• Published 6th Aug 2022
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The Drake Six - JNKing



Twilight's got the Mane Five? Now Spike's got the Drake Five

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Episode 60: The United Species Academy

With the Storm King defeated and the non-pony species having proved themselves as friends and allies to Equestria, Spike almost dared to hope that he and his friends had earned themselves a break. A chance to kick back and relax now that Equestria had been saved once again.

But, as he had come to expect from being friends with a Princess, there was still one more surprise waiting for him.

It came in the form of Twilight herself, with a simple phrase: “I want to open a School of Friendship.”

Spike resisted sighing in resignation. “I feel like I’m gonna regret this, but… why?”

“Seeing all the different species together,” Twilight explained. “How we overcame the Storm King through working together… it was nice, but…” she winced. “You remember those changelings we ran across; how they still wanted Chrysalis on the throne.”

Spike shivered. “Let’s hope they don’t get their way.”

“Exactly,” Twilight said. “We need to show them why Thorax is better than Chrysalis and that we’re far better allies than enemies.”

Spike hummed. “Good idea, but… we shouldn’t try to undermine Thorax’s authority. He’s ultimately the one who has to keep their loyalty. We can’t do that for him.”

“No,” Twilight admitted, “But we can give him and his changelings the opportunity to learn more about us, in exchange for us getting to learn more about them. Hence the school; it wouldn’t just be ponies teaching friendship; every other species would have the opportunity to share their culture, history and anything else they’d feel like showing off.” She paused. “W-Within reason, of course,” she added quickly. “We don’t need to know about their mating practices, for example.”

“Though I imagine Star wouldn’t mind that,” Spike noted.

“Why would she?” Twilight snarked. “She’s probably been getting quite a few lessons in that from Ember.”

Spike laughed, but jokes aside, he couldn’t help smiling. Maybe he had been spending too much time back around Twilight, but the idea of getting to learn more about his fellow dragons and maybe even some of the other species was rather inviting. “Alright then,” he said. “Where do we start?”

##

It turned out that they had to start, not with the princesses, as Celestia revealed to them, but with the Equestria Education Association. Though Spike felt they would serve better as the next villains that threatened Equestria.

They certainly looked the parts; flowing dark robes, sitting in shadows on pedestals that let them look down their noses at Twilight and Spike. Spike could definitely see them planning to take over Equestria one day, if they so desired.

“Princess Twilight Sparkle,” the unicorn on the largest pedestal drawled. “I am Chancellor Neighsay. Equestria owes you a great debt. But princess or no, hero or no, we expect you to do things by. The. Book.” He stamped his hoof on every word.

Though he could see her shivering, Twilight managed to maintain her composure. “I believe you will find my curriculum meets all of your requirements. If we want to keep our land safe and create a friendlier and more peaceful tomorrow, we must teach the Magic of Friendship far and wide, as well as learning what defines friendship for our non-pony allies.”

Neighsay rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “A school for ponies to learn how to protect themselves from non-pony threats.”

Twilight shared a worried look with Spike. “More by respecting differences and communicating.”

Neighsay’s eyes narrowed at her words. For a tense second, Spike wondered if that was going to be enough to get them rejected. But finally…

“The EEA concurs,” Neighsay finally decided. “Every pony should be prepared to defend our way of life. So, if your work is in order, provisional approval is granted. We will need to observe your school up and running before it can be fully accredited.”

Twilight perked up in hope. “Yes sir. I promise we will do things exactly by the book.”

##

Of course, while support had been granted, gathering teachers was another matter entirely.

“There’s no way I’m going into a teaching gig, Twilight,” Rainbow Dash said. “They’re gonna think I’m an egghead.”

“Sorry, sugarcube,” Applejack agreed. “But I’ve got a farm to run, and not a lot of time for teaching.”

“I don’t know, Twilight,” Fluttershy whimpered. “I’m great with you guys, but teaching a bunch of students… I-I’m not sure… B-Besides, Discord’s been feeling a little off since that battle and I don’t want to leave him alone for too long…”

“Oh, girls, don’t worry,” Twilight assured them. “Remember, this school isn’t just about teaching how ponies view friendship. It’s about interspecies cooperation. So, to that end…” she opened the door of their new school, revealing several non-ponies behind it. “I’ve reached out to the other kingdoms to see who would be willing to teach us about their cultures.”

“Hi everybody,” Gabby declared happily, prancing ahead of the group before enveloping Spike in a bear hug. “This is so exciting! I’ve always been one for sharing, and now I can make a living out of it!” She laughed as a familiar blue griffon rolled her eyes at her. “Take that, all the griffons who said I would go poor from generosity! Who’s laughing now? I am! Ha!”

“Yeah, like you didn’t risk losing all your treasure on three separate occasions,” the blue griffon at her side snarked.

Gabby, for her part, managed to laugh. “Oh, Gallus; I love how you always have some witty quip to bring to any situation.” She noticed Spike watching and dragged him over. “This is Gallus; I thought it’d be nice for some griffon students to join as well.”

“Students?” Gallus laughed. “You know Gilda sent me along to make sure you stayed on track.”

“WHAAAAAT! No she DIIIDDN’T!” Gabby insisted, laughing before leaning next to Spike. “So, you doing anything later, or…”

“Ah-ah!” Gallus pointed out with a grin. “See! One second and you’re already getting distracted.”

“NO I’M NOT!” Gabby insisted.

As the two argued, Diamondback swept forward to Twilight with a wide grin. “You could always expect my help when it comes to sharing knowledge, my dear Princess,” she said gracefully. “It’s like I’ve always said, isn’t it, Spike? Gold and silver are nice, but knowledge, friendship and love can be even more valuable.” She glanced behind her at an orange dragoness - one Spike recognized as the one who hammered the Storm King in the face. “It’s something I also hope to teach dragons like Smolder here.”

The orange dragon - Smolder - scoffed. Noticing Spike watching her, she indicated Diamondback and made the ‘cuckoo’ sign.

Spike shook his head with a grin, before noticing another dragon. “Astral? What are you doing here?”

“Twilight actually asked me to teach the history of the Dragon Empire at this school,” Astral replied.

“Because the Empire is different from the Lands?” Diamondback asked, before laughing. “What am I saying? Of course it was. About as different as barbarians and soldiers.”

“Considering you were one of those ‘barbarians’,” Smolder noted with a grin. “I wouldn’t be laughing, bright scales.”

Any scandalized response Diamondback wanted to make to that was cut off as one of the yaks stomped forward.

“Me Yona Yak!” she declared. “Come to pony school! Make better! Tell all about Yakyakistan!”

“Please!” cheered the bright pink hippogriff (Silver Stream, Spike remembered). “I know Cousin Sky Star told me to share about Seaquestria, but who says I can’t learn something else along the way.” She gasped and zipped over to a wall. “No. Way. Did that pony just become the wall? Can you guys do that?”

“Ocellus!” a voice called. “What did we talk about?”

With a small whimper, the part of the wall that had caught Silver Stream’s attention turned into a shivering changeling. Thorax stepped up next to her.

“I told you to stay in your own form,” Thorax chastised. “It’s the polite thing to do.” He turned to Twilight with a worried smile. “Sorry, she’s shy.”

“That’s so cool!” Silver Stream cheered. “I didn’t know ponies could turn into… uh… what are you?”

“A changeling,” Thorax replied.

“Ponies can turn into changelings?!” Silver Stream asked in shock.

“No, changelings can turn into ponies,” Spike clarified.

Silver Stream blinked. “Well, that makes no sense.”

Twilight cleared her throat, catching the others attention. “Thank you all so much for supporting this school. Our species overcame a great evil together. An evil that wanted to keep us divided and weak. My hope is that by learning and working together, we will understand each other better, and take steps towards not just a united Equestria, but a united Equus. With your help, the entire world could learn to truly live in harmony and peace.”

A cheer sounded - some whole-heartedly, like Silver Stream or Thorax, and some half-heartedly, like Smolder or Gallus.

Twilight turned back to the entrance, where the group could already see students of every species gathering.

Twilight took a breath. “Alright, everyone,” she declared. “School is in session.”
##

However, what they didn’t notice was that, on the far edge of the school, a pair of villains were watching.

“Sombra,” Shade said gravely, “I can’t help but question this plan of yours. Chrysalis failed with the espionage plan, and having a child help us with this is foolish. What if she betrays us.”

“I know dear Ex-Queen Chrysalis gave you a bad impression of what changelings can do,” Sombra noted, focusing on a tiny unicorn filly at the back of the crowd. “But secret infiltration does have its merits. And I have no intention of having a child help us… at least not willingly.” He cast a spell that caused the little filly to stiffen, her eyes briefly glowing green. “Let me demonstrate.”

Blinking hard, the filly gave a more determined glare before following the others into the school.

##

They ran into trouble before the first class was even done.

Twilight had insisted that since she - a pony - had come up with the idea, the class on ponies got to be first.

Unfortunately, while Spike could deal with her tendency to lecture and dump exposition, the others were not as eager to put up with her.

“Is this what boring is?” Silver Stream whispered halfway through Twilight’s lecture on the history of Equestria. “Am I bored?”

“No wonder we had to step in to stop the Storm King,” Smolder noted. “Their best tactic was probably ‘boring’ him into surrender.”

“Hey,” a pony with a dark green mane chastised before Spike could. “That’s Twilight Sparkle; she saved the world from Nightmare Moon, Discord, Sombra…”

“Wasn’t Sombra beaten with the aid of dragons?” Smolder refuted, earning a small glare from a filly in the back.

“Ugh!” Yona bemoaned. “Pony class waste of time! Wait till yak class! Yona teach how to braid hair! Braiding hair is best! Yak Class Best!” She stamped her hoof with each declaration… until she ended up breaking her seat, and falling on Smolder.

“Whoa! Easy!” Spike yelled, racing over before Twilight could step in. “You guys okay?”

“Fine!” Smolder snapped, shoving Yona off her. “Takes more than an insecure yak to take me down.”

“Insecure?” Yona demanded. “Yaks best!”

“No claws, no wings, no fire,” Smolder listed off. “What is it exactly that you’re proud of?”

“Come on, Smolder, that’s harsh,” Spike protested.

“Yeah, Yona just loves her heritage, okay?” the green maned pony noted. “No need to get testy over it.”

“Aw, are we not being sweet or friendly enough for you pony?” Gallus mocked.

“That was sarcasm, right?” Silver Stream asked. “Because you didn’t sound sweet or nice.”

“Maybe dragons and griffons are too tough for friendship,” Smolder replied.

“Yaks tough!” Yona snapped. “Just not nasty.”

“Who you calling…” Gallus snapped, but Spike got between them.

“Break it up,” he barked. “BREAK IT UP!”

Twilight groaned, stopping her lecture. “What is going on here?

“Just a friendly discussion about the magic of friendship among friends,” Gallus snarked.

Spike turned to Twilight. “I think it’s time for another class, Twi.”

Twilight looked crushed, but Yona jumped up. “Yes!” she declared. “Now is Yak time to shine!” She grinned heartily at Smolder. “Show nasty dragon Yaks best!”

Smolder seethed, but was held back by Spike. “Just wait until the dragons get the chance for a class,” he offered. “I’m sure DB and Astral will blow anything the yaks got out of the water.”

Smolder smirked at the idea. “Don’t suppose it could be literally… like with our fire or something.”

Spike chuckled. “Heh, I’m sure Twilight wouldn’t approve of that.”

##

As it turned out, Twilight didn’t approve of a lot of things.

With her EEA book by her side, she vetoed Yona’s attempt at a yak clog dance that nearly destroyed the floor (Smolder found that highly amusing), a dragon wrestling match (Smolder found that less amusing) and even the fireworks display Diamondback offered in compromise, a griffon showcase on flying (much to Gabby’s dismay), and even a changeling game of charades (which left Ocellus nearly in tears that she messed something up).

The only thing that her book of guidelines seemed to allow were constant lectures on the histories of their various races.

“Twilight, dear,” Diamondback protested, “I can’t possibly just ‘tell’ everyone what happened. Some things need to be shown.”

Ocellus whimpered, having suffered stage fright halfway through her lecture, and fading into the floor.

“But the EEA is going to be watching,” Twilight insisted, hammering her hoof on their guideline book. “They need to see a school that follows their guidelines.”

“But Twilight,” Spike whispered. “Those guidelines aren’t working.”

“Then we have to try harder and make sure they do,” Twilight insisted stubbornly.

As she stormed off to make an attempt at the hippogriff class, he glanced worriedly at Jackknife, who was going up next.

Jackknife watched Twilight march off with a shake of his head. “She’s stubborn like a mule, ain’t she?”

Spike glanced behind him at an actual mule. “No offense,” he noted to the mule.

“None taken,” the mule replied.

Jackknife barely glanced at the mule before huffing stubbornly. “Unfortunately for her,” he noted with a grin. “I got a stubborn streak myself.”

Spike’s eyes widened. “What are you planning?”

Jackknife just smiled ominously.

##

As the class filed into the next classroom, Spike could still see Smolder and Gallus already snipping at each other. Twilight, however, kept her eyes firmly planted on her guideline book.

Which caused her to miss that Jackknife was late to his own class.

The students grew more restless. Another argument was breaking out between Smolder and Yona. Twilight looked up with a tapping hoof.

“Where is Jack?” she hissed at Spike.

Spike could only shrug… before he noticed the window. “Oh. There he is.”

Twilight and the students turned… and Twilight’s jaw fell open in horror.

“What the heck?!” Smolder yelped.

“SEA SERPENT BROUGHT OCEAN?!” Yona boomed.

Jackknife was riding a literal tsunami towards the class. With a whoop of glee, he smashed the tidal wave through the window. Twilight shrieked soprano before she was caught in the wave and swept out, left bopping in the water as a whirlpool kept her above the surface but unable to interfere.

The rest of the students had leaped back in shock, but the water didn’t touch them, instead withdrawing to the window and revealing a soaking wet but grinning Jackknife.

“BEACH PARTY!” he cheered.

The students, in turn, whooped and cheered as well. And for the first time since the school opened, Spike actually saw the others enjoying themselves, and even start to open up far more than they did in their lectures.

“And that,” Gallus was explaining to Silver Stream, “Is why griffons breathe fire when we get mad.”

“Really?!” Silver Stream’s eyes were sparkling with joy.

“Griffons full of hot air!” Yona joked, getting a round of laughter from even Smolder.

“And yaks are actually good at jokes!” Smolder laughed. “Who knew?”

“What are dragons good at?” Ocellus asked.

“Competition,” she replied. “Who’s up for a race?”

“Let’s see whatcha got, Scales!” Jackknife said, instantly at her side with a grin.

“And Feathers!” Gabby offered, jumping in. “I wanna show what these feathers can do!”

“Uh, Jack,” Spike asked carefully. “Are you sure you should be racing?” He glanced over at Twilight, who was floundering. “We don’t need her drowning.”

“Oh come on,” Jackknife replied. “I’ve been doing that for hippogriffs since I was a hatching.”

“It’s true,” Silver Stream said. “Sea serpents helped hippogriffs learn to breathe underwater. It’s how we became sea ponies.”

Diamondback gasped in glee. “Like Diamond Dogs?”

“Diamond Dogs?” Silver asked. “What are those?”

As the two got into a passionate discussion about diamond dogs and how they helped dragons similar to sea serpents, Spike noticed Twilight panicking some more, pointing frantically at them.

“Jack?” Spike called, though he and Smolder were in the middle of racing. “JACK!”

“What?” Jackknife demanded.

“Can you cool off?” Smolder demanded. “You’re ruining our race.”

“Seriously, Twilight’s in trouble!” Spike said, pointing to how Twilight was thrashing.

“Nah, can’t be,” Jackknife replied. “She’s just pointing at…” He went silent… right as Spike heard a throat clear importantly behind him.

Spike turned, and his skin paled under his scales: Chancellor Neighsay was standing there, glaring down his nose at them.

And in that moment, Spike was certain that he was a villain. He may not be about to take over Equestria. But he was definitely about to make things more difficult for them.

“C-Chancellor Neighsay!” Twilight stammered, Jackknife having dropped his spell on her, and allowing her to scramble to shore. “Chancellor Neighsay, wait!”

“What is this madness?!” he demanded. “You said you were opening this school to protect Equestria. To defend ponies from dangerous creatures who don’t have our best interests at heart.”

Spike crossed his arms. “And when have we not proven that we don’t have Equestria’s best interests at heart?”

Neighsay indicated Ocellus, who flinched under his glare. “Need I remind you about what the changelings did to the Princesses? How they tried to take over Equestria twice?”

Spike stepped between him and Ocellus. “And need I remind you that they were the first ones to come to our aid against the Storm King!”

“And how do you know they won’t take what they learn here and use it against us for a third time?” Neighsay refuted.

“N-No, never,” Ocellus insisted. “K-King Thorax wouldn’t allow it.”

Spike nodded. “I trust King Thorax. I saw him personally fight Queen Chrysalis.” He indicated all of them. “I saw everyone here put their lives on the line to help us take out the Storm King.” He glared at Neighsay. “But I don’t remember seeing you.”

Neighsay gaped. “What are you insinuating, dragon?”

“Spike,” Twilight whimpered. “Maybe it’s a bad idea to talk back to someone who’s in charge of all the schools in Equestria!”

“No!” Spike barked. “What’s a bad idea is talking back to Princess in charge of all the Friendship in Equestria. Why are you letting him stop you from doing your job?”

Twilight tried to hold up the rulebook, only to find it was completely soaked through. “T-The rulebook…”

Spike glanced at the others. “Tell me guys,” he said. “Did going by the book actually work? Were any of you honestly learning anything?”

A resounding “NO!” echoed from everyone - even from the pony students - with a faint, “No, not really,” from Ocellus trailing behind.

Spike turned back to Twilight, who looked like she was seconds away from a mental breakdown. But she needed to hear him. “We’re doing something new, Twilight,” he insisted to her. “Something important.” He turned back to Neighsay. “And ‘why’ we’re doing it is far more important than ‘how’ we do it. And we ‘are’ doing this! Whether you like it or not.”

Neighsay snorted stubbornly. “I don’t think so. This school has failed to meet EEA standards. Irresponsible teachers…” he jutted a chin at Jackknife, who flashed him a rude gesture, “Endangering ponies…” he indicated the shattered window… “This school is a disgrace. It will never be accredited by the EEA!”

Twilight flinched, but after a moment of thought, rose up to stand by Spike’s side.

“Because it’s not an EEA school,” she replied. “It’s a friendship school with its own rules. I should know.” She jutted her chin, matching his glare. “I’m the Princess of Friendship.” She grinned at Spike, and the others. “These students reminded me that every friendship is special. So the way we teach it has to be just as unique. My school is going to do things differently. And if the other Princesses were here… they’d agree with me.”

“I know I agree,” Star Wing’s voice noted, before she swooped down to join them.

“Where the heck were you?” Jackknife demanded.

“Trust me,” Star said, “I was planning to make a big grand entrance, but…” she gave Spike a proud look. “You guys seemed to have it under control.”

Spike grinned back at her, only for Neighsay’s scoff to draw his attention.

“As I recall,” Neighsay growled at Star Wing. “You gave up your role as a princess, so you could serve as the Dragon Lord’s concubine.” Ignoring Star’s glare, he turned to Twilight. “And allowing these creatures to attend? Changeling the rules for them? It won’t work!”

“Some said earth ponies, unicorns and pegasi wouldn’t work either,” Spike replied. “Guess how that turned out.”

Twilight beamed at him. “I was hoping someone was paying attention,” she noted, before returning her gaze to Neighsay. “I promise you, Chancellor. My school will help protect Equestria.”

Neighsay glared at her. “Or destroy it.” But with Star, Twilight and Spike all standing in his way, he reluctantly turned on his hoof, and left the premise. The others watched him go.

Twilight sighed, before turning back to the other non-ponies. “I’m sorry for ruining your classes,” she said. “I know it’s late in the day, but… if you wanted to do them over…”

Smolder glanced at the beach Jackknife had made for them. “I think this should be fine as it is,” she replied.

“Yeah,” Gallus said, “It was stuffy in those other classrooms.”

“Yak make cannonball!” Yona boomed, launching into the water gleefully, and causing another mini-tidal wave that Jackknife barely kept from soaking everyone.

“I guess it sounds like we’re keeping things going here,” Spike said.

Twilight cringed a bit at the clear change from the classroom setting. But as the beach party continued, even Twilight couldn’t help but join in the fun.

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