Chapter 27: A Brawl of Ice and Fire.
Chapter 27: A Brawl of Ice and Fire.
The man steps, then lurches forward, thrusting his sword at Celestia in a burst of speed I don't think I would be able to match even with the Time Materia. There's a flash of light, and the sound of metal scraping against glass as a golden, curved wall appears between Celestia and her assailant, his blade sliding harmless off it, not even leaving a scrape.
"Appearing before me and threatening my ponies was a mistake, creature!" Celestia declares, and I hear the cracking of rocks behind us, before a large crystal soars over our head and directly at the man, held inside a golden hue.
He, however, uses his speed to sidestep the projectile and kick into the air, his body slithering away like a shadow between the crystal spires. My eyes can barely follow his form as it bounds and moves, seeming to fly more than jump between different crystals as he prepares his next attack.
"He's really fast!" Twilight exclaims, her and Trixie's frantic head-turning making it clear they'd both lost track of him.
"Twilight, behind!" I warn, turning on my heels as I again hear the sound of metal against glass, Twilight's lavender barrier up just in time to block another strike.
I prepare to leap and make a counter-attack, but the Alicorn Princess behind me is faster, delivering a full-body tackle to him and digging her hooves into his shoulders, pressing him into the ground with a sickening crunch. He shifts, like a pitch-dark snake, and somehow slips out from under her, darting around a corner and out of sight, Celestia following suit with near-equal speed after a flap of her wings.
"Princess Celestia!" Twilight calls out, breaking out into a gallop to try and follow the Princess.
"Wait, Twilight!" I dash to follow her. "We need to stay together!" Behind me I hear the telltale hooffalls that indicate Trixie is following, but I still can't help but make a glance back to be sure first.
"Dusk! Who is that?!" Trixie asks in a panic as she gallops just behind me. "They knew who you were!"
"I still can't remember..." I mutter more to myself than to answer Trixie.
"Hey, answer Tr- Twilight! Wait!" Trixie calls out, making me turn back ahead to see Twilight looking down a split cave path, with no visible marks indicating which path the Princess and the man took.
"Trixie! Cloud! We need to figure out which way they went and go help the Princess!" Twilight examines the pathways again while talking, still unable to sniff out their trail.
"Twilight, we need to stay together." I say again once the three of us have grouped at the crossroad. "They're both far too fast for us to keep up, but that guy..." I take a moment, trying to think of the best way to say what comes next as I grip my sword, the three of us putting our backs together. "That guy... he's definitely someone from my past. Somehow, he's able to interfere with my dreams. And from what I do know about him, I'm sure he'll go for the two of you before myself or Celestia."
"But Trixie never did anything to that weirdo!" Trixie argues, her voice trembling slightly. We pick a path and begin rushing down it as a group, myself trailing at the back should he attempt another ambush on us.
"Trixie, this guy... he doesn't just kill people who get in his way. He treats it like a game. He wants to see them squirm. Messes with their heads." We turn and keep running, finally finding a path with a clue - crystals uprooted, and walls suffering impact damage, though its impossible to discern from what. "He'd kill you and Twilight just to see the reactions he'd get from us."
They both shudder. "That's sick." Twilight comments after a moment as we continue down the path, finally reaching an open area.
We look up to find the ceiling high and open, the crystals framing the area like the walls of a labyrinth. The center contains a rail and mine cart, and as we approach we see the rail descends down a slope and around a blind corner. "This isn't good..." I mutter, gripping my sword as we enter the open space. "The ceiling's open to the main cave and these crystals are ferrying us along like rats."
We move forward to the center, approaching the cart in a tight group. "Trixie is beginning to think that life-or-death situations are almost a daily occurrence with you, Dusk." Trixie comments, having taken the lead position of the group and trying in vain to find a viable angle to peer around the corner at the bottom of the cart's slope, though something about her is definitely... off.
"You get used to it." I reply, taking interest in the cart, myself. If Twilight or Trixie use their magic to propel it, it would probably allow us to cover ground faster than walking on foot. The cart, however, is tiny. If we all even fit inside, things would get more than a little uncomfortable. There's also the fact it looks at least a century old - who knows if it'll even hold together?
"Trixie, look out!" Twilight yells and I again hear metal against glass as I turn around, to find Trixie barely guarded by one of Twilight's shields, wide-eyed as she stares directly into the man's face. He must have come from above, as I feared. He scrapes his sword slowly along the shield, clearly enjoying Trixie's trembling reaction as the magical wall slowly fractures.
My feet move before my brain and I charge him, shoulder-ramming into the crystals near Trixie's side and pinning him. Before I can follow up, however, he uses the crystal as leverage to push me away from him and delivers a swift kick to my gut, enough to send me unceremoniously sprawling onto my ass. I pull myself up to my knees just in time to see him charging, his sword coming down with a one handed, vertical slash. I hold the flat my own sword up to block, bracing the tip with my left palm while keeping a tight grip on the handle with my right hand. The impact makes me wince, my legs nearly buckling despite me already being on my knees. How can one person be this strong...?
The crystals around us start glowing a bright lavender shade as I peek across my shoulder, seeing Twilight brimming with energy, her eyes a pure, blinding white. "There's no way I'll let someone like you hurt my friends!" The ground below also begins to shine white as the weight pressing against my sword lifts. The man is encased in the familiar glow of Twilight's magic and flung back at a speed my eyes can barely follow, up into the ceiling of the cave with a resounding crash, rocks uprooting themselves from the floor below us and following his flight path, crashing into his landing spot, followed by the mine cart. The air around us cracks a few times with twinges of lavender lightning as the glow subsides, Twilight's eyes returning to normal.
I pull myself to my feet and lean my back against one of the crystals, facing the girls. I take a few gasps to catch my breath as Trixie looks at Twilight, awestruck. "Sparkle, that was..."
"Here you are!" Celestia's voice cuts off Trixie's trailing sentiments as she lands in the small area with us. "I was quite worried what may have happened once I had lost track of that creature."
"Princess!" Twilight lights up at the sight of her mentor. "Are you hurt? We've been trying to find you!"
"I'm quite fine, my Student." Celestia replies with a nod. "It couldn't harm me. That creature just proved too swift and elusive for me to keep track of inside these caves." Celestia turns up to where Twilight's attack sent the man and my eyes follow hers, only to see the man hurdling towards us like a black shadow. "Look out!" Celestia calls out as her horn glows, forming a golden shield to repel him and taking to the skies with another strong flap of her wings. "It's not getting away this time! Stay back, everyone!" Celestia quickly takes to the air, chasing after the man's silhouette as he darts between the crystals once more.
"Princess! Wait!" Twilight calls after her, her horn glowing and the pop of a teleport sounding as she disappears from her spot near us and reappears on top of the crystals, her tail disappearing from view as she runs after Celestia.
"Twilight, wait!" I call after her, but it's useless. She's already gone, the only reply I receive being the pop of a second teleport as she attempts to further close the distance with the Princess. "We can't..."
Dammit... I look back over my shoulder to Trixie and tighten my grip on my sword in my right hand. He targeted her, just like the cloaked creatures had before... but if he's this strong, can I protect her by myself when he attacks again?
"Dusk... are you alright?" Trixie asks, walking up beisde me.
"I'm fine." I reply, shaking my head and crouching down. "Get on. I'll take us over the crystals so we can get somewhere less claustrophobic."
"Trixie thought you said no more carrying?" Trixie's tone is shaking still, though she's clearly trying to push her normal, egotistical self out to the forefront so it isn't noticed.
"Special exception." I respond as she quickly hops onto my back, wrapping her forelegs around my neck and hind legs around my torso. I kick off the ground, making some use of the Time Materia's Haste to make it to the top of one of the smaller crystals, and after getting some decent footing I begin scanning around the cave. It doesn't take long to spot the indicative flashes of gold and lavender that show Twilight and Celestia's position - and the man's. My eyes scan downard, looking closer to the base of the crystal for an immediate path we can use.
"Dusk, look there!" Trixie points with one hoof, directing my attention to a path of cave floor weaving between small outcroppings of crystals, leading roughly in the direction of the magical flare-ups. "You... you're looking for a path to help them, right?"
"We can't let Twilight and Celestia do all the work now, can we?" I jump the small distance down from the crystal to the cave floor and begin traveling the path Trixie pointed out. With her on my back, I'm able to push myself and keep up the effects of Haste, crossing the distance at about twice my usual speed. I weave between the crystals jutting from the large chamber, making progress toward the last places we saw the magic flashes as well as try to avoid us becoming walled in by crystals again. As we get closer, we hear the crash of a crystal slamming into the ground.
"Come out, creature!" Celestia's voice booms from ahead of us, loud to the point I can only assume she's amplifying it with magic. "One wouldn't think a self-proclaimed destroyer of worlds would exhibit such cowardice!" Is she really strong enough to even make an opponent like this flee by herself?
I don't have time to consider that line of thought any further as I register a black form moving to my left. I turn, but even with Haste, my reaction speed isn't enough, and the metal plate on his shoulder is ramming me directly, killing my momentum and sending me toppling in the opposite direction. I feel Trixie's hooves come free with a yelp as she tumbles off my back, and hear the thud of her body hitting the rock floor before mine does the same, fortunately at least not landing on top of her.
"Looks like the end of the line for you, 'Cloud'." I hear him taunt as I scramble back to my feet, my sword thankfully still in my grip this time. "I think I'll start by stopping you from running around anymore. All this moving around is pretty inconvenient, don't you think?"
I narrow my eyes and brace my sword in front of myself in a fighting stance. I'm done giving this guy the reaction he wants. It doesn't take him long to realize this himself and in a blink, he's charging with a sweeping left-right horizontal slash of his monstrously long blade. I catch the attack with the blade of my own sword, gripping the handle with everything I have to stop it from being flung from my grip. He braces the back of his blade with his left hand once the full arc of his swing is denied, and begins pressing me back. I dig my feet in, but it's not enough, and I begin to lose ground. First one step, and then a second, and then a third, and then one more... slowly but surely being pushed until my back presses against a wall or a crystal - in this situation, it didn't matter which.
My muscles burn as my sword is forced ever closer to me by the man's advance. If I don't do something soon, I'll be on the wrong end of the world's most bloody 'stop hitting yourself' joke. Think, Cloud! Time isn't enough, he's too close for Barrier, or Fire, Lightning, Ice. If only I'd not been such a coward, I'd remember how the rest work... and maybe there'd be something... dammit! I take a glance over the man's shoulder to see Trixie, finally back on her hooves. Though, something's wrong... this isn't the Trixie that smashed the diamond dogs with a barrel in Appleloosa, or the Trixie that did her best against the chupacabras. Instead she's just watching, wide eyed, her body trembling.
"Trixie!" I yell out, my sword being forced closer as I run out of options and out of time. "Do something!"
She blinks and gasps, taking a step back. Even from where I'm standing, the tears in her bleary eyes are easy to see. "I can't!" She takes a second step back, trembling. "I can't do anything, Dusk!" She turns, galloping down the path we had been traveling. "Princess Celestia! Twilight! Over here, quickly!"
A small, sinister laugh pulls my eyes back to the man before I can even process what's just happened, and with a smirk, the man pulls his blade back from mine and turns, gliding more than running as he...
"Trixie!" I call out, desperately pushing the Time Materia for everything it can give. "Trixie, behind you!"
She turns around, and I can see the panic in her eyes as the man closes in on her, sword held in two hands and drawn back to one side, blade pointed at his target with the intent of skewering her through. I'm... I'm not going to be fast enough! I cast the Barrier Materia, trying to put a wall between them, but he's able to swat it away and shatter it without missing a step. Dammit!
"Trixie!" I can feel it in the pit of my stomach. If I can't stop him now... I need something, anything! Please!
In that moment, the man pulls back, his sword aimed. He thrusts forward, and... strikes a pillar of crystal that's risen from the ground to block his attack. The sudden event is enough to cause all three of us to stop in our tracks. What happened? I don't see Celestia or Twilight, nor their telltale magical glows anywhere. And the crystal itself looks strange, not like the other crystals around, instead more like... ice. I look around for a moment until I finally see it... on my sword - a single, Red Materia, glowing fiercely. With that glow, I can see the image of the small girl, Priscilla, at the beachfront town Junon, who nearly drowned after being attacked by a massive, fish-like monster. I can remember her giving me her precious red amulet after I cleared the water from her lungs. The red amulet turned out to be Materia - this Materia - a rare Materia that held more than just mere magic, but instead the spirit of a lost being, trapped inside. In this case, the spirit of a mighty ice goddess - Shiva!
The ice bursts open, revealing a blue-skinned woman with flowing, green hair, draped loosely in royal purple robes. Her feet hover slightly above the ground, and she eyes the man wordlessly, bringing one hand up in a balled fist in front of her face. She outstretches this arm toward the man and opens her fist, and at that moment, the shattered pieces of ice on the ground quiver and launch themselves at him, guided by an icy wind. He leaps back, again slipping behind one of the cave's crystals to avoid the attack as Shiva advances to give chase. My attention, however, isn't on either of them...
"Dusk!" Trixie barrels into my leg, gripping it tightly with her hooves. "Even after I ran away, you protected me... even though you nearly..." I look down to my sword again, the Shiva Materia still glowing brightly. I hadn't been the one to save her at all. That little girl, who probably remembers more about myself than I do, had been the one to do that when I couldn't...
"Cloud! Trixie!" Twilight yells out, causing us both to turn our heads skyward, to see Celestia descending toward us with the lavender unicorn on her back. "Are you both alright?" She asks, jumping down from Celestia's back as she lands.
Trixie shakes her head clear, strategically using my pantleg to wipe her face without being noticed. "We're doing quite fine, Sparkle." She says, using her practiced performance arts to quickly throw up her usual facade. "Trixie and her assistant just had a bit of a... close call."
"He's still nearby." I inform them. "Shiva is fighting him now, but..."
"Shiva?" Twilight asks, looking to my sword. "You got one of the red ones to work!"
"Yeah..." I reply, looking at the sword again.
"The way you said that... does that mean the red ones summon familiars or something?" It's not surprising that Twilight's fast mind can piece the parts together that quickly, I suppose.
As if on call, Shiva's form bursts out from the pillars, flying backwards into the sky as she casts her ice magic downward, the wind current visible due to flecks of snow as a layer of ice begins to cover the nearby crystals. "That answer your question?" I ask, trying to relieve a bit of the tension as we take the moment to recollect ourselves.
That attempt proves mostly useless, however, as the black form of the man jumps from the crystals not far behind Shiva. He charges straight through her ice attack, despite a similar layer of frost and ice building up on himself as well, and with a single thrust, plunges his sword through Shiva's stomach. The spirit's pained scream echos through the cave as the light of the Materia fades, and her body breaks apart into a familiar, green mist. He lands on one of the nearby crystals and turns to face us.
Before he can even begin whichever condescending question is on his lips, however, Celestia's wings flare once more and a stalactite rips itself from the cave's ceiling, sailing at him point-first at high speed, held in her golden glow. He sees the glow of her magic coming from her horn and dodges instictively, the stalactite changing course and continuing to home in on him until he cleaves it apart with his sword. This prompts Celestia to flap her wings and take to the air once more, as more stalactites free themselves from the ceiling under her grip. It's clear that if any thoughts of taking prisoner existed in her mind before, they're gone now.
He kicks off one of the crystals and lunges through the air at her, shifting his body and using his sword to dodge or destroy Celestia's incoming projectiles as he closes the distance. He grips his sword in both hands and attacks her with one his preferred sweeping slashes, though his weapon is met with one of her golden shields. Despite his full force seeming to be behind his attack, however, her shield remains pristine, and her body unmoved, as her eyes begin to glow. "Hopefully you will reflect the true depth of your folly in Tartarus, creature!" With a burst of magic, the man is pushed away, sent hurdling to the ground, a rain of stalactites following him.
"Whoa..." Trixie mouths in awe. "The Princess... she has to be on a whole other level than even you, Twilight."
"Even I've never seen her like this before..." Twilight replies, also in awe as she watches the Princess exert her true might on the one whose threatened her ponies.
It feels like the whole cave is turning up in temperature, the faded blue rock of the walls beginning to be cast in a golden color. Celestia's normally-white form begins to glow as if she's radiating her own sunlight. It's a display of power that's truely both beautiful and terrifying. There's a rumble through the cave, eminating from where Celestia had sent the man to the ground, and a large crystal hurls through the air, aimed directly for the Princess. As it reaches her though, it simply... shatters, into a seemingly-infinite number of crystal granules, adding a shimmer of particles around the Princess as each one reflects her sunlight.
"Begone!" Her horn glows, and the twinkle of each crystal granule intensifies until they match. In that moment, a beam fires from her horn, touching one of the granules, reflecting between each one. It takes me a moment to realize what's going on - the beam is quickly traveling between each piece of the crystal, amplifying itself, until each one is glowing a brilliant gold. And then, the magic bears fruit, each grain of crystal firing a beam of golden light down to the ground, each presumably aimed at the man. The cave rumbles and our ears are filled with the sounds of explosions as the different beams reach different targets - crystal, rock, and whatever else is unfortunate enough to be in the attack zone. Smoke and debris begins to fill the air as the attack refuses to relent, leaving my ears ringing and lungs choking from the aftermath of the endless blasts.
I use my hand to try and wave the smoke away as I cough, my eyes beginning to tear up from irritation. I'll have to remember to never get on her bad side. I wipe my eyes clean with one hand and finally look up, squinting them to try and scan our surroundings. After a moment of looking, my eyes lock onto a second pair, a second pair of the same sky-blue, wavy Mako-eyes, barely visible past the smoke. The sound of incoming movement reaches my ears before I can even draw the breath to speak. My stomach fills with an indescribable pain as his blade runs through it, and my body is pushed like a rag doll against a wall of the cave. The clang of my sword slipping from my hand and colliding with the floor barely registers with my ears, as does the voices of Twilight and Trixie.
"I'll have to remember to take your little friends more seriously." The man says, face close to mine. His face is covered in his blood and his breath is trembling. It seems at least some of Celestia's attacks connected and did considerable damage. "But this is as far as a half-hearted vessel like you gets to go."
I reach my hands up weakly to grasp his sword, clutching the blade, trying desperately to pull it out. With how deep it's in, it has to be embedded in the damn wall behind me. I close my eyes, trying to block out the pain and focus. As I clutch the sword, though, I remember... I was in this situation several years ago. Nibelheim... I fought this man in the Mako Reactor on top of Mount Nibel, a mountain that my hometown of Nibelheim was buit at the base of. We were stationed there as part of SOLDIER, Shin-Ra's military detatchment, to handle reports of unusual creatures crawling around the Reactor. He was a decorated hero of the previous war, with all kinds of myths surrounding his exploits. However, while stationed there, we often stayed in a mansion on the outskirts of town, owned by Shin-Ra and made use of by one of their scientists. In that mansion's basement, the man had found something that made him completely unhinged, and he burned the entire town to the ground, heading for the Reactor. He found what he was looking for there... the truth behind the strange monsters, and... I remember I fought him on one of the catwalks above the unprocessed Lifestream. He ran me through with his sword, much like this, but I... I knocked him off the catwalk, somehow, into the Lifestream below, and survived.
Other memories of the man begin pushing their way into my mind, memories of the quest I went on with people who'd grown to become my friends. A quest I went on long after the incident in Nibelheim, a quest to stop this man from destroying everything. The memories aren't everything, but they're substantial. However, I push them away for now, and redouble my grip on his sword as I realize he's right about one thing - I have become half-hearted, running away from things to protect my own insecurity. That's not very conducive to anything in a world where raw emotion can supposedly become power, is it? If I keep carrying on this way...
I open my eyes slowly, locking them with his. "You oversold yourself quite a bit today... Sephiroth."
"Has reopening this old wound helped your brain fit back together enough to remember my name?" He asks, giving me a smug, sinister smirk. "Do tell me how a piece of trash like you thinks I've oversold myself."
I glance behind him, the glow of the crystals hurting my eyes. It feels like every crystal in the cave is glowing the color of the sun, and the air is swelteringly hot. I reach a leg up, kicking him in the chest and pushing him away from me. "Because, the only person disappearing today, is you!"
His eyes go wide in realization for just a moment, but then he locks them with mine again... and smiles. I clamp my eyes shut and turn away, even the inside of my eyelids glowing like I'm staring directly at the sun as an attack strikes the man... strikes Sephiroth. There's a definite impact, but there's no scream of pain, no telltale sound of the evil being in front of me being wiped from existence. The sword run through my chest seems to simply... dissolve, and I slump back against the wall, allowing myself to descend into a sitting position. As the light finally subsides, I slowly open my eyes, blinking them as a weight impacts my right side.
"Dusk..." Trixie's voice trails off for a moment as I look to her, and see her vision leading to my chest. "Dusk... there's so much blood..."
I look down to my chest and it's... well, the poncho is definitely a write-off unless they naturally come in copper red. I reach a hand up to clutch at the wound, the pain of each breath intake making my head spin. I hear a wretching sound to my opposite side and turn my head to see Twilight, losing her lunch at the base of one of the crystals. As I scan my eyes away from her and to where my attacker had been, I see why. The... thing I lay eyes on, is definitely not Sephiroth. It's twisted, some of the flesh clearly not where it's meant to be, the body itself mangled beyond repair, and given a fresh coat of charcoal thanks to Princess Celestia. But, even with all that damage, the thing clearly lying dead at my feet... is a diamond dog. A distorted, wretched abomination of a thing that was very definitely at one point, a diamond dog.
At that realization, my brain reels, attempting to decipher what's going on as I lean my head back against the wall. I hear the sounds of Celestia's shoes landing against the rock as she slowly trots up to us. "Cloud... I apologize." I look to her, and she bows her head. "You did well in protecting my ponies, but in the recent eras of peace for Equestria, I've allowed myself to become dull and could not vanquish the threat in time. This isn't my first recent failure in this way, but... I'll be sure to make it the last."
"It's... fine, Princess." I raise my left hand to her, giving a thumbs-up as my voice cracked with a painful groan. "I've been thinking about making red my new color, anyway."
And then I blacked out.
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Damn Sephiroth clones, anyway. Probably one of the more frustrating twists in the game is finding out the guy's been toying with you from his spot at the Northern Crater and letting his toadies do all the work.
Nice action chapter! I always cheer when I see a Celestia who's not punked out by a single hit but can dish out the magic like nopony's business.
Wonder how this will affect Trixie down the line. I get the feeling reality is crashing down on her faster than she can deal with it.
The title not being "Praise the Sun"....
You have a lot of praising to do....
6724632
I've never understood the urge to make characters like Celestia and/or Luna weak. Even in a story looking to prop its protagonist up as the next best thing since sliced bread or the wheel, there needs to be something to put them in perspective.
Then again, I also just find stories about underdog characters more interesting, but I suppose that might be obvious based on how this story is written. Even Cloud/Dusk as of this Chapter could easily be argued to be less "powerful" than a number of non-Princess ponies, if you wanted to do some arbitrary measure of combat ability, and Trixie is, well... yeah...
6724643
Trust me, I was truly pained not doing it.
isn't the Trixie that smashed the Diamong Dogs
Has reopoening this old would helped your brain
1. Diamond.
2. Reopening, Wound.
Welp... Can't say this wasn't a ballad of ice and fire but close enough I guess. Probably the brightest spot in this chapter though.
6724677
One of the things I can say that most unicorns have over any other race is their levitating ability. At most the move is apparently near instantaneous and leaves little room to react to unless you can: 1) SEE the magic coming at you, and 2) REACT to it, mid-battle or otherwise. Other than that, I just don't think any of the ponies, save maybe Earth Ponies, can really match an otherworlder/outside intruder.
Cloud, with memories and his techniques, is a match for most of Equestria's threats, but I'm not sure how he matches up against things like Celestia/Tirek.
Mostly because we never truely know how powerful Celestia and Luna are in canon. They always, mostly Celestia weird, get defeated or manhandled some way or other and it puts a damper on how people would interpret the "goddesses" of the land.
6724790
It's actually a bit interesting you mentioned the last part of your comment.
Despite Crossing with a fairly dark / depressing series like Final Fantasy VII (which, to be fair, does have plenty of its own humor), I've tried to keep even the more serious or plot-heavy Chapters from getting mired in their own angst. Chapters like this one where the closest thing you get to levity at most points is the fairly dark humor from Sephiroth and a couple quips from Cloud become interesting exceptions for me to write, since I do actually need to change my usual writing inclinations for them.
6727625
I was talking about the trend of taking some of the strongest characters in the show and making weaker than a protagonist of a Crossover or an OC for seemingly no reason. The Princesses in particular do lose more than they win in the show, but the only truly surprising loss is Princess Celestia vs. Queen Chrysalis, which even the victor of that fight essentially replied with "Did I actually just win?". Most of the others (ie Tirek and Discord) can easily be considered "Gods" or "God Killers" in their own right, and them defeating the Princesses, and then in turn being defeated by Harmony, can simply fall into the concept that no matter how powerful you are, there's always someone stronger.
Portraying a character, especially one established in-canon as high-power, as strictly weak compared to an OC or Crossover subject without purpose or justification removes their ability to provide interesting dynamics to the conflict of the story, and it's something all too common to find. The Princesses have a particular habit of being portrayed in fan stories as weak in general, and while there are beings who exist that are stronger than them, it's often taken to a degree that borders on silliness. It just happens to more exhuberant degrees when it's something like a Crossover or Human in Equestria style of fiction.
Again, I can understand some stories want to seriously prop their main character up as a powerhouse, but if there's literally nobody stronger than them, with the aside of an antagonist, the story just becomes boring. Even Dragonball Z knows better than to do something like that.
WOOT! Celestia Limit Break!
Mako eyes are sky-blue, not green.
6840105
I realized that a few days after posting this Chapter initially, though I'd thought I had fixed it. I'm sure I've made that mistake more than once in the story because I have trouble discerning certain colors. (I end up looking them up on wikis to be sure I'm describing them correctly.) They make a big deal out of this in Crisis Core, specifically, so I "know" they're not green, but if I'm writing and don't look up a color I end up defaulting to what I "see"... which sometimes results in silly things like that.
I'll have a skim over all the Chapters tomorrow when I have a bit of time and be sure I'm referencing it correctly/consistently. Thank you!