Lost to his new world, a man tries his best to survive with the foundations laid by a strange empress and a looming unease the world feels. Will he truly rise above his former life or will he simply fall to the darkness below?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Damn ran outta chapter kinda sucks but I'm calling it, dudes gonna have some esdeath from akame ga kill powers mixed with some Sombrero shit, like icy powers and time shenanigans
Honestly other than the cringe of his coat color/ species which I think you described a few times differently like when the guard or kirin asked him about being human or something he answered a Pegasus or something, that and the confusing ish dream sequence tomfoolery.
The Dream is fine and so is luna stuff but you don't describe his gibberish after said dream and the dark flame changes to himself real well imo, still great story and I'd love for you to continue to write it
11720932
Honestly, what you're saying is not wrong and I do wanna continue it but to give you a small spoiler, no his power is not going to be related to some death-like or ezdeath power I have something more interesting in mind as time goes forward and I plan to continue I'm just a bit busy and frankly feeling iffy rn.
11720932
one thing I will say is that personally I want the colors to be something more about himself, hence the bodily dysmorphia he is going through and continues to go into this self-destructive cycle over and over but that of course will get expanded on more as time goes.
11732461
understandable bro i just cant wait till you drop more chapters so i can find out more about his magic although itd be nifty to find out what hes the alicorn of ? is this universe more like lost narrators where there's a alicorn for everything or different ?
11732487
I'm a bit rusty when it comes to that but I will say, Personally I don't plan on ever having an alicorn to me, that makes things too easy or sometimes too weird and feels more of a plot issue than a good story beat if that makes sense, no shame to people who like that sorta thing though.
11732487
Currently I have no plans to make him an alicorn, I wanna make him something entirely different but you'll see that soon I imagine
11732542
its all good, generally authors make their character achieve a level of magic or skill and when they think they surpassed it they just upgrade them to a alicorn like its a video game which can be interesting but is mostly just boring.
11732563
I 100% agree with you honestly, which is why I want to not go down that route being an alicorn is cool but once you see it enough its just a boring tad on to give the mc a gift or reward for their hard work instead of keeping them who they are and not some new royal.