• Published 24th Jun 2022
  • 1,955 Views, 202 Comments

The End is Not the End - Hoofprintz



Upon the deaths of her most trusted and loved, Twilight Sparkle begins to show signs of delirium. It's up to her remaining family to save her from the darkness.

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Celestia : Memories

I galloped about aimlessly, as if an increase in the hectic movement would somehow change what had already been decided. There was nothing to run to.

It's gone... all of it. It's... all gone.

Tears blurred my vision, the idea that I'd have to accept my home's destruction into my heart devastating me. It couldn't be. She would never do something like this. She wouldn't hurt me like this... would she?

One of my hooves clipped a stone, dragging me down, muzzle first, into the dirt. It didn't hurt. I could barely feel anything. Nothing could compare to the pain that the scene around me wrought in my heart. I laid, caked in dirt, splayed on the spot where Luna and I had planted our garden. It was a glorious little collection of fruits and vegetables we'd poured our very hearts and souls into.

Twilight's blast had been massive enough to reach even the basement we'd built for holding our most precious treasures collected over our lives. I weakly scraped dirt aside with my hooves, hoping, praying that something, anything had survived the disaster. I was abundantly aware it was all for naught.

In desperation, one sometimes does senseless things. I was no different. My jaw quaked, emotions ramming against the door I'd locked them behind long ago, demanding their release. I could confine them no longer. Sobs tore through me, pure and unabated.

This isn't right.

I knew Twilight was angry with me. I knew how far she'd go, she'd gone to cause me pain, to strike at our very world, to strike at me... to torture me. Yet, I had still hoped...

No. NO! I can't give up hope.

I had to stay strong. If for nothing else then for Luna's-

The hum of my sister's magic reached my ears, confounding me.

What is she doing?

I turned to find her sitting motionless, her eyes broken, void of any life, her horn shining dark blue.

Is she going to-?

"Luna, we should stay together!" I shouted, but my sobs and the whir of her magic muffled my call. She couldn't hear me, or she didn't care, either made sense. A flash of dark blue light sent her away from me. I was alone with my demons.

With Luna gone, there wasn't a reason to try and be strong, there was only hopelessness. I couldn't even bring myself to be angry with Twilight. How could I? It was all my fault, after all. Everything was all my fault...

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

"Luna, please! You have to stop!" The Elements of Harmony swirled around me, pulsing erratically.

I can't do this... I won't!

Luna had always been a prodigy in combat, but her corruption by Nightmare Moon pushed
even me past the limits of my strength.

The barrier around me crackled and groaned under the wave of magical energy driving into it. If I didn't act soon it would shatter and I would take the brunt of her fury. I couldn't be sure if I'd survive such boundless hatred.

"Never!" Nightmare Moon cackled. "The only thing I HAVE to do is kill you, Celestia!" Her attack increased in ferocity, my barrier beginning to fracture in multiple places. I pushed so much energy into my horn that it had become an unadulterated beacon of light. It felt as if it might break in two at any moment. With the strain I was exerting came a pounding migraine that radiated throughout my body.

"Please, Sister!" I shouted through the tears and my clenched eyes.

"Die..." There was no more cackling, no arrogance in her voice... no more Lulu, only the venom of a monster that desired nothing more than my life. That was it then, I'd no other options save the Elements. I wasn't even really sure what they would do to her.

I reached out to them with my magic, drawing on their power regardless of the repercussions that would surely come. One by one they illuminated as they began to lend me their mana. As soon as the vast amount of adrenaline began to thunder through my veins, I knew the amount of power was much more than I'd ever intended to use against my one and only sibling. Rainbow hued energy exploded from my horn, fortifying my barrier and causing it to morph into countless colors.

Nightmare Moon had no opportunity to react to the sudden shift in balance. Her own blast was amplified by the invincible forcefield I now possessed. It then rebounded, overtaking her form in a split second. And then, I was hovering in the air alone, the cacophony of noise that had just persisted gone. The Elements gradually returned to their dormant state, falling to the ground with multiple echoing clangs. I too descended with a clop of my hooves against the hard stone floor.

"No," I didn't. "No, no, NO!"

I couldn't have.

I looked up at her moon through a window. I felt dizzy, sick to my stomach. My sister was gone. I had to lean against a wall to keep myself from collapsing. "L-Lulu..." I didn't cry and yet tears fell from my eyes, the consequences of my blunder registering fully in my mind. "I only wanted... I didn't mean to..." I don't know who I was trying to speak to. Luna was gone, and the blame lay squarely on my shoulders.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

One thousand years.Three hundred and sixty-five thousand days. Eight million, seven hundred and sixty thousand hours. Five hundred and twenty-five million, six hundred thousand minutes. That was the predicted duration of my sister's exile, and I would rue every single second of it. When I was informed of the prophecy, the severity of the sentence drove me to become a recluse.

I couldn't even open my mouth to speak, much less perform any of my royal duties as a princess. Even raising my sun had become incredibly taxing. Raising her moon in her place...

All I wanted was Luna back.
To hold her, to see her smile again, to tell her how sorry I was for being such a horrible sister.

How could I have been so blind?

She was my younger sister, my little Lulu, and I had utterly failed her.

All because of the arrogance and pride that I refused to let go of.

Maybe I made the wrong decision. Maybe I should have let her...

No. If I had given in, Equestria would have fallen to the darkness. I couldn't betray those who'd put their faith in me.

I had to be patient, had to press on, even if the only hope I had left was eventually seeing her again, I would hold on to that hope for dear life.

Five hundred years passed at a snails pace...

The darkness that clung to me made it feel as if I was being submerged in water. All the colors in the world had become muted and dull, the motion I witnessed slower than before. At first, I was able to hide my despair from others, but I was slowly beginning to suffocate in the deep. Ponies were making observations of my errant state.

Are you eating enough, Princess?

Food I had previously enjoyed now tasted like ash.

Are you getting enough sun?

Imagine that! Me, not getting enough sun.

Are you sleeping well?

Sleep... slumber had long become an adversary I could not stand against.

Every night was a repeat of THAT night. Every nightmare the exact same. Luna pleading, begging me not to send her away. Each night I did so without hesitation, shame, or remorse. I knew for a fact, it hadn't happened that way, but after so long, after experiencing my own heartlessness over and over again, I began to believe it was the truth.

The separation was taking its toll on my soul, leaving a scar that I was convinced would never fully heal.

How has it only been five hundred years?

I didn't know if I could endure the rest, but one thing was clear as crystal to me; something like this could never happen again and I would make sure of it, no matter what it cost me.

Ten years before Luna's return...

The young unicorn, Twilight Sparkle, was special. She was a marvel at both magical application and capacity.

Could she be the answer I'd sought for so long?

I'd researched the Elements of Harmony inside and out the past millennia. Their true implementation was one of purification through harmony. I had made an error. I merely used them as a source of power, a way to boost my own capabilities.

It was a truly selfish deed, and so, I was punished for it. Luna had never been released from the Nightmare, my mistake had only trapped her, nothing else. She was confined as Nightmare Moon. When she broke free of her shackles, the same catastrophe I had faced before would be released along with her.

But if I could do things differently... well, not me. I could no longer embrace harmony, not in my current condition. My heart was split in two, half of it with my sister on her moon. Twilight Sparkle on the other hoof? If she could properly sow the seeds of friendship, she could extract the true power of the Elements. Then maybe... just maybe, this nightmare would finally come to an end.

The prophesied day

She'd actually done it!

I knew if anypony could, it was her, my most faithful student. Over the last ten years Twilight had proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that she was supremely gifted. The final test I had presented her with was the most crucial, the most difficult she'd ever faced, yet she passed with flying colors.

I'd given her a single day to cultivate true friendships and she'd done it, the Elements themselves confirming the authenticity of the emotions that the group held for one another. However, my concern was not with my faithful student or her newly made friends. I was proud of her, so very, very proud, but there was another that meant so much more to me. One that I'd not seen for a thousand years. One that I was both excited and terrified to meet with.

"Luna..." I tried to sound kind, to sound friendly, but my voice cracked awkwardly. She was so small, so delicate. Drained of all magic, her mane and tail were comparable to that of a mortal's. She looked up at me, cowering at my full majesty. She attempted to stand, but even her physical strength had been completely sapped by the Elements.

"Ce-Celestia..." She shivered like a frightened foal, eyes wide, as if caught in bright headlights.

Is she afraid of me?

My heart pounded in my ears. That was the last thing I wished for. I lifted a hoof toward her. She flinched. I froze, fear grasping my heart. I felt moisture crawl down my cheeks.

Her eyes widened further, taking up the majority of her face. She was every bit as adorable as I recalled.

"Sister, I've... I've missed you so much," I held still, not wanting to make her any more fearful than she already appeared.

"S-Sister!?" her voice was a mixture of surprise and hope. She was finally able to stand to her hooves, the trembling and fear seemingly chased away by my honesty.

"Lulu!" I threw my forelegs around my little sister and wrapped her in my wings. She didn't reciprocate, instead beginning to tremble. I felt warm droplets plip against my shoulder.

"TIA!" She bawled, unmoving and pitiable.

"I'm so sorry, Lulu!" My tears flowed like a river.

"Nay, Sister. Tis all my fault," she moaned. The two of us sobbed pathetically in front of Twilight and her friends and I could not have been happier. My sister was back home and that was all that mattered to me.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The wonder of being alive had returned to me in full force. The sky glimmered a blue I'd never witnessed in all of my prior years. Birds chirped and flew by with a vibrancy I'd long forgotten. Flowers bloomed and danced in the breeze. Critters scrambled up and down trees, carrying food into their homes.

The darkness had fled from me and it was rapturous. Luna recovered her power faster than I thought possible, thankfully. Her strength was the same as in the past, and with no trace of Nightmare Moon to boot. She took up her duties immediately, striving to make up for the time we'd lost, wanting more than anything to prove she was genuinely repentant of her actions. Her efforts were irreplaceable, as was she.

My attention was now divided amongst a plethora of issues; my royal duties, Luna, Twilight, her friends, and my own personal problems. In the deepest, darkest recesses of my mind, demons whispered lies and taunts into my ears. There was still an irrational fear rooted deep within me.

What if it happens again? What if I shunned her once again?

What a cruel twist of fate that would be.

Due to this irrational fear, I put my faith in Twilight Sparkle and her friends. I had to ensure events like those would never recur, and she was the foundation of that plan.

Twilight's potential was limitless, her ability to comprehend abstract knowledge seemingly infinite as well. My faith had not been misplaced. She and her friends sealed Discord swiftly after his escape from his stone imprisonment. It was quite an impressive feat for a small group of mortals. After that success, I trusted my faithful student with even more responsibilities. I was so confident that they could defeat Queen Chrysalis I went so far as to feign both my own defeat and capture. While they may not have won outright, Twilight had been the catalyst for our victory, releasing Cadance from the shackles that kept her from her love, Twilight's elder brother, Shining Armor.

My student was growing at an alarming rate, one that I had to rectify. Her capacity would soon breach the limits of her mortal body, so I changed that. I transformed her into one of us, an alicorn that could contain the vast wealth of power she was reaching and quickly surpassing. With her evolution came more trust and responsibilities. I leaned on her intelligence more than ever before, perhaps more than I should have, though that's an easy assessment to make with the gift of hindsight.

Lord Tirek was next to be overcome by the six Elements of Harmony. More surprising to me was the fact that violence was never utilized for them to attain victory. I was dumbfounded. Luna and I were originally able to seal Discord away without shedding any blood, much to my sister's chagrin. If Twilight could best the darkness with her friendships alone, then maybe I'd been incorrect my entire life.

Time and time again the six ponies beat back the evils that tried to consume Equestria. Over the years Twilight became progressively more important to me. I'd never met anypony like her in my thousands of years. A simple mentor-student relationship evolved into a complex one, then that became something more... so much more...

I'd never wed, never found a stallion or mare that I felt I could share my life with. It would be too horrid, would it not? Watching them age and deteriorate over time was far too... cruel. Maybe that was selfish of me. Because of this fact, I'd never had a foal of my own.

Twilight had become like my own daughter. She'd taken my lessons and made them a part of herself. My lessons had come from deep within my heart and so, over the years, Twilight gradually came to resemble me. A younger me. A better me. And I loved her like my own kin. Almost as much as I loved Luna... almost.

Twilight's friends soon became our friends. My sister had become especially fond of the fashionista, Rarity. Where once I saw only allies of my most faithful student, I now noticed the lights shining in each of the other five ponies.

Applejack, the honest farm pony who'd help you with any problem you had and never once complain about it. Fluttershy, the kindest soul I'd ever encountered, and one with a set of pipes that could compete with the most talented opera performer. The supremely generous Rarity. She was always creating some article of clothing and would give it to you freely, no strings attached. She helped Luna with her past more than I ever could hope to. The bond they forged from dealing with their shared guilt was unbreakable.

The Nightmare is a truly hideous thing.

I owed the ivory unicorn more than I was ever able to repay her.

Rainbow Dash was loyalty taken the form of a pony. A touch brazen, a tad boastful, but one hundred percent reliable. She was the best flier ponykind had ever produced and had become the ace of the Wonderbolts. Finally, Pinkamena Diane Pie, a blinding beacon of irrepressible joy. Her songs. Her jokes. Her games. She was a life that never stopped spreading smiles and laughter. They were all special in their own way and it took my student to open my eyes to that.

Then, Starlight Glimmer came along. Twilight took the mare under her wing, her very own most faithful student. She was an amazing talent in her own right. She'd started out as the dictator of a small town, one that Twilight and her friends promptly liberated. My student and our friends completely reformed Starlight, yet another villain brought to the side of good by the group. The magician Trixie, Starlight Glimmer, even the Lord of Chaos Discord, had all become newfound allies that now protected our land and had even saved us from the evils that lurked in the world.

Twilight was infallible, a machine that churned out victory time and time again. With complete trust and faith in her, I made a rash decision. Luna and I would pass control of Equestria down to Twilight and our friends. I hadn't even thought to seek Luna's council at the time. It had genuinely seemed like the best thing to do. I was blinded by the light of my prodigious pupil. If it ended up the way I'd expected, Luna and I would have so much more freedom. We could finally spend quality time with one another.

Everything, in fact, did go according to my plan. We helped the new princess whenever she needed it, but mostly we lived a solitary life, enjoying the peace and quiet of each other's company. I was jubilant... until it all went south.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The lavender alicorn leaning against me cried softly. I held her close, gently stroking her flowing mane with my hoof. She'd gotten so big, competing with me for largest alicorn. It made me more than a little sad that I couldn't pick her up anymore. When she was a filly, I'd take her in my forelegs and lift her into the air, cradling her and placing light kisses on her forehead. If she got hurt. If she was sad. Sometimes for no reason at all. She was my cute little star pupil. Now all I could do was be a pillar of comfort for her.

"I'm going to miss them." Her voice was weak, full of sorrow. Twilight Velvet and Night Light had been good ponies and better parents. Her father's passing was a peaceful one, his wife holding his hoof the entire time he was bedridden. The real shock came days later when Twilight Velvet simply did not awaken. The blow to my student's psyche was severe. I couldn't remember my parents... or if I even had any. My life that far back was hazy at best, so the only empathy I could give Twilight was limited. "Will I ever see them again?" she pulled back and looked into my eyes hopefully. The tears rolling down her cheeks reflected my sympathetic face. The light in her eyes flickered, struggling to stay alive, but dynamic when it was there. I couldn't let that light go out. Without hesitation I nodded and pulled her into the shelter of my wings.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I shifted my weight, first to my left side and then the right. I was standing outside Twilight's chambers, unsure of what I should do. Shining Armor had passed away a week earlier, Twilight still not in a good state of mind. Again, I felt insufficient. Had I ever experienced such loss? Absolutely, too many friends to count had I lost to the greedy claws of death, but a sibling? Any time I thought of losing Luna my legs weakened and my heart raced. Even remembering back to her banishment brought about a grief that I fought to avoid no matter what. If Luna ever passed I don't think I'd be able to carry on.

And yet, I had to tell the one who looked up to me, the one who trusted me more than anypony else, to move on in spite of her only brother's death. It was hypocritical and unfair.

Just be strong, for her.

I mustered all the courage I could and lifted a shaking hoof. The door pulled open, a light blue magical aura enveloping it. My niece looked surprised at my presence. She rushed out of the room and quietly closed the door behind herself.

"Auntie! What are you doing?" Her explosive whispering was more counterproductive than she seemed to realize.

"I..."

What am I doing? Why am I so afraid of seeing her?

"How is she doing?" I changed the subject, hoping Cadance would humor me.

"Better... but still not very good." She must have realized her mistake because her tone was much quieter and less booming. "She needs you, Auntie."

"I don't know what to say to her, Cadance," I had to be honest. That's why I was afraid. I didn't want to let her down, to make her feel even worse than she did now.

"It's tough, isn't it?" she smiled weakly. The grief was there for such a short amount of time that I'd have missed it if I blinked. Cadance had lost her loving husband. This all had to be the most difficult for her, and yet here she was, smiling. "We have to be strong, have to be steadfast and lead no matter what. Even in the face of despair, we have to endure all the pain. Losing Shining..." she struggled, but grit her teeth. "It hurts so much, Auntie."

"I'm so sorry, Cadance."

She shook her head and smiled wider as if recalling a good memory. "It's okay, really." I couldn't understand.

Is love really so powerful?

"How can you be so..." I didn't even know how to put it into words.

"I'm not. Really, I'm not. We all rely on somepony. Flurry is my heart. She's the reason I can press on. She's the reason I can smile right now," she dabbed a tear with her hoof, yet her smile remained. "You're my sister's heart, Auntie. You always have been, and right now, she needs you more than she ever has." She was right. it didn't matter if I knew what to say, I had to be there for her.

"Thank you, Cadance," I smiled, the fear finally quelled as I pulled her into a hug.

"I love you, Auntie," she patted my back with a hoof.

"I love you too, my precious niece." She stepped out of my way with a smile that filled me with even more confidence. I placed a hoof on the door, took a deep breath, and pushed it open.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

"They're gone." Twilight's voice had become hoarse after all the crying she'd done, her bloodshot eyes dry and sore. I sat, leaning on her, a wing holding her as close as possible. My face was stained with evidence of my own grief. "They're all gone," she stared straight ahead, eyes looking at nothing in particular. Fluttershy's funeral had been beautiful, many of her animal friends attended and showed gratitude for all that she'd done for them over the years. The birds had sung beautiful songs, the rodents brought bouquets of flowers, other critters brought more personal gifts, symbols of their affection for the kindest pegasus. I had spoken, then Luna, then Cadance, and then Flurry. Even Starlight at her age had given a wonderful eulogy for our friend.

Twilight could not. The loss of her friends and family had pushed her to the brink of madness and I couldn't find a way to pull her back. She'd begun to research... questionable magic, going so far as to frequent the forbidden wing of the archives. I'd cast a monitoring spell to confirm my suspicions. I was correct, but I couldn't even confront her about it, my fear getting the best of me.

She teetered on the knives edge between despair and insanity and I could do nothing more than watch and hope.

"They'll always be with us, in our hearts," I stroked her lightly with my wing.

"Then why does it feel like my heart is empty?" she continued gazing straight ahead.

"It always feels that way at first," I sniffled. "I'm going to miss them as well, but they'd want us to carry on. They told us to be happy. I intend on fulfilling that wish," I put my head on her shoulder. She was quiet for awhile.

"You're right," she sighed. "I just... I just hate this all so much. I hate not having an answer," she retreated into herself, folding her forelegs against her belly, hugging her own body tightly.

"An answer to what, Twilight?" I moved to look into her eyes. "If I can help, you know I-"

"It's nothing, Princess," she averted her head, eyes closing. "Thank you, for helping me deal with all of this." She refused to look at me.

"Of... of course, Twilight." A new fear burrowed under my skin and found a home deep inside my heart.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The rain fell on the collection of black umbrellas held around the wooden coffin emblazoned with two overlapping four point stars and a flair of waves. The pegasi had scheduled a downpour and the weather matched the mood that the funeral emanated perfectly. As the casket containing Starlight Glimmer's body was lowered into the ground, I stole a glance at my student.

She didn't cry, didn't frown, she didn't even look sad, she simply stared coldly. It terrified me. If Spike's large form hadn't been holding the umbrella protecting her from the storm, I'd wager she'd be drenched, but still motionless. As the ceremony ended and the attendants dispersed, I asked Luna, Cadance, and Flurry to go on without me. Twilight still hadn't moved a muscle. I walked up next to her, first dipping my head at Spike, before sitting on my rump next to my best friend. He dropped his head slightly in acknowledgement. He was solemn, having grown accustomed to all the death stealing our family away.

The rain didn't seem to bother him much, if at all. I stared into the hole at the ornate coffin, searching for words, but finding none.

How are you?

Terrible, obviously.

Are you okay?

Not even a little.

Is there anything I can do?

Can you resurrect the dead?

I began to unfurl my wing, to at least hold her, but reconsidered and folded it tighter against my side. At this point, It felt as if it might be heartless, like a tradition or habit more than an honest attempt at comforting her.

More possible words twisted through my head.

She was a special mare.

I know.

I'll miss her.

So will I.

I'm sorry...

"I'm... sorry, Twilight," I couldn't gather the courage to look at her.

"It isn't your fault," her voice was monotone, her reply unexpected. She didn't move to speak to me. I wasn't even sure she'd blinked since I'd first seen her.

"We're here for you... all of us are, if you need us."

"I know." She shot me down a second time and I'd run out of things to say. We sat in silence, the only sounds the downfall of water droplets hitting the ground and our umbrellas and the low chime of my magic.

"Twilight, I-" she moved to walk away.

"Let's go, Spike," she said to him as she started toward the castle, Spike following obediently beside her still sheltering her from the rain.

"Twilight!" I called out through the rain. She stopped, not turning my way, but waiting. "I love you, Twilight!" She didn't react. After a minute of silence she replied.

"I love you too, Princess," her voice was barely perceptible over the rain, no emotion behind it. They continued on to the castle, leaving me alone in the frigid rainfall.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I'd brought her into all of this, made her immortal without her consent. I put the entire realm in her hooves knowing full well that eventually she'd have to bear the weight of it alone, and on top of all of that responsibility, I never once taught her of death. Never once did I try to prepare her for the inevitable loss of everypony she held dear.

How could I have?

Death was something I still couldn't face with courage. If something ever happened to Luna...

"Lulu." I wanted her next to me right now, to lean on her. And my family had grown beyond Luna, Cadance, and Flurry. If something happened to Twilight...

It was all my fault. All of it. And now I was paying for my sins. The tears had stopped, reminiscing bringing to the forefront a feeling of melancholy. The life Luna and I had worked so hard to create, the life I had so selfishly desired, was gone.

Could I face my student? Was she lost to me? Would violence be the only path forward for us? I did not know the answer to any of these questions. I lifted myself up to sit and gaze at my sun. What I did know was that I had to make things right, even if it cost me my life.

Fwoosh

The sound of a completed teleportation spell resounded from behind me. The voice that resonated from the same spot sent chills running down my spine.

Author's Note:

Such grief for Tia. Her story is tragic here and only continues to be as the fic goes on. I love her so much, but immortals are always plagued with tragedy.

I really wish I would've known how great Starlight was when I first wrote this fic, she would have gotten a way bigger role.