Where Only Silver Shines

by Etyco Filly

A9 — Full Moon

I slammed open another door. I had not intended to, but with each room I found empty I only grew more impatient. Why did Aurora need all these rooms? Aside from her, only two ponies lived here! Whatever. I closed the door.

I started when hoofsteps came from a room down the hall. The old maid’s door opened.

Though my spell muffled my every sound, I still held my breath as she poked her head out of the door. What was her name again, Amethyst? Ruby? She picked up a candle holder and carefully stepped out of her room. “Silverstring? Was that you?”

No reply. Please, please, please go back to bed.

I stood still as a statue as she walked past me, headed for a door on the other side of the corridor. Wait, she could lead me to Silver’s room! Light on my hooves, I followed.

She knocked on the door and waited a few moments. When she opened it, she revealed a room that could only be Silver’s. I held my breath and looked around the corner, at the bed.

Empty.

Amethyst closed the door, muttering something. When she rounded the corner, I fell on my rump.

Empty.

I continued to stare at the door, vision blurring as the world swam around me. Silver’s room was empty.

I blinked.

Where could he be? I had checked all of his usual spots! He couldn’t have gone off to fight Father, could he? No, no, no, push the bad thoughts out of my mind. Silver was no fool, certainly not enough to challenge Father… Was he?

Both were missing. Perhaps Father had returned to the estate whilst I was searching for Silver. But Silver? Could he still be out, helping the victims? That had to be it. Now, I merely needed—

“Oh, not again!” cried Amethyst from the living room, snapping my thread of thoughts.

I took a look at the dark, empty hallway, before creeping towards the living room. Amethyst came out of it, catching me off guard. I took a step back, and held my breath as her ears perked. One heartbeat. She furrowed her brow. Another heartbeat. She relaxed, shaking her head, then continued towards the crystal lamp.

Only when she reached to turn it on did I remember to breathe. The next moment, my world exploded as the bright light overwhelmed my night vision. I squeezed my eyes shut and let go of the fibre of magic I had woven into them, before sneaking away while Amethyst searched a nearby closet.

I had ignored the living room upon my arrival, but I had perhaps been wrong to do so. Silver never spent much time there; why check it? Could it be that he—

Aurora lay on the carpet, unconscious next to a pool of her own vomit. Amethyst must have turned her on her side.

Shit. Luna damn it all! I needed her more than ever, and she had drunk herself asleep! I shook my head. No time to waste, I had to find Silver.

---

Nothing. Only the occasional corpse. My heart would sink at the sight of each of them, but when I confirmed it was nopony I cared about, relief would wash over me, only to be replaced with guilt.

At least, that had been my reaction to the first two or three dozen. Now, I merely grew more and more worried with each hour. Every hallway I trotted down was another opportunity to find him dead. Every intersection was another possible wrong choice. The prison layer would take me days to search, even superficially. I had so little time.

I had checked everywhere I knew of, from the small nooks, to big, pony-made structures. Even the Duskbringer prison, in desperate need of assistance, held no trace of Silver.

As a last resort, I had checked the abandoned prison where we had fought the chimaera. Nothing.

Thus, I was reduced to wandering the corridors, hoping to stumble upon a new place to search.

My entire body ached. I had been walking for hours without finding a single trace of him. Nothing. Not a feather, nor a dagger. Just. Nothing. I was powerless. Couldn’t even find the one pony who had changed my life.

My mind was tired as well; what if I had passed him and not noticed? Would I need to redo my entire search? Maybe he was asleep somewhere, and would find me in the morning? I dared not hope. I had to keep searching.

Another intersection. Who in Luna’s name had laid out all these tunnels? Had she tried to create a maze, or did that merely emerge from her sheer incompetence? I stomped both front legs with enough force to wince from the pain.

My eyes landed on a signpost, and the world stopped. I had been here already. I dropped to my rump. I had been here already. Tears ran down my cheeks. I had come full circle. I had already searched either direction.

I fell to my stomach, clutching the back of my head with both hooves. I lay like this, crying, for Mother knew how long. Why did everything have to go so wrong? Why did the universe hate me? What had we all done to deserve this?

These thoughts all rang out in a horrible cacophony of my mind, quieting down with every tear shed, until there was nothing but my sniffles, echoing through the empty tunnel.

Only when a shiver broke my pathetic lament did I realise how badly I needed to rest. I was in no condition to keep looking; physically, mentally, or emotionally. If Silver was still out there, he would probably hold out long enough to survive.

If not, it was too late already. I needed to come back with a clear mind and plan.

Yet my worries refused to ebb and continued to torture me over the hour it took me to return to my room. It was morning already.

---

I rubbed my eyes as I stepped into Aurora’s mansion. I had barely slept, if at all, and was paying the price for it. Several cups of tea later, here I was. Somewhat awake, but so very exhausted.

I checked the living room; the maid had cleaned it, and moved Aurora to her room. I continued towards Silver’s room, each step only worrying me further. I had not returned here yesterday—well, earlier today. A clear mistake, in hindsight. Knowing my luck, he was back in his bed, snoozing peacefully. Yet the knot in my stomach refused to yield unless I saw it for myself.

I gave the door a gentle knock. My heart sank further with each second, until I finally gathered the courage to push it open. The room was empty. A chill ran down my spine.

Stars above, something had happened to him!

Tears were beginning to well up. Damn it, I’d wasted so many hours trying to sleep. I should have kept looking! Stupid filly.

No time for that. Silver was missing, and only one pony could help me.

I turned around, rushed up the stairs, and dashed to Aurora’s room, in the middle of the first floor. I knocked, entered, and found her sleeping on her bed, the carpet next to it soaked with vomit.

I refused to let disgust stop me, and I cantered forward, careful to avoid the puddle. Then, I dropped my spell, clearing my throat. She did not react.

“Aurora,” I said.

She stirred.

“Aurora!” I shouted.

She groaned.

When she rolled onto her other side, I poked her ribs. “Get up, Aurora, it’s an emergency.”

“Go away, my head hurts. Go talk to Witherbloom.” Her second-in-command. He did not know me.

“Auntie…” I started, unsure if I wanted my tone to be threatening or pleading.

She turned on her back, looking at me. “Oh, it’s you. Whadayaneed?”

Her breath still stank enough to make me flinch, despite the distance between us. I shielded my nose with a leg. “Silver is missing. I need your help to find him.”

She blinked at me a few times. “Why do you need him?” she slurred, but before she reached the end of the sentence, her eyes went wide. “Sweet Sun.” She jumped out of bed. Her balance impressed me, considering her state, but begged a question: Would she even be able to help me?

She pressed her eyes shut, shook her head, and swayed. “Give me a moment. Can you wait for me downstairs?”

I nodded, and did as told. Thankfully, it only took her a few minutes to come down. She had haphazardly brushed her coat, and the perfume she wore overpowered any other smells. In other circumstances, I might have dared a joke.

Aurora waved for me to follow her, and the two of us left through her front door.

“So, any idea where Silver could be?” I asked.

She shook her head. “I… He tried to talk to me yesterday. Tried to get me to do something about… about…”

“About Father?”

She gulped and nodded. “I tried to explain to him how dangerous it would be to try and stand up to the viscount. But Silver didn’t care…”

My entire body froze; a rock landed in my stomach. Through sheer willpower, I opened my mouth. “Then… if he’s not back…”

She nodded again, unable to hold my gaze. “Things are grim indeed.”

I fell to my haunches. “Sweet Celestia, what do I do?”

Aurora barely flinched at my choice of words. She gulped. “Maybe… maybe he just didn’t make it home for some other reason. We shouldn’t lose hope.”

Why did she care? She had not even lifted a hoof to help him. He was gone because of her!

No. Thinking like that would solve nothing. If, and only if, we found concrete evidence of his death, then I could blame her. Until then, I needed to believe.

“It’s all my fault.” Aurora sighed, coming to a stop. “Silver was right. I should have known when he started clutching his head. I should have done something! Should have guessed.”

I blinked. “Who, Silver?”

“No, your father. I think… I think he lost control.” She grimaced, gritted her teeth, then sighed. “He’s not a nice pony by any stretch, but he isn’t the type to mindlessly rampage. He may not show it, but he does value life. Even if he didn’t… he would be aware his actions have consequences for The Tower.”

“Lost control? How is that possible?” The stupid question escaped me before I could even think it through. I knew what she meant.

“I don’t know!” She stomped with both hooves. As her voice echoed in the tunnel, she covered her mouth. “I’m sorry, I just… I don’t know. The Archknight rituals are heavy on the soul. It’s the reason why all the other Archknights have been sealed.” She grimaced. “I just always believed it was for their sake; to give them peace. Not to shield us from them.”

“I know that…” I grimaced. “I just… I do not know how it can already be so bad. I thought we had decades, perhaps even centuries.”

“I’m… I’m so sorry, Arawn.” Her voice quivered, tears pearling in her eyes.

I met her gaze with a rueful little smile. “It’s all right, Auntie. None of this is your fault, and I already knew I would have to seal him sooner or later.” I feigned surprisingly little of my solemn composure.

Aurora watched me for a few moments, lips twisted and brows knitted, before shaking her head and resuming our journey.

Somehow, in the face of sealing my own father away for all eternity, I remained collected. Did I even love him? Or had I grown tired of him after I began living for myself? Perhaps I truly had come to terms with the idea.

Or maybe the opposite was true: I yet failed to grasp the severity of the situation. Though I had seen many corpses littering the lower layers, and though I knew my father had been their killer, part of me refused to accept it.

Enough thinking. The answers would come in due time, and any further contemplation would bring naught but headaches. “By the way, where are we headed?”

“The emergency morgue,” Aurora replied without turning around. “There is a place between the prison and the serf layers designated for situations like these.” Her ears flattened against her skull, and she needed a few moments before continuing, “It’s never seen any use in my lifetime, but if the Knights have been following protocol, they will have gathered all corpses there for identification and cremation.”

---

Shade was dead.

Nothing could change that simple reality. She had been found in the upper prison layer. Had she been there on orders from her House, or at my behest?

I might have caused her death. Had I not asked her to investigate some of the rebel families, she might have avoided Father.

Shade was dead, killed by my own father.

Even if her owners were the reason for her presence in the prison layer, I remained the cause for my father’s break. Had I not requested Aurora talk to him, Shade would be alive. Had I stepped out of hiding as he attacked Aurora, Father would have calmed down.

Though I had intended none of this outcome, I yet held the responsibility.

Shade was dead because of me.

Everything blurred. Because of me. My ears rang. Because of me. My head spun. Because of me. The edges of my vision darkened. Every shaky breath I took felt shallower than the last as my mind repeated this thought again and again.

I pressed my eyes shut. I had to calm down. I had to find Silver. He was still out there, probably still alive. My entire body relaxed, only for my guts to tie into a knot. I had caused a friend’s death, yet I could only think about Silver.

Shade was dead, and I was relieved that somepony else might yet live.

Shade had listened to me, given me advice, and supported me, yet here I was: happy that she had died, and not Silver.

Disgusting. Vile. Selfish.

Aurora stepped out of the room, staring at her hooves. A knight had asked her for orders while we walked through the rows upon rows of corpses. I had finished my search, and only now did Aurora catch up to me.

I released my invisibility, stood up, and met her gaze. She tried to say something, but her hollow eyes told me everything.

I dared not ask. I knew the answer. She had found him. Yet I clung onto hope. “Have you… have you seen him?”

She shook her head. My heart sank, then my mind caught up, and my body sighed as it relaxed.

When Aurora shot me a glare, it struck me again. I was a horrible pony. Over a thousand ponies had died, yet I only thought about a colt I liked. Nopony as heartless as me deserved to rule.

Aurora’s eyes softened. “Let’s… let’s go back to my mansion and take a break. We need to reflect, and I need a drink.”

I blinked at her for a few long moments. Take a break? Silver was in danger, and she wanted to take a break? Ponies were dead, and alcohol still plagued her mind? My heart thundered in my chest and ears. My neck grew hot.

She wasn’t even looking at me. I burst. “A drink‽ You need a fucking drink‽”

She stumbled away from me and fell on her rump. “I… I just—”

“Just what? What in Twilight Sparkle’s name are you thinking? Ponies need you, and you just… you just want to get drunk again!” I hissed, furious and disgusted. “I thought I was being heartless and self-centred, but you just had to eclipse me, didn’t you‽”

“I… I…” Any moment, she would break down crying like the worthless hag she was. Any moment, she would fly away and find the nearest bottle. Any moment, she would disappoint me again.

But she did not. She swallowed a sob, took a deep breath, and, in a quiet, yet steady voice, said, “You’re right. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

I opened my mouth to scream at her again, but the look in her eyes deflated my fury. Sadness mixed with determination, level-headed, yet compassionate. At that moment, I saw the mare who had earned her place as the Captain of the Knights.

The captain gave me a weak smile. “I insist on taking the break, though.”

I gaped at her. “What? Why?” My tail flicked. “You left your bed an hour ago, and I do not need a break! Silver is somewhere out there, and—”

She shut me up with a look. “Wherever he is, a half hour won’t make a difference anymore. You look like you haven’t slept all night, and we need to formulate a real plan. We should both take time to clear our thoughts and breathe a little. In the long run, it will help much more than forcing yourself.”

My ears wilted, and I found myself staring at the ground. “I can’t relax if I know my only remaining friend is in trouble…”

Aurora lifted my muzzle with her hoof, offering a brittle smile. “I know, but you have to try.”

I swallowed, somehow on the brink of tears. “All right,” I muttered.

Aurora turned around and started walking back up. “I have a special blend for moments like these. It’ll help.”

---

It was raining outside. Selena lifted her cup off the marble table. “Hello, Arawn.”

I managed to meet her sad eyes with a solemn nod, then leaned down to smell my tea. Chamomile. How I despised chamomile. I took a sip nonetheless.

Selena set down her cup. “How are you?”

How was I? What a stupid question! One of my two friends was dead, and the other one was probably dead. How dare—

A single glance into her sorrowful eyes deflated any indignation. I sighed. “I don’t know… I just don’t know.” The last word caught in my throat. Hot tears streamed down my cheeks, and I slammed my hooves onto the marble table. “I don’t know what to do! I don’t know what to think! And I don’t know what to feel!”

For a while, Selena merely nodded, quiet as the night surrounding us. “Nightshade did not deserve this,” she finally said. “Neither did any of the other victims.”

“Then why the fuck did it happen‽” I grimaced, my anger melting as quickly as it had sprung up. “I do not understand. I knew life is unfair, but, but…” Ears wilting, I stared at the marble table.

“But there is a difference between knowing something, and actually experiencing it, isn’t there?”

I stared at her gentle smile for a never-ending moment, before breaking down crying. Why, just why? “And Silver… He was the b-best pony I ever knew. All he ever wanted was to help others. And now… now… now he’s dead!”

It hurt so bad. I had been trying to keep hope until now, but I could deny it no longer. He was dead. Just dead. Soon, the Knights would find his corpse. What would I do then? Would I—

“Silver is alive. I’ve talked to him.” I blinked. Her voice lacked any malice, any deception, any jest. Yet I could not believe it. I blinked. “He made a foolish decision, but he is alive. Uninjured, too.”

“How do you know this?” Immediately after I opened my mouth, pieces started to slide into place. “I am asleep, am I not?” Selena hummed in response, brow raised and eyes wide. “But you are not part of my dream, are you? And you are telling the truth.”

Selena nodded. My entire body relaxed, and I slumped onto the table, as if only worry had kept me together. Silver was alive. Safe.

“I am surprised,” said Selena. Arching a brow, I looked up at her. “Most ponies only start to recognise the pattern after years of my visits.”

“I think it is due to your magic.” I sniffled. “It feels similar to how I cast mine.”

“Ah. I should have known. I suppose it was part of why I avoided you for so long.”

“Just who are you?” I asked, but immediately understood the foolishness of the question. I knew. Speaking her very name was blasphemy to most ponies. “Better question. What are you?”

Luna met my gaze with a rueful smile. “I am a goddess. A dead one.”

I stared at her, my eyebrows knitting together and ears slowly perking up. “Of course,” I said like it was obvious, though it made no sense to me. What else? Questions rushed to my mind, piling up quicker than I could keep up. “At the risk of sounding stupid… if you are dead, then how are we talking?” Shade would love to hear about this.

I winced.

“I have always been able to talk to ponies in their dreams. When I died, I found that the Land of the Dead is nothing but an endless sea of dreams conjured up by unchanging souls, ever frozen.”

I furrowed my brow. It made all too much sense. “And The Tower bridges the gap between the Land of the Living and that of the Dead.”

Luna nodded. “Precisely.”

We sat in silence for a long while, barely enjoying our tea; I, scrambling to organise my thoughts, she, patiently waiting.

I cleared my throat. “So, you talk to everypony in The Tower, and we somehow forget you ever existed?”

“To be exact, I suppress your memories. I fear the knowledge of my existence would only lead to conflict and destabilise The Tower.”

“I see. Is this mere entertainment for you?” Despite my attempt to sound genuine, my voice held a sardonic edge. My tail flicked.

Luna’s smile faltered, and she sighed, then shook her head. “I know it may seem like it, but please believe me: I only seek to help. I never fully suppress the memories of ponies’ conversations with me, such that they remember the conversation, but do not remember having it.”

“I… see.” I took a sip of tea to give myself the time to find the right words. “Would you be willing to tell me where Silver is, and allow me to remember it in the morning?” I squinted. Morning? But I hadn’t— “She drugged me! She made me fall asleep!”

Luna had to hold back a laugh as she swallowed her tea, before setting down her cup. “I believe she only gave you something to slow down your mind. You fell asleep all on your own. You would not be able to dream if you had been drugged.”

Any mirth disappeared from her face, and she sighed. “Before I tell you about Silver, I need you to promise me one thing.”

Awfully ominous. “That depends on your terms, but I am listening…”

“Please, leave The Tower when you have the chance. Leave it to its rightful owner, and let somepony else handle it.”

“What? I am the rightful owner.” We shared a look. “Fine. Perhaps that is not entirely true, but if I leave, many ponies will die.”

“And none of it is your fault. You should not have to pay the price for the foolishness of your ancestors.” Under her pleading gaze, my ears wilted alongside my conviction. “Please, leave. Take Silver with you and live a happy life. Let me at least save two children from the horrors of this place.”

I gulped. If only it was as simple as that. “I… I will think about it. I swear I will consider it.” The idea was tempting, but hidden behind many thorns. “But I cannot promise any more.”

Luna sighed. “I thought as much. I will tell you all I know about Silver, but he has not gone back to sleep yet. I have little clue where he could be right now.”