Absence of Logic

by Antisocial Ind.

Ch. 1-5 Extras

Hello, everyone. Noah here. We decided that since we had too many good Ideas, that we'd put the extra ones into the form of deleted scenes and/or alternate endings. Enjoy!

---

Bailey stopped in front of what was probably his house. He lifted the lid up, and jumped back startled. "WHAT THE HEY?!"
A large, blue grey mass appeared at the top of the barrel, and knocked it over. Out of it crawled Adam Davis, another one from Noah's tightly knit group of friends from Centreville. He, too, was shocked.

"DAFUQ!?"

"Oh, you scared me to death, sir. I though you was a barrel of rice!"

"And I thought you were Scarlet Johansson naked doing a crab walk. See, nobody wins when you disturb a man during his precious barrel time."

---

“And then,” continued the Prosecutor, “he ran after the girl shouting things like ‘Get back here, Osama,’ and ‘You still have to answer for 9/11!’”

"Hmmm." The judge was not very amused. "And is this true?"

"Every word," Adam replied, with not even the slightest hesitation or conviction of regret.

"OK, then. What do you have to say, Adam?" Adam got up, now holding a very large bag. He approached the jury with said bag. He presented it proudly to them, allowing the tension and suspense to build before continuing.

"Ladies and gentlemen," he said, undoing the knot, "I present to you: a bag of dicks." He reached in and began throwing dildos at everyone. It was glorious; plastic penises flew in all directions, striking ponies in the face, draining them of whatever innocence they had.

---

"Tyler!" He looked and saw Andre standing in the doorway, against the wall next to the entrance. Fluttershy burst through the door, looking around frantically.

"Where is he? There was a bipedal creature with bandages and brown skin! Has anyone seen him?!" Tyler looked over to Andre and smiled a devilish smile. Andres eyes widened and he began pleading with Tyler silently through very obvious hand signs. Tyler looked back at the impatient Fluttershy.

"Look behind you."

"FUCK YOU, TOO, TYLER!" Andre shouted as he ran out the door. Futtershy flew frantically after him. Tyler looked to Applejack, who was giggling at what Tyler had just done.

"Well, it's been fun. I gotta go now and help my friend. Hope you have a good night, Applejack."

"Well thank ya. And welcome to Ponyville, Tahler."

"Thanks, and for the drinks too."

"Anytime!" she said as she waved a short goodbye. Tyler turned and walked over to the exit. He pushed open the double-hinged doors. Fluttershy flew past him to the right, headed back to her cottage, dragging a flailing Andre with her. He broke her grip and began running again, and she turned and pursued him diligently.

"Oh no you don't!"

"LET GO OF ME!" She promptly let go, causing Andre to fall backward on his back. "Augh!"

"Did you not want me to help you?" Fluttershy asked.

"Erm, I mean I did, but then I didn't need you to help me after I woke up."

"Oh. Well I'm sorry. Why didn't you say anything?" Andre was stumped by this question. Upon reflection he had no idea in the slightest why he hadn't said anything.

"Well," Andre said, "thanks for your help, ma'am. But it's getting dark, and I gotta go. Thanks, again."

"Oh no problem, I hope you feel better!"

"Thanks," he replied, walking over to Tyler. Tyler looked around and realized it HAD gotten dark. He estimated it was probably 7 or 8. Or maybe 1. Who knows, all those times look the same. Is that racist? he asked himself. (Luckily) He didn't have time to finish his thought before Andre reached him. Andre then punched Tyler as hard as he could in the stomach.

"Faggot."

Tyler was out cold before he even hit the ground. This was mostly due to his incredibly high blood alcohol content.

A/N

I would like to say that the last sentence is false. I beat Tyler with one punch, he's just too afraid to admit it.

Dude, that's not how it happened and you know it.

Yes it was, I saw the whole thing.

SEE!?

You weren't even back from court yet!

We watched it on the TV inside my beard. Good old Cox Communications.

B-but, how did y-

Beard powers.

...Fair enough.

Comments

[Antisocial Ind.]

1366146
Yes it is. And what about the flow? Is it jagged? I ask you to look a little closer and see if it is because of the plotline, or if it's the different writing styles, as that is the problem that four amateur writers need to overcome, that is, making it smooth while taking advantage of different writing styles.

[lines n stuff]

i like it

[Antisocial Ind.]

1366332
Thanks for the feedback, we really appreciate it and hope you will enjoy our future chapters

[malfarious]

ohhh sweet Celestia i'm laughing my ass off at you guys. you guys are just too hilarious

[Antisocial Ind.]

1375099
wow thanks, Im glad we could entertain you, though all of the credit should go to Noah, hes the funny one in our group

[malfarious]

1375232 You guys are all equally funny though some are more amusing than others but it is nice to sit down and read a funny story to lighten the day

[Antisocial Ind.]

1375313
What part did you like the best? I need to know what was good and what wasn't.

[Antisocial Ind.]

1377568
thanks for the comment, really glad you enjoyed it, wish i could come up with something more creative thwn a simple thankyou, but noahs the comedy author of our group

[Antisocial Ind.]

1381901
You are very welcome, and I must say that you have made my night. Thank you for your feedback, and also remember this: I might be the comedy, but Tyler does the story, so without him this would be a jumbled mess of Internet memes.

[lines n stuff]

...moar pls

[Antisocial Ind.]

1404481
Working on it. The next few chapters are gonna take awhile as we're all busy with school, work, and music and stuff. Sorry about that.

[Antisocial Ind.]

1404481
I apolagize as well, my work schedual really gets in the way of writing, we hope to have two chapters up by the end of next week though, again, sorry about the delay