8(a) – I'll Be Fine
Sometimes, I find myself missing certain qualities about my old self. There aren't a lot of them, and it's not a feeling I get very often, either. It’s just that, back then, things were so much simpler. Emotions were easier to deal with, and because of that, I was much happier than I’ve been in recent months.
Though, I guess it’s not exactly true to say I ‘dealt’ with them more easily; I just never dealt with most of them in general. Anger was the only exception just because it’s such a hard emotion to ignore, but everything else was always easy to shove into the back of my mind. Instead of letting myself feel certain things, I only let myself feel the things that made me feel good.
Unfortunately – or I guess fortunately, it’s hard to say which – ignoring the feelings of myself and others had ended in disaster on almost every occasion, and I couldn’t be that way anymore. It’s part of what landed me in the position I’m in now. Maybe that wouldn’t trouble me so much if not for the fact that I barely know how to deal with myself, and I seemingly wasn't making any progress towards figuring it out, either.
One of the wonderful parting gifts I received as a result of the Formal was something I’ve started to call emotional desync. On the rare occasion things are going well for me, I find it hard to react to that properly. It’s like my brain is a separate entity, and we are constantly at odds with each other. When I should be happy or hopeful, it tells me to feel anxious and wary of everything. It's like I’m just waiting for someone to pull the rug from underneath me at any moment, and the longer it takes for that to happen, the more afraid I am.
The higher I get, the longer the inevitable fall back to the bottom is, and the more grueling the climb back up becomes.
For the last week, that feeling has been incessant. On the exterior, things are better than they’ve been in a while – the girls have treated me less like a background character, Rainbow Dash has been less standoffish, and, tonight, I was headed to a sleepover they’d practically been begging me to come to – so what was there to worry about?
All things considered, I had more reasons to be optimistic than not. These were all signs of progress, but it was like they were coming too fast. Everything between us had been moving forward at a glacial pace until this week, but now we were full steam ahead. I found it hard to trust that.
On one hand, I knew my uneasiness was based on my personal history. Life since the Formal had made it abundantly clear that things aren’t supposed to work out like this; not for people like me, anyway. On the other hand, I knew the other reason I couldn’t bring myself to be happy about these recent developments: resentment.
Days, weeks, months of awkward, forced interactions between us, and suddenly they were all pretending like we’d all been friends forever, as though the past week – or the few months that preceded it – hadn’t happened. But they did happen. And yet it felt as though they were all trying to move on and forget about it as fast as they could.
But was it really fair of me to begrudge them for that? Shouldn’t I want to move on from that as fast as possible, too? There’s nothing they or I can do about our sordid past, so why shouldn’t I just live in the present and look forward to the future? I guess, for some inexplicable and stupid reason, I wasn’t as ready to move things forward as quickly as they were.
Part of my resentment also came from how hard they tried to convince me to come to this damn sleepover. All week long, the girls had very subtly tried to entice me into coming along to their slumber party. At lunch, they seemed to always make a point of talking about all the fun things they had planned, occasionally asking me for my thoughts on certain activities. In their defense, it made sense for them to talk about it then. It was one of the few times of the day all of us would be together, and they were all excited about it.
What irritated me was the fact that they tried to pester me outside of lunch, too. Sometimes, one of the girls would ‘randomly’ bump into me in the hallway and strike up a conversation – something they rarely ever did before last week – just to eventually pivot the discussion topic toward the impending slumber party. I’d nod along and say ‘yeah’ every now and then, but, in the end, my answer was always the same: maybe, but probably not.
The only thing more naked than their attempts to goad me into saying I’d come were their motivations. The message was clear: this was meant to be their big apology for everything. That wasn't inherently a bad thing, and I knew I should appreciate the sentiment, but it just made me bitter. I wanted to be included because they wanted to include me, not because they felt guilty.
Their hounding isn’t what finally won me over, though. Even being constantly, casually coerced wasn’t enough to make me cave. Had that been the extent of their attempts, I would have easily said no in the end.
But I didn't. Just as I was ready to tell them I wasn’t coming, Fluttershy found me before school ended one day. She didn’t try to emphasize how much fun it would be, she didn’t awkwardly try to get me to say whether or not I was going; she just plainly asked me if I was coming, and said she’d really like to see me there.
Had it not been for that, I would have flaked at the last second, just as I had planned. If only I had. I really wish I had. But, as has been the case multiple times in the past few weeks, I had committed myself to this, and I couldn’t turn back now. It’s not like I believed she’d actually be that happy if I showed up. I still wasn’t entirely convinced she was being nice to me for any other reason than security. But, even with that in mind, it felt like she was the only one being real with me. I couldn’t say no.
That’s how I ended up here: pulling up into Rarity’s driveway, a ball of ice sitting in the pit of my stomach as I killed my motorcycle’s engine. This was it.
Trying my hardest to clear the worries from my mind, I thought of Skates’s advice from last week. Go with the flow. Don’t worry about what might happen, and just let things happen. To his credit, that advice had proven mostly effective thus far, but tonight was a different story.
It’s easier not to worry about what bad things might happen when you’re not at a predisposition to make them happen. Two hours of sleep followed by a work shift four times that length had left me feeling like a shambling, irascible corpse. I had absolutely no patience for anyone or anything. All the conditions were perfect for me to snap or explode at someone who even looked at me funny. How could tonight not end in disaster?
Go with the flow, let things happen, don’t worry so much. Just repeat those things until I internalize them. Even if following that advice is going to be harder than trying to dribble a football.
With a deep sigh, I pulled my helmet off, placing it into the saddlebag before dismounting from my bike. My head swiveled around as I slowly made my way to Rarity’s front door. Rarity may not act like a rich snob, but she always gave off the impression of affluence, and the building she lived in and the ones that surrounded it proved that wasn’t just a front.
Even with how deliberately slow my paces were, I was at her front door before I knew it. I swallowed, sighed, and stretched my hand out to knock. Before I even had a chance to do so, however, the door swung open so fast I thought it might fly off the hinges. In the doorway before me was Pinkie Pie, practically vibrating with the widest smile I’d ever seen on her face – an impressive feat, considering how often she was smiling.
“Oh my gosh! Sunset! You’re here! I didn’t think you’d actually show up, but you're here!”
Despite my exhaustion and anxiety, I was going to try and smile back, but after hearing she didn’t even expect me to show up, I really didn’t feel like it.
“Hi, Pinkie,” I tepidly greeted. “Where’s Rarity?”
Pinkie took a deep breath before answering. “Rarity went to go pick up pizza but she told me to wait by the door in case you showed up, and I was like ‘but Rarity, I’m already doing something in the kitchen, I can’t be in two places at once’ and then she was like ‘darling, the front door is in the room next to the kitchen, just listen out for a knock’ and then I was like ‘but what if I don't get there in time and Sunset leaves before I answer?’ so she was like ‘oh my goodness just get Fluttershy to come help you or something, do you have to make this so difficult,’ and then I said–”
“Okay!” I snapped. “I get it. She’s not here. Can I come inside now?” Despite my irritable interruption, Pinkie seemed unfazed by my attitude.
“Of course, silly! Let me show you around!” she beamed.
Before I could manage to utter a response, Pinkie grabbed me by the wrist and yanked me inside the house.
Pinkie barreled down the hallway with me in tow. As we sped through the house, she hastily pointed out where everything was, but the breakneck speed at which she did made it impossible to understand anything. I wanted to tell her to slow down, but all my mental energy was spent on trying not to fall over every time she’d yank me forward. Her grip on my wrist was so tight I was afraid that, if I stumbled, my arm might make it to Rarity’s room without the rest of me.
The harrowing journey came to an end moments later, though the constant peril of nearly falling flat on my face made it feel so much longer than that.
“Here we are!” she exclaimed. “Welcome to Rarity’s room!”
Pinkie pushed the door open as if it were weightless, a loud slam following as it hit the wall. On the other side of the room, Applejack and Rainbow Dash were sitting in front of a haphazardly set up TV, playing a video game. Even with Pinkie’s explosive entrance, both of them were too focused to turn around.
“Girls! You’re never gonna believe who’s here!” Even though I was standing behind Pinkie, I narrowed my eyes, glaring at her. Was it really that hard for her to believe I’d actually keep my word about showing up?
“I hope it’s the pizza,” Dash replied, not bothering to turn around and face us. “Any longer and I might starve to death.”
“WRONG!” Her voice was so loud it made my ear ring for a brief moment. Then, she jerked my wrist again, pulling me forward and raising my hand up in the air. “It’s Sunset Shimmer!”
A chime rang from the video game as a pause screen came up. Rainbow Dash and Applejack finally turned around, both wearing a look of surprise as their eyes landed on me. Did everyone think I was just lying when I said I’d show? And was it really necessary for Pinkie to put me on the spot like this? Not even here for more than five minutes, and I already wanted to go home.
Applejack’s expression shifted into a friendly smile. “Well I’ll be! Glad you could make it, Sunset.”
“Thanks, glad to be here.” I flashed a weak smile back at her, hoping it would be enough to conceal how not-glad I really was.
“Aww man, way to go, Sunset,” Dash whined. “I owe Applejack twenty bucks because of you.”
Processing her complaint, I just stared blankly at her for a few moments. “You bet money I wasn’t gonna show up?”
Rainbow Dash looked away sheepishly. “W-Well, I mean, it’s not like that, it’s just–”
“Don’t pay her no mind,” Applejack interrupted, putting her hand on Dash’s head and mussing her hair. “Dash here’s good at a lotta things, but there ain’t nothin’ she’s better at than bein’ wrong.”
“Hey! I am not!” Dash cried out.
“I dunno,” Pinkie added. “I’ve only been in here one whole minute and you’ve been wrong twice now! That's two times a minute!”
Dash glared at her. “Whose side are you on?”
Pinkie looked at me, then back to Dash. “Sunset’s left!” she answered, punctuated with a giggle.
“That’s not– ugh, nevermind!” Dash surrendered.
"Don't matter whose side she's on," AJ smugly interjected. "Cough up, sugar cube."
As Applejack and Dash began to bicker back and forth about their wager, I tuned them out. The fact that Dash bet against me stung a little, but I quickly let it go. In the end, I couldn’t really be that upset. After all, I was pretty wishy-washy with my answer the whole week. Besides, AJ bet in my favor, so that meant someone believed in me, at least.
That brought me to another thought. Looking around the room, I quickly realized there was another person missing aside from Rarity.
“Where’s Fluttershy?” I asked.
Both Applejack and Dash had gone back to playing their game, leaving Pinkie as the only one who could answer the question.
“Oh, she was in the kitchen with me, but I think she went to the bathroom right before you showed up! She’ll probably come up here once she knows you’re here.” Pinkie pointed toward a pile of bags near the door. “Anyway, you can put your stuff there. Rarity should be back soon, but if you need anything, I’ll be in the kitchen. I’m making some special ice cream sandwiches with cookie dough ice cream between two double chocolate peanut butter cookies! You’re gonna LOVE them!”
Just as I was about to make a comment about how that sounded like a way to get both types of diabetes at once, Pinkie had already vanished.
Slipping my bag off my shoulders, I let it fall next to the pile of others. My head turned slowly as I took in everything in Rarity’s room. While I hadn’t seen it on the inside before, I knew it doubled as her personal studio. Even with that in mind, it was much larger than I imagined it would be.
Along the walls of the enormous room were many shelves and cupboards plus a couple sewing machines, all of differing sizes. There were a few dressers and desks around the room as well, each with stacks of fabric and other materials. What caught my eye more than all of that, however, was the back wall, where multiple mannequins were lined up, each posing in a different partially-finished outfit.
Just looking in that direction gave me the creeps. Even after being in a human body for a few years, I still found the way humans looked unsettlingly foreign, and the mannequins only managed to amplify all the things I found strange about the human form. That, plus the lack of any defining features on all of them deeply unnerved me.
Finally, my eyes fixed on Rarity’s bed. The headboard was practically buried in far more pillows than one person could ever need. The blanket on top was a mix of white, blue, and purple, with little gemstone designs toward the bottom. Everything Rarity owned seemed to be designed in a way that made it unmistakably hers. Even her cat, curled up in a ball and fast asleep at the foot of the bed, matched Rarity’s stylistic preferences. At first, I almost hadn’t noticed it. Its color scheme matched the bed closely – wearing a purple collar with blue gemstones in it, barely visible under tufts of long, white fur.
Looking at it reminded me of the day I worked at the shelter with Fluttershy. Of all the animals I worked with, cats were the ones I found the most enjoyable. They were soft, quiet, and usually pretty sweet. Thinking this one would be no different, I began to approach it.
Reaching out toward it slowly, I made a quiet kissing sound to get its attention. With its eyes creaking open, its ears perked up. It sniffed my hand, its cold, wet nose occasionally making contact with my skin. When it seemed finished, I extended my hand forward just a bit, attempting to pet it on the head.
That was a mistake.
The moment my fingers grazed the fur on the top of her head, the cat suddenly jumped to life. As it hopped up, it swatted with its sharp claws, leaving a slight cut across the top of my hand.
“Ow! What the fuck?” I yelped, quickly pulling my hand back.
The cat hissed, jumping off the bed and darting toward the open door. As I watched it run off, I noticed Fluttershy was standing in the doorway. She wore a sympathetic smile, presumably having just witnessed the cat attacking me.
Immediately, I began to worry that she might have thought I was antagonizing it. Before that idea could possibly settle in her mind, I vomited out an explanation.
“I-I swear I didn’t do anything to it,” I stammered. “I was just trying to pet it and it attacked me for no reason.”
Fluttershy blinked and giggled. “Oh, I know, don’t worry. Opal gets that way around most new people. She’s a very particular little kitty, but she can be sweet when she wants to be.”
Relief washed over me, followed by embarrassment, and another emotion I couldn’t quite describe. My cheeks felt warm as I smiled back at her. It felt nice that she didn’t automatically assume the worst.
Fluttershy approached me, grabbing and holding onto my hand in both of hers as she examined the cut on it. “It doesn’t look like she managed to cut you very deep, at least.”
“Yeah, it didn’t hurt that bad,” I replied. “Just caught me by surprise, that’s all.”
After that, she continued holding onto my hand, examining both sides of it for some reason. It left me in a very awkward position. I wasn’t really sure why she hadn’t let go yet considering the cut wasn’t all that big. Was there some other sign of injury she was looking for? Would it be rude of me to pull my hand away now?
As if she could detect my apprehension, Fluttershy looked up at me, her eyes widening as my hand quickly dropped from her grasp. “O-Oh, sorry.” She held both her hands behind her back, shifting around in place. “I was just checking to make sure it wasn’t inflamed or anything. Even little cat scratches can cause big problems if not treated carefully.”
That explanation seemed like a bit of a stretch considering the cut wasn't even deep enough to draw blood. Considering how much she worked with animals, I figured she would know what she’s talking about, so I didn't give it much thought beyond that. “It’s alright, doc. I appreciate the diagnosis,” I ribbed.
Fluttershy gave me a timid smile before she spoke up again. “Umm, I’m really glad you decided to come.”
Stifling an exasperated sigh, I let out a quiet exhale through my nose instead. “Jeez, none of you expected me to show up, huh?”
“Wha-no! I didn’t mean it like that! It’s just that–”
“Relax,” I interrupted. “To be honest, I wasn’t even sure if I was gonna come. So, even if you didn’t expect me to, I wouldn’t have blamed you.”
Her body relaxed, though her brow remained knit. “Well, I never doubted you, but that doesn’t mean I’m not still happy to see you.”
“Never thought I’d hear you of all people say that.” I punctuated my reply with a hollow chuckle.
Fluttershy held her smile, but it seemed strained after that remark. My stomach twisted as I realized that probably wasn’t the best thing to say in response to someone being happy to see me. As always, I know just what to say and when.
“But I appreciate it, Fluttershy. That means a lot,” I said, attempting to save face. The strain in her expression seemed to dissipate after that.
Then we just stood awkwardly for a few moments. Neither of us seemed sure of what to say next, but eventually, she broke the pause between us.
“Well, I’m going to go see if Pinkie Pie needs any help in the kitchen. Be back soon!”
“Have fun,” I teased as she hurriedly made her way out of Rarity’s room.
A split second after Fluttershy was out of view, Dash suddenly yelled from across the room. “Yes! In your face!” Dash shouted, a victorious smirk spread across her face.
Applejack let out a sharp exhale as she dropped her controller. “Alright, I think I’ve had enough.”
“What? You can’t give up yet!” Dash argued. “You almost got me that round. One more match?”
“You said that the last eight rounds in a row. Either pick another game, or find someone else’s ass to beat.”
“Aww, come on, AJ! Just one more!” Dash pleaded. “Look, I’ll even choose a different character this time.”
“Forget it.” Shaking her head, AJ stood up from her spot on the floor. “You might be havin fun’, but losin’ over and over ain’t any fun to me.”
“Fine, be a sore loser!” Dash grabbed the controller, lifting the peripheral into the air as she did. “Anyone else think they got what it takes to break my win-streak?”
Soon, Dash realized there was only one other possible opponent in the room. As our gazes met, her eyes narrowed as her grin widened.
“How about you, Sunset?” she prodded.
Crossing my arms, I gave her a half-lidded stare. “Sorry, but I'm with Applejack on this one. I'm not sure if losing at a game I’ve never played before to someone who’s played it a bunch is my idea of a good time, either.”
Dash’s grin morphed into a wicked smirk. “Don’t be like that! The game isn’t that hard.”
I scoffed. “You’re just saying that because you know you’ll win.”
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “So what, you’re giving up before you even start? Are you that scared of losing at a video game?”
Part of me knew I should decline just to deny her the satisfaction of a possible victory, but she was challenging me, and Sunset Shimmer doesn’t walk away from a challenge.
“Come on, Sunny! I’ll even go easy on you,” she prodded.
That was pure provocation, but knowing that did nothing to quell my irritation. Narrowing my eyes, I quickly made my way over to the spot where Applejack was previously sitting. Perhaps only playing a handful of video games in my life made for a steep handicap, but I didn’t care. I was determined to make her regret taunting me.
Standing over her, I squinted as our eyes met once more. “First off: don’t call me Sunny. Ever.”
I snatched the controller from her hand. “Second: you’re on.”
Lowering myself to the floor, I sat cross-legged next to her. “And lastly: don’t you even think about going easy on me.”
“It’s your funeral,” she remarked, that same smug smile on her face.
Looking down at the controller, I tried my best to quickly examine it. It didn’t take long for me to realize I’d never seen this kind of controller before, so I was at even more of a disadvantage than I thought. Still, I was undeterred. Even if I had no energy, even if I didn’t know anything about this game, and even if I was more than likely about to get my ass handed to me, I would go down fighting until the bitter end.
After Dash pressed a few buttons on the controller, the screen displayed a grid full of characters. The variety of choices was almost overwhelming. Most of the fighters used their fists, but a few of them had weapons. Something about that confused me. Why would someone pick a fighter who didn’t have a weapon? In a fight between someone armed with just their fists versus someone with a six foot sword, I could only ever imagine the one with the weapon winning.
As we chose our characters, the game began loading. Dash leaned over, pointing at several of the buttons and explaining what each one did. Of course, she went so fast that I retained absolutely none of what she was saying. Maybe that was because I was so tired, or maybe she did it on purpose, but that was okay either way. Knowing the buttons would do me no good until I realized how it felt to use them in game.
Once the round started, I quickly began mashing all of the buttons in a row to find out what each one of them did. Some of them caused my character to punch, others caused him to kick, but I had little time to experiment beyond that. For the first part of the fight, Rainbow Dash occasionally smacked me around while I tried to figure out what button or combination of buttons I had to hit to bring out the sword. It wasn't long before she got bored of waiting and started attacking me full force.
Eventually, after Dash had brought my character down to half health, I figured out how to equip the sword. The moment I did is when the battle truly began. She continued to play aggressively, trying to back me into a corner, and when she did I would turtle for as long as she sustained her flurry of strikes. Then, when I found an opening, I began to press each of the attack buttons in specific orders, waiting for one attack to finish before pressing the next one, chaining the attacks together.
Unfortunately, because it took me so long to figure out how to use the sword, Dash managed to take the first round. That said, she didn’t do it without taking a fair amount of damage herself. Looking over at her, I expected her arrogance to be on full display, but it wasn’t. Instead, her face was unreadable as she intently stared at the screen, waiting for the next round to begin.
When the second round started, I quickly pulled out the sword and stuck with it. Playing passively at first, I analyzed Rainbow Dash’s patterns, trying to figure out what move combinations she relied on most. This resulted in me soaking up a ton of damage again, and it wasn’t long before she managed to break through my defenses and put my character down for the count. The first match went to her, but I wasn’t upset. Now that I’d felt out how to play the game, the next match would be the one that mattered.
“Aren’t you going to even try?” Dash looked over at me with that shit-eating smirk she shot at AJ earlier. Her words did little to shake my resolve. Considering how focused she looked between rounds, I was more of a challenge than she anticipated. She was just trying to intimidate me, and I wasn’t having it.
“You’ll see,” I softly remarked. Little did she know I knew what to expect from her. Her pride would be her downfall.
After we both chose the same characters as before, the game loaded up into a new arena. Taking a deep breath, I prepared myself for the next round, exhaling as I leaned forward, focusing hard on the TV in front of us.
Once again, Rainbow Dash opened with an aggressive combination of attacks. Thinking back to the last round, I quickly figured out exactly what pattern she was going for, blocking every single hit. When I found my opening, I began rushing her down with moves of my own. The speed at which my character swung his massive sword was painfully slow, but when it hit, it hit hard. Getting caught in a single combo was enough to take a third of her health away. My health bar, however, was still relatively full.
As the fight continued, I could hear Dash occasionally grunting and exhaling. Hearing that bolstered my confidence. She seemed so relaxed when it was her against Applejack, but with me, she had to try. I couldn’t wait to see the look on her face when I swiped victory from underneath her.
The longer the fight went on, the more I began to recognize her fighting patterns. There were only a handful of attack combinations she knew, and she would constantly rely on those. The hardest part was identifying what those patterns were, and after a while that wasn’t very difficult at all. Eventually, I learned to identify them so well that I could counter her attacks and launch into my own attacks immediately after.
It wasn’t long before the first round was decided. Dash growled in frustration as her character fell to the ground. My second match ever, and I was halfway to sweet, sweet victory.
“You got lucky,” she muttered. Instead of responding, I kept my focus on the TV, my fingers ready to hammer away at the buttons the very second the game allowed me to.
Unfortunately, the second round didn’t go as well. While I had started learning her patterns, she’d also been paying attention to my own habits. Once I noticed I was relying on certain attacks and getting countered, I switched them up. Sometimes, I would change attack combinations in the middle, or stop attacking all together just to throw her off. It was too little too late, however, and as my character face-planted, the second round went to her.
“Like I said: lucky,” she taunted. Once again, I ignored her.
Match point. We were both determined to win this by any means necessary, and the intensity at which we both stared at the screen proved that. Going through the motions at the beginning of the fight, I quickly realized we were almost evenly matched.
All of the rounds thus far had been quick, but this one felt like it was going on for an eternity. Just when it looked like one of us was going to beat the other into submission, the other would counter, and the tide of battle would shift. It was back and forth for the entirety of the round, with neither of us favored to win at any point.
As our health bars steadily dwindled, my heartbeat grew louder and louder. It was coming down to the wire, and soon the victor would be decided. Sweat dripped down my brow as I focused as hard as I possibly could, trying my best to play defensively while still being aggressive when I had an opening. Every mistake Dash made would be followed with a thorough punishment, but as my nerves continued to mount, my own mistakes did not go unpunished.
Finally, with only twenty seconds left on the timer, we were both down to our last sliver of health. Whoever landed a hit first would decide the entire match. The pressure was on. There was no more room to be defensive, I was going to get the last strike and win. Dash went into this expecting yet another easy victory, and I'd denied her the satisfaction of totally stomping me. Even if I lost, I could be proud of that.
But as my character ran toward hers, I felt something hit my shoulder. Before I could register what it was, my body was falling sideways, the controller slipping out of my hands as I suddenly became very intimate with the carpeted floor. When I regained my equilibrium and grabbed the controller once more, I looked up at the TV screen. My fighter was down for the count. In those few seconds between the shove and landing on the ground, Rainbow Dash had swiped victory from underneath me.
Pushing myself up from the floor, I glowered at Rainbow Dash. I wanted to shout at her, but if I were to properly express how enraged I was, everyone in the house would have heard me. “What the fuck was that?”
Rainbow Dash looked at me, feigning confusion. “What are you talking about?”
“You just knocked me over when I was about to beat you!”
“No you weren’t.”
“Yes, you did!”
Dash chuckled. “I didn’t say I didn’t knock you over. I just said you weren’t about to beat me.”
If looks could kill, the death glare I shot her after that would have vaporized her. And yet, as my eyes bore into her, she held that smug grin, completely unbothered by how livid I knew I looked.
Eventually, her attitude finally faltered. “Jeez, lighten up, will you? It’s just a stupid game.”
It was like she tried to think of the worst thing to say to me at that moment. Yeah, it was just a stupid game, but that wasn’t the part that pissed me off, and she knew that. She had to be screwing with me.
What made me so upset was the fact that she did something so underhanded to ensure her victory. It was the fact that she probably wouldn’t have done that to any of the other girls. It was the fact that, at the end of all of it all, she’d made this personal just to pretend that it wasn’t. All because she couldn’t stand the idea of me winning against her in a ‘stupid game.’
Just as several expletives were about to erupt from my throat, Applejack piped up from behind. “Come on, Dash, you can’t be sayin’ ‘it’s a stupid game’ after pullin’ some shit like that. That ain’t fair and you know it.”
Applejack had been watching us, though I couldn’t tell how long she’d been standing there. Both of us were so focused on the game that we hadn’t even noticed she was spectating.
“What can I say?” Dash shrugged. “I get competitive sometimes.”
“Cheatin’ ‘cause you’re gonna lose ain’t bein’ competitive.”
“I wasn’t going to lose!”
Applejack and Dash started to banter back and forth again. My eyes were following the conversation, but their words eventually became white noise.
Suddenly, this felt like such a stupid thing to be angry about, but the fact that this happened at all was stupid in itself. Even if this was just an example of her ‘competitive nature,’ shouldn’t she be trying to avoid doing things like this? Things that anyone could rightfully call her an asshole for? Things that would undoubtedly stoke the lingering tension between us specifically?
My thoughts were soon interrupted as Applejack turned her attention to me, snapping me out of my momentary stupor.
“Sorry about Dash here, Sunset. It ain’t nothin’ personal. She does this kinda shit to us all the time. If I’m ever about to beat her, she’ll turn off the console or somethin’ just so I don’t.”
“I do not!”
Instead of verbally disagreeing with her, AJ shot Dash a glare. The tension between them became thick, and after what felt like an entire silent argument happening in front of me, Dash let out a defeated sigh.
“Okay, fine,” she surrendered. “AJ’s right, that was really uncool of me. Honestly, it was just an impulse, but I’m sorry about that, Sunset. No hard feelings, right?”
Yes, hard feelings, actually. It didn't matter how genuine her apology sounded, I was too mad to care. Even if what she did wasn’t personal, how could I see it any other way? I was still just as upset as before, but now I felt even more stupid. Like I shouldn’t be angry about it because I should have known she wasn’t doing that just to get under my skin. Like it was my fault I was feeling like this.
What did it matter if she did this to everyone else, anyway? It was as shitty of a thing to do to me as it would be to anyone. If any of the other girls got as mad at her as I was, I wouldn’t have blamed them. But no, it’s just yet another case of ‘Dash being Dash.’ This was just normal to everyone, so that meant it had to be normal to me, too. And if it wasn’t, then it was a problem with me – not her.
The anger inside of me couldn't decide whether it should direct itself at me or her. It just kept compounding the more and more I thought about it.
“Uhh, Sunset? You good?” Applejack’s voice once again snapped me out of my internal fit.
Shaking my head very slightly, I tried my best to mask how I really felt. “Yeah, I, umm… I’m gonna run to the bathroom real quick,” I flatly replied.
As I stood up from the floor, I could tell their eyes were following me. And while I may not have looked at either of them directly, I could feel the concerned looks on their faces, and it just made me ill.
Ignoring the both of them, I made my way out of Rarity’s bedroom. I wanted to try to hide all the negativity I felt, but I could tell it was on full display for both of them. Still, I wasn’t going to make this any bigger than it needed to be. At least not something as stupid and inconsequential as Dash cheating to win at a video game.
Eventually, I found my way into Rarity’s bathroom, closing the door and locking it behind me. It’s not like I expected anyone to try and enter while I was in there, but I did it for my own peace of mind. It was as if I was emphasizing to myself how bad I wanted to be alone.
Resting my hands flat against the bathroom counter, I looked at my own reflection. An empty smile spread across my face as my eyes met my own. A familiar sentence flashed through my head – one I hadn’t thought about in a couple weeks – which pushed its way out of my mouth.
“No one said this friendship thing would be easy,” I muttered, almost as if I was mocking myself. Immediately after those words left my lips, what little mirth that was in my expression disappeared.
What part of this wasn't easy, anyway? On the surface, nothing, really. Rainbow Dash didn’t do what she did because of any personal grievances; she just did that with everyone. Not only that, but Applejack actually stepped in and said something before things could escalate. All in all, this was a pretty easy to handle confrontation – easier than most that had come before it – and yet I couldn’t help but be bitter.
Not just at Dash for shoving me, but at AJ for apologizing on Dash’s behalf. It wasn’t even her apology that bothered me. It was both the fact that she felt the need to, and that she excused Dash’s behavior. Just because everyone else let it go, that meant I was expected to as well. What a load of shit.
Turning the faucet handle, I let the water run for a few seconds until it got nice and cold. Once the water was cool enough, I splashed my face with it. It did little to quell my frustration, and even less to make me feel more awake, but it helped nonetheless. I had a feeling this wasn’t the last time I’d be in here doing this before the night ended.
But I couldn’t afford to linger. If I was gone for too long, that would raise questions. If I stayed too long, it wouldn’t have been long after I left that the rest of the girls were informed about it, and then they’d all be worried. Every minute I put off going back would make my return that much more awkward. With a deep breath, I shut the faucet off and turned toward the exit.
Reaching for the handle, my hand suddenly came to a halt as I heard a noise on the other side of the door. It was like someone was quickly swiping their nails against the wood near the floor. At first, I didn’t know what to think. Was it someone checking if the bathroom was occupied? If so, what kind of weirdo scratches on the bottom of a door instead of knocking? I may be an extradimensional pony, but even I knew that was not normal human behavior.
As I opened the door, I quickly realized it was because there was no normal human behind on the other side. In fact, there was no human at all. It was Rarity’s cat, who swiftly rushed into the bathroom the moment the door was open wide enough for it to slip inside.
Expecting it to hiss and swat at me again, I jumped out of its way. It didn’t seem all that concerned with me, though. Instead, it looked up at the sink, shook its rear-end a couple times, and gracefully hopped up onto the bathroom counter. Once there, the cat began to rub its face against the faucet.
Then it turned to me, its eyes big and wide as it let out the most meek, pitiful-sounding meow I’d ever heard – a far cry from the sharp hiss she greeted me with when we first met. Thinking it wanted attention, I reached my hand out and tried to pet its head. When my fingers got too close, it swatted them away. Its claws were withdrawn this time, but it still made it known that it wasn’t in the mood for affection.
It was acting like it wanted me to do something – that much I could tell – but any time I got close to it, it would swipe at me again. I just kept watching it go back and forth between the sink and the edge of the counter. What was wrong with this cat? Why did it seem to have less of an idea of what it wanted than I did? Was it broken? Should I call Fluttershy to come over it and fix it or whatever?
After watching the cat for a little longer, my brain hatched an idea. The cat would bounce between mewling and rubbing her face against the faucet. Maybe she was trying to get me to turn the faucet on so it could take a drink? Without any other ideas, I inched my hand forward and turned the faucet handle slowly, a weak but steady stream making a gentle splash in the sink.
The moment the water started running, the cat leaned forward into the sink, lapping at the running water. The riddle had been solved.
Something about watching this cat was fascinating to me. It just kept drinking and drinking, almost as if it hadn’t drank anything in days. Reaching my hands out to it, I gently stroked the back of its neck. To my surprise, it didn’t seem fazed by my touch. It just kept drinking as if I weren’t even there.
Finally, after several minutes, Opal had her fill. Turning the faucet back off, I noticed the cat hadn’t jumped off the counter yet. Rather, it started rubbing its face against my hand before I could pull it away from the faucet handle. I was still for a moment, thinking now would be the time it would swat or bite my hand. But no, she just kept rubbing her face against it.
Then I remembered Fluttershy’s advice from when we worked at the shelter. If you’re going to pet a cat, do it gently, stroke in a single direction, and let it show you where it wants to be stroked. Slowly, I ran my fingers from her cheek to her neck, shocked to see it not only appreciated the gesture, but that it was leaning into it as well.
I kept my hand in the same position while the cat walked all around it. Opal would get into one position, and I’d gently run my fingers along her fluff, and she’d continue happily purring away as I did so. If I were to stop petting her, she would headbutt my palm as if to tell me she would decide when it was time for me to stop. A smile spread across my face as we continued this pattern for several minutes. I just couldn’t stop myself. She was so soft and sweet. It was hard to believe this was the same cat who’d given me such a nasty welcome when I arrived.
“I told you she was sweet.” Fluttershy was standing outside the bathroom door. “You just have to let her show you how she wants to be handled.”
“I guess you’re right,” I admitted as I continued to gently stroke Opal’s head. “Really could have done without the scratching and hissing, though.”
Fluttershy giggled as she took a few steps into the bathroom, reaching her hand out to the cat as well. “Don’t be too upset with her. She didn’t mean it, she's just frightened by new people.”
Opal stepped away from my hand, choosing to rub her face all over the one she was undoubtedly more familiar with.
“Don't worry, I wouldn't hold a grudge over something like that. She’s just a cat." I gently ran my hand down the length of Opal's back. "Besides, my hand will heal eventually and I’ll get over it. We just got off to a bad start, that’s all.”
Fluttershy slowly turned to face me, a knowing smile spread across her face. Confused as to why she was looking at me like that, my eyes darted to the side momentarily before they met hers again. “…What?”
She giggled. “Oh, nothing.”
Part of me knew it wasn’t ‘nothing’, but I didn’t feel like prodding her over it. Instead, I just shrugged, letting the thought slip from my mind.
Opal hopped down from the bathroom counter and made her way into the hallway, off to do whatever it is cats do when no one’s looking. Fluttershy and I stepped out of the bathroom, and that's when it dawned on me that she was here for a reason. Unsure of how to move this forward, I just stood around awkwardly with her, foolishly hoping it had nothing to do with what happened with Rainbow Dash. The last thing I wanted was for her to worry about me and Dash butting heads less than an hour after I’d arrived.
Just when I was about to suggest we head back to Rarity’s room, she spoke up again. “Umm… I just wanted to make sure you’re okay after what happened with Dash. I’m sorry that she did that.”
Damn it. Of course, I knew that was probably why she was here, but I was really hoping she wouldn’t find out. I knew that, if she did, she'd feel the need to play babysitter and mediate for us like we were a couple of children. Not only was that aggravating, but Fluttershy was doing the same thing Applejack had done for Dash, which was all the more irritating.
“You really shouldn’t apologize on her behalf,” I replied. “Besides, she already apologized. She was just being a sore loser – or winner, I guess – it was nothing personal.” Those words felt disgustingly bitter leaving my mouth. I still wasn’t convinced her actions weren’t actually personal, but I was willing to ostensibly let it go – both for Fluttershy’s sake, and so we could avoid talking about this any more than we had to. Unfortunately, she looked as convinced by those words as I was.
“Well, for what it’s worth, if you were upset with her, I wouldn’t blame you,” she added. "She should know better than to do something like that."
Fluttershy's additional validation alleviated some of my frustration. With that, I figured I might as well come clean.
“Fine, yeah, I’ll be honest,” I began. “I almost lost my cool when she did that, so that’s why I’m here. But I’ll be fine, really, I promise."
As silence fell between us again, I felt like that was all that needed to be said. The best course of action would be to drop it and move on. Yet, as much as I knew that, something inside of me really didn’t want me to leave it at that. Besides, it was just me and her out in the hallway. As long as I kept my volume down, no one else would hear what I was about to say. And maybe if I opened up to her, she might be less afraid of me.
For the first time in a while, instead of hiding my feelings, I decided to let them out.
"I just don’t get why everyone keeps apologizing for her.”
She frowned. “Would you rather hear her apologize for it?”
“I mean, sure, I guess,” I answered, “but an apology isn’t really what I’m after.”
Fluttershy didn't respond with words, instead raising a curious eyebrow. Assuming she was waiting for me to explain, I continued.
“There’d be no need for an apology if she just wouldn’t do shit like that. Like, the other day, Rarity told me she didn’t like how Dash has been treating me – I guess because she wanted to make me feel better after everything happened – but that just made me feel resentful. And I felt the same way when Applejack apologized for Rainbow Dash. And, no offense, I felt the same way when you did, too.”
Looking over at Fluttershy, I expected her to look uncomfortable after that. Instead, she held her attentive gaze toward me, prompting me to continue.
“Is it just always going to be ‘sorry she treats you that way,’ and never ‘hey, Dash, maybe don’t be such a bitch to Sunset?’ Because I don’t know how I’m supposed to take that. Like, yeah, apologies are nice and all, but what good are they if nothing changes? Am I just expected to let Rainbow Dash be a jerk because she’s just ‘like that’ with everyone?”
Once again, I looked over at Fluttershy. This time, she looked uncomfortable. A pit of anxiety began to form in my stomach as I took in her expression. Something I said must have gone a tad too far because I was pretty sure I’d upset her as well. Maybe I should have stuck to my original plan of saying I was fine.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be talking about her like that,” I apologized with a sigh.
“No, don’t be. I just wish I had a better answer, or any at all, really.” Fluttershy looked around the room, holding her arms against her chest. “If it means anything, I kind of understand how you feel.” Expecting just another apology and not much else, her reply caught me off guard.
“Really?” I replied, the surprise in my voice making me feel and sound stupid.
She slightly nodded, looking away as she drew in a deep breath. “When I was a kid, making friends with anyone else was always difficult because I was always just so nervous about everything, so I just kept to myself. That made it hard to really connect with anyone. But then I met Dashie. She'd always stick up for me when other kids would pick on me, and she's never minded how quiet I am. So I became like her shadow. I’d follow her around everywhere, listen to anything and everything she had to say, and for a long time, everything was always about her.
“But we’re not kids anymore, and I don’t want to be her shadow anymore. I don’t want her to see me that way, either. It’s taken me a long time, but I’m starting to figure out what it means to be me, if that makes sense. Now that I’m starting to understand myself, I’ve wanted to share that with her, but it feels like she never wants to give me the chance.”
My brow furrowed as Fluttershy spoke. It was hard to believe she was letting it all flow so candidly – especially to me of all people – but it also seemed like she’d been holding onto this for a while now.
Leaning against a nearby wall, I let my back drag against it as I slowly sat on the floor and crossed my legs. Fluttershy did the same in the spot next to me before she continued her explanation. The bitterness in her tone was becoming more apparent as she went on.
“I didn’t really want to join the band, but I did because she wanted me to. But if I ask her to do something like that with me, she never wants to.”
Alarms were going off in my head. Was she saying all this, expecting me to be able to give her advice at the end? If so, she was looking to the absolute worst person for an answer to something like this. I hardly had a grasp on what it was like to have friends at all, and yet here she was telling me about her friendship problem. And it wasn’t just any friend, either; it was with someone she’d been friends with for years. What could I possibly say to help her?
Looking at me, Fluttershy knit her brow. “G-Gosh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make this all about me.”
“No, it’s okay. You listened to me bitch for a bit, so it’s only fair.”
Her expression relaxed, though she still looked uneasy. Looking up at the ceiling momentarily, I tried to think of how to push things forward. Eventually, my brain cobbled together a response in the form of a question. “Does she at least give you a reason why she never wants to do anything you want to do?”
Fluttershy shrugged, her gaze momentarily fixed on her lap. “Sometimes, but not usually.” She looked up, her eyes meeting mine. “You remember when I asked you if you wanted to come work at the shelter with me a little while ago?”
“Yeah?”
“Working there is one of my favorite things to do, and ever since I started doing it, I’ve wanted Dash to come with me, at least once. She’s my best friend – I love doing just about anything with her – and I think we’d have a lot of fun working together. Plus, she usually gives me rides there, so it’s not like she’d have to go out of her way to be there. But any time I ask, it’s always ‘maybe next time,’ and then next time never comes.”
My mind flashed back to when we were standing in the parking lot together. I felt so stupid for accepting her offer considering the precarious position it put me in, but, to this day, I’ve still never seen her so giddy about something. Maybe that was the reason for her reaction. She got so little attention from her best friend that even her former bully doing something with her got her that excited.
“Sometimes, I just feel like she’s only ever kept me around because I'm like a shadow to her. But when I want to do my own thing, it’s like she doesn’t care. Like we’re only friends for her sake. And it’s not just stuff I want to do, either.
“Last weekend, I decided to write a song for the band, thinking I could at least contribute something. When I gave it to her at school the next day, she said she’d go over it and tell me what she thought. That was last week, and every time I’ve asked since, she just says she’ll get to it eventually.” Fluttershy looked down at the floor and sighed. “I was hoping that maybe we’d be able to play it in time for the band showcase coming up soon, but at this rate, she probably won’t even look at it until after that’s over.”
Fluttershy’s voice trailed off as she looked back down at her lap. Once again, anxiety began to swell within me. I needed to say or do something to help her, but I didn’t have the first clue as to what I should say. If this were a game, there were no winning moves I could see.
On one hand, I felt like she should go right up to Rainbow Dash, assert that she’s her own person and not just Dash’s personal shadow, and ask for the respect that she deserved. That seemed reasonable enough.
On the other hand, was it really my place to suggest something so confrontational? Fluttershy was conflict-averse, and unlikely to go through with a suggestion like that. At the same time, if she did go through with it, what if Dash found out it was by my suggestion? Would she accuse me yet again of trying to drive the two apart?
Then again, what did I have to worry about if she did? Even if it were my plan to cause a rift between them – which it wasn’t – it was evident that Dash was doing an excellent job of that already. Dash had said it herself: she treated me the way she did because she was so fiercely defensive of her best friend, but what could I do that she wasn't already doing on her own?
Perhaps I could have affirmed Fluttershy’s notions that Rainbow Dash didn’t care for her so much as she cared for what she could get out of her, furthering the growing split between them. After everything she'd done to me and how she was treating Fluttershy, I felt somewhat within my right to do so. Yet, for some reason, I found myself unable to. Something about that didn’t feel right, and trying to force that kind of response out of myself proved impossible. After a few moments of mental scrambling, I pushed myself to respond with anything at all, and not even I could have predicted my own response.
“Maybe she just doesn’t realize what she’s doing?”
Fluttershy curiously tilted her head.
“I mean… what if she just doesn’t realize she’s pushing you away?” I asked. “You two have been friends for a long time, and you said it yourself: things have been a certain way between you two for a long time. So, maybe she’s just so used to the way things have been, and because of that, she doesn’t notice that you’ve changed? Considering how oblivious she can be, I wouldn’t put that past her.”
As Fluttershy stared at the wall, she rested her head against her palm. My stomach twisted into another knot as she did. I was talking out of my ass, and she must have known that. More than likely, she was trying to think of the easiest way to let me down. When her eyes met mine again, her response almost startled me. “I guess that makes sense…”
“It does?” I impulsively replied. As Fluttershy shot me a confused look, I scrambled for a recovery. “I mean… I wasn’t sure if it did because I’m so tired from work and all. Sorry about that.”
My delivery was as smooth as sandpaper, and Fluttershy didn’t quite look like she bought my excuse. Mercifully, she didn’t comment on it. Instead, she asked another question; perhaps the most terrifying question she – or anyone at all for that matter – could have ever asked me.
“What do you think I should do?”
My brain began firing on all cylinders, but my mind could only sputter forward. Why was she asking me this? Why did she think I had any answers to a problem like this? I’d never even had a real friend – let alone a best one!
Still, as I looked in her eyes, I could tell she was hurting. I couldn’t just shrug and tell her I didn’t know anything, even if that was the truth. Sure, maybe my answer wouldn’t be any good, but could I really be held accountable for that if it wasn’t? After all, she was the one asking me despite our complicated history. She had to know what she was getting herself into, right?
“Try to meet her in the middle, I guess?” I tried to deliver my answer with some semblance of confidence, but the uncertainty in my tone betrayed me.
Fluttershy knit her brow. “What do you mean by that?”
“Well…” I paused, biting my thumb as the wheels in my head spun. “It seems to me like you do a lot of giving, and don’t get a lot in return. You’re there for her, you do what she wants whenever she wants, but she doesn’t do that for you. So, why not give what you’re given? If she wants you to be there all the time, tell her she has to be there for you just as much or you won’t be.”
Pensively gripping her chin, Fluttershy looked down at the floor. The hallway was quiet for a long minute while she considered my advice. Part of what made it feel like it was taking so long was that I genuinely had no clue if my advice was any good, or if it even made sense.
“But I like doing stuff with her,” she finally responded. “Even if she’s being a little selfish, it’s not like I don’t want to spend time with her.”
I shook my head. “I’m not saying you should cut her off immediately or anything like that,” I contended. “Talk with her first and tell her how it is. Maybe try to bring it up with her in a way that lets her know you’re not mad at her, and that you don’t think the way she’s acting is intentional. Like I said, I don’t think she’s doing that on purpose, and if I’m right, then everything should go smoothly. Once you're both on the same page, things should just get better from there, right?”
Once again, Fluttershy was silent as she considered my admittedly baseless advice. This time, it didn’t take her as long to respond, but what she responded with took me by surprise yet again.
A smile adorned her face as our gazes met. “You’ve really changed a lot, you know?”
As much as I wanted to hide my shock, I couldn’t help but cock my head back as her words registered in my head. “I have?”
Her smile widened as she blinked, giggled and nodded. “Even after everything you two have been through, you’re trying to see things from her perspective instead of just assuming the worst. That’s very kind of you.”
My mouth went through every syllable it could as I tried to stammer out a reply. Try as I might, nothing quite sounded right. I’d always loved receiving compliments, but this wasn’t any compliment I'd ever heard before. This wasn’t about my looks, my smarts, or my skills like I might have been used to at one point. It was for being kind. If I had ever received praise like this before, I certainly couldn’t remember it.
“W-Well, I, uhh… th-thanks, I guess. I just…” Those were the only words I could manage to find, and as my voice trailed off, I felt as dumb as I sounded. Still, I couldn’t help but smile while my cheeks burned. Fluttershy did the same, and I could have sworn she was blushing too, but I didn’t look at her long enough to be sure. Why would she be, anyway?
The silence between us was unceremoniously broken by the sound of the front door opening downstairs.
“PIZZA’S HEEEEEEERE!” Pinkie screeched from in the kitchen downstairs, her voice loud enough that I’m pretty sure everyone in Rarity’s neighborhood could hear her.
“Pinkamena Diane Pie!” Rarity shouted back at her. “Was it necessary for you to scream directly into my ear?!”
“SORRYYYYYYY!” Pinkie yelled again, belting out her apology at nearly the same volume as before. What sounded like an exasperated sigh came from Rarity as the two began talking at a volume too low to be intelligible. Fluttershy and I looked at one another and shared a giggle over all the commotion.
Things were quiet for all of a split second, until Rainbow Dash burst out of Rarity’s room, swinging the door wide open. She bolted through the hall, not bothering to acknowledge either of us as she flew down the stairs. Applejack emerged from the doorway at a much more leisurely pace soon after.
“You better not take half the breadsticks this time!” AJ shouted as she casually made her way to the kitchen. Unlike Dash, she stopped when she noticed me and Fluttershy were standing next to one another in the hallway.
“Everything good, y’all?” The question was ostensibly aimed at both of us, but from the look she gave me, I could tell she was asking mostly for my sake.
“All good,” I responded. This time, I actually meant it, and I couldn’t help but smile because of that.
Applejack smiled back. “That’s good to hear. Now hurry up, y’all. I dunno how long Pinkie and Rarity can hold Dash back from eatin’ everythin' herself.”
Fluttershy giggled, and I gave a weak chuckle in response. Applejack made her way down the stairs, and Fluttershy soon followed her, turning back to me when she noticed that I hadn't moved at all.
“Aren’t you coming?” she asked.
“I’ll be down in a sec. I just have to… grab something from my bag.” I lied.
“Oh,” she replied. “I’ll see you downstairs, then.”
As Fluttershy disappeared into the kitchen, I stood by myself in contemplation. In reality, I didn’t need to grab anything. I just wanted another moment to myself; thankfully for a much more positive reason this time.
It may have been brief, but that conversation with Fluttershy made me feel less alone. It was nice to have someone who not only sympathized, but empathized with me. I couldn’t remember the last time I felt that kind of connection with someone. In fact, it may not be wrong to say I’d never connected with anyone like that.
Maybe I was wrong all along. Maybe Fluttershy wasn’t afraid of me anymore. If she were, I don’t think she would have opened up to me so easily. More than that, I don’t think she would have told me I’d changed; something I still couldn’t believe I’d heard only moments prior.
Regardless, my expectations for the night were much more optimistic after that. Perhaps the squabble between me and Rainbow Dash was a fluke. We began with a rough start, but that just meant things were more than likely only going to get better from there, right?
Whatever the case, I wouldn’t find out by standing in the middle of the hallway by myself. There was still plenty of night to go, and hopefully, it would all go smoothly from here.
At least until it was time to sleep. But I’d cross that rickety bridge when I came to it.
Fun fact: Opal's behavior in this chapter is heavily based on my own real life cat who is also very abrasive to strangers unless they give her faucet water.
Sorry for the wait! When I first started writing this act finale, the goal was to make it short and sweet. As you can tell, of those two descriptors, "short" does not apply here. Hopefully you agree that sweet does, at least. Early on, I realized this chapter was going to grow too massive to be a single one. The first draft I had stretched past 15k words, and I try to keep a soft limit of 10k on my chapters, so that's why it's split in two.
This is the first part of chapter eight. Part two will be happening soon. I was going to release these two close-ish together, but due to some extenuating circumstances, I decided it would be better to put this out now. Part 2 is in the works, and might be a little bit, but hopefully not as long as this was (both in how long it took to come out, and how long the chapter is in general).
And just for added clarity, this is the first part of the act finale, not the story finale. Much like this chapter, this story has an entire other half to it. Things are really going to start picking up in that half.
Hope you're ready. 
As always, thank you to NudistSquid and EileenSaysHi for their hard work with editing and workshopping with me.
And thank you for reading! 
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Perhaps my shippers goggles are on too tight but do I detect the faintest hint of Flutterset?
Great chapter though.
11517687
You'll see! The second act will illuminate everything.
So good. This entire chapter is so insanely good.
Brace yourself for a long, but very positive, comment.
1. The first thing I wanted to say was how much I love your narration. Your voice, your prose, your style. It’s all so fluid and well-paced. Your descriptions are vivid, your scenes are engaging and your grammar is flawless. I can feel Sunset’s roller-coaster of emotions from across the screen. That opening, with Sunset stewing over her thoughts and current situation, is one of the best first-person dramatic openings I have ever read. Allow me to highlights a few lines I absolutely adored.
The way you manage to say simple things in such an elegant way is impressive. Instead of saying, “Pinkie stood before me,” you said, “In the doorway before me was Pinkie.” Some might say it’s wordy, but if flows so nicely with the rest of the paragraph that it works.
2. This chapter had some really funny moments. Several times, I laughed out loud and one point, I had to stop reading because I was laughing so hard.
3. Sunset and Opal - the relationship I never knew I needed. How did you make a human bonding with a cat in a bathroom look so adorable? The way the narration switches from ‘it’ to ‘her’, and then ‘the cat’ to ‘Opal’ is so sweet. The parallel was really good, too. “I wouldn’t hold a grudge over something like that. We just got off to a bad start, that’s all.”
4. That Sunset-Fluttershy conversation at the end was oozing with sadness and sweetness at the same time. I love the way we’re leading up to Rainbow Rocks (that is what you’re doing, right?) with Flutters’ problems and Sunset’s hesitance to give advice, because she doesn’t feel like its her place. And hell yes, Sunset! Character growth!
5. I love this little call-forward to Rainbow Rocks:
6. I love the way you wrote this Sunset moment:
That’s pretty much all I had to say. This chapter’s my favorite one so far, and I can’t wait to see what awaits us.
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My day has barely even started and you've made it with this comment. Thank you so much!
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You’re welcome.
Is that symbolism I see?
Or is that's just me?
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No turning back now.
Tmi Pinkie, tmi.
and I already wanted to go home.*
And Dash shouldn't do bets she can't win.
https://m.Now that I found out how to play the game,*
I could be proud of that.*
Your still guilty Dash.
Oh my!
Poor Fluttershy.
plenty of the night to go,*
Hm! Not sure I buy Rarity's suggestion that RD is just being extremely tsundere for Sunset. That would make for an interesting situation, though, if that is indeed Sunset x Fluttershy tension I detect.
Reading this before Can You See What I See. I know this story stands on its own, but makes me wonder what I might be missing considering I didn't read the original. If the next chapter takes too long, I might have to go on and read ahead lol
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The next chapter is about a third of the way done, and if I had to hazard a guess, it's looking like a week or two more before it's finished. That said, we're only at the halfway point, so it's going to be a bit before the whole story is finished as is. If you want my personal recommendation, I'd say go ahead and read forward. I think knowing the events of the future may only bring more questions than answers and may add to the intrigue. That said, I'm the author, so I'm a little biased.
Regardless, thank your for reading so far and for your comment!
Hmmm, it looks to me like Fluttershy is noticing some parallels in this situation, huh?
Also it was pretty to easy to see how much Opal was based off THAT lil kitty. Now im probably gonna start associating Opal with her just like I associate Sunset n Fluttershy n Pinkie with you lol.
Sunset sure gave some good advice to Flutters in a pinch, perhaps me or someone else has stated before, but maybe THAT is what gave her the ability to do so? Like, sometimes it takes being in an (at least slightly) desperate situation to bring out her true strengths in problem-solving? That's what it looks like to me, and that seems to be a convenient trait to have (and i think i have that sometimes too!) Hope it continues to come in handy for her!!