Return to Equestria

by David Silver

30 - Wishing You Could Disappear.

“I am a fully grown mare!” Gloomy suddenly huffed, then continued with verbal venom. “Officers, I have a meeting to attend with my contractual employers concerning my… two… magical talking dolls. I can provide ID inside the building. That is not my aunt.”

Joypad coughed softly to herself, but did not interject herself in the ongoing legal matter. "We do have a meeting in there." She turned away from it all to head inside, but didn't march away from it.

David remained still, watching silently with little fidgets of his fingers.

“They claim to have legal documentation, Madame.” The nearest guard to the mare pointed out. “And the filly says you are not her aunt?”

They were ponies. They were soft and fuzzy and, overall, friendly. They wouldn't hurt him, even if he looked very strange to them. They were more scared of him than he was of them.

Which was part of the problem. Be still, be cool. The issue would blow over. Just… be cool.

Joypad peered at the 'aunt' suspiciously. "You happy now? Can we go?" She had no fear of the pegasus police. "Back Story must be wondering where we went off to."

“You’re scaring him!” Ocellia glowered at the guards, flexing her plushy elytra to make herself more intimidating in the cutest way possible.

"I'm fine," lied David. Lying about how fine he was being a long tradition. "Um… anything else, sir?"

“David, it’s cool man.” Ragdoll inclined his head from his newfound perch on Gloomy’s beret. “They are not gonna hurt you.” He turned his eyes on the mare. “Did you really think I wouldn’t recognize you?"

"What's cool?" Was he that obvious? Maybe being half pony was rubbing off on him. The wrong half of him was pony for that! But the rules didn't have to work that way. It bothered him, which made him frown instead of being passive at least.

The mare and the ragdoll locked eyes in a contest of glares. Ragdoll spoke in a snarling tone. “Officers, if you will follow us inside, we can all provide proof that we are all exactly who we saw we are. That mare just tried to involve you in a foal napping.”

“Do you honestly think they can stop me at this point.” The mare sneered and floated a glass pipe and butane lighter to her mouth inhaling the fumes from a rainbow crystal as the guards watched in shock at her brazen change in demeanor. She continued after a coughing spree. “Celestia's great white flank I needed that… One second… I just needed you and the filly in the same place.”

The mare without a name was practically right on top of them without bothering to cross the space in between. Ragdoll didn’t even blink. Mostly because his eyes were just buttons, sewn into his head. “OC, sweetie… honey… I know you prefer your internet handle, but could you kindly tell this nice mare your real name? Your FULL real name.”

“O-okay, Uncle Cornelius…” The ladybug/pony plushy smiled at the menacing mare. “I’m Princess Ocellia Diane Pastel. Pleased to meet you?”

The blue mare shuffled back in near panic. “This isn’t over.” She hissed before she ceased to exist altogether.

Casually ignoring the rules of space startled David out of whatever shut down state he had been in. The mare wasn't the only thing to vanish, the human ceasing to be without warning or much of a sound other than the momentary sparkle before it happened if anyone was watching him, which a convenient distraction made unlikely.

Joypad raised a brow at the empty spot the mare had been in. "So… That officially gets us off the hook, right? We can go?" She hadn't even noticed the vanishing just yet.

“We’re going to have to get statements from the ponies inside, Ma’am,” a young guard colt replied. "And we may need contact information for follow-up questions, but you're free to go about your business. Have a nice day, Ma’am”

“You okay? Buddy?” Rag Doll turned to where David just was. “Holy Shit! Where the hell is David?!?!?”

That the door of the tower was opening and closing wasn't odd, ponies were coming and going regularly. One police officer or not, there was business to do, and pausing to gawk at it wasn't in the cards, even if a few clicks of digital cameras happened on the way.

Joypad wheeled about to the empty spot. "The hay! Ugh." She started for the building. "There's only one place he could have gone. Stupid magic…"

“You figure he just magically noped himself inside?” Rag doll, Ocellia, and gloomy trailed behind the earth pony.

"Can't think of another place." Joypad hopped through the self-opening door. "That or he exploded. That'd suck, so let's hope not tha--Ahh!" She jumped in place, wheeling about. "Wha--?"

Gloomy ran squarely into the panicked pony, jostling the two plush dolls riding on her back. Ragdoll peered over the filly’s oversized hat. “Hey what’s the hold u…ohhh… that.”

Joypad made shooing motions, guiding everypony, and doll, towards the family bathroom. Why did so many ponies need a family bathroom? Hush up. One does not ask about the family bathroom. "Quick quick."

“What?” Gloomy and Oceilia echo in harmony as Ragdoll echoed in surprise.

“Da Fuq was that, Joy?!?!” The doll yelled.

Joy fell against the door with her hooves. "You can talk now."

"I can see that," came David's voice from the air. "So, hey. Turns out I can't maybe use any magic ever whenever I want."

“Are you stuck in a spell Mr. David?” Gloomy asked the unseen voice in a surprisingly sympathetic tone. “That’s happened in Bridlewood a lot. Unicorns have magic, but we don’t really know how it works…. That’s how we both got this way…”

"Pretty sure I'm invisible."

Joypad raised a brow at the source. "Well, do whatever you… did… backwards? You stopped being invisible before. Do that again!"

"Easy to say." It was so much easier to not want to be seen.

“I could try to narrate you out of it,” Ragdoll replied with a scratch of his head, “but that’s kinda risky, at this point. I’d rather not risk the wrath of the Texts again… Maybe a plan ‘b’, though…”

“Usually when a unicorn gets stuck in a spell they just have to wait till it wears off,” Gloomy stated flatly. “Like that time I got stuck holding a bottle of fizzy grape soda a foreleg’s length from my head for an hour and a half.”

"Well, that isn't so bad." Like that just fixed everything. "I can wait. But the execs aren't likely to be happy to have their human back that they can't see. Hard to use for promotions that way."

Joy swatted and missed, batting at the air. "Sweet mercy! You have bigger problems than worrying about their problems. If it'll wear off, good. We just need to relax and let that happen."

“Oh!” Ocelia reared up on her back four hooves and clapped her front plushy hooves excitedly. “Can I ride on your back and flap my elytra so it looks like I’m flying ‘till it wears off?”

"I don't know who you are." This did not stop David from casually picking up the plush with unseen hands. "But up you go, fwoosh." He made flying noises without prompting or delay, swooshing Ocelia around in slow arcs in the process.

Joy set her hooves down. "I'll go find Back Story and explain what's going on."

“Whee!” The little lady-bug-pony-plushy squealed with delight.

“I see you’ve been busy.” Gloomy raised an eyebrow while addressing Ragdoll.

“Yeah…” Ragdoll chuckled. “Looks like we both have.”

“You’re the best, Mr. David!” Ocelia pumped her plushy hoof for emphasis.

"Just David works." David walked around the bathroom, zooming Ocelia in the process. "You're good at flying. You don't even need my help." Not that he was stopping the help, or the soaring.

Joy chuckled softly at the sight. "Adorable. Alright, on the case." She grabbed the handle with her hoof and pulled it open, slipping out.

As soon as Joy slipped out Ragdoll blurted out in an even tone. “Just so ya’ll know, she is not a magical talking doll.”

“Uncle Cornelius!” Ocellia gasped in shock. “You said you’d keep the secret!”

“I am OC, and sometimes to keep a secret you need backup.” The doll pantomimed heaving a heavy sigh. “We’re gonna slip up, and when you slip up you need friends to cover for you.”

"That's two for two." David did not sound overly surprised. "Are they also a human? Sloppy." Not that this paused Super Fun Airplane Time.

“Fine if were going to do this…” In a sudden wash of pink magic David was suddenly not holding a ladybug-pony plushy, but a small ladybug-pony, crossing her top four arms petulantly.. “I’m an underling.”

“They’re like changelings, but smaller and more… buggy. I met her family, and trust me they are terrifying.” Ragdoll responded. “Wait… two for two?”

Of all the bugs in the word, ladybugs were not one of the ones that triggered David. Ladybugs were cute. Ponies were cute. Ladybug ponies? Still cute! The airplane motions did not stop for the reveal, even if he gave a 'huh' of surprise. And he was visible. No fanfare or todo, just he was. "Woah, huh, take two… Nice."

“Yay! Progress!” Ocellia through all her hooves in the air in celebration, then flashed back into her plushy form. Then took a serious tone. “Me and a lot of the under-squeaks want to make contact with the surface. Mom and my brother Frank think that ponies are still too intolerant to accept us. But when my brothers found The Ragdoll, I saw my chance.”

“She only asked for a path to lead her to the surface,” Ragdoll admitted, rolling his noodly hoof. “The “Village of the Misfit Toys was just the best cover we could come up with while spelunking around for days underground.” He made a heavy ‘sighing’ noise wishing he had actual lungs to sigh with. He really needed a good sigh. “Zephyr Heights has shoggoth in their sewers by the way…”

“Those were Oobleck, Uncle!” Ocellia corrected the actual doll.

“I know a shoggoth when I see one.” Ragdoll countered.

David set the ladybug plush down gently and patted her on the head. "No offense, but you are cute." A label he could apply to many denizens of that world, from his view. "And now that I'm not see-through, we should probably catch up with the others?" Monsters in the sewers were clearly far from his thoughts.

“Right, stay focused!” Ragdoll pounded one noodle hoof into the other. “We need to explain to our gravy train why their human is half pony and their talking doll’s care-taker looks like a school filly all of a sudden.”

“And we need to get some papers to prove I’m an adult.” Gloomy added.

"Is 'adult' a thing?" David opened the door for everyone else, waving them through. "Like what can an 'adult' do that a foal can't, legally speaking?"

Joypad frowned as she headed out of the room. "Um… What their parents tell them not to do?"

"And if they don't have those?" That ponies had no orphans wouldn't be a terrible place to be, David quietly reasoned, but surely…

“They would have some kind of legal guardian,” Gloomy reasoned. “And you have to be an adult to hold a lease.”

"They have leases?" David closed the door after the group had left. "Huh. Well, let's go."

Joypad accelerated to the fore, the pointed tip of the formation to the elevator. "Hope Back kept waiting for us."

“Welp, lets all go to the meeting!” Ragdoll pointed forward from his perch on Gloomy’s beret.

“Remember the plan this time, Charlie!” The gray filly admonished her rider. “I do the talking.”

“Can I do some talking too?” Ocelia scuttled excitedly. “I love talking, just ask anyone!”

Author's Note:

You've had that feeling before, right?

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Comments

[Booster Spice]

Some Text is trying to make a point, while subtly aiming next time it might be a bullet Point?

Wonder is Ocelus a common name, normal name, honorific or title?

[No one is home]

11273789
It is a completely normal name I pulled from a baby name sight. :D And they totally did not run into the Smooze in their solo adventures....

[Amethyst Dragonfly]

“We’re going to have to get statements from the ponies inside, Ma’am,” a young guard colt replied, and we may need contact information for follow-up questions, but you're free to go about your business. Have a nice day, Ma’am”

Missing double quote mark

replied, "and we may need

[David Silver]

11281839
Fixed! Not my typo!