The School of Explosions
By iAmSiNnEr
Hiring Discord Was a Bad Idea
September 21st, 1 AT(After Twilight)
“What’s the issue?” Luna stepped out of the portal, following Pinkie Pie.
“Somehow one of Zecora’s students managed to turn one of Discord’s contraptions into a recurring infinite explosion creating doohickey!” Pinkie chirped, bouncing along the corridor. “Discord’s nowhere to be found, and Twilight is holding off the EAA for this. So we had no choice but to interrupt your retirement, Headmare Luna!”
Luna let out a sigh. Two months ago, Twilight had been coronated the ruler of Equestria, which meant that she didn’t have the time to run the school she had built together with the Lord of Chaos anymore. Therefore, Twilight had nominated her, the previous ruler of Equestria, to become the newest Headmare. Luna knew Twilight’s reasons - Discord was too unpredictable, and Luna was the only one with actual authority and power to keep the chaos that was the school in check.
“What’s the situation now?” Luna asked. “Anypony hurt?”
“None!” Pinkie grinned. “But the problem is that since Twilight built the walls to be this powerful and strong, the doohickey trapped the class’s only way out of the room! We can’t break in, the windows melted from an earlier incident with lava, plus we have several of her magic wards buckling under the pressure. I have it from good authority from Trixie that if it continues to explode, the entire wing will collapse eventually.”
“So you needed me,” Luna surmised. “Somepony with powerful enough magic to stop this doohickey.”
“We’d ask for Discord,” Pinkie shrugged. “But according to his last postcard, he’s on vacation with Fluttershy in some other universe. Something about dino-what-you-call-them-saurs and parks? Dunno what that was about.”
Luna facehoofed. When Twilight befriended Discord, Luna had been hesitant of the draconequus. The Lord of Chaos had proven to be a steadfast friend, however, protecting Fluttershy from everything the world threw at her. Equestria, however, was another question. Discord normally disappeared whenever situations like these arose, clearly not wanting to expend any effort to solve the problem.
“Where are we on tracking him down?” Luna strode down the staircase, proceeding to the second level where the potion classroom was located.
“Angel pointed Rarity to the Sanctuary, the bear got us into the Everfree Forest, and Steven showed us an open portal under the lagoon,” Pinkie beamed as she bounced down the stairs. “We sent Trixie in, but she came out, like, ten seconds later, screaming at the top of her lungs. She even forgot to speak in the third person for a full ten minutes.”
They had arrived at the class, and Luna now saw the problem. Some weird contraption was blocking the doorway, exploding every few seconds and then reforming back using some sort of magic. Every three or four explosions, it shot out some green liquid, forcing the ponies and creatures inside to duck away. Already, from what Luna could see, the floor was steaming in several places, even as Twilight’s spells reinforced the marble.
“Headmare,” Trixie greeted. “Trixie has used all of her most powerful spells already. Trixie even set off six of my patented Trixie’s Huge and Magnificent Powerful Explosion Worthy Fireworks™, and all they did was cause it to explode again before it reformed again. What even is that thing made of?!”
“Chaos magic,” Luna answered as she raked her gaze over the machine. “Have you ascertained what caused the thing to go berserk?"
"Zecora got a message to Trixie," The showmare took off her hat and stuck her hoof deep in it. Luna raised an eyebrow, causing Trixie to smile sheepishly. "Illegal space expansion spell, Trixie knows, but Twilight got me a slip allowing Trixie carte blanche for class D spells. Anyways, Zecora sent Trixie a message through the teacher's system and she says," Trixie pulled out a slip of paper. "Eighteen grams of lithium and a spark of magic."
Luna groaned inwardly. "Lithium is highly reactive to water. No wonder it can continuously explode. Discord's magic is only putting it back together."
"I have a suggestion!" Pinkie chirped. "Why not evacuate the students first? Twilight has wards to stop portals from opening in the class, but Princess, oops, sorry, Headmare Luna, you're an alicorn! You could try to force your way past Twilight's wards for now."
Luna nodded. "That could work. The students' safety must come first. Stand back!" Her horn lit up, blue and black magic swirling around in a vortex until it started visibly shaking and making crackling noises. "Almost...there!" Luna grunted, fighting against Twilight's wards. With a pop, the wards gave in, and past the machine, a portal opened in the classroom, eliciting a cheer from the students inside as they quickly used it to exit the classroom.
"That was a job well done," Zecora commented as she stepped through the portal last. "I hope Twilight is not getting her hair up in a bun?"
"Twilight will be fine," Discord suddenly was there, grinning. "She managed to threaten and coerce her way into making the EAA forget about this incident. Besides, my test for the new headmare went pretty well, don't you think?"
"Discord!" Luna exclaimed indignantly. "That was a test?!"
"Course," Discord smiled slyly. "Every new staff member requires a test from me in a situation so that I can see how well they respond to it. Don't worry, it was completely safe." He tapped a claw on the machine, making it deactivate. He popped open a hatch, making green liquid slosh out onto the ground. Luna peered at it.
"Is that...slime?"
"Yep!" Pinkie bounced over. "That's slime, all right!"
"It was just a simple illusion to make it look like it was melting the floor," Trixie surmised. "Trixie doesn't have the energy for this. Zecora, you up for a drink at the bar?"
"I am indeed, for liquor substances I need," Zecora answered. "Come, we shall make haste, before our Headmare turns him into paste." With that, the zebra and showmare hurried away, proceeding down the hallway and turning the corner.
"To be fair, the test was fine," Discord defended himself. "No one was hurt!"
Luna facehoofed. "But somecreature could have been," she forced out through gritted teeth.
"Anddd done!" Pinkie suddenly announced. "I've sent a report to Twilight about the situation. She knows that it's been solved and the whole test thingy."
"Wait," Discord paled. "You told Twilight?"
"Yep!"
"Oh," Discord's body turned a shade of gray. "Three...two...one…" There was a pop sound, and a lavender alicorn materialized. With a flick of her horn, Discord exploded into slime.
Part of me wonders if it would be possible to pull in characters from other shows/stories; characters that are big on explosions and might give guest lectures.
oh This is going to be a ride fill will joy and TnT what more can one ask for
Adding to favorites list
Ooooo, fun! If Discord is on staff there are endless possibilities.
Here, let's try something somewhat similar to the movie Speed that could give you a challenge—
If Zecora is a potions teacher, a student could be creating a potion that goes awry and has a mini explosion of its own, and somehow causes everyone to get stuck in the room (I dunno, be creative). Then it causes anyone that it gets splashed on to speak in couplets like her. Then, if anyone that wasn't splashed in the room doesn't speak in couplets themselves, something in the room explodes.
TL;DR— Write in rhyme.
Didn't Celestia bar twilight from blowing any creature up for the next 1000 years? Doesn't Discord count? Did Twilight break the rules?
It's a good thing Discord can be blown up without dying. Things wouldn't be as big a blast with him gone
Maybe there could be a test for the students to create the biggest explosion and have it accidentally blow up Twilight's castle--the one in Canterlot that is. Or just blow up her now-former castle.
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TNT is for wimps. REAL explosion enthusiasts use hexanitrohexaazaisowurtzitane with a chlorine trifluoride sauce. I hear it pairs rather nicely with a cold glass of dioxygen difluoride. Why yes, I am crazy, how did you know?
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I'm sure Celestia will make an exception for Discord.
Probably goes like this
looks like a story we could get a real bang out of. I'm in.💥
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True TNT is not that strong But you got to start whit the low levels on the explosion list and make your way up from there, TNT to start the party And then you can go to the big bangs, I don't suffer from insanity i enjoy every minute of it
You sure the school wasn’t founded by Michael Bay?
"Whlep looks like lavander dynamite is at it again I suppose..." Quote from Celestia
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Only if it full of oddly racist caricatures, pointless nostalgia, Megan Fox and the raping of 80's franchises for a quick buck.
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Twilight is now the ultimate authority in the kingdom. As such she can repeal any and all laws, contracts, and/ or decrees previously made that she wishes to. Any objections would be consider treason, punishable by being immediatetly exploded.
In short Celestia forgot to consider the fine print.
Kind of wonder what the first meeting between Trixie and Twilight would be like when Twi has a thing for explosions. I could easily see the entire episode just being them comparing various compositions of gun powder.
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Honestly I'd say Trixie would probably come to rely on Twilight for her shows, I mean Twilight could have figured out or develop anything Trixie might need for putting on a bit of flash. Mixing in magic will make it even better! Imagine a firework that produces a single ball of light, but instead of fading it sends out little pulses of various colors until it fades?
Mat: Gets his waybill for the day and it reads: 2 tons of dynamite to School Of Explosions. Ponyville, Equestria. Hazard Class A. Hazard Class 1.1 #0209 placard required.
His boss: Shrugs.
Mat: I don't get paid enough for this.
Boss: Same.
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Worth mentioning here how Megumin's signature spell actually works. While they don't actually have the needed science to use that terminology in-universe, it sounds like she's converting things to antimatter in order to turn whatever she wants into the best possible bomb.
You are aware that it lets you publish chapters that aren't the last one, right? You can publish them in chronological order... without publishing them in chronological order. That is to say, you can publish chapter 3 before chapter 2, but still have then show up in ascending numeric order. Just drag them around.
i.pinimg.com/originals/f4/09/72/f409725727394e809ad313303e1b1179.jpg
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That sometimes messes with notifications.
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So publish, *then* drag... Or are you referring to the unread chapter counts on bookshelves?
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That too.
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/me wonders who will get that reference...
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She didn't blow him up... just converted him to something else.
https://c.tenor.com/LpCi5-FWHBcAAAAC/deidara.gif
https://jojo.fandom.com/wiki/Killer_Queen
could just shove it in the mane. in space, he will not harm anyone