On the Isle of Man-Eating Ponies

by Destiny Chaser

Equestria's Finest

Flash stepped out of the the newly constructed elevator that had let him out within the caverns of Canterhorn Mountain, deep beneath the castle. When Celestia had asked him where he would like his new unit's headquarters to be established, Flash had specifically requested this location as it served as both a secure location needed for a newly commissioned special operations unit with plenty of space to expand while at the same time, eliminating the glaring security oversight that the caverns had been for some time. The way he saw it, two birds with one really big stone.

Though the compound was still not complete, with lights still strung along the sides of the stone corridors and cave walls to provide illumination for the many construction ponies and contractors still hammering away day and night. Flash had become so accustomed to the sound of drilling and air hammers that he wondered if he would actually get used to the sound of silence when all the work was done.

"So! Is it true? Are we on the job?" Slipstream exclaimed, the charcoal grey pegasus with his ever-frazzled electric yellow mane and tail seemed unusually eager for for some reason. Flash immediately started walking down one of the corridors towards his office,

"Shh, keep your voice down, bigmouth," Flash hissed as they walked past a group of chatting contractors huddling over some blueprints. True, all of these ponies were vetted, and had the necessary clearance to be down there, but the human didn't like taking any unnecessary risks with operational intel. Slipstream took to the air, flying backwards in front of his friend,

"Aww, don't be like that boss! It's been over a month since we've gotten to go knock some heads together! C'mon, spill it!" Flash rolled his eyes, but still managed a small smile,

"Yeah, we're on the job," he said in a low voice, causing his friend to do a double hoof-pump in celebration.

"You seem awfully excited about this Slips, care to share why?" The pony grinned,

"Oh come on, think about it! You've heard the stories: A tropical island? A native tribe of beautiful, probably very lonely mares, and one very available stallion still looking for a marefriend to bring home to meet the parents?" Slipstream said while pointing both hooves at himself and waggling his eyebrows, "Sounds like a dream come true to me!" Flash raised a skeptical eyebrow,

"Do your dreams threaten to possibly eat you?"

"Only on Tuesdays!"

Flash was about to comment that the pony should probably stop eating fire-hay snacks before bed when he sensed the presence of the almost stereotypically sneaky thestral waiting to pounce on him on the opposite side of his darkened office door. He tried to think of a solution while at the same trying to block out Slipstream's incessant chatter droning in the background, which was making it difficult to think.

"You know what I'm saying?" Slipstream continued as Flash smiled to himself when a solution to both problems presented itself; he opened the door and stepped aside, allowing the spring-loaded bat-in-the-box to crash into his friend, "I think I should be really optimistic-OOAF!"

"Good morning Rose Dust," Flash said to the groaning pile of tangled limbs and wings, "Still not good enough, by the way."

The light grey, almost white-coated bat pony shook her head, flipping her indigo mane out of her face before looking down with her bright-pink eyes to see who she had crashed into, "Oh, heh, hi Slipstream."

A confused groan was her only reply. She climbed off of the stupefied pegasus and jumped around to look at her commanding officer, "How are you doing that!" Rose Dust asked, frustration scrunching her fuzzy face.

"That's my secret," Flash said with a smirk; he was honestly curious to see if his espionage agent could figure it out, as a test of her abilities. For now, she was still fishing.

"And I would appreciate it if you would stop breaking into my office, corporal." Rose Dust helped Slipstream to his hooves who took to the air, holding his head.

"Aww, you're no fun boss!" She said while glancing back at her cutie mark, a heart-shaped, unlocked steel padlock, "I was just, you know, practicing! Annnnd, sorta, _hiding..." Flash raised an eyebrow,

"Hiding from what?"

The yellow burst of what felt like a violent, very angry teleportation suddenly deposited his executive officer, team battlemage, and bestest buddy-who-couldn't-wait-for-his-Captain-to-get-hit-by-a-train-filled-with-nitro-glycerin-and-rusty-nails in the whole world, Lumen Dawn; and he looked oh so happy to see him. For some mysterious (probably) reason, the white unicorn's normally immaculately coiffed silver mane and tail were styled up into perfect Prench braids, complete with little pink bows.

Rose Dust immediately sprang to cover behind her commanding officer, rubbing up against the human's legs like a cat with an innocent look on her guilty face before looking shyly at the the near-nuclear unicorn, "Hiiiii Lumen," she said while batting her eyes at him, "Did we fall asleep on the job, cutie?" Flash cleared his throat,

"Ahem, morning Lumen, uh, new manestyle?" Flash could hear the unicorn's teeth grinding over the sounds of construction echoing throughout the cavern,

"...Captain..." He hissed, his voice straining as he barely managed to cover his ever palpable disdain for the human with the thinnest layer of due-respect, "If you don't tell that two-bit, nasty skank of a mare to keep her filthy hooves to herself..." One of the unicorn's eyes twitched as he glanced at Slipstream who had somehow managed to shove both hooves into his mouth in an unsuccessful attempt to hold back his laughter. "Then I swear to Luna, I'll..." He paused, glaring at Slipstream; the pegasus appeared to be approaching critical mass.

"One word, peasant...If you so much as utter one. SINGLE. Syllable. Then your flank is-"

"BONJOUR MADEMOISELLE! YOUR HAIR! C'EST MAGNIFIQUE!" Slipstream exploded in the most horribly overdone, obnoxious Prench accent Flash had ever heard before rocketing down the corridor, cackling madly as the apoplectic unicorn seemed to be launching every spell he knew as he dementedly chased after the fleeing pony.

"YOU'RE DEAD PEASANT!"

"EXCUSE MOI, MADEMOISELLE!"

Flash sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose, "Guys," He began as an explosion shook dust from the ceiling,

"I BUCKING WARNED YOU!"

"HAVE YOU SEEN MY BAUGETTE?"

"Can we at least finish building the headquarters before we blow it up?"

"GONNA MAKE A BED FROM YOUR BONES AND SLEEP IN IT!"

"I mean, you know, if it's not too much trouble?"

"I AM PRENCH! HON! HON! HON!"

Rose Dust meanwhile ducked her head under Flash's fingers, trying to tempt a free ear-scritch from the human as if she had done nothing wrong. Flash sighed as he gave her fluffy, tufted soft ears a few well-placed scratches,

"See? This is why we can't have nice things," He grumbled; another explosion in the distance causing the entire mountain to tremble. Rose Dust hummed to herself while pushing her ears into the exquisite fingers,

"Mmmm, define 'nice'," she countered.

"AHHHHHHHHH!"

"AAARRRRRRGHHHHHH!!!!"

Author's Note:

Wow, publishing shorter chapters is a lot easier!

Comments

[Venerable Ro]

Oh but Lumen, you've got just the manecolor for Prench braids! That lovely platinum silver really does show off the style to its best effect.

Admittedly, the cursing does somewhat detract, as does the pyromania.

[Destiny Chaser]

11359082
Rose Dust would certainly agree with you

[Heartland Picker]

11359082
11359085
Too bad Rarity couldn't see this.....
Wait, does anyone keep a Polaroid?

[Destiny Chaser]

11359222
Oh, you know the bat took pictures of her work haha

[Antiquarian]

"GONNA MAKE A BED FROM YOUR BONES AND SLEEP IN IT!"

That's a line worth remembering.

[Heartland Picker]

11433273
Yawn, it's another Tuesday in the Free Worlds League.

[Tape Deck]

Task force members established in this chapter:
Slipstream: Childhood friend turned temporary bully, who became a friend again.
Lumen Dawn: A general annoyance from the stock of the nobility, but interesting to see again.
Rose Dust: Thestral prankster, who I already like a lot. Great introduction.

"BONJOUR MADEMOISELLE! YOUR HAIR! C'EST MAGNIFIQUE!" Slipstream exploded in the most horribly overdone, obnoxious Prench accent Flash had ever heard before rocketing down the corridor, cackling madly as the apoplectic unicorn seemed to be launching every spell he knew as he dementedly chased after the fleeing pony.

From here to the end of the chapter, just take my 's. Take all of them.

What do I keep saying? Characters. Dialogue. Done superbly. READ THIS MAN'S STORIES, PEOPLE!
Well, I guess if you see this, you've already been reading his stories. No matter.

[Destiny Chaser]

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Yup, two more team members to introduce yet!

So glad you're having fun.