I only hope that the lightning comes with drawbacks. Nothing major, just standard things like if he uses it while in water it affects him. And it NEEDS a static drawback where every time he uses it he goes full-on fluff ball.
11306893 I didn’t dump on anything. I said, basically, “Hey, this specific facet of your writing is unnecessarily confusing to readers, here’s why, here’s a suggestion on a way to fix it going forwards.” I used a couple writing-specific terms that maybe you didn’t know, but ten seconds on google would resolve that.
If you consider actual constructive criticism to be “a dump,” you’re never going to improve, and that vote ratio up there? It’s not gonna improve, either. Shoot, I didn’t even touch on the content (in an effort to avoid “dumping,” in fact) just the craft. If simply pointing out improved mechanics is a bridge too far, heh, well then.
If you’re gonna delete anything that isn’t either sycophantic praise or idle chitchat between readers, then you literally don’t want comments. And ya know what? That’s fine. You do you. Refrain from deleting this one and maybe folks will see it and leave fewer for you to deal with.
Why does the mc act like he has been a dog his entire life? He has his memories and experiences from his years of being human yet he is shown to throw all of that away the first chance he gets to act as a simple-minded canine. I understand that his instincts have changed due to his new body but he doesn't even try to keep his human composure.
It would've been interesting to see the collision of his human dignity and his new body's instinct with him struggling to stay human in the foreign body, a fight for dominance in his own mind.
“Maybe you can put moles into the Nobles houses, and place of business, then you can probably put together a case on each one with suspicious behavior, or maybe they could be audited, or you could raise the taxes for the 1%?” Arctic asked.
Oh boy… I mean it’s not like they are already living in a monarchy which historically has down everything to protect the nobles…
Eh, I much more preferred him as a hot dog.
11301262
I’ll think about it
Excellent work keep it up
great work
11302742
Thank you for saving me from wasting my time
I only hope that the lightning comes with drawbacks.
Nothing major, just standard things like if he uses it while in water it affects him.
And it NEEDS a static drawback where every time he uses it he goes full-on fluff ball.
11304159
seeing how ice powers made his internal body temp drop its unlikely
11304159
I’ll think about it
11302742
Do you really have to be so judgmental? At least try my other stories
Woooow. Okay, so you’re one of those folks that doesn’t want comments. Noted.
11306833
It’s not that I don’t want comments, it’s just that I don’t appreciate people taking a big steamy dump on something I work hard on!
11306893
I didn’t dump on anything. I said, basically, “Hey, this specific facet of your writing is unnecessarily confusing to readers, here’s why, here’s a suggestion on a way to fix it going forwards.” I used a couple writing-specific terms that maybe you didn’t know, but ten seconds on google would resolve that.
If you consider actual constructive criticism to be “a dump,” you’re never going to improve, and that vote ratio up there? It’s not gonna improve, either. Shoot, I didn’t even touch on the content (in an effort to avoid “dumping,” in fact) just the craft. If simply pointing out improved mechanics is a bridge too far, heh, well then.
If you’re gonna delete anything that isn’t either sycophantic praise or idle chitchat between readers, then you literally don’t want comments. And ya know what? That’s fine. You do you. Refrain from deleting this one and maybe folks will see it and leave fewer for you to deal with.
11306899
Did you really have to give a whole lecture?
Why does the mc act like he has been a dog his entire life? He has his memories and experiences from his years of being human yet he is shown to throw all of that away the first chance he gets to act as a simple-minded canine.
I understand that his instincts have changed due to his new body but he doesn't even try to keep his human composure.
It would've been interesting to see the collision of his human dignity and his new body's instinct with him struggling to stay human in the foreign body, a fight for dominance in his own mind.
11311351
Uuuuuhhh……..
Where’s the next chapter?
11321534
Working on it, it’s taking a while. I’ll have it ready when it’s ready so keep your shirt on.
Lightning and Ice powers?
Did Zinogre and Lunagaron had a baby!?
Oh boy… I mean it’s not like they are already living in a monarchy which historically has down everything to protect the nobles…
The voice just keeps giving random gifts for no real reason. Definitely plotting something...