If Solaris had a Text-to-Speech Device

by Jay David

Old Foes

"And that's basically that," Flash concluded. "She managed to complete some really old spell and pow, she becomes and alicorn."

"THAT'LL BE ONE OF STARSWIRL'S OLD SPELLS THEN. THE OLD STALLION HAD A KNACK FOR NEVER FINISHING PROJECTS AS I RECALL. YOU KNOW, I STRUGGLE TO REMMEBER EXACTLY WHY I HIRED HIM TO TEACH MY GIRLS. MEH, MUST HAVE JUST HAD A GOOD REFERENCE I SUPPOSE."

"You can ask him if you like," Flash offered. "He's one of his excursions right now, but he's due back in Canterlot in the next week or so."

"...HOLD UP. ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT STARSWIRL IS STILL ALIVE?!"

"Um...yes?"

"STARSWIRL THE BEARDED?"

"Yep."

"THE ONE WITH THE POINTY HAT COVERED IN BELLS?"

"That'd be him."

"...HOW IN THE WIDE WORLD OF EQUESTRIA HAS THAT OLD DUFFER MANAGED TO LIVE THAT LONG?"

"Would you believe me if I told you it was a long and very eventful story?" Flash asked.

"AT THIS POINT I'D BE SURPRISED IF ANYTHING I ASKED ABOUT CONCERNING THIS ERA OF THE NATION WASN'T SOME KIND OF LONG STORY."

Flash chuckled. "It's been a busy few years, no questions there. Sometimes it just seems weird, you know? We go a thousand years without any problems, and then, all of a sudden, we get every conceivable monster or bad guy under the sun trying to get to us."

"IT'S LIKE THE BUS. YOU WAIT FOREVER FOR ONE, AND THEN FIVE SHOW UP ALL AT ONCE." He paused to consider. "SO WHAT BADDIES ARE WE TALKING HERE? GIVE ME NAMES, I MIGHT KNOW THEM."

Flash looked to the side, mentally noting the names in question. "Well, there was Tirek."

"VORAK'S BOY? I ALWAYS KNEW HE'D COME TO A BAD END."

"There was also Queen Chrysalis," Flash continued.

"NOPE, NOT RINGING ANY BELLS."

"Sombra, Cozy Glow..."

"TWO MORE NAMES I'M NOT RECOGNISING."

"Oh, and there was also Discord."

"THAT GUY? I GUESS I SHOULDN'T BE SURPRISED. HE ALWAYS MADE IT HIS BUSINESS TO MESS AROUND WITH US. BARELY A DAY WOULD GO BY BACK IN MY TIME WHEN HE WASN'T CAUSING HAVOC TO SOME DEGREE."

Flash chuckled dryly. "Heh, yeah, he's definitely an acquired taste. Ask anypony who met him after his reformation and they'll tell you."

"...WHAT?"

"Sir?"

"DID YOU JUST SAY...REFORMATION?"

"Oh, about Discord? Yeah. One of Princess Twilight's friends, Fluttershy, got through to him a while back. Now he's counted among our allies."

"...EVERYTHING YOU JUST SAID HAS DISTURBED ME RIGHT TO MY CORE. DISCORD IS THE ENEMY OF PONYKIND. OUR ANTITHESIS. THE OPPOSITION TO EVERYTHING THAT IS GOOD ABOUT US."

Flash sighed. "That might have been the case, once. But today, he is considered one of us. Princess Twilight has vouched for him, considered him a friend. And since most of us owe her a great deal, I am willing to give Discord the benefit of the doubt on that."

"YOUR TRUST IN YOUR LEADER IS ADMIRABLE, BUT YOU'LL FORGIVE ME IF I DO NOT TAKE HIS SUPPOSED REFORMATION AT YOUR WORD. I WILL NEED TO SEE HIS IMPROVEMENT FOR MYSELF."

"I don't blame you, Sir. But does that mean you need me to go and find him for you?"

"NO NEED, KID. I'M ABOUT TO PULL WHAT YOUR GENERATION CALLS A PRO-GAMER MOVE."

"Literally never heard that expression in my entire life."

"TOO BAD. DOING IT ANYWAY."

Flash stood back, not knowing what was going to happen. And before long his instinct proved to be true, as the room began to shake. Clearly the old skeleton had more power in him than appearances would suggest, and soon that power made itself known. A bright light burst in the centre of the chamber, causing Flash to shield his eyes briefly. When the light faded, the stallion began to hear a confused yet familiar voice. "Okay, what fool gets it into their head to summon me of all people?" Sure enough, as Flash lowered his hooves from his eyes, he now looked upon the mismatched form of Discord, one-time enemy of Equestria. And as the stallion was the only person in Discord's field of view, the latter soon narrowed his eyes to him. "And who might you be, little stallion?"

Before Flash had a chance to answer, Solaris did it for him. "HE IS NOT YOUR CONCERN, DISCORD. I AM."

Even with a voice that was undoubtedly different from what he would have had in those bygone days, there was something to it that caused Discord's smirk to vanish. Slowly, he turned, now looking upon the bony alicorn behind him. There was silence for a long while, but at the end of it, Discord responded with a whisper. "...Solaris?" Then, rage began to fill his expression. "Solaris?! The skeleton king himself?!"

"INDEED. IT IS I. AND MAKE NO MISTAKE, I AM NO HAPPIER SEEING YOU EITHER."

In an instant, Discord was right up in the monarch's face. "You've got some nerve brining me here, as if I'd be happy to see you!" After a quick pause, Discord's mood mellowed, and his eyes darted over Solaris' current appearance. "Although, I must say, the 'flayed beyond all recognition' look is certainly what I'd have chosen for you."

"YOU ARE NOT HERE FOR YOUR SO-CALLED WITTY BANTER, DISCORD. YOU ARE HERE SO I CAN SEE FOR MYSELF THIS FOOLISH NOTION THAT YOU HAVE SOMEHOW IMPROVED YOURSELF RECENTLY."

Discord chuckled. "Oh, there's nothing 'foolish' about it, I assure you. I'm a bona fide upstanding citizen now," he declared, giving a bow for emphasis.

"I'VE KNOWN YOU TOO LONG TO TAKE SUCH A STATEMENT AT FACE VALUE. YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THAT THE PONIES OF THIS ERA ASKED YOU TO BE NICE AND YOU ACTUALLY DID SO?"

Here, Discord took on a more awkward look, scratching his cheek while avoiding the alicorn's gaze. "Well..."

"I THOUGHT AS MUCH. WHAT DID YOU DO?"

"Ugh! So little faith! Is it not within your heart to accept that people can change for the better?" Discord asked with a mocking tone.

"IF THAT PERSON WASN'T YOU, THEN I MIGHT CONSIDER IT."

Seeing that this reunion wasn't going anywhere soon, Flash turned, heading for the chamber doors. "Would anypony want anything to drink while I'm getting one?"

"Coffee," Discord replied. "With a dozen sugars!"

"I CAN'T DRINK ANYTHING, SO JUST GET ME AN EMPTY CUP SO I CAN MATCH THE IMAGE."

As he reached the door, Flash sighed. "Yep...this is my life now."

Author's Note:

When in doubt, leave the room

Comments

[MrHeliuminium]

"NO NEED, KID. I'M ABOUT TO PULL WHAT YOUR GENERATION CALLS A PRO-GAMER MOVE."

Damn, he got cheats

[TallBrew_CoffeePone]

It’s even better the second time!

[GamePlayer64]

Who bets Solaris threatens Discord to spill any hidden secrets he knows.

[Iron Comet]

A dozen sugars? Wouldn't Discord want a dozen salts just to be contrary?

[Courage Fire]

11641880
Because Solaris is going to provide plenty.

[A Soul In Limbo]

"...HOW IN THE WIDE WORLD OF EQUESTRIA HAS THAT OLD DUFFER MANAGED TO LIVE THAT LONG?"

Old duffer. xD

[Oreng Pingvin]

11641880
He shows tolerance for the Skeleton King so as not to rub salt in the wound.

[bluewolf263]

"Pro-gamer move"; also known as the "OP PLZ NERF" powers. This is a crossover that I NEVER would have imagined, yet I cannot stop reading, nor can I stop smiling! Thank you so much for this!

[Vigriff]

I'll never get tired of tts dialogue.