Brilliant Sunburst

by David Silver

5 - I Put on My Robe and Wizard Hat

Sunburst considered herself, adjusting her cloak as she turned. "Like this..." Yes, the cloak was fine.

She raised her eyes towards her mane. "But this is missing something..."

She tapped at her chin. "All good wizards... They have a hat!" Sure, Twilight didn't have a hat, or a robe, but she could be forgiven for discovering Friendship as a magic type.

Sunburst didn't have that to fall back on. "Hat time!" she sang out as she cantered out her front door, magic pulling the door shut behind her. "With a nice tip."

Ears perked, Sunburst made her way through the glittering crystal bazaar. An astonishing array of hats rested on display, from simple woven caps to towering exotic confections sporting gaudy fake gems and feathers.

"Can I assist you, miss?" An elder crystal shopkeeper noted her intrigued glances.

"Oh I'm just...browsing options," Sunburst offered a slightly self-conscious smile. Declaring outright her newfound wish to adorn herself felt oddly vulnerable before a stranger.

"Well, there's no rush dear! Try some on - a lovely mare deserves to treat herself." The pony returned Sunburst's hesitant grin with kind encouragement.

With slightly more confidence, Sunburst began selecting various styles, giggling at herself in a dangling mirror. A smart navy and silver trimmed tricorn felt fitting her bookish personality.

"Ooh, I quite like this dashing look actually!" Sunburst declared. In the reflection she spied passing crystal ponies doing surprised double takes. While she flushed, warmth also bloomed in her chest. Let others see the spring in her step today!

She paid a few bits to the shopkeeper. "Thank you."

"You're quite welcome." The shopkeep tucked the coins away. "Now, don't mean to pry... But I thought you were a stallion?"

"Yeah...." Sunburst struggled to think of a retort to that. "I did too!" Honest! "We were both wrong."

The shopkeep laughed at that, slapping the top of the table with her hoof. "I suppose we were. You look like you're having a nice day, so enjoy that hat."

New hat perched proudly atop her head, Sunburst set out for the gleaming crystal train station, saddlebags swaying. She'd packed lightly for this trip down memory lane - only change of clothes, some snacks Cadence had foisted upon her, and a few books to pass the time.

The ticket agent did a brief double take at first but recovered smoothly. As Sunburst settled into her seat, snippets of the mare helping other passengers flickered over.

"Come right this way sir! Yes, the crystal mage turned crystaler. Foalsits Princess Flurry now! Can you imagine? Though I guess stranger things happen..."

Sunburst hid her smirk behind a hoof as the train glided out towards Sire's Hollow. Whatever rumors floated around the Empire these days, she felt only eagerness to share her discoveries with Mom. Surprising the unflappable Stellar Flare might finally be possible!

She tried her best to balance her giddy little motions of how it'd play out with actually reading the books she brought. Magic brougth a whole new level of excitement.

Not only could she read and understand them, she could do that already. But she felt increasingly confident she could, with practice, actually cast those spells. Her horn had never been happier since her change. She was a wizard.

A wizard with a fine hat. She giggled anew, reaching up to feel along her new pointed hat with a satisfied smile.

The time flew past, the trip feeling like it was just starting when they pulled up at Sire's Hollow. "Home." She bounced up to her hooves, tucking her things away. "Ready or not, here I come."

But was Stellar Flare ready? Sunburst's next step was hesitant. What if she reacted badly?

She stepped off the train, nodding to the conductor on the way. She had arrived. There was Sire's Hollow. She walked up and opened the gate.

"Welcome to Sire's Hollow," pleasantly greeted the recorded line.

Sunburst snorted at that. "I thought she changed that." She went past it and closed the gate behind her. "Loses its charm so fast." But she wasn't focused on that, instead advancing into the town.

Sunburst's pace slowed taking in shopfronts and houses of her youth. How small it all seemed now, quaint and sleepy under the valley's embrace. Had the buildings shrunk or had she simply outgrown the confines that once defined her world?

"Well split my stones! If it isn't little Sunny?" A teal earth mare waved eagerly from her garden.

"Auntie Azure!" Sunburst trotted over to accept the hair mussing and hearty hug. "Still tending your famous petunias I see!"

"Never too old for my beauties here." Azure held Sunburst at hoof's length. "Let me look at ya...yer all grown up!" If she noted Sunburst's altered look, she politely didn't let on. "Yer mom know you're visiting?"

"Heading there now actually," Sunburst smiled, warmth swelling at this uncomplicated affection. "Any new town gossip you can prep me with on the way?"

Auntie Azure laughed heartily. "Always got the inside scoop for my godfilly..."

Auntie Azure cleared her throat. "Well, since the last time you visited, those two have calmed down. I'd hesitate to say they're best friends, but they stopped arguing on the road, so I'll take that."

Sunburst flashed a bright smile. "That's really great to hear." Her parent and Starlight's had been arguing quite a bit last time they visited. "Oh... Maybe I shoulda brought Starlight along..." It was too late for that.

Azure waved along. "Your mother will never forgive me if I hold you up even a moment longer. Off with ya!"

"Yes, yes." That didn't stop her from smooching Auntie Azure's cheek one last time in fare well before she sped her way home. "Here we... are."

There was that door, crisp, clean, and solidly in the way. "Just a little knock."

She glanced around, but no help was coming. She had to do it herself... "Come on..." She raised a hoof and knocked firmly, hoof shaking the whole time.

"Who is it?" came form deep within. Steps came closer. "Coming." Stellar opened the door. "Hello, how... Who?" She inclined her head, mystery playing on her face before a frown came in, driving it away. "Sunburst...?"

That had not been the joyful sighting Sunburst had hoped for. "Um, hi? Yep, it's me." Sunburst turned slowly. "Ta da...?"

Stellar's horn glew brightly as she yanked Sunburst inside and slammed the door shut behind her. "No."

"No?"

Stellar drove a hoof down. "No. No. No! No...."

Sunburst crashed to her haunches, ears going limp. "Mom?"

"I have a son." She glared at Sunburst with fire in her eyes. "I paid good bits to see to that."

Sunburst flinched, ears wilting under her mother's glare. Expectations between them suddenly clearer, less rosy.

"I didn't know my changes would cause such distress..." she managed. "Believe me, becoming a mare wasn't planned. But I've been trying to embrace-"

"Embrace?" Stellar cut her off sharply. "Have you heard nothing I ever told you of propriety? Of everything opportunity demands sacrificing?" She paced, tail lashing. "First you refuse career options to hide away studying, now this! Why must you fight me at every turn?"

Sunburst risked lifting her gaze, mind still reeling. Coverups and costs to make her a son? This truth jostled inside her uncertain insides. "I'm not fighting you, Mom. I'm just uncovering who I-"

"Who you were molded to be was for your own good!" Stellar snapped. "Now here we stand thanks to your impulsive whimsy!"

She turned aside, hiding suddenly wet eyes. They had always quarreled yet still she had missed her foal so...why must she go making trouble? Didn't she know best for her beloved's prosperity? Where had she gone so wrong?

"Mom... Tell me what happened." Sunburst stood up on shaking legs. "What did you pay for? What did you... do to me? If it was for my... good or not, I need to know. I need to know it all, please..."

Stellar fitfully danced from hoof to hoof, breathing hard a moment, but no shouts came, instead defeat. "I... Fine! Fine... I guess... you deserve at least that." She slumped and turned for the dining room. "Let's go sit down. Maybe some tea? Let's pretend we're not savages."

She led the way into the sunny dining room, even if she went and drew all the blinds, darkening the space. "Have a seat... I'll... tell you the story."

"Please." Sunburst could see a kettle there with some glasses. She poured herself some and took a sip. The flavor brought back memories. As much as her mother had changed with the times, her taste in tea hadn't shifted. "What happened?"

Stellar rubbed her face a moment, seated on her haunches and massaging her stabbing headache with firm presses of her hooves. "When you were born... You were not entirely a stallion, nor entirely a mare." She turned to Sunburst. "You were caught in the middle, an entirely unacceptable place to be. Now... Don't get me wrong. I love a new thing, you know that... But this was a step too far. My own foal, a freak..."

"To stand apart is no curse, Mom," Sunburst offered quietly. "Discovery and community grow richer through diversity."

Stellar flinched subtly hearing her own words thrown back so politely. She had preached such ideals often enough. But applying them closer to home had meant overturning everything she built as foundation. Easier to rationalize greater goods through small sacrifices.

"I acted in fear and frustration." Stellar sighed, gaze lowered in rare vulnerability. "You deserved better counsel than reactionary ultimatums."

Sunburst bit her lip as her own pain echoed under the words. But beneath the layers of hurt, patterns shreds of kinship still lingered. However haltingly, they were communicating now not as intractable opposites, but two seeking souls who wished better understanding between them. Perhaps that could be enough to stitch this rupture.

"We both made choices from love, however flawed," Sunburst offered gently. "Where we travel from here is what matters now..."

Stellar lifted her eyes with a wistful sheen. "Ever my compassionate conscience, my Sunbeam..." Navigating reconciliation would be slow and awkward. But seeing the depth of grace and wisdom her beloved child offered, Stellar felt the first fragile desire to try.

Sunburst shrank back. "Mom... You ruined... a lot of my life."

"I did no such thing," she hotly denied. "You're doing quite well for yourself, last I heard. Treasured caretaker of the royal foal, and arcane consultant for their family? You're not doing badly, Sunburst."

Sunburst clopped on the ground. "You... Mom. I'm..." She waved at herself. "You changed what I was, without changing who I was. I was an awkward pony... because of you. My magic didn't work right, because of you. And now... Now I wonder."

She looked back at herself. "I'm closer now, I can feel that with every hair on my body. I'm so closer... I feel like I was wearing a jacket that was too tight for all my life and somepony went and yanked it off." Sunburst chuckled tensely. "A little filly that wasn't thinking of anypony but herself... Bless her... She yanked that jacket off and I can breathe..."

Sunburst waved a hoof at her back end. "But maybe I'm not even there! You say I was something else. You paid to kill my true body... and... Mom..."

"Sunny..." Stellar rubbed one arm awkwardly with the other hoof. "Yes... You were not that." She pointed at Sunburst with the hoof that had been rubbing. "You were... Mostly a mare. The doctor said you could be a mare, mostly... But you had enough stallion to make you in the middle..."

She sighed softly. "The doctor asked which way to push you, so you wouldn't be a... So you wouldn't be strange... I picked a side." She stood up firmly. "I picked. I had to. You weren't going to, that young. I didn't want you being raised as a strange pony. I didn't want your friends, if you ever had any, looking at you strangely."

"I picked, Sunburst. I had to."

Author's Note:

This chapter kicked me in the feels... 3/14
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Comments

[Emtu]

My initial guess was that Sunburst was originally born female, Stellar wanted a son instead, and Flurry just reverted the change.

I was half right.

[Seven Fates]

unburst flinched, ears wilting under her mother's glare. Expectations between them suddenly clearer, less rosy.

There's an 'unburst' in there that should be Sunburst.

Also... Huh. I didn't expect to be partially right... but instead of simply wanting, it was choosing one or the other for an intersex child. Interesting, but also sad.

[David Silver]

11766011
Fixed, dang typos.

[Seven Fates]

11766025
They're like Pokémon; gotta catch'em all.

[Bronzedragon]

Rather like a freemartin then?

[David Silver]

11766169
You made me look that up, but yes, not unlike that. Female overall, with complications.

[Asterient]

Oh! I honestly didn't expect Sunburst to turn out to be intersex, but I love it! I'm eagerly awaiting further updates!!

[Mythic Night]

Sunburst risked lifting her gaze, mind still reeling. Coverups and costs to make her a son? This truth Foreignalter changed much. "I'm not fighting you, Mom. I'm just uncovering who I-"

Uh, if this is a word then I don’t know what it means.

[David Silver]

11766214
Fixed, along with another typo lurking nearby. Like ye chappy?

[Prettypony]

Oh shit, Sunburst was born (is? idk if she's still counted) intersex.

What happened to her sadly happens to many intersex babies. Often, doctors won't even ask for the parent's consent before doing anything.

[Feynna]

"I have a son ." She glared at Sunburst with fire in her eyes. "I paid good bits to see to that."

Ah, dang it. I knew something along those lines was up. Poor Sunburst. :(

[fare67t]

O O F

I feel the exchange between those two, hard.
Every single time a letter or package comes for me with my new name (not legally changed, yet), my mother always acts so disgusted. Like, it's a freaking BIRTHDAY CARD, mom, are you really going to act in disgust to a thoughtful gift to me because its not addressed to some stupid dead name?

[AvoidingFever17]

11766373
Yeah
...for those born intersex i do wish they are treated the way they wish
They are of both worlds
Not of one