Star Wars: The Droid Chronicles

by Stalin with Da Spoon

7. The Top 3 Worst Locations to Scout

[Eastern Barren Regions, Charlie Team Observation Camp, 12:00 AM. 2 BBY, Galactic Sector D-6.]

OOM-244 hated this region.

Compared to the other vicious and inhospitable worlds he had been on, they were paradises compared to this wasteland. Barely any signs of life aside from the occasional mutant monstrosity of flying scorpions or giant monster moles, absolutely no signs of greenery or flora for miles, rough and rocky terrain, and he swore it was getting hotter every second he spent outside, as well as massive amounts of dust, having to wipe some off of his optical sensors as he looked through his standard issue Electro-binoculars and observed across the entire wasteland before him.

The thing he focused on the most was the almost monolith-like black spire reaching into the sky a fair distance away from his position. It's height and appearance similar to that of a separatist fortress, although more looming and intimidating, appearing less like a castle or fortress, and more like some kind of evil lair the separatist council used.

Not only was he focusing on the structure itself, but the creatures surrounding it, as bi-pedal creatures with mono colored insect-like eyes, covered in black chitin with insectoid wings, and lots of holes in their arms and legs which did not make any sense whatsoever, along with what appeared to be horns on their head. These creatures baffled him, as they seemed to work almost like a hive mind, tirelessly building away at the massive hive spire and reminding him of the geonosians, which made him cringe.

As the heat began to get to him, 244 decided it was time to head back inside the camp, as the lone droid captain turned around and began quickly walking down from the tall peak he had climbed up to survey from.

244 made sure he was careful not to accidentally trip on any rocky outcroppings or loose pebbles and boulders, as falling down the cliff would not be a fun experience. As he carefully made his way down, he soon caught sight of the small cave his squad had set up camp in, as well as seeing the landing pod they had used to arrive in the far distance, already covered in rust and dust. Walking up to the entrance to the cave, he slowly trotted his way inside, his optics adjusting to the dark interior, as he turned a corner to see his troops lounging about, visibly miserable.

B1-293 definitely had the worst of it, his body visibly covered in condensation from his internal cooler running over time, having to hold an emergency cooler pack to his head just to stop his central processor from melting down and detonating.

B1-429, while not as worse off, still had his own problems, as he was busy removing large amounts of dust gathered up in his servo motors, even removing his right arm from it's socket to shake it completely clean of dust, groaning in frustration.

B1-916 was far better off, though that did not mean he was exactly clear, as he was busy repairing a large gash in his right leg along with a few other scars caused by one of those mutant scorpion monstrosities that had attacked them the night they had arrived.

However, when all of them considered the other landing zones available...

They just felt sorry for the poor droids that got sent to the frozen north.

[Northern Frost Region, Beta Team Observation Camp.]

So.

Incredibly.

Blasting.

Cold.

OOM-1921 could not even comprehend how it could be so cold. He'd been assigned to cold planets before, but this, this was a pure frost covered nightmare. His joints had frost and ice seeping into them, his optical sensors were freezing over, his voice practically muffled thanks to all the falling snow, and how he could barely even see ten feet in front of him. Yeah, this place sucked. However, it did have some perks.

For one thing, no hostile wildlife to deal with, aside from the occasional polar bear, but a quick blaster shot scared it off easily. Also, the cave they had used for shelter was actually pretty warm, and the crystals inside made it look quite nice, even if they were a bit bright. The most notable feature of the landscape, was the massive city in the distance.

Composed of what appeared to be entirely of crystals, the city was quite large, and seemed to be completely void of any snow, as if some kind of protective anti-snow barrier was around it, which might've been true, as large energy readings radiated from the city's central point, inside a large castle. While 1921 was not close enough to see it's inhabitants, he could tell that the city had quite a substantial population.

Regardless, as he watched the cities inhabitants from afar using his binoculars, he heard the cracking of snow behind him, as he looked to see B1-3193 carrying out a tray of two cups of hot steaming oil, as he audibly sighed in relief.

"Bout time you got here with that oil, I'm about to freeze up."

"Hey, your the one who volunteered for watch duty."

"Fair enough." 1921 then took the mug of hot oil, as he raised it into the air while 3193 did the same. "To the CIS!"

"To the CIS." And the two clinked their hot oil mugs together, and poured the contents all over themselves.

"Ahhhh, that's real nice." After the oil had seeped into their servos and melted the frost, both droids stood up, stretched out a bit, and set off on a short walk back to their cave, treading through the snow until they entered the cave and reached their camp a bit deeper inside, seeing B1-5554 and 3939 sitting around a fire they had built to keep themselves warm and melt the frost building up on their bodies, fueling it with the surprisingly flammable crystals that surrounded them, as 1921 and 3193 took a seat, and settled in for another day in this frozen hellscape of ice and snow.

Least it wasn't a wet and miserable swamp.

[Western Marshland Region, Near Delta Team Camp.]

Why did the swamp have to be so swampy?

The sound of wet splashing and OOM-7161's groans filled the air, as he slowly treaded through the knee deep and murky green water, pushing aside branches, lily pads, and stepping over the occasional mossy rock. 7161 definitely regretted volunteering for patrol duty instead of just letting one of his squad mates take the job. He was a captain for pete's sake, he shouldn't be waltzing out in the water and the cold! Then again, he didn't like the prospect of sitting on his butt all day and waiting for something interesting to happen.

Soon, after treading across much marshland, 7161 soon saw the camp come into view, placed atop a small dry island in the middle of the marsh land, as he soon climbed up and saw the other droids sitting around a fire, lounging about, as he himself decided to take a seat while he pulled out his left leg to let out all the water in the socket and heard B1-3932 chuckle a bit.

"Alright, next time one of you guys is going on patrol, I got water all up in my servos."

"Hey, you volunteered."

"Shut up, or else it'll be you going out there tomorrow."

[Ponyvile, Carousel Boutique.]

OOM-5264 couldn't help but think about how the other recon teams were doing as he and 7262 helped hold up a long line of cloth as Rarity worked at trimming away. Maybe they were having a bad time and suffering harsher climates than his team had?

Ehh, they're probably fine.

Author's Note:

Short little mini chapter while I draft some ideas for the story going forward.

Comments

[Booster Spice]

Who are going to be the lucky drones that get placed on CMC duty?

[Allsmiles]

(Ooooh, Changelings still 'evil' good to note. Also, love the little toast 'To the C.I.S.!' from the droids clacking the oil together. Very nice! Heheh, ahhh... yeah, poor scouting droids. Their existence is pain right now.)

[Noname8]

Ah yes, the oldest form of comedy.

Schadenfreude!

[Animatorsnake]

So currently five teams are planet-side - Alpha is within the Everfree Forest now Ponyville, Beta is at the Frozen North within sight of the Crystal Empire, Charlie is somewhere in the Badlands (maybe or somewhere else) near Chrysalis' Changeling Hive, then there's Delta within the Hayseed Swamps, the fifth and final team is at the Castle of Two Sisters, rebuilding and redesigning to their specialized fortifications.

[Black--Soul]

The Ponyville Alpha team has it indeed the best overall.

Some are overheating, other freezing over. Some are getting water damage, while other enjoy dust and sand clogging up moving parts...
Only one team is chilling, while hard at work for the end goal: Co-operation and coexistence!

Great chapter. Feels like Civilisation V, just no hostility yet and the progress is smooth overall.

[Black--Soul]

11364359
All running smoothly after Kalani wasted over a decade on his crash landed Commando Ship 👍
11300820
A priceless classic.
I prefer puns... Droids could probably give Zecora a run for her money that way.
11300133
Many ups and many downs, once the Droids can mix the advantages of them all, they be highly valued everywhere 👍
11300059
Scrap Patrol 👍

[Black--Soul]

Damn fine re-reading, always fun to laugh about forgotten humor filled moments.
While many things seem to have survived rather well, spare parts will eventually be a problem.
Hope if they build fabrication facilities that they watch out for air, water and other pollution.
One thing starwars is openly neglecting is environmentally friendly production and mining facilities. At how rare hospitable planets are and how common non life supporting planets are I am rather surprised they even threat planets that bad in starwars universe.

Edit: October29:
How is this amazing story not drowning in comments of many Fimfiction users?
It sure has the likes to show for it!