• Published 12th Jul 2023
  • 608 Views, 115 Comments

A Pegasus Horn - Ignimbrite



Hello. My name's Obsidian, and before you ask, no. I'm not an alicorn.

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All the News That's Fit to Print

Princess Luna was having a very good morning. Calm, peaceful, just perfect overall. The air had a refreshing chill to it as the sun was coming up over the horizon, and the birds in the garden outside were already engaging in their melodies.

Yes, it was most certainly a perfect morning. She smiled as she lifted the cup of coffee with her hoof, and sipped it while telekinetically unfolding the newspaper.

Celestia, on the other hoof, had been tossing and turning all night. Just when she was about to finally get some rest, the time came to raise the sun.

She made a mental note to pick up more replacement alarm clocks.

As Celestia walked into the room, she was greeted by a coffee mug very nearly hitting her in the face and subsequently shattering against the wall behind her.

What did hit her face was the stream of coffee that propelled said mug across the room.

"LUNA!?!"

Luna simply stared at the newspaper with eyes wide, mouth agape, and coffee still dripping off her chin.

Celestia walked over, picking up a napkin along the way to try to dry out her fur. What she saw covered the entire front page of the newspaper, above the fold, in bold print.

LUNAR SCANDAL!
LUNA'S SECRET CHILD FOUND IN PONYVILLE

Normally, Celestia would have checked to see if the story was written by Yellow Press again, but something was off this time. Perhaps it was that the style of writing was different. Maybe it was that the article followed actual rules of grammar for once.

Of course, it could have been the giant, colored picture of a silver-winged, dark-furred, unmistakably alicorn colt. That could have been it.

"Luna... Is there something I should know?"

Luna turned to her sister in shock. "Don't tell me thou believes this!"

"I don't know what to believe. He's got about the right fur color, and he is..."

"I DID NOT DO ANYTHING!"

"You're sure there's no possibility at all that..."

Luna gave her sister a look that flat-out dared her to finish that question.

"No. Look at his age in the picture. Nightmare Moon and I were still on the moon at that time."

Celestia looked at the picture again. Sure enough, the colt was clearly old enough that Luna would have still been banished when he had been born. She sighed in relief.

"Well that rules that out at least." She turned back to the paper. "Who would write up something like this?"

"I don't know, but when we find out, I'm banishing them to the moon."

"Luna!"

She rolled her eyes. "Fine. I'm giving them a fair trial first... then banishing them to the moon."


As Obsidian and Feldspar approached the school, all the other kids suddenly became quiet. Everypony stared at the two.

"Uhhh... what's going on?..."

"Are you really a prince?"

"What?" He facehooved. "I'm not a prince, I'm not even an alicorn. It's a medical condition. I already told all of you about that."

"But the papers. They say you're a secret prince. Is it true?"

"WHAT?!?"

One of them held up a paper. The two recognized it as one of their dad's rivals.

There are unconfirmed rumors that Princess Luna, Ruler of the Night, may have been visited by one Quartz Stone, presumably on business, in Canterlot. It is believed by several reliable sources...

Obsidian and Feldspar looked at each other. Obsidian then took the paper and ran off to his dad.


"Dad! Dad!" Obsidian galloped all the way to the newspaper office. When he got there, his dad was in a meeting with the paper's owner.

"Obsidian, I'm in a meeting... And it's a school day..." he noticed his face and the paper... "what's wrong?"

Obsidian held up the paper for him to read. As Quartz picked it up and read it, his face hardened. "Those muckraking mud-slinging..." his telekinesis crushed the paper, only to open it again so he could reread it. "I could sue them for slander."

His boss looked over at the paper.

"Technically, that's libel." He gave an amused glance to Quartz. "So, the Mare in the Moon, huh?"

"Please don't tell me you believe this."

"Nah, this is about him, right?" He gestured to Obsidian. "He must've been born before Nightmare Moon's return, so unless you've been making trips to the moon or something, I doubt he's hers."

"Well, thank you for believing me." Quartz turned to his son. "And thank you for showing me this. Now please go back to school, okay."

"Okay."


The rest of the day was not particularly comfortable. While his boss might have been able to see through it, most of the rest of the town evidently could not.

Letters were already coming in, some asking if the claims were true, some asking what the princess was like, and others landing straight in the paper shredder as soon as they were opened.

Quartz hoped nopony was bothering Gneiss.


Gneiss had already locked all the doors on the home. Upon seeing a camerapony by the window, she pulled a knife from the kitchen drawer and, holding it upside-down by the blade, aimed it towards the window.

The lens disappeared rather quickly.


Rarity ran to the library again.


When Cheerilee had asked if the class had any questions, she was hoping that at least some of them would be for her, or at least about the topic at hand. She tried and failed to restore order as the subject of the questions turned increasingly red.

"FOR THE LAST TIME, I'M NOT AN ALICORN!!!!!"


When the lunar diarch was finished with them, the newspaper very hastily printed a retraction.

LUNAR SCANDAL FOUND FALSE

It was brought to our attention that the claimed scandal could not have occurred, as it would have been during the time of Nightmare Moon's banishment. Thus, we must extend our apologies to Princess Luna for our insinuation against her. We should have taken that into account before printing the story.

Rest assured that we will follow our anonymous sources more closely and investigate their claims before publishing them. We will especially be looking further into the identity of the alicorn colt in the pictures they sent us.

It is quite clear to our reliable sources now that the colt does not have his mother's fur, but rather his mother's wings...

Celestia reread the rest of the paragraph.

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She read it again.

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Her eye twitched.

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"I'M BANISHING THEM TO THE SUN!"