The End is Not the End

by Hoofprintz

Twilight : Curiosity

To my most devoted student, Radiant Dawn,

How are you doing, Radiant? You may still be worried about your new duties in Ponyville, but I want you to know that I'm confident you're much more qualified than you give yourself credit for. I've hoof picked you for this task because I've seen your ability to adapt and excel in strenuous circumstances.

I know neither of us wants to be separated, but I trust this will make you a better mare and myself a better mentor. The first pony I became real friends with when I arrived in Ponyville was Applejack, the most honest mare I've ever known. My only suggestion at this juncture would be to try to be honest with yourself and those around you, like Applejack was. It really is the best policy. Stay safe my student, I know you can do anything you put your mind to.

Your friend, Twilight Sparkle

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The Princess of the Night stood before me in defiance, positioned directly between me and my prey.

Luna...

She was a complication. We'd never been that close, so my knowledge of her capabilities was severely limited. There were too many variables where she was concerned, too many unknowns, like a Rubik's cube with missing squares. That's why I wasn't going to gamble.

She'd get no sympathy from me. She could be as obstinate as she pleased after she was dead. My wall of magic lumbered at the dark alicorn, a look of cautious puzzlement replacing her grim determination.

Try something, Luna. You can do it, it'll be easy. A counter spell, a barrier, anything will work.

The energy was close enough to the alicorn that she was breathing on it.

Just a little more and it would all be over. And then, in a split second, they were gone. The only indication they'd ever existed were wisps of Luna's navy blue magic.

An instantaneous teleportation?

What an annoyance. Was pursuit an option? Most likely not. There's no way I could know where they'd ended up. There were those... but they would take time to search and Luna wasn't foolish enough to stay in one place for so long.

I easily throttled my mana, but my anger was much more troublesome to rein in. In fact, it seemed to be growing more by the second and I couldn't fathom why.

Wait! The spell is still growing as well?

That couldn't be. I wasn't supplying it with energy anymore. That didn't make any sense. Unless... my mana wasn't the source of it's power, but rather my anger?

How interesting!

Which fueled the other, I wondered? What would happen if I let it run its course unabated? It's not like I could move right now anyway, might as well try to learn a thing or two. The instant I cut off the flow of my magic the sphere blasted outward of its own volition.

I could feel vitality and power flood into and then wash over me, a vast river I wanted to bask in for the rest of my unending life. I shut my eyes as vibrations overtook every inch of me. The excess energy, the river, continued to force power into me even after I'd been filled. A sensation indistinguishable from when I'd received my cutie mark radiated on various parts of my body. It was euphoric.

Then, as quickly as it started, it was over. I opened my eyes to find myself still in my room, a large fissure in the stone wall opposite me, the remnants of my assault on Celestia.

It must have hurt, and you caused it.

I tossed my head back and forth, angrily trying to throw the unwanted thoughts out of my mind. I took a step forward only to have a flood of drowsiness nearly sweep me off my hooves.

Tired... Why am I so tired?

I glanced at my bed, its soft pillows and luxurious blankets beckoning me like cupcakes enticing my pinkest friend.

Sleep

Yes, that sounded absolutely lovely. I stumbled over to it, my vision fading to black before I could fully lie down.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I shot up in bed, eyes wide, my body coated in a sheen of cold sweat. My wings were spread wide, stiff as a board. A nightmare I'd just been having escaped my recollection. My pulse raced as I struggled to catch my breath.

Warm morning sunlight ebbed in from between the closed curtains.

But I hadn't...

Oh... that's right.

My mood declined considerably. Celestia had taken it back, not that it mattered. I'd never felt a true connection to it anyway. I pathetically reached into the sky with my mana, trying to sense anything, deceiving myself.

Maybe?

It was pointless. No sun. No moon either.

The feeling of loss boiled my blood. Even more stolen from me because of her. To think she'd ever had the audacity to call me her friend.

Because she is your friend.

Irritation crept into my head followed by a confusing realization. There's no way Celestia could be in any condition to raise the sun, not after what I'd done to her. How could it be morning? How long had I been out? No, there's no way it had been that long. Spike would've been home by now. The only other answer was...

Luna

If Celestia could manipulate both sun and moon, then it stood to reason the Night Princess could do the same. She had, claimed equality with her older sister, after all.

If only I could have gotten rid of one of those cowards.

With their escape things had become so much more complicated... and irritating.

I left my bed in a huff. What was I supposed to do? I'd have to make a proclamation declaring the two of them fugitives. How would that even go over with the populace? Had it been long enough that my subjects trusted my word over theirs?

You can still work things out. You're not too far gone.

"Radiant..." I sighed, deciding instead to focus on my loss. I wished she were here. More than anything else, I wanted to see her again. Even if she wouldn't know what to do, her presence always made it easier for me to think... made it easier for me to live.

I reached out with my magic, grabbing the last scroll she'd ever send me. I weakly lifted it, lowered it, lifted it again, and then lowered it once more.

I can't.

Not again... not yet at least. The wound was still too raw and after Celestia...

Go

As I trotted to the door with a scowl on my face, I was reminded of the destruction the Night Princess had wrought. It was gone, well, in pieces. I flicked my horn, rebuilding the debris and setting the reconstructed door back into its place.

Easy enough.

As I moved to leave, I caught my reflection in the vanity mirror.

"What is..."

I meandered over to it, the alicorn staring back at me different than every time prior. On closer inspection, perplexity and fear spiraled through my veins. My mane and tail had regained their luster, waving in the breeze of an unseen world. I'd thought the loss of the celestial bodies would take that attribute away...

Curious.

My coat had darkened several shades, the lavender hue now a violet bordering on black. The most evident change was viewable when I turned to the side.

My cutie mark had faded, or could it be due to the shift in color of my coat? Maybe a misinterpretation because of the darkening of its surroundings? No. It definitely had been drained of some of the luster it once possessed. Not grayscale by any means, but lacking the vivaciousness it had once displayed.

More concerning were the chaotic runes and markings lashing out from the six-pointed star. Going down both hind legs and nearly reaching my withers and forelegs, the letters? Possibly, but unlike any I'd ever seen. The letters twisted and wrapped around my limbs like barbed wire. Glassy in texture and appearance, there was no rigidity to the marks when touched by my hoof. Prodding them with magic caused them to shine slightly before the luminescence drained out, returning them to their original appearance.

Thiiiis could be a problem.

My immediate instinct was to pick up a quill and... I clenched my jaw, my teeth feeling like they were going to fracture any moment due to the intense pressure. The very idea of relying on Celestia any longer made my anger burn. She wouldn't have the solution anyway. She'd abandoned me. She was useless.

That is not true.

I scoffed at my own naivete. With my first option no longer viable, I'd have to find another path and the best place for answers in all of Canterlot was-

Archives

Obviously.

I'd barricaded myself inside them regularly enough over the past few years. A princess shirking her official responsibilities for personal affairs?

So shameful

I had to, there had to be a way, had to be something I could do to save my family, to save my friends. There wasn't. Countless days wasted studying just to arrive at endless dead ends. Sure, there were temporary fixes, the simplest being
an anti-aging spell. Those could essentially reverse or slow time for somepony, but that was just postponement of the inevitable. Delaying something wasn't a solution, it was desperation.

Selfish

Reality is sometimes difficult to accept, especially when it's set in stone. All the effort I'd poured into curing death was for myself. I didn't care what they wanted, only what I didn't want. I didn't want to lose my friends. I didn't want to lose my family. I didn't want to lose... I bit my lip roughly.

No more tears!

Never again. The disgusting taste of copper filled my mouth.

Focus on the issue at hoof, Twilight!

I channeled a small amount of magic into my horn, teleporting directly into the center of the archives. It was probably a good idea not to be seen by anypony in my current state. Such a drastic change in appearance might cause a problem. I didn't need that right now. Whenever I requested privacy I was granted it, no questions asked. Short of a full scale invasion, I would not be disturbed, not until I permitted so. My safeguards made sure that anypony attempting to go against my decree was unsuccessful.

Being in the archives always invigorated me, like a warm bath after a long day of hard work. The room was nearly endless, three stories high, wooden bookcases lining the stone walls and numerous standing freely. They were packed to the brim with books, some shelves stacked on top of each other reached as high as the ceiling.

Small floating crystals shined brightly, interspersed at regular intervals around the room keeping the entire place illuminated. It was a simple enchantment I'd casted myself, one I was particularly proud of. A spiral staircase in each corner of the space, four in total, provided easy access to every level. An opulent carpet of various colors covered the floor, refreshingly soft underneath bare hooves.

A large mahogany desk cluttered with quills, scrolls, and books sat in the center of the room, my personal work area. At some point over the years all others stopped visiting the archives so they became something of an office of sorts for me. I took a long breath in through my nose. Even the archives air was more pure than the rest of the castle. Another simple enchantment of mine. The scent of ancient paper and knowledge made me giddy. I was back in my element and it felt wonderful.

Unlike everypony and everything else, books were dependable. The written word never betrayed. They didn't leave you when you needed them most. They deserved to be treated with the utmost care and respect. Standing in the center of the massive room made my very existence feel miniscule in comparison.

When I'd inherited the kingdom the archives were the first area I'd dumped funds into. Renovation and expansion were the primary points I gave attention to. Over time, they'd become the greatest source of knowledge on the planet. I'd even managed to acquire books that Princess Cel-

Traitor

Why does everything always lead back to her?

Because she's always been there for you. Because she's your best friend. Because you love her...

The thoughts were grating, like ants crawling all over me, sinking their mandibles into my soft flesh.

Lies

I dismissed them all, refocusing on my objective, but frustration still permeating my heart. With the extensive selection of books came the issue of locating the exact one I'd need.

Cutie mark malformations? Deformities? Transformations?

I cantered to the section marked with the letter C. I might even be able to find some information in a book on glyphs or tattoos.

Markings maybe?

I started in the direction of M.

Or maybe it was an alicorn abnormality. I mean, in all my life I'd never seen anything like this happen to a pegasus, unicorn, or earth pony, not to mention any other creature. Maybe it could only happen to somepony with my physiology. I was a rare breed now, thanks to her. I snorted as I made my way toward the A section.

"Alicorns: What is Known," I smirked, reading the spine. The chime of my mana broke the silence of the room as I pulled the book from its spot. Its size, or lack thereof, disclosed the fact that data was severely limited on this particular subject. It made sense. The Immortal Sisters, my sister Cadance, my niece Flurry Heart, were the entire species, other than myself. For more than at least twelve hundred years, that's not a lot to go on. I opened the book and glossed over the pages. Immortality. The term drew my attention.

"Once reaching maturity... never aging... unable to perish?" I skipped around. It was all known info and questions I still had, nothing new. Once I'd grown to my current form everything had stopped. This was clearly maturity for myself. The sisters hadn't changed much in more than a thousand years, even though their bodies were different from one another. Luna was even smaller than I was and I had no clue as to why that was. Cadance and Flurry were bemusing as well. My older sister's body hardly changed over decades in spite of being an alicorn for longer than I. My niece was by far the most bizarre. She was the first to be born an alicorn and was widely viewed as a miracle. Pushing one hundred years old, her body was still that of a normal pony, like mine before I'd grown into the form I possessed now.

The real reason I'd stopped reading was the other term.

What degree of immortality do we have?

I'd attacked her with everything but the kitchen sink, and yet she endured.

Could removal of the head work?

Was that even possible? Luna flashed through my mind, an arrogant smirk on her face. If she'd not interfered I could've captured her sister. Could've ran tests. Could've experimented. Could’ve dissected.

You could never...

I shoved the book back into its spot before stomping away, ignoring my own objections.

Hidden

I stopped. The answer I was looking for could be in the restricted wing, but getting inside there was more than a chore. First, it shifted it's position every hour, on the hour. A locating spell was required to start the process of entry, a simple step really.

Second floor, fantasy section.

The archive floors were separated by necessity. The first was non-fiction, critical reading for anypony and everypony.

The second was fiction, although the legitimacy of some books was up for debate. After all, stories like The Mare in the Moon had once been considered an old mare's tale. Floor three was full of speculative works. Predictions, prophecies, and the like. More... uninhibited works of Starswirl the Bearded occupied the third floor. Such things had become very popular in the past few decades. A mix of fiction and non, the top floor was a fun way to throw away hours or days pretending to be a soothsayer.

After climbing one of the staircases I found myself standing before the fantasy shelves. I placed a hoof against the books and pushed.

Solid.

The second defense was a lot more convoluted to breach. Tipping books in a certain order, just their tops, and then replacing them. Completely removing one from its space wouldn't work, the action requiring precision and a steady hoof. First, I tipped a teal book. Then white. Indigo. Lilac. The same Indigo book as before. Green. Hazel. And finally the same teal from the start. A password tuned specifically to my hoofprint.

Quickly

There was no click or other sounds to confirm my success. I moved forward, phasing through the books, shelf, and stone wall itself, as if I were suddenly a spectre. In reality, the matter itself had lost its tangibility, not me. The spell had a three second duration so speed was encouraged, if not required. I wasn't really sure what would happen if the spell had ended while I was in motion. I found myself inside a small room directly behind the wall.

It was pitch black, barring a set of bright glyphs that adorned one of the stone walls. A single hole was at their center, the third and final security measure. I lowered my head, carefully sliding my horn inside the hole. Only two beings had the key to this lock, Celestia and myself. Luna had been offered her own place, but was adamantly against it.

"I have already made plenty of errors in judgement concerning evil forces. Far be it from me to expose myself to them ever again," she'd explained. It was admirable, if not positively foolish. Once my horn reached it's limit, the wall split down the middle, opening wide.

The sound of stone scraping against stone bounced off the walls as a small crystal emitting light descended from above to provide visual aid. A solitary shelf sat before me, its contents foreboding. This room was basically a prison, the books locked inside the inmates. Evil rituals. Evil spells. Evil spirits. Performing anything from within these tomes would result in a lengthy, if not permanent stay in the dungeons. I'd never come in here before.

It was far too dangerous and my curiosity could get the best of me. I most certainly didn't want to be a cat. The air in the cramped room was stifling, as if tainted by darkness itself. It felt like I was being compressed by the room, as if it didn't want me to be inside it at all.

Look

A book toward the bottom of the shelf drew my attention. It twitched sporadically, the motion barely perceptible in the dim light. My skin started to itch.

You should not be in here. Celestia would...

To Tartarus with what she thinks.

I reached out with my magic and lifted the book from the shelf. I was quite aware that creating a magical link was beyond idiotic. If I'd have kept a cooler head I would've used my hooves, which should've been a bit less treacherous in theory, but the thought of my mentor pressed all the wrong buttons and so, I'd acted foolishly.

It had no title or letters. It was leather-bound, because of course it was. The process of making such material was a severe violation of Equestrian law, but some creatures couldn't care less about order. Brown and tattered, it was much heavier than it appeared to be. A simple buttoned strap kept the book closed securely.

No turning back now...

The hairs that made up my coat stood on end, a small bit of perspiration covering me. I took a deep breath to settle my nerves. I plucked the button out as easily as lifting a bit, no resistance whatsoever. The book clapped open, attempting to wriggle free from within my magical grasp. Unable to keep a grip, I fumbled it to the floor, the loud thump drowning out my magical signature and causing me to cringe. The pages flipped back and forth before finding what they were looking for. I glared down at the pages, heart pounding as sweat began to drip from my forehead.

I really shouldn't be here.

Celestia warned you about reading these...

I bent down to take a lying position as if my body were moved by an external force. I began to examine the book. The images on the right, a diagram of the spell I'd used against Celestia and Luna.

"The Preservation of Life?" I whispered, reading the text on the left.

Could this be it?

All this time I'd searched and searched and the answer was here all along? As I read the purpose of the spell my eyes gradually grew wider.

A cure for death...

The instructions on how to use it were familiar, yet foreign. I'd already employed it once, but not even I could explain how. Rage and malice were all I could recall feeling. I turned to the next page.

"Vessel?" The diagrams on the page were similar to the markings that'd extended outward from my cutie mark. I read the page faster than even I thought I could.

I'm a vessel now?

But I wouldn't be enough. If I continued the sheer amount of power would tear me to pieces. If only I had somepony bigger, somepony who...

"Spike!" I gasped.

I can't!

As I placed a hoof on the book to turn the page again it screeched louder than any sound at a DJ-PON3 concert I'd attended. I slammed my hooves over my ears, my face contorting in pain.

Too loud. TOO LOUD!

I wanted to push the book away, but I couldn't move. It was like the sound had turned me to stone. Within seconds, I felt my consciousness slowly slipping away.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I was drowning in a peaceful sea, sinking deeper and deeper into the void. The miniscule light above slowly faded, my lungs filling with water. As the light died out, so did my life. It was... wonderful.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

"...light!" The gruff voice stirred me from my deep slumber. Soft sheets and pillows. I was in my room, back in my bed. "Twilight!" I opened my eyes to berate the pestering dragon.

"Spike..." My voice was unexpectedly quiet and hoarse. My last friend. He'd always been there for me and when he wasn't, he'd always come back. Sweat clung to his forehead like he'd just flown across Equestria as fast as he could. His eyes were glossy and panicked, though my awakening seemed to allay some of his worry.

Has he been crying?

"Twilight are you...? What are...? What's going...? Where is...?" He was frantic, unable to complete a single question. His claws waved around in the air as if a mosquito were trying to sting him and he was keeping it at bay.

"Spike," I raised myself to sit in front of him before placing a hoof over his mouth. No sunlight entered through the windows. "When did you get back?" Keeping track of what day it was had become a nuisance.

"Just now. Listen Twilight, I need you to-" he replied, but pressure from my hoof and a shush quieted him. So it had been about a day since i'd first fainted. Would Celestia and Luna make a move against me? Where could they be? Their home? That would be stupid. My stomach rumbled with enough ferocity to make Spike lower my hoof with his claw. "When's the last time you ate something, Twilight?" He stared down at me with a frown. When had it been? If I didn't answer fast enough a scolding would be next, and considering he was big enough, he'd carry me himself to the kitchen for a meal like he'd done so many times before. Standing at around ten feet tall, he had grown into a truly imposing figure. He definitely wasn't a baby dragon anymore.

You can't use him as a vessel!

But the spell required something larger. Much larger. And there was only one way I'd be able to get that.

"Spike?" I lowered my head, looking down at my hooves in my lap. I couldn't look him in the eye.

It's not right.

"Do you love me?" I wanted to take the words back as soon as they left my lips. They were tainted, dirty, manipulative. They weren't me, and yet I didn't take them back, I merely waited for his reply. A heavy claw was placed gently on my shoulder. I winced, the touch comforting, but unearned.

"You know I do, Twilight." His affirmation was innocent, the exact thing I didn't deserve to hear.

"I need your help." I still couldn't lift my head.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Dear Princess Twilight,

Things are going... smoothly... I think. Ponyville is a lot different than Canterlot. The ponies here are very... affectionate? I met a mare today, Tambourine. She's definitely the type of pony you said lived here.

I don't really know how to behave around them. Thanks for the kind words, but I'm just not sure I can do this. It's really difficult to be honest with someone when you just want to crawl up into a ball and stay in your room all day. I really miss the castle. I miss our tea time. I miss you. But... I trust you, so I'll do my best.

Your devoted student, Radiant Dawn

Author's Note:

Whew, Twilight has some issues here. LOTS of foreshadowing here. I like the letters I wrote before and after Twilight's chapters too. She's super out of character here, but that's explained later on, so I think it works.

Comments

[littleman001]

"Cure for death?" "Vessel?" I don't like the sound of that. Looks Twilight is playing God now. That never ends well. And just what does she have planned with Spike?

[Hoofprintz]

11292378
@littleman001 Thanks for the comment! She's getting into some nefarious stuff.

[QTMarkCollector]

11292378
Yeah cure for death does not soud like a good idea! And you're right. That never ends well. I hope everypony starts realizing what's going on before she does anything to spike. I feel bad for Twilight. It's understandable to be tired and angry about death. I'm sure she assumed Radiant Dawn would at least grow old and she'd have that time to spend with her. Then for her to die from a random accident? Imagine Twilights shock!

[Clawfoot]

Vessel? A Vessel for what exactly? Something that will prevent others from dying, or WON'T let them die?

Either that or she becomes a lich. Though I am glad to see her soul isn't completely gone.

[Heavy Mole]

I like the letters, too. It gives the narrative a slight touch of nonlinearity which is fitting for dealing with themes involving mental instability and ulterior impulses.

I'm picking up Twilight's "show voice" in some of the italicized passages; later, however, this "voice" seems to be in alliance with T's surface talk. Then there is a third "voice", which is written in her colors, possibly a vestige of her old personality, though it feels like it is artificially constructed (from a diegetic point of view).

I still think one of your best talents as a writer is the ability to conceive a story from multiple perspectives. That's not easy to do. But you also have a knack for setting. I enjoyed T's trip through the archives and the little gestures she used to open books. That whole scene did a lot to help characterize her, in my view.

[Hoofprintz]

11822127
Much appreciated. I feel like this chapter is a little overly descriptive to non crucial things tbh. I'll elaborate on that a bit more later as it's spoilers, but thank you again!