19. Fossil Record
The Last Nightguard
Fossil Record
“All reports must adhere to the Reference Manual for Crown Communications, Revision 127b. Descriptions of events are to be identified by time and place in a clear and succinct fashion, and supported by witness statements and documented logs if possible.”
—Manual of the Royal Guard, Volume One
“It is a most clever device indeed, to hear somepony speak from long ago without magic.” Luna peered at the ‘record’ floating in her magic, squinting closely. “Although they sound in great pain. Are tortured souls perhaps trapped within this substance?”
“Mama says today’s music…” Peanut Brittle cringed and returned to looking through the cheerful yellow discs of the music store’s children’s section. “It’s not a nice word,” she added.
Ebon Tide settled down with a set of ‘earphones’ and one of the sample records on the spinning device. Anypony who had been in the general vicinity of water when what was now called the ‘Royal Canterlot Voice’ was used knew the ripples that formed from loud words, but capturing those ripples in solid form to be repeated at will was an astonishing concept. Worse, the innovation was fading as new forms of sound repetition were being developed, a cascade of technology that he feared at times would sweep the two of them into the dustbin.
There were acceptable bits of music to be found here, and some which indeed sounded like some poor yak had his tail rather brutally nailed to a door somewhere. This store was only one of many which they had visited today, with the next being some sort of confectuary where they sold hundreds of ice cream flavors, an abundance which boggled his mind.
Princess Luna had been relatively discreet with her purchases so far, mostly because the Royal Purse could easily cover buying this store on a whim, and she had been fairly careful with her whims since she had been freed from Nightmare Moon. A quiet servant had been added to their group by Pansy, who lurked by the shop doors instead of following them inside. Pansy had insisted on somepony to carry since his job was too important to be burdened by parcels and Eb had agreed. He suspected the mild-mannered earth pony was another Guard, but without armor to advertise his role, Eb was willing to pretend the burly pony’s civilian status.
By coincidence, Luna’s shopping had filled the not-Guard’s saddlebags by the time they reached ‘Five Hundred Flavours’ so she sent him back to the palace to unload. That left Luna and Eb unsupervised when Peanut Brittle introduced Pine Apple Squares, who looked nervous with his role as an intelligence agent (size small). His eyes were wide beneath the shock of golden mane that threatened to protrude over his spectacles, and his bowl of ice cream was practically untouched.
“You want me to do what?” Pine Apple glanced from side to side as if there was some sort of trap involved, which showed good instincts for an assignment of this sensitivity. Perhaps someday he would become a spy, although it was probably practical to wait until his facial blemishes cleared up and he was old enough to stay out at night without his parents’ permission.
“It is a simple task,” said Luna in a very unusual and straightforward manner. “We wish to know more of our… creations.”
“To be fair, Your Highness,” said Eb quietly, “they were less created and more changed by your magic into what and who they are now.
“It is a delicate subject,” admitted Luna with a sharp glance at Eb. “As you can plainly see.”
“I can see that,” said the child rather quickly. “I mean I know. I’m from House Honor, after all. Kindof an odd duck in a family full of of dark swans. My dad says I spend so much time indoors studying after dark that my outside wings just didn’t come in, but he’s goofy that way. He’s an accountant,” added Pine Apple as if that would explain everything.
Eb could tell that Princess Luna was quickly reaching the end of her patience with the child, and probably the Warmaster she had at her side also, so he stepped into the conversation with a more fatherly tone to his voice that he had not used in a long while.
“Frankly, I’m curious about my history also,” he said while putting one thinly furred foreleg on the table. “I’m starting this from the very beginning. You were born into a nocturnal family, at least. My introduction to the whole structure of it was rather abrupt and unplanned.”
“How did you—” started Pine Apple, which Eb cut off with a short shake of his head and the welcome rustle of thin regrowing hairs around his ears. It was a good place to start, because every successful negotiation needed an exchange.
“You find out the history of my new kind, the real history right after Luna’s banishment, and I’ll tell you how I became what I am now.”
The colt’s glittering green eyes lit up like Eb had dangled a bit of sugar beet in front of his nose. “Do you think I could… I mean I love being a unicorn, but my family and stuff…”
“No,” said Eb and Luna at the same time. Eb gave her a quelling look since he was making good progress, but it did not stop Her Highness even for a moment.
“Appreciate what you have, young one. Do not strive for the false hope of acceptance in becoming what you are not, but revel in the true acceptance which your parents and House bestow upon you without measure. I know that of which I speak. This path shall not become your path, and you will be the better for it.”
* * *
A museum was a very quiet place late at night, worthy of a long walk with no surprises. Eb appreciated the change of pace since he had been walking most of the night, and although he was building his stamina far faster than any natural process, Princess Luna was constantly moving with a long stride in public. He would have flown to keep up at times, but whenever Eb spread his wings, imbalance followed, and inevitably gravity would take its toll. Then there was her way of coming to an abrupt stop, which almost left Eb’s nose ramming into Her Highness’ Royal Rump several times when she was distracted by one exhibit or another.
“We could always call for the curator,” said Eb quietly.
“Why?” Luna gave the informational sign in front of the current exhibit her full attention. “This, at least, we are familiar with. The Abyssinian rulership of our era served cheese on them.” She turned away from the sign and resumed her route to a different glass-enclosed artifact. “It was not some sort of gameboard,” she muttered under her breath.
“Truth.” Eb glanced back at the hesitant elderly earth pony staying just barely within sight in case he was called upon to clarify one of his artifacts and their purpose. He was far enough away and Her Highness had sensitive enough hearing that their low conversation was most probably private, or as much as it could be. “We are your gamepieces and the world your board,” he added. “It is good that you discouraged young Pine Apple from attempting to become one of my kind. One is far too many.”
A ripple of tension traveled up Luna’s slender flanks and slowed her pace until she stopped at a set of silver plaques with various runic inscriptions. “Were I able to use one of Starswirl’s spells to travel back in time and prevent my—”
“I’d be dead now.” Deep inside, he wanted to place a reassuring hoof on the trembling alicorn’s shoulder, but the churning fury of dark magic in his belly held him back. “A thousand thousand times I would strike thee for my agony and still have blows to spare. And yet, a single blow would both break my vow to protect the Crown and pay you back ill for saving my life.”
“You know what I feel for my sister, then.” Luna barely moved a muscle while continuing. “I cannot help but hate her for what she did, and love her for saving our world.”
“I bear no affection to you,” said Eb plainly, although it did not sound as sincere as he wanted.
Luna continued as if he had not spoken at all. “It has always been so despite our attempts to mask it. Even when we fought Sombra, there was disharmony in our actions, made even worse when Starswirl and his band of heroes vanished without a trace. They anchored our disharmony, gave us a way to release the pressure of our responsibilities. I had a particular favor towards Rockhoof, to be honest. He could spin a tale for hours on end until you lost track of time.”
“Then he was gone,” said Eb, “along with the rest of the Pillars of Equestria. I rather liked Flash Magnus, as long as we’re confessing. I could not determine if I wanted him to be my son or my superior officer. A flying puppy, but with teeth where it counted. The foal’s book I saw in the House Glory library portrayed all of them very simplistically, but they captured his foolish smile with great accuracy.”
That brought a smile to her face as he had intended.
* * *
It was a rare thing to see Luna smile over the next few weeks. Warleader Ebon Tide threw himself into an exercise program that would have killed him in his prime, but the churning of dark magic in his gut drove him to extraordinary feats of strength, or at least compared to his growing physical body. Peanut Brittle decided that his running needed to have some company so she ran with him in the early evening, along the path that wound its way around the Academy and the low hills. It was a bit odd for a location high on the mountain, but nestled into the spot with great care.
Peanut explained how the Academy was established by the first Royal Guards, and that Pine had written ten whole pages on its early history. It was almost as informational to listen to the little batpony talk about her unicorn friend than reading the report which he was working on. Luna visited at times, making her own way around the track at a pace that neither of them could match, even leaving Pansy looking flustered and foam-covered after her exercise because he had the mistaken idea that she needed an escort.
“She’s one of a kind,” admitted Eb to his exhausted aide. Peanut Brittle had gone home for lessons as the hour approached middle-night, leaving Warmaster and assistant alone on their corner of the pells for the moment, so a little relaxation of their relationship was warranted. “In our time, none could best her in the pells, not even her sister.”
“Princess Celestia can fight?” gasped Pansy. “I’ve never even seen her use anything more dangerous than a fork.”
“And that weapon in her spell-grip is mighty indeed,” said Eb with memories of several post-battle alicorn meal binges floating around his mind. “Food is fuel for the mind and body. I’ve eaten like never before over the last few weeks, and yet I am but a novice in her field of combat. Even if I should regain my original form—” Ebon Tide flexed a foreleg, feeling the welcome sensation of muscles rolling beneath his thin but full grey coat “—there is little chance of me besting her in combat or consumption.”
“Funny you should mention that.” The voice that came out of the darkness was stentorian and intensely male, as well as the coal-black minotaur who followed it out into a patch of moonlight. One massive fist slapped into an opposing palm and the minotaur bowed while Eb was still standing in shocked immobility. “Warmaster Ebon Tide, I am First Fist of the Minos diplomatic delegation, Tar. I have been given to understand that you desire training in modern forms of combat. Minos would be proud to provide our part, if you will have me.”
“Us,” came another voice from higher up. Backwinging to a gentle hover, then dropping into place beside the big minotaur was a slightly bigger dragon who topped his height by at least a head. She was deeply magenta in coloration with wide golden eyes under a set of short curved horns, and a look of nervousness that did not belong on a female dragon of that size. The dragoness swept into a brief bow, glancing in both directions, then cleared her throat. “I am Crimson, grandniece of Dragonlord Torch, sent in his name to grant welcome to the Warmaster of Equestria, superior to the legendary Flash Magnus. As it was foretold, I have been given by Dragonlord Torch to Equestria so that the noble race of dragons might offer what assistance is needed.”
“Foretold,” echoed Eb, feeling a little distant.
“Um… yes,” said the dragoness, looking even more nervous. “Just forget that last part. Uncle Torch told me not to say anything about it. Look, can I do my introduction again? I’ve never been good at this diplomaticing.”
“That’s why your great-uncle sent you here,” said Tar, slapping the dragon on a shoulder. “From what I hear, Ebon Tide is not much for diplomacy either, so you’ll fit right in.”
“Uncle Torch said they met once,” said the dragoness rapidly. “With Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, so he was paying them a lot more attention, but… he said there weren’t any pegasi with proper wings back then.” Crimson flexed her wings once, sending a gust of warm air across the practice field and bringing back memories from Eb in one long flood.
“Torch,” Eb managed. “Big dragon, horns around the back of his head and a nasty tail swipe. I remember him. Sort of a pale blue, more aquamarine, right?”
The wide eyes of the dragon opened even further. “You really did know Uncle Torch. Gosh. I didn’t think anything was as old as him.”
“The Princesses are eternal,” said Ebon Tide automatically. “They existed long before us and shall endure long after we are dust.” He shook his head at the memory of soaring high above the battlefield with his legions spread out below and the golden flash of alicorn magic driving back dragons by the score. “They sent you?”
“No, our homelands sent us,” said Tar, giving the dragoness a sideways look. “I thought Chief Thesus was the only leader to be all cryptic about my assignment.”
“I’m not supposed to talk about it,” said Crimson out of the corner of her mouth.
The sound of wings above caused all four of them to look up at a passing griffon who seemed to be searching for something. “Hey, dweebs!” she called down. “Where’s the loser I’m supposed to meet out here in the blinking dark?”
“Somehow, I was expecting that,” muttered Eb under his breath. He took a deep lungful of air and tried his best to emulate the Royal Everfree Announcement Voice in what little Griffonent he knew. “<Hey, Dustrag! Get your feathers down here!>”
“That doesn’t sound very diplomaticing,” whispered Crimson to the minotaur.
“Sheesh! No need to get your tail in a knot.” The hefty griffon landed with a thud and looked around at her counterparts, but Eb spoke first.
“Let me guess. The diplomat for your delegation in Canterlot told you to come here and help train the Equestrian Warmaster, but didn’t tell you why?”
“Yeah.” The griffon tilted her head to give Eb a closer inspection. “You’re the dweeb? Awfully scrawny for a goldskin.”
“I was imprisoned in the moon for the last thousand years,” said Eb levely. “That sort of thing can take a lot out of you, but I’m recovering well.”
The griffon let out an amused squawk. “Oh, like if. I heard about that. Some half-dead geezer came spilling out of Nightmare Moon’s cage, all skin and bones…” Her voice trailed off as she caught a glimpse of the dragoness and the minotaur, both quietly nodding. “You’re kidding, right?”
One sharp claw swung in Eb’s direction and dusty reflexes from his training kicked in. He swept up one foreleg to block the blow, swinging up and around to plant both hind hooves in the hen’s face. His renewed strength and the fury caged in his belly fought to be released, but he moderated his blow to a fair training strike. That was probably a good thing because the griffon blocked his strike upward and tried to sweep his hooves, leaving Eb hopping once then rolling away to recover.
“Wow.” The griffon had not followed up her counter with a strike, which Eb was quite grateful for since he was panting for breath and was wide open. “I haven’t seen a move like that in years.”
“Thanks,” gasped Eb.
“In an exhibition by a historical reenactment troupe,” continued the griffon. “If you’re the real thing, you’ve got a lot to learn. I suppose that’s why Grandpa Gruff sent me here, because if you’re going to fight your way out of a hatchling crib, you’ve got to do better than that.”
“I’ve been sick,” said Eb, momentarily set back.
“Hello, Sick. I’m Gretta.” The griffon snickered at her own joke, but straightened up in a moment. “Seriously, I’m Gretta, and for some reason, Grandpa Gruff sent me here with a whole bunch of threats and a few promises. Like he promised me bits, but I haven’t seen any yet. How much does this pay?”
“There’s pay involved?” asked Crimson with a sudden draconic intake of breath. “Really?”
* * *
Warmaster Ebon Tide had never dealt with more complex finances than his own household’s expenses. The idea that he was owed an amount of money that dwarfed the mountain’s size had thrown him for a serious loop, and turning it down had been the only reasonable course of action. On his own, he could have never afforded to hire a diverse set of trainers like the four mismatched creatures who had found him.
He was still suspicious of the timing, but was saving that for later.
Thankfully, Princess Luna had stepped in with funding. His tutors had arranged a schedule in conjunction with the Guard’s training and his evenings filled to the top and then some.
Dawn no longer drove Ebon Tide to seek refuge between his sheets, or at least the sheets on his side of the immense bed. His apartment in the officers quarters became cold and unused while Princess Luna’s remodeled bedroom became his home. As much as he tried to ignore the ebb and surge of dark magic in his gut, he could only divert the burning power into other activities such as his intense training, escorting Her Highness in their exploration of the modern era, and exhaustive research into the missing time around Princess Celestia’s secret incapacitation. Even Peanut Brittle’s visits became fewer, and Eb could have lost himself in the routine of getting stronger, bigger, and healthier, if not for one very small pointed pony.
He was just jogging back to the palace in the early morning, feeling singed and scratched from his latest sparring practice with Crimson but filled with a fizzing energy of Luna’s dark magic being held at bay. One unwelcome side-effect of that magic was growth, and he had left his armor behind for minor adjustments to keep up with his development, leaving him dressed in only a light saddlebag and uniform jacket to face the dawn. He had not yet reached the height and breadth of Private Pansy, but at this rate he would surpass the big batpony by Winter Wrap-Up.
Eb almost trampled the young unicorn when he stepped out of the elevator on his way to the Royal Bedchambers, and it took a moment for him to remember what seemed like years ago when he and Luna had made their request for information.
“Pine… Apple,” managed Eb. “Oh. Yes. You were researching—”
“Not here,” hissed the young unicorn. He lit his horn and pulled Eb off into a nearby room, or at least encouraged his motion in that direction. Ebon Tide had gotten far too strong to be moved without his leave, faster than anypony had a right to recover his strength and then some. The first time he had thrown the big minotaur in sparring practice, it had been a shock. Now, he had a fair chance of tossing or being tossed by all five of his playmates, although Pansy seemed the most hesitant to actually follow through on an attack like he should. To a small unicorn colt, he would have been an unstoppable opponent, able to kill him in more ways than ever.
“Mister Tide,” said Pine Apple once he had gotten him into the room and closed the door carefully. “I did everything you and Princess Luna asked, checked all the histories, put together a detailed timeline as far as it could go, but there were pieces of the puzzle missing. I know this was really important to you both, and I was stuck. I mean really stuck.”
The child was just so sincere and worried that Eb could not snap any kind of snarky response like he wanted after a long evening of hard activity.
“So why tell me now instead of waiting until we can meet with Princess Luna?” he managed.
“This is why.” The young unicorn squirmed around and pulled a giant sheaf of parchment off his back, then peeled several sheets off the top for him. They didn’t look that secret and scary at first glance, but after Eb read several lines, then went back and read them again, he could not believe their contents.
“A silent coup?”
“That’s why I didn’t want to tell Princess Luna. But it didn’t make sense. If the new batpony clans had really taken over the government, why did they give it back? How did they manage to take it over in the first place? Princess Celestia is really, really powerful, and—”
“Celestia would not have been able to resist an attack. She had become… indisposed after banishing her sister.” Eb hesitated before returning to the short description of impossible betrayal. “That is a secret. Tell nopony.”
“I’m collecting a lot of secrets lately,” admitted Pine Apple quietly while Eb was reading. “I’ll keep them. House Honor does not betray the Crown’s trust.”
“Good boy.” Eb read silently for a time, trying his best to absorb the child’s report. It was written in good Guard style, strict and to the point, much like he had been trained in the process early by his parents. The only problem was that the document raised more questions than it answered.
“We have only the pony point-of-view on this conspiracy,” mused Eb as he neared the end of the report. “The first four races of the Concordian are all represented in my sparring partners, all of whom were sent. Who sent them? Why?”
“Did you ask?” The young unicorn had a very sincere expression for asking such a ridiculous question, which upon further thought made more sense than dancing around the point in the way of adults.
“Obliquely, yes.” Eb considered the wisdom of children. “They would be naturally suspicious should I ask directly.”
“I could,” volunteered the young unicorn, looking up at him with glittering green eyes. “We can double up on the older members of the diplomatic contingent and get them to tell us their old stories if you will permit me to inform Peanut Brittle. She can keep a secret really well, if it’s important enough.”
“I scarcely think that a young—” Eb was forced to cut himself off as Pine Apple Squares sniffled and blinked away a tear.
“It’s really, really important, mister. I mean all we really want is a few stories from the old times, some of the tales that aren’t in any of the books. We’ll get extra points on our schoolwork that way, and besides, I’ve always been fascinated with stories of your home country. Please?”
“Urk.” Eb thumped his chest several times. “That’s enough. Mine own daughters could not elicit such sympathy. Were they here now, I would lock them away for fear you would steal both of them away. I have only one thing to add to your plea, or subtract in this case. Secrets are secret for a reason. Stating that you wish to reproduce such secrets in your schoolwork could impede your ability to extract them.”
He returned to his inspection of the terse report of ancient betrayal in which the Guard did naught to uncover whatever shadowy forces controlled Celestia for several decades, but he could not conceal a faint smile at the unexpected skills Pine Apple had displayed so far. “Perhaps you are a descendant of mine own.”
“I’m not sure,” said Pine. “I looked, of course, but genealogy records of that era are scrambled up with the move from the Everfree to Canterlot. Some ponies changed names when the batpony clans were established. I suppose they sounded better.”
When he had read as much as he could handle for the moment, Eb twisted around and put the sheets of parchment into the slim saddlebag he had begun to carry around for the constant flow of papers which this era mandated. “The two of you are free to Investigate to the best of thy abilities, but remember, in the end it matters not. The dead are dead, and their actions died with them. Still, speak not to others of these matters. Foul forces would be eager to use the past to besmirch ponies of the present, including Her Highness.”
“That’s another thing I wanted to talk to you about,” said Pine Apple. “There’s a reporter snooping around the hallways. Um… They besmirch a lot.”
It did not seem like a very important thing at the time. Eb’s mind was filled with far more thoughts, like what he was going to do once Princess Luna finished lowering the moon and returned to her chambers. Keeping secrets from ones liege was forbidden, but this was less a secret and more a cipher, an activity which Luna loved more than a great number of things and held as an example of her return to the modern age.
Dawn had arrived by the time Eb and Pine went back into the corridor, strolling along at a slow pace while Eb asked several quiet questions about the child’s report. What he had seen while leafing through the hefty sheaf of papers had impressed him greatly, and he had made a note to see the child inducted into the Guard if at all possible when he matured.
The distraction made him miss a tall ivory-white unicorn mare, who was loitering in the corridor outside of the Lunar Chambers with a notepad and sharp yellow pencil in her magic field. Her eyes flickered from Eb to young Pine Apple, then over to the unguarded door, and back to Eb with a particular glint. “Ah,” she breathed and gently brushed back some of her loose blonde mane to give him a far more intense scrutiny. She had pale blue eyes the color of purest sapphire and just as cold, locking gazes with him and apparently unbothered by his appearance. “The mysterious ancient soldier, snatched from certain death in the Moon by our beloved newest princess.”
“Show me your permission to be in this restricted area or I will see you removed,” said Eb in his most threatening tone, which practically poured off the slender mare like water from a duck. She merely smiled with perfect white teeth in return and produced a small folded piece of paper.
“Interview request approved by the Crown public affairs office.” The piece of paper floated in Eb’s direction, then jerked back when he reached for it. “Now, now. A good interview starts out with trust.”
Pine Apple’s aura abruptly formed around the hovering missive, and while the unknown mare struggled for control, Eb wrapped one wing around the conflicted message and pulled it to his body. “Trust must be earned,” stated Eb. “Thank you, Pine.”
“You’re welcome, sir,” responded the young colt, who was still watching the unknown mare carefully. “Warleader Ebon Tide, this is the reporter I told you about earlier.”
“Diamonde Penstroke,” said the slender mare with a smile full of bright white teeth. “You can call me D, for short.”
Torn between reading the short note and keeping an eye on the suspicious reporter, Eb decided on interleafing the two activities. In the end, he folded up the note and placed it securely in his own saddlebag with the rest of the problems he had been accumulating recently.
“A short interview,” he begrudgingly growled. “Ask your questions.”
“Oh, not you.” Diamonde looked up at the sound of approaching hoofsteps and a sly smile began to ooze up onto her face, something ill-concealed behind the modern ‘cosmetics’ that she had used to cover her natural appearance. “Your Highness,” she breathed, lowering her neck in a short bow that would have gotten her thrown headfirst out of Luna’s presence in a different time. “I was just having the most delightful discussion with your—” she coughed slightly “—loyal guard. Diamonde Penstroke, at your service, Your Highness. I received approval from the palace public affairs office for a brief interview this morning. If we could step into your chambers and continue this conversation, I would be most appreciative.”
Princess Luna did not look like she wanted to answer any questions. The pale blue eyeshadow that she had begun to use was faded and beginning to blotch, and her coat was rough in patches where she had been resting during her evening tasks. There had been no end of official functionaries who wished to speak with Her Highness at all hours to explain their particular cog in the bureaucratic machine, and why it needed more bits for oil lest the whole mechanism grind to a terrible halt. Sunrise spelled the end of their pleas, particularly after she made it known that while Sun was up, she was only to be disturbed by things on fire.
There was a not-so-subtle implication in her statement that if things were not on fire when she was disturbed, they would be soon, starting with the disturber.
Luna’ cool teal gaze slid from the reporter over to Eb, then darted down to the alert young unicorn colt who was sitting perfectly upright at his side. “Beg pardoner, Miss Diamonde. We have a previous appointment. Your interview will wait.”
“Oh, about that.” The reporter had a very pleased smile, much like a predator seeing a wounded prey animal all alone. “You see, I already have an article set to run in this evening’s Canterlot Sun. Had to reserve the space for my column, you see. If I’m unable to get your interview today, I’m afraid it will have to run instead of—” her smile only grew into a shark-like grin “—this.”
“I see.” Eb had gotten quite good at recognizing alicorn body language, and all he could think of was a very small shark who had just antagonized an extremely large shark and had not realized her mistake yet. Luna was restraining her ire well to any ordinary observer, but Eb could hear the snap in her voice as she added, “I presume the news paper article you are referring to is rather derogatory in nature?”
“There are so many rumors flying about the palace,” said Diamonde as she raised her notepad and placed the pencil to it. “Cracks in your renewed relationship with your sister, for example. Your difficulty acclimating to our modern era. And some particularly tasty rumors about your relationship with your personal guard. I mean Shining Armor is just so scrubbed and clean he squeaks, so the only stories there are on the society pages. Princess Mi Amore and her young stallion visit the such-and-such festival, photos on page five. But him?”
Diamonde gave Eb a long, evaluating look, from his stubby tail to the short mane around his ears that had just barely grown out enough that he was considering having it barbered down to his previous approved Guard cut. Eb had never really been looked at that way before except by his wife, and it made his regrowing skin crawl under his thickening grey coat.
“You believe that We are taking inappropriate actions in regard to Warleader Ebon Tide,” said Luna in a tone of voice that indicated it was not a question in any regard.
“No!” Diamonde gave a little hoof-flip of derision while her pencil continued its work on the notepad, most probably writing the exact opposite. “What you do with your handsome hunk is entirely up to you. I mean rank hath its privileges after all. Princess Celestia at least keeps her private assignments private. You’re prancing around through the city with tall dark and sexy there all evenings, checking out the night life with your little fillyfriend for cover. I mean it’s just so obvious.”
“Obvious,” said Luna flatly.
“And now you’ve got a little unicorn colt as a plaything,” continued Diamonde with a smirk. “Really, I’ve got so many questions that you all really want to answer.”
Eb had been holding himself perfectly immobile since the reporter had insinuated Peanut Brittle was some sort of… No, he could not think that thought or he was going to murder the mare right here in the middle of the corridor. Then she expanded her slander to Pine Apple and something deep inside him snapped like a burning twig, making his words come out razor-sharp and deadly.
“Ask what questions you wish, and we shall answer to the best of our abilities. However, I must warn you, if you cast aspersions upon Her Highness, even in the slightest, I will kill you where you stand.”
The reporter snorted in amusement, then the carefree expression on her face did not so much as slide off but faded into the corners of her eyes. She appeared to be unable to turn away from his face for a long moment, only to jerk in shock as Princess Luna added, “And I shall pardon him.”
“You can’t be serious,” said the reporter in what appeared to be a reflexive instinct to deny any reality she did not like.
Ebon Tide allowed his lips to curl back, revealing his new, sharp teeth. “Try me.”
Her cold eyes flickered down to where Pine Apple was still sitting perfectly immobile by his side, although Eb could feel the child tremble where he was pressed up against one leg.
“You wouldn’t do anything in front of the kid,” said the reporter rapidly as if she were trying to weave a defensive spell out of mere words.
“I am a scion of House Honor,” said Pine Apple in a voice worthy of a unicorn twice his age and then some. “We serve the Princesses.”
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Kids can be unexpectedly supportive.
Here I was thinking I'd managed to sneak in before the author's first post :)
And this is how Pine Apple showed that he knew which secrets were best kept secret.
I smell a conspiracy. The only question is the source.
11409978
Well, dead bodies and all that, it's a surprisingly broad field of interest.
Very good chapter. I'm very curious to see how deep this reporter digs her own grave.
Diplomanticing is cool and all, but bits are forever. And pay the rent.
Bureaucrats have an innate fear of fire, because of all the paper.
Palace Bureaucrats have a highly honed and trained innate fear of fire, because of all the paper. And the
Princess.Princesses. And the phoenix. But mostly the Princesses.And, like, is really good at keeping secrets.
I wonder who is going to be better at massages between all the new quality manipulable digiy trainers?
Intresting commonality there.
I take it dragon is nervous because she believes she is walking in an expensive wet cardboard world filled with buffet snacks, and a high calibre plasma cannon pointing at her head?
As for that reporter. Im very impressed that her direct attack on the Princess, Guard, and Child associate didnt reult in her immediate supression, arrest and extensive interrgation, or even a fossilised impression in the the stone wall. Rmoving the safeties on combat teleportation lets you do all sorts of horrific things, though Death Light is supposed to be One Shot.
That reporter better have her affairs in order, because those insinuations she made of one of the Royal Alicorns were a big mistake. She reminds me of another fictional reporter who would say or do ANYTHING for a story no matter how false, how destructive, or how illegal. A reporter by the name of Rita Skeeter.
Nice little colt, I like him : )
This story turned to some intriguing directions, impatiently waiting for more : )
I hate that girl. Her eating from ice from a cone with a spoon is a immoral act that enrages and assures all her parents failed in her upbringing.
SAVE US SLIM WHITMAN!
Ear buds would probably would be the easier course.
Celestia and her probably already own the store or at least the building, so shes paying herself with her own money.
Thats totally not elitist right there. Everyone knows that no pegasus or thestral should lower themselves to that of pack horse, and no unicorn would dare sully their craft with mundane things like levitation or, say, utilization of some sort of porting. Nope, thats for the peasants.
Know your place muck horse.
That has to be a blow knowing that your vocation is more or less rendered null by the fact your fellows can simply go pester the old mare about how things were back then.
Luna has wings. They will serve her well when she decides to get over herself.
Pine Apple is awesome. He just guaranteed himself a job in Lunas reign if its wanted, lol. Loyalty is hard to find.
Ebon kills her, Luna pardons him, Pine witnesses, I hide the body. Everybody wins! Well, everyone that matters...
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Is it any wonder folks wanna kick the Old Gray Lady's feet out from under her
Hey, I got this reference! I even own several of them! I got a lot of my mothers from the 50s.
As others have said, Pineapple Squares has just guaranteed his entry into whatever Guard unit he would like... as they say, the key to a good bluff is to ensure that it is seen as a guarantee not a bluff.
As much as Luna and Eb know they cannot do this, they have played on Diamonde's arrogance and dismissal of them as 'Throwbacks to a Darker Time' and allowed her mind to fill in the blanks of what may have happened to individuals who displeased the Crowns in those days.
Pineapple's response nicely underlined that past with his oath of historical honour. Diamonde now realises she stands before two very powerful ponies who radiate the belief that Words and Actions of Dishonour and Deceit reap what they deserve and a third pony who will not just stand by but endorse it.
At this point, feelings of smugness are hopefully being fast replaced by feelings of mortality and a contemplation of quiet holes in the ground vaguely unicorn shaped and unmarked.
For a moment I was horrified that you here going to have your characters fold under the reporters attempted blackmail.
Not sure why I actually expected it, but I'm giddy that it didnt.
Awesome chapter! I bet Luna could get away with throwing a "journalist" out the window without too much backlash. Some may even praise her for it.
Pine Apple Square does NOT mess around... Awesome kid