Lost to his new world, a man tries his best to survive with the foundations laid by a strange empress and a looming unease the world feels. Will he truly rise above his former life or will he simply fall to the darkness below?
11620150 The dialogue is just pure style as too many stories use the whole "Insert phrase here" without any indications its talking unless stated otherwise so I thought to make it easier to read for anyone who liked heavy dialogue. I appreciate the love for the story, just hope you'll like the trials and pain everyone will endure later on :))
11620189 (keep in mind this is my personal opinion, so take it with a grain of salt) I don’t think italicize is the best choice for trying to make the dialogue easier to read. (In my opinion.) I think it makes it a tad bit harder to read. I think making the dialogue bolded would work better.
11620202 hey no worries, I understand that critique I'll take into account later, some scenes involving dialogue would have to be bolded for importance or other reasons.
11620204 I choose to side with the love queen. Mainly to restore balance to a corrupted world. By the alicorns who were supposed to be the balance itself.
11620512 I give you a recommendation?, make it Human as much as possible. If you are going to do a story with humans, it has to be done because if you propose to only put him as a Pony, just make a story about a pony in a different equestria, so simply, he absolutely loses all the grace of the Human Label.
11621378 Fair point, but if I may, the point of him becoming a pony is that he keeps what makes him a human, his soul, his mind, his very heart is all human. Think of it like this: if someone gets reincarnated then they are meant to keep their original soul so for one that remains the same. He's still himself deep down. He's simply put into a new body with new issues he'll come to find.
11621378 If that's not enough, I apologize for the mis-fire when it comes to stories and where they'd go again apologies if that is a mishap on my part
11620349 Loyalty has nothing to do with it. It is a simple choice about who to decide which is best for all and not just you.😒 Besides, you know I'm right about my judgement. Cadance is order, while the other two alicorns could be an apocalypse if they all fight in a war that is. Basically almost like 'The Devil's Brew'. An event that tore families and nations apart during the medieval era. A queen married to the French king, only to marry other men through out her whole life baring each their children. And the children of royalty fought for what was promised to them. {Watch Extra History you'll learn the answers.}
11620150 Most of it is italicized. It switches though, and I can’t figure out why.
The grammar and punctuation is numerous and distractingly poor.
Cadence has spent all her time being royal and not having friends? So she should know that checking on a vagrant in custody in hospital is very much below her status. Right?
Where’s Shining Armor? Was that Sunset?
The setting is interesting. A world where both nightmares took over the princesses has a lot of possible narrative conflicts to explore. How did Cadence escape her own nightmare, and has her MIA parents been dealing with these as well? Is there a narrative purpose for the biology of the natives? They’re alien equines but don’t have equinous features?
It’s interesting how all the dialogue is italicized. Can I ask why? Or is it just a stylistic choice? I am loving this story so far:D
11620150
The dialogue is just pure style as too many stories use the whole "Insert phrase here" without any indications its talking unless stated otherwise so I thought to make it easier to read for anyone who liked heavy dialogue. I appreciate the love for the story, just hope you'll like the trials and pain everyone will endure later on :))
11620189 (keep in mind this is my personal opinion, so take it with a grain of salt)
I don’t think italicize is the best choice for trying to make the dialogue easier to read. (In my opinion.) I think it makes it a tad bit harder to read. I think making the dialogue bolded would work better.
11620202
hey no worries, I understand that critique I'll take into account later, some scenes involving dialogue would have to be bolded for importance or other reasons.
11620204
I choose to side with the love queen. Mainly to restore balance to a corrupted world. By the alicorns who were supposed to be the balance itself.
11620344
I see, well maybe your loyalty may be misplaced. But who knows, order is a fickle thing after all.
So I take it the human does not stay human if this was put into the ponified human folder by you. I have not read it. Just want some clarification.
11620349
This looks interesting.
11620403
Well for one, the original plan was to keep him human but yes at some point he will become human once more, be it temporary or permanent
11620512
I give you a recommendation?, make it Human as much as possible. If you are going to do a story with humans, it has to be done because if you propose to only put him as a Pony, just make a story about a pony in a different equestria, so simply, he absolutely loses all the grace of the Human Label.
11621378
Fair point, but if I may, the point of him becoming a pony is that he keeps what makes him a human, his soul, his mind, his very heart is all human. Think of it like this: if someone gets reincarnated then they are meant to keep their original soul so for one that remains the same. He's still himself deep down. He's simply put into a new body with new issues he'll come to find.
11621378
If that's not enough, I apologize for the mis-fire when it comes to stories and where they'd go again apologies if that is a mishap on my part
11620349
Loyalty has nothing to do with it. It is a simple choice about who to decide which is best for all and not just you.😒 Besides, you know I'm right about my judgement. Cadance is order, while the other two alicorns could be an apocalypse if they all fight in a war that is. Basically almost like 'The Devil's Brew'. An event that tore families and nations apart during the medieval era. A queen married to the French king, only to marry other men through out her whole life baring each their children. And the children of royalty fought for what was promised to them. {Watch Extra History you'll learn the answers.}
11620150
Most of it is italicized. It switches though, and I can’t figure out why.
The grammar and punctuation is numerous and distractingly poor.
Cadence has spent all her time being royal and not having friends? So she should know that checking on a vagrant in custody in hospital is very much below her status. Right?
Where’s Shining Armor? Was that Sunset?
The setting is interesting. A world where both nightmares took over the princesses has a lot of possible narrative conflicts to explore. How did Cadence escape her own nightmare, and has her MIA parents been dealing with these as well? Is there a narrative purpose for the biology of the natives? They’re alien equines but don’t have equinous features?