• Published 17th Apr 2023
  • 955 Views, 306 Comments

Rebirth of Magic: The Misfit - The Blue EM2



The life and times of an Earth Pony determined to be herself.

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None will Hear my Story

The machine stood there, looking at us. There was no mistaking it. It was the exact same one from the first nightmare. Everything about it matched up with that vision all those days ago.

"How can that be here?" I asked, my voice shaking in fear. "That thing's been haunting my nightmares!"

Before I could say anything else, the machine shifted forward so it was closer to us. And exactly as it had done in my nightmares, the front plates began to shimmer and shake before retracting backwards, revealing the cockpit behind. And sure enough, as in the nightmare, the pilot was wearing striped clothing.

"Indeed," he said, his voice dripping with contempt and smugness, "and I have been in your nightmares, Sunny Starscout. Or should I say Tom?"

Wait. How did he know I wasn't originally from here? I looked at Izzy. "What the Heck? How does he know that?"

I'd asked that more as a rhetorical question than anything else, but before Izzy could open her mouth the pilot answered the question for me. "I know the truth of this world. And it is a depressing truth indeed. This reality was not meant to be, and the one before it should still be. And the bronies who moved forward deserve to perish for their foolishness. Isn't that right, Jimmy Hook?"

Wait a second. For a brief period back in the human world I'd had a pen friend of that name. He was a nice guy, even if he was rather eccentric, and we'd liked a few of the same things even if we hadn't ever met in person. So this Jimmy Hook guy the pilot had mentioned and JimmyHook19 were the same person? And had he gone through the same thing I had all that time ago?

What was going on?

Now it was Izzy's turn to be asking questions. "How do you know that?"

"I know the names of all the traitors," the pilot said with sickening glee. He was clearly enjoying this, a lot. He leaned forward again and smiled once more, as if the thought of destroying us was bringing him pleasure. "Not that you would understand, given you enjoy being the Pinkie Pie clone."

I seemingly took a lot to tick Izzy off, but that seemingly did the trick. "I am not a Pinkie Pie clone! I'm very different to Pinkie!"

"You make stuff, have a giddy personality, and make friends." Not only did this guy dislike us, he also clearly had a superficial understanding of the differences between Generations 4 and 5. I mean, it doesn't take that much effort to disprove the thesis that the Mane 5 are carbon copies of the Mane 6!

Izzy, of course, noticed this. "Nope! I didn't have any friends when I started my journey, and I don't break the fourth wall anywhere near as much as Pinkie did!"

The pilot seemed annoyed by this, and waved his hand. "That is irrelevant. I thought I'd killed them anyway to stop them getting in the way of my plan. I can only assume she got in the way again. But no matter. Things are proceeding on schedule, and it will only be matter of time before Generation 5 is wiped off the face of the multiverse like the abomination it is."

The plating moved back into what I can only assume was combat position, before the machine fired up and something began to whine. "Let's see how much of a fight you put up compared to Sprout. I would say I enjoyed talking to you both- but I really didn't. Prepare to die!"

Then a message cut straight through my mind. Especially you, Sunny. You made me look a fool online all those years ago, and you shall pay for your actions, just as Joshua did.

I then made the connection in my mind. I knew who this guy was. But there was no time to explain this, as we were under fire.

The machine began to fire off a set of enery cannons that lit the snow a bright red. "I ALWAYS PREFERRED MY UNICORN BURGERS WELL DONE!"

We had to get to cover so we wouldn't get absolutely plastered. "Run!" I shouted, as I dived behind the wreck of a tank. We certainly got lucky, as it seemed whomever had given him the weapons hadn't given him the brains to use them properly.

The blasts of laser fire were soon joined by conventional bullets. Explosive bullets, may I add. These were slamming into the ground and blowing things around with a series of explosive detonations that were ripping the snow apart and blowing chunks of earth everywhere.

"The auto targeting must be off," I heard the pilot say. That or he was an atrocious shot. I somehow suspect the latter was more likely. "No matter. The end will come, and I will flatten you!"

We had to find a way to stop this thing before it turned us into streaked pony bacon, and for that we had to find a way to fight back. I began to formulate a plan in my mind and had some ideas. I stopped as an arm smashed some equipment near me. "Come out, come out, wherever you are! Stop and stand so I can flatten you!"

"What makes you think we'd do that?" I replied. "We will stop you!"

"Wrong, on both counts," he said, as more energy fire flew my way. Good thing I'd stopped. Else I wouldn't be here to tell the story. "Not even the fools who screwed around with me online can stop me! This world shall feel my wrath as the other dimensions did so long ago!"

Even more evidence for who I thought this guy was. I then got lucky; I spotted a nearby vehicle that appeared to have what we needed. "Look! That tank still seems to have a working cannon!"

So myself and Izzy dived into it. I was able to figure out how to load it without too much difficulty, and there were still plenty of shells left in it. Hopefully at least one of them was still live.

And it was. "Still live! Here's hoping this'll do the trick!"

Izzy, who was positioned at the fire control station, looked at me. "Are you sure this'll work?"

"At the very least it'll give him a nasty headache!"

I looked out, seeing that machine continue to stalk around, and eventually it stopped in front of us. Perfect.

I couldn't resist saying the line. "Surprise, motherfucker. FIRE!"

The cannon was triggered, and ten pounds of explosive shell slammed into the machine, knocking it back and damaging part of the armour. The pilot was annoyed, and to our surprise wandered off down the hillside rather than attack again. Clearly he had been given a nasty headache.

I opened the hatch and we climbed out, both quite surprised by what we had witnessed. "Izzy. I think I know who that guy is."

"Who?" Izzy asked.

"Chris Chan."

Izzy tilted her head at me. "Who?"

"In internet circles he's an infamous guy best known for plagiarism, creating characters that combine bits of multiple characters with no originality, writing a nonsensical comic which serves as a power fantasy for him, managing to offend everybody (which is quite an impressive achievement), and generally being not a nice person. Did I mention he's crazy?"

"I figured as much," Izzy said quietly. "But why does he like you and this world particularly?"

"Well, as you know Generation 4 came to an end in 2019. Chris couldn't bear the thought of the show ending, and convinced himself that Princess Celestia had told him that Friendship is Magic would get five more seasons despite the fact the show ran out of plot around Season 7. As a result, he got very annoyed when Generation 5 was revealed as it didn't line up with what he wanted, and he went on a lot of rants about it, including one claiming that the human world would be thrown into chaos if G5 came out. He got proven wrong on that one, but somehow he's found a way to jump to this world and wants to destroy it!"

"But what about you?"

"That's easy to explain," I replied. "Sunny's voiced by Vanessa Hudgens in the film- it's her voice coming out of my vocal chords right now. A long time ago, a troll pretending to be Vanessa made Chris do lots of foolish things. So the fact a character in a setting he likes was voiced by somebody he associates with a bad memory presumably set off his desire to destroy this reality. Though what did he mean about killing them? Is that somehow connected to us being here?"

I sighed. "I've also spent some time doing some soul searching, and I think I've finally got my feelings sorted out. I'm definitely a lesbian, no denying that, but I don't know you hugely well, so I think it's for the best we remain friends for now."

"OK!" Izzy said. "No point rushing in with anything!"

I smiled, as at last Bridlewood loomed before us. Journey's end.

Author's Note:

Well, we now have a name to our villain... the infamous Chris Chan, lolcow supreme. This guy is a good example of why unsupervised internet access is usually a very bad idea, and I honestly feel no guilt about using him as a villain in stories considering the things he's done (some of them too horrible to even begin to hint at here). I had previously used him as an antagonist in Sonic Infinity, a story written to mark 30 years of Sonic the Hedgehog, so considering his irrational hatred of G5 it only made sense to use him here rather than Opaline.

The last portion is also directly addressing a common criticism of my older stories, namely the fact characters fall in love unrealistically fast. I am aware this is a problem, hence Sunny's desire to remain friends for now.

That's it for Sunny for now. Next time (and next year) we hop to another place entirely!