Star Wars: The Droid Chronicles

by Stalin with Da Spoon

14. Bring the Ponies to Work Day

[Alpha Headquarters Control Room, 8:00 PM. 2 BBY, Galactic Sector D-6.]

"What does this button do?" Pinkie asked, for approximately the 50th time as she pointed at a big red button on one of the terminals in the control room.

"That button is utilized for triggering an emergency alert across the facility, engaging a lockdown and sealing all doors and windows." Replied TF-3749, in a very tired tone. He was surprised anybody was this curious about the functions of the control room's equipment, but no amount of happiness to answer questions could last long enough when those questions came in a non-stop barrage.

"What about this one?"

"That button activates all currently offline Droids for mobilization, as well as alerting active units for new orders.

"This one?"

"That button engages security systems of the facility, and before you ask, the button next to it sends a call to the Blade of Serenity for reinforcements."

"Cool! And what about this one?"

"That button serves no purpose, it is for stress relief."

"Can I please push it?"

"You may."

Cue Pinkie pressing the button so fast it proceeded to completely break, letting out sparks as it's rapid button-caused beeping ceased. "Oops, sorry! Didn't think that would happen!"

"Never in my career have I seen that type of button be disabled from constant use in 0.5 seconds. I will catalog this data for potential use."

"Okee dokee! Say, don't you ever get bored, mister Colonel sir?"

"Not in the traditional sense. I am not programmed to get 'bored', or even feel any similar emotion. However, I do not like to be seen doing nothing and prefer to always be giving people orders. Miss Pinkie Pie, would you like to be given an order?"

"Sure thing!"

"Grab a sponge and go clean the pads on the Airfield." After a few seconds of Pinkie staring confused, the Colonel clarified. "The Airfield was originally the castle courtyard, accessible via taking the elevator down one floor and taking a right, then a left and exiting out into the artillery cannon emplacements, then you go past them to reach the airfield." The Colonel then handed Pinkie a sponge and a bucket, as she grabbed them and saluted.

"Sir yes sir!" Pinkie shouted followed by her zipping off at lightspeed, dazing the tactical droid as he turned to OOM-9164. "Ensure she doesn't accidentally break anything else, and also ensure all personnel are up to date with the ponies access authorization."

"Roger roger." 9164 said as he saluted and proceeded to follow the perplexing pink pony.

"What about me?" 9164 said, or rather, the clone of 9164 spoke up, surprising TF-3749 before he regained his composure.

"Firstly, due to the possibility of confusion between you and your... Clone, you will hereby be designated as 9164-B, while the original shall as 9164-A. As for your orders, you are to remain here and answer any questions the other ponies may have. I cannot answer their questions as I am required to direct the offloading of additional materials."

While it was partially true, TF-3749 just wanted to get out of this room and away from all of these illogical questions and behaviors.

"Roger roger." 9164-B said as he saluted before the Colonel exited the room, closing the door behind him before turning to B1-282. Where it was the original 282 or his clone, 9164-B had no idea

"He just ditched us didn't he?"

"Yep. Now go show the ponies around."

"Roger roger."

Meanwhile at the other end of the room, Major OOM-5264 and 7262 were currently checking the holo map of the Everfree forest as Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity looked with them, closely observing the map as 7262 threw a fit over the forests layout.

"This forest makes no sense! The weather is totally unpredictable, the paths are zig where they should zag, the wildlife is hazardous, and even the forest itself is a hazard!"

"That's the Everfree for ya, an un-natural anomaly. Not even Rainbow and her pegasi friends can predict or control it's weather."

"Wait... Pegasi can control the weather?"

"Yep, and we're pretty good at it too! Heck, we can whip any kind of weather if we got enough ponies to do it!"

"Write that down, write that down! We can use that!" 5264 said as he turned to 7262 who was rapidly writing in a notepad while the two mares giggled. "Wait, how do you even do it?"

"Well, how else darling? With Magic, like you see me doing right now." Rarity said before gesturing to her horn as it glew purple before a similar shade of purple aura surrounded 5264's blaster on the table before lifting it up into the air as the droids watched in amazement.

"Woah... It's like the Force!"

"What in the hay is the force?"

"It's a sort of space Magic that these ancient warriors called Jedi used. They were very well skilled in utilizing it to their advantage, as well as wielding lightsabers." 7262 explained.

"That sounds cool! So wait, could we be Jedi?"

"I dunno, you could try though."

"That would be so sick!"

---

Outside of the control room walking in a long corridor, General Kalani and Princess Celestia slowly walked while escorted by two Commando Droids, illuminated by the moonlight outside.

"May I ask why you feel the need to escort us? We are perfectly safe, and even then we are capable of defending ourselves, my friends. Not that we doubt your abilities of course."

"It is our programming to protect high value individuals ma'am. Our duty is to ensure your security at all times." One of the commando droids answered, before the other spoke up.

"We also possess no other possible objectives to complete, and feel the need to be seen doing something important and meaningful so we feel accomplished."

"That is understandable. Now then, General Kalani-"

"Please, simply refer to me as Kalani, unless of course we are in a state of War, then you may refer to me as General."

"Ah, well then Kalani, I must ask, who was the original leader of the Confederacy?"

"While the Confederacy had no true elected official, functioning more on a Congress system with an elected leader, the Head of State was a sith master known as Count Dooku or Darth Tyranus, while the title of, and pardon the mouth-full, Supreme Martial Commander of the Separatist Droid Armies, going to General Grievous. Both of them wielded lightsabers and were highly adept at lightsaber combat, terminating many jedi as well as leading their armies well. I remember meeting General Grievous on the battlefield and saw him terminate three jedi at once."

"This general sounds like a highly adept warrior... Where are they both now?"

"While the status of General Grievous is still unconfirmed, I was informed a few days before the shut down code was transmitted that Count Dooku was killed at the hand of a Jedi named Anakin Skywalker. As such, the Confederacy was left dis-organized, and the last fews days of the CIS were filled with chaos as the communications link was filled with panic and despair... However, now it is silent."

"Oh dear, so the rest of the Confederacy is gone... Well then, we will just have to work on rebuilding it! But that reminds me, when we were discussing our relations between the confederacy and Equestria, you said that Dooku was part of the corrupt seperatist council, no?"

"While this is true, he himself was not corrupt, far from it in fact. Only the corporations part of the council were fully corrupt. Dooku himself in fact stood for the principles of the CIS, hating corruption, standing for liberty and freedom. However, the influence of his sith master, Darth Sidious, clouded his judgement... I have been informed through private channels he was once a former Jedi Master, and a well respected one at that."

"So a noble warrior who wished to destroy evil and make their nation a better place, turned to dark powers for help... It sounds all too familiar to me. But moving on, if I may ask, why did you choose our world specifically? Certainly there were other candidates?"

"Well, when we activated the hyper drive, we entered a set of random coordinates for the western part of the Galaxy, an area mostly unexplored by the Republic or CIS. I suppose it explains why civilizations like yours were able to fly under the proverbial radar of the wider galaxy. Regardless, this planet also hosted an abundance of resources, including the components for construction of more droids, fuel for our starship, and most importantly, remaining out of Imperial space. Of course, there are the dis-advantages of the multiple species on this planet possessing primitive technology, including your own kingdom. No offence."

"None taken, ever since many of our brightest minds passed away and their knowledge was never properly documented, we have had trouble trying to adapt to the modern age. I have heard that overseas in the land of Griffonia they are wielding steel weapons that breathe fire and iron wagons that roll over enemies. I suppose it's time that the modern age has caught up with us. Even Twilight tried to push us to modernize when she was still my student."

"She seems very curious and knowledgeable even now. Now then, it would seem this planet's solar cycle is coming to an end, and you should likely gather your party to return to your homes for tonight. Tomorrow we shall dispatch a diplomatic envoy directly to your capital."

"I understand. It was wonderful meeting you and your droids, General."

"Likewise." The Princess outstretched her hand, and the General answered as he shook it with his own. "I believe this is the start of a beautiful relationship, between the CIS and Equestria, and Ponies and Droids."

A Relationship which would soon be tested.

Comments

[Booster Spice]

Head of State was a sith master known as Count Dooku or Darth Tyranus

Or as his nickname in another realm was?

DEATH.

[Mlpfan0307]

Nice Chapter 😁

[Mr Swanky Hat]

Going by what was said, I'm assuming this is in the Unknown Region, how close to the Chiss I wonder?

[Allsmiles]

A Relationship which would soon be tested.

(Well, THAT'S foreshadowing. So what will it be? Griffon armies? Minotaur legions? Imperial scout forces? Clone Troopers? The Changelings? Existential emergency threats A-Z? Or just pony and Droid culture clashing? Whatever the case... looking forward to sparks flying!)

[Wise2Fox]

Got to love this fic its gets me every time.

[Keldeo_of_thepast]

Great story

Also do you plan to have them take pony’s up to the ship ?

[Keldeo_of_thepast]

11495928

Or chrysalis attacks and Kalani does something alittle to harsh

Chrysalis sends a invasion force

Kalani breaks the pony version of the Geneva Convention by uses chemical or biological weapons or something
(Bet that would set off something )

[KarasAdamas]

Always a joy to see this update. It’s well written, the dialog is fluent, not awkward and logical. Non of the characters act OOC and everything feels like it’s been approuch in the best possible way.

[Keldeo_of_thepast]

Huh here is a interesting idea for a side chapter

The droids end up detecting something coming out of hyperspace

A Star destroyer that was abandoned after a battle hits the moon bouncing off and crash’s somewhere in Equestria

Some of the droids investigate thinking the empire is attacking only to find no one on board

[Animatorsnake]

"That button serves no purpose, it is for stress relief."

Where have you been all my life? PRAISE THEE TO THE "PRESS ME!" BUTTON! IT IS TRULY GLORIOUS!

[Animatorsnake]

So while Equestria and most of the major powers somewhere between Medieval Age when it comes to weaponry and tactics, the Griffons have either WWI to WWII weaponry, vehicles, & tactics. This will make an interesting encounter with the Sci-Fi Space-faring Star Wars Droids.

[Black--Soul]

Equus races play Equestria at war.
While Celestia & Luna now have Starwars Galactic War at their disposal... Awesome.

Did Celestia told them about the Changelings?
It would be rather problematic if Changelings walking up as Celestia and other and make the Droids belive them become lunatics, power hungry, or steal their stuff...

[Black--Soul]

11500867
Coming from a certain story?

11508779
It's purpose is stress relief, there for it has a purpose!
That Droid just lied
11508783
Imagen Griffon army coming unannounced with ww1 and/or ww2 weapons that outshine Equestria, only for Equestria to pull the CIS Joker card...

[Black--Soul]

Damn fine chapter and lore for the ones not quite up to date readers.

Edit: 29 Oct:
Damn... Even Droids try avoid Pinkie Pie.
That mare sure is unique in many ways.