• Published 8th Sep 2022
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On the Isle of Man-Eating Ponies - Destiny Chaser



A tribe of carnivorous ponies? A very edible human sent to investigate them? What could possibly go wrong?

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Pleased to Eat You

Hunter was having a good day.

He felt, incredible…alive.

Never before in his life had the stallion felt such power, such energy coursing through his limbs as he did right now. The world around him felt like it was made of cardboard, and he was an unstoppable meteor of destruction. He actually had to force himself to walk at a sedate pace and not leave the group behind in a blur of raw speed. Everything around him stood out in remarkable detail. The individual hairs on a fly as it buzzed past him in slow motion, its wings appearing slow and lethargic. The exact number of ants swarming around the ant hill off the side of the trail, the detail of every leaf on every tree. All of his worries and anger from the previous week were lost in a haze of euphoria and energy, while the whole of creation shone with a vibrant intensity unlike anything he had ever seen. All of his other senses were amplified as well; scent, hearing, even touch. He could hear the heartbeats of everypony around him beating like a chorus of drums, he could smell the freshly laid eggs of the bird in a nest high above him, and even feel through his hooves the pitter-patter of insects as they scurried beneath the detritus of the jungle floor...it was thrilling.

He had been surprised when the hooman had offered his own blood as a tribute, and did not know what to make of it at the time. But now, he couldn't be more grateful for the unique gesture. Hunter's kind had always gained strength from consuming fresh flesh and blood, but nothing he had experienced before before could compare to this. Whatever this creature was, it's blood was particularly...unbelievably potent. And delicious. The creature had such an enticing scent to begin with that it borderlined unsettling, and Hunter had to resist the powerful temptation to consume the remaining contents of the canteen.

No, it belongs to the Queen... he thought to himself. Yes, she would know what to do with this creature. He had only taken a sip, so he knew that this blood high would sadly only last an hour or two at most. What was most profound about the blood’s effects however, was the additional sense he seemed to have developed that made him aware of the power and energy coursing through the air around him, as if the weather itself was now a living entity; something until now he had always been blind to, but now could see clearly. He could feel the pressure of the atmosphere around him, the massing of individual air molecules like so many grains of sand, and even which clouds contained the immeasurable fury of a charge of lightning. The hooman himself stood out most of all in this new sense, like a blazing torch; its body feeling as if it contained an entire thunderstorm trapped beneath his skin.

The one thing that did concern him, however, was the incredibly heightened sense of aggression he was now feeling towards everypony, everything around him and the constant concentration it took to keep himself from leaping at the creature to rip out its throat in sheer bloodlust. To tear, to rend, to feel its bones break between his teeth and its hot blood coursing down his throat…

Hunter shook his head, No! Stay focused. I must get him to the Queen, she will decide the best course of action. Still, he could not help but feel a little giddy at the potential future possibilities, and the reward he would surely get for bringing this creature home.

Hunter was having a good day.


The journey through the jungle to the village had been uneventful enough, though Flash had kept his senses peeled for any hint of trickery that might lead them into an ambush. He knew that each member of his team would be doing the same, just as they had been trained to do, and was confident of their ability to immediately react immediately should the need arise. The comforting weight of his alicorn-forged spear, Shadowbane, strapped to his back in its condensed form beneath his heavy traveling cloak, also inspired confidence. Its peerless abilities combined with its power to enhance his own inherent magic gave him the surety that he could get his team out of even the bleakest situations.

As the dense jungle parted, Flash was able to finally get a glimpse of the natives' village. The huts themselves were constructed of shaped timber bound in twine and covered with thatched roofs with drawn curtains servings as doorways. They were arranged in clustered groups, with hardened paths of earth networking each of them to the others. The constructs appeared well made and solid, assembled with obvious skill and care. The surrounding jungle itself formed a kind of natural barrier of protection for the dwellings, with the trees seeming to form a sort of fence. Some of the trees even had observation platforms built into the higher branches where he could see more of the tribal ponies stationed as lookouts.

Flash could feel a sense of anticipation building in the air as more of the villagers gathered to watch the strange group of warriors clad in dark armor presently being escorted into the center of their home. They whispered to one another in their own language, casting glances that were a mix of curiosity, interest, and in more than a few, open hostility, with a few even emitting low, threatening growls that Flash had never associated with ponies, sounding more akin to lions than equines. Slightly more unsettling, were the ones who scented the air before locking their gaze on him, a hungry look in their eyes.

Just try not to think about it Flash, he thought to himself. Which was easier said than done when one realized that they were presently surrounded by a herd of veritable landsharks who gazed upon him with a longing comparable to that of a starved changeling at a Hearts and Hooves Day festival.

"He's very close, sir." Lumen Dawn whispered to Flash, breaking him from his growing paranoia. "He's likely somewhere here in the village." Flash gave an imperceptible nod,

"Don't do anything unless absolutely necessary, don't strike unless they do something first." Lumen smiled,

"Oh I'm not so worried, I'm beginning to think ourselves in a most secure bargaining posture. After all, it seems we have something they want," he smirked. Flash chose to bite his tongue for now.

Coming into the center of the village, they were greeted by a large raised platform with steps leading to the top. Spread over the front part of the stage, was a large arch adorned with the skulls of various creatures, with the majority of them appearing to belong to large predators, with the most prominent of them being that of a manticore of such enormity that Flash mused that when it was alive, was probably large enough to make him bite-sized, let alone one of these ponies. The primary fangs alone were longer than his hand. And there, sitting on a wooden throne under the center of the arch was a mare whose stature left no question in Flash’s mind as to who the leader might be. He found himself missing Slipstream’s obligatory sarcasm where he would no doubt say, I think this is the chief!

She was nearly as large as Celestia, with similar build: slender at the hips but with slightly more robust shoulders. Her glossy coat was of the deepest crimson, and her mane and tail a dark brown. She wore a headdress that looked to be the top portion of a panther’s skull, with two magnificent black and blue peacock feathers arcing off from either side like a pair of horns. Triangular marks of white war-paint colored either side of her face just below her yellow eyes like fangs, giving her fierce stature an even greater degree of intimidation; she did not seem pleased to see any of them.

Frowny climbed the short set of stairs, whispering something to his leader while showing her the canteen. After a brief exchange, she turned her attention back to Flash and his team, raising an imperious eyebrow. When she spoke, her husky voice was tinged with restrained anger, with just a modicum of interest in the unique creature that was the human before her.

“I am Chief Sanguina, Queen of Diomedia. Who are you? And why you dare trespass in our lands after your crimes against us?” Flash cleared his throat, trying to find his voice again after the silent trek through the jungle. He stepped forward and bowed respectfully, a hand across his breastplate,

“Your highness, my name is Captain Flash Skies, I come in peace on behalf of her Royal Highness Princess Celestia of Equestria. I thank you for permitting us in your lands and I seek an audience with you in order to come to an understanding of what occurred in the incident regarding an alleged attack by your ponies that resulted in grave injuries to one of our citizens.” Flash raised his head, waiting for her reply. Her eyes narrowed with barely contained fury,

“If you come in peace, why send spies against us?” She accused. Flash swallowed, trying not to sound nervous,

“We did no such thing your highness!” He replied, “Equestria sends no spies into your land-“ He began, only to be cut off when a group of the ponies stepped aside so that a hogtied and gagged Slipstream sans armor could be unceremoniously cast into their midst; an apple stuffed into his mouth. Slipstream looked up groggily and gave a sheepish grin around the produce in his muzzle. “-But…I did send a scout ahead to get a view of your lovely island.” Flash finished without missing a beat. Sanguina frowned, clearly not amused.

“One who talks too much was caught trespassing in our lands after he was attacked by wind-vipers, he make many rude comments about warrior Natarra’s flank.” She growled. Flash noticed a stunning silver mare with a snow-white mane glare down indignantly at Slipstream, a slight blush on her otherwise pale cheeks, and perhaps, a ghost of a smile?

Slipstream managed to spit the apple out, “Well...how could I not comment on such perfection?” He blurted with all the grace and forbearance of the town drunk after an all-night bender, “She really is-” Flash moved so quickly that he appeared to have teleported, cramming the apple back into his friend’s face.

“And I THANK your Highness for his safe return, I hope he hasn’t been too much trouble for you haha,” he remarked, attempting to sound lighthearted while glaring out of the corner of his eye at Slipstream,

“Not. Helping." He hissed between clenched teeth. As relieved as he was to see his friend alive, he couldn’t allow Slipstream’s infamous mouth to completely ruin what was already a precarious situation. Flash noticed that a rudimentary field dressing had been applied to the wound on the pegasus’ shoulder, the blood stained bandages having an odd scent. The pony appeared intoxicated for some reason, and he realized it was probably a result of being attacked by these ‘wind-vipers’ the queen mentioned.

Likely a couatl, he mused, beginning to remember reading once about the flying serpents which were also referred to as ‘wind-vipers’. A pair of spear-wielding ponies stepped forward, forcing Flash back in a clear message that Slipstream was not free to go. Flash restrained himself from glaring at them in response before turning his attention back to the queen,

"You speak of 'crimes' being committed against you and your ponies your highness?” He asked, allowing authority to seep back into his voice, “What were these crimes? Because according to ponies from our merchant guild, it was your ponies who attacked them, and they have the bite-marks to prove it," Flash risked saying after a cautious glance at some of the tribe ponies. The Queen's eyes narrowed dangerously as she rose to her hooves; Flash had to force himself to not take a step back.

"Attacked?" She snarled, "I see that treacherous mainlanders only know how to speak in lies."

Flash resisted the urge to sigh, Here we go...

"I'm not trying to deceive you, your highness. I'm only speaking of what I presently know. If you could be so kind as to-"

Flash felt his blood run cold as the pony was suddenly, inexplicably in his face, not a hand's breadth from him, her eyes boring into his, the hot exhalation from her nostrils on his skin.

...What...? Sanguina raised an eyebrow,

"'So kind as to,' what?" She finished for him. Flash felt his jaw go slack; a random 'Eep!' escaped from Rose Dust as he sensed his entire team stumble back a step in alarmed disbelief.

Flash found himself at a complete loss for words, it made no sense; he had neither seen nor even sensed her movement. One moment, she was up on the platform glaring down at him. He had only blinked, and suddenly she was in front of him without making a sound. The pony examined him, with the casual air of somepony who had simply discovered an interesting bug.

"What you wish me to say?" She deadpanned, "Speak up boy!"

Flash felt nailed to the spot, like he did as a tween at the junior academy the first time the drill sergeant had singled him out, unable to even string a sentence together in his mind. He might have felt utterly embarrassed at stuttering during such a critical moment if not for the overwhelming feeling of helpless terror currently drowning out every other sensation and coherent thought.

"Ah, ahem, I, I mean, yes, sorry ma'am. Could you, ah, please, tell us what happened?" He managed to stammer.

Flash remained as still as a statue as the pony slowly began to circle him, taking in his every detail with the practiced eye of a jeweler examining gems. Her movements were slow and fluid, like the smoothness of a shark as it effortlessly glided through a calm sea. She paused behind him and lifted the edge of his cloak to her muzzle, taking an inquisitive sniff before flicking it away. Flash shuddered as he suddenly felt the soft warmth of her potentially lethal muzzle by his ear,

"You wish to know truth?" She said in voice that was low, but carried with it the deadly threat of a volcano about to erupt, "Very well..."

In what Flash could tell was barely restrained rage, the Queen calmly launched into a methodical retelling of how it was actually the fishing merchants, who had in fact been harassing her ponies for months, driving them further away from their accustomed fishing areas that they relied on to feed themselves. The merchants had one day attacked her ponies after a verbal sparring, overturning one of their small canoes and even going as far as to steal their catches. When she then sent one of her trusted servants to speak to the captain of one of the merchant fleet’s ships, demanding that the ponies return the fish they had stolen and apologize, the captain treated her servant and his aides as savages and attacked them, her servant being mortally wounded in the resulting struggle.

In response to this outrageous atrocity, her righteously infuriated ponies had angrily attacked the captain and a few of his crew, mauling one of them terribly before being forced to retreat. Flash listened attentively to her entire account, while noticing with a growing apprehension that hadn't left him since the Queen's little display of power, the alarming levels of hostility and anger now being directed at him and his team. They were smack in the center of a hornets' nest, and it was time to leave before they got stung...and eaten.

Sanguina completed a last, slow circle of him, taking her time, with every step a calculated measure of her establishing her dominance over him. She paused in front of him taking a moment to lock eyes with him, allowing her gaze to weigh heavily on him. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, she slowly turned, ascending the steps of the platform to her previous position before sitting.

"Well," Flash began after the Queen resumed her throne, "This certainly makes much more sense now with your side of the story, and let me be the first to humbly apologize for the outrages committed against you and your ponies, it is a terrible mark on our Nation for which I am most heartily sorry. Is there any message that I might bring to my liege Celestia or anything we might do to atone for these crimes?" Sanguina stomped a hoof on the platform,

“Leave this place. And tell sun pony that if any of her wretched ponies dare trespass in our lands again, we kill them!” She snarled, emphasizing the last part with a flash of fangs. This was not the sort of ending Flash had hoped for, he knew Celestia was hoping for a peaceful resolution, but he could leave that for the diplomats. He had done his job. He had found out what had happened, and now it was time to leave before they invited him to stay for dinner. Every extra second he remained in the Queen's presence felt like a hideously unnecessary risk to life and limb.

“I sincerely regret that we could not conclude on more peaceable terms, but I will be sure to pass along your stern warning to Princess Celestia, we’ll get out of your mane now.” He said before casting a glance at Slipstream. “So uh, can I please have my Slipstream back now?” Sanguina glared, a hint of a smile on her lips,

“No. I think bird pony has dinner date with us. Now leave, while you still can,” she threatened, her voice turning even more ominous. Flash slowly lowered his hands to his sides, his care for his friend quickly causing him to forget his previous fear, and even his caution; he sensed his team slowly take on a defensive posture, the clink of armor sounding in his ears.

“That will not do, your highness. He is coming home with us.” He responded adamantly, his growing anger helping to overcome his fear of her. Sanguina shook her head, not taking her eyes off of Flash,

“He is spy, and punishment for spying is death!” She declared, “Surely your lands have similar laws?” Flash clenched his jaw, biting back the angry rebuttal he had in mind for a more measured response.

“Please, your highness, there is no need for further bloodshed. You must know that such an action will only provoke a more hostile response from Princess Celestia, one that she would certainly hope to avoid. Surely there is another way that we might resolve our differences?”

Flash hated this, hated playing the diplomat with all of the little subtleties of the game that were required to play it well. It’s not that he couldn’t, Sunset Shimmer had always encouraged him to put his intellect to work as a child, telling him that he was smarter than most children his age, but it was so much easier when Celestia just pointed him at a threat that needed to be destroyed. It was far less complicated to simply go Hooman smash!

Sanguina did not respond a first, allowing the tension to build. Flash could see a calculating look in her eye as she measured the level of his defiance. He couldn’t quite place it, but there seemed to be something more at play here by the look she was giving him, almost as if she were reevaluating her initial impression. Finally, she spoke, her voice calm but measured,

“We have custom, if a prisoner can defeat one of our warriors in single combat, he go free. But if he lose, we eat!” She said with a confident grin.

Flash groaned to himself, Of course that favors you. Your ponies aren't exactly pushovers, and Slipstream would struggle even if he wasn’t injured. But by allowing us a way out, however unlikely, you’re still coming off as the reasonable one in the end, nice. Now he saw why Frowny was such a shrewd negotiator.

Flash looked at Slipstream, and cast a glance at his teammates behind him. They could still fight their way out, maybe. If Lumen could teleport them all out, they stood a good chance of escaping Scott free. But that would totally spend all of Lumen’s mana reserve, and there was a good chance that these ponies had countermeasures in place against such magical trickery. Instead, another idea came to his mind, one daring enough that it might throw Queen Nom Nom off of her game. Steeling himself against his instincts that shouted every warning, he boldly stepped forward.

“I have a better idea, let me fight in his stead. If you win, you get to keep me. But if I win, everypony goes home safe. But no matter what, even if I lose, you let Slipstream and my other companions go free.”

An audible gasp went through the gathered ponies, even his own team. Queen Sanguina’s jaw dropped slightly for just a second. It wasn’t much, but it was enough of a tell that Flash knew then that his little maneuver had caught her off guard. She immediately regained her composure,

“Why should I accept such terms? We already have prisoner!” She snapped. Flash opened his mouth to reply but was unexpectedly cut off by the last pony on the planet that he thought would support him,

“Because you would be getting the most unique, gourmet meal in the whole wide world!” Lumen Dawn announced with all the glee and fanfare of a used carriage sales pony at the county fair; it seemed to work as all of the ponies ears perked up in response. Lumen slapped Flash on the back, “Why yes indeed, you won’t hardly find another like him! This,” he said with a flourish of his hoof, “Is a human! One of only two in the entire world! And not just any human, why he’s the very first human in all of Equestria, and a perfect physical specimen! He’s healthy! Delicious! And there’s enough of him for everypony! A far better catch than any run-of-the mill Pegasus!”

Flash tried not to gape at Lumen as the natives murmured to one another in renewed interest.

“What do you think you’re doing, Lumen?” Flash hissed under his breath. The unicorn kept smiling at the queen,

“Why, just supporting my Commander’s vision of leadership, sir.” He whispered back from the corner of his mouth.

More like, hoping to turn me into kibble, Flash grumbled interiorly.

Flash watched in the meantime as Frowny whispered something in the queen’s ear before hoofing her the canteen containing the his blood. She gave it an odd look before putting it to her lips for a small sip. Her eyes immediately widened with gleeful shock, and Flash thought he saw a shimmer of light pass through them as she turned her attention back to him, a toothy grin on her face,

“DONE.” She said with a rather disturbing amount of enthusiasm.

“But know this,” she continued, “We not make this easy on you. Our warriors fight bare with no weapons, no armor!” Flash gave a slow nod to this demand,

“As you wish,” he conceded with some reluctance. Once more, this turn of events favored her. True, his inherent magic made him as strong and agile as a pegasus, but at the end of the day, he was still a relatively soft and meaty human without his armor, while the island ponies had tough hides, hard hooves, and sharp teeth which hardly made for a fair contest. Just one more obstacle to overcome. Flash sighed to himself in resignation.

“And you will face our fiercest warrior!” Sanguina declared. A ripple of fear seemed to go through the gathered ponies at the mention of this mysterious pony. Flash blinked as he felt the earth tremble behind him with the ominous thud of impossibly heavy hoofsteps. He spun around, and found himself looking up; the natives parted like the sea before the Almighty as the biggest pony he had ever seen stepped forward out of the crowd, casting a deepening shadow over the relatively tiny human.

Flash withheld an incredulous laugh as he felt the temperature immediately drop. The pony, if the monster could still be called that, was taller than a Clydesdale horse, its brown hide rippling with muscle and crisscrossed with countless scars. Its black mane was bowl cut, which comically obscured the behemoth’s eyes but did nothing to make the ogre of a pony appear any less intimidating. A row of jagged fang sprouted up from the nightmare’s pronounced underbite; its lips rippled as a low growl that sounded like two mountains being ground together escaped from the chasm of it's throat.

“Gospodi pomiluy…” Sugar Rush muttered under his breath muttered as he caught sight of the titan, the strong earth pony taking a step back in caution. Lumen Dawn’s smug grin failed, the white unicorn turning even more noticeably pale shade; Sharps glared, the fearless colt wordlessly slipping an arrow into a bow constructed of pure blue manna while Rose Dust huddled closer to the human, another ultrasonic ‘eep!’ Escaping her lips. Never before in his life had Flash ever seen such a beast of a pony; the anomaly was big enough to bite him in two.

“So,” Flash began with a grimace, “This, is your fiercest warrior, huh?” The queen rolled her eyes,

“No, him Little Tiny.” She said. The beast took one massive step to the side, revealing the striking orange mare with lemon yellow eyes and a pitch black mane and tail standing behind him. The pony was slightly taller than the average mare, about four feet by Flash's estimate. Her body was smooth and sleek, taught with lithe muscle like that of a jungle cat. Her hooves were also a matching black to her mane and tail, a rarity among mares. She held a confident stance, with her chest puffed out; and rather than coming off as hostile, her entire demeanor conveyed a kind of radiant joy that made Flash almost want to smile if not for every one of his instincts of self preservation presently screaming at him to run for his life from the terrible danger he now sensed he was in; the hair on the back of his neck stood completely on end. She immediately perked up at the sight of Flash with a rather disturbing look of gleeful mania not unlike Pinkie Pie at a ‘Welcome to Ponyville’ party. Sanguina smiled,

“This Ferra. She, my daughter, will be your opponent.” She said with pride in her voice accompanied by a smug, knowing grin.

“Hi there!” She beamed with an energetic smile before zipping up to Flash who practically stumbled back in surprise.

“Hi, I’m Ferra!” She exclaimed, holding out a hoof, “Pleased to eat you! I mean, meat you! I mean, meet you!” She said with a nervous laugh while shyly dipping her head, placing a hoof against her chin, an innocent blush coloring her cheeks. Flash blinked again, wondering if this pony was even real. He noticed with growing dread that the other tribeponies continued to back away fearfully, a small foal ducking behind their parent’s legs with a pitiful whimper.

Oh, this bodes poorly…

“You smell nice!”

Author's Note:

Hello!

Sorry I’ve been away so long. Between the Christmas season and moving to a new duty station I’ve been utterly swamped. I didn’t intend to delay the release of another chapter for so long, but yeah, here we are.

Once more, a special thanks to my ever patient, endlessly helpful editor Venerable Ro. This chapter was a bear at times to get just right and he was always there to help, much appreciated mate!

As always, glad to have you here and I look forward to your thoughts, thanks and God bless!