any flesh and blood player has done this IRL... but a Bot almost certainly has... My guess may pay off sooner than I thought... I hope that if losing after reaching the kill-screen does not.restore proper.functionality, unplugging and plugging the cabinet back in is sufficient? It might take years of allowance to pay the arcade owner back otherwise... or perhaps some exhibition matches to draw in customers? ...but I suspect the kill screen doesn't over-write any data that is supposed to be permanent.

"Well it WAS totally just a glitch back then," he explained enthusiastically. "Nopony expected that outcome! So when early players managed it, seeing the weird jumbled up 256th maze was like...'whoa, I triumphed over what even the programmers thought was possible!'"

Ah, not QUITE so impressive.for her to pull off then...

The other ponies didn't seem to notice that Sweetiebot was just that, cheering her on as she played with a methodic precision only a robot could match. Every move she made, perfectly ideal in accordance to the information she could gather.

As an insane guy from the Borderlands series (2 I think?) would think to himself in the remaining sane part of of his brain: "Heh... close enough."

...the ending does not negate anything I said.

[EquesTRON]

11801034

Not sure if any flesh and blood player has done this IRL... but a Bot almost certainly has...

It has, in fact, been done by a handful of players IRL. The "split screen" has been known since the 1980s. It's just very difficult to do, especially if you're not playing on a machine with the original ROMs. (After several books came out documenting the exact patterns needed to beat each level, Namco and Bally/Midway issued a couple of ROM upgrades to arcade operators which altered the ghosts' behavior to make them less predictable.)

I hope that if losing after reaching the kill-screen does not restore proper functionality, unplugging and plugging the cabinet back in is sufficient?

Not necessary. It doesn't actually "kill" the machine and render it inoperable -- it's just that the level is un-finishable because you can't eat enough dots to make it advance to the next one. (The game doesn't consider the level finished until 244 dots have been eaten, and there are only 114 dots on the intact left-hand side of the maze.) So, all you need to do, once you reach that point, is just let the ghosts keep catching you until you run out of lives, and the game will declare "GAME OVER" and reset itself back to the normal attract mode.

....but I suspect the kill screen doesn't over-write any data that is supposed to be permanent.

It doesn't. In fact, it can't -- the program code is stored in ROM, or Read-Only Memory which, as the name says, can't be written to. An old-school ROM is like a stone tablet; once the data is chiseled into it, you can't "un-chisel" it and put different data in its place.

[tsaukpaetra]

Keeping bare electrons outside a sustaining media is difficult, which is why they're usually instead stored as potential. Refueling performance can be improved with more efficient storage. Time for a Ponyade? Silly Button, novice mistake executing an extended field test without preparation. Foals will be foals!