She appeared as if from nowhere, a dark shadowed figure full of dread magic. Shining Armor and Cadance scowled with apprehension, but her attention was on the _other_ shadowy overlord that stood before her. Only one could remain.
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Don’t worry about it being a day late. Your personal life always takes priority over this. Still I hope Umbra will not take her studies too far and over do it.
i have a quick question...
You don't need to answer if you don't know/want but is this gonna be a Romance story or does this crystal heart thing end?
I don't really care much but wanted to just ask
11066647
It's got slice of life and adventure and romance.
Basically it's your typical isekai, really.
the female version of sir is ma'am. the guards are misgendering her. I suggest a correction. Miss is also an acceptable substitute
Edit: yeah put your health first, just glad to see ya again
11066753
Tweaked, for the better I think.
– Hello, stranger stallion! I need a teacher to learn dark and evil and forbidden magic that was used by dark and evil witch-king to enslave this kingdom.
– Oh, hello, stranger mare! I have just the book you need, what a coincidence! And I'll happily borrow it to you and won't have any concerns or ask any questions or report you to authorities! May you learn that dark and evil and forbidden magic successfully!
11066803
This sounds entirely in character for this universe.
So in this continuity was Sunburst always in the Crystal Empire, like before it was sealed 1000 years ago? If that's so, then how would his and Starlight's childhood relationship work then?
11066771
"Sir." A guard standing at the stairs nodded at her as she was coming closer.
"Hey, ma'am." She walked past him, just to pause. "Say, have people been talking about me?"
"Hm? Only good things, sir."
LMAO. mixed the characters up
11066832
No no, he arrived some time after the big festival and the return of the crystal heart.
Just as in normal canon, no shifts there.
Hmmm... if Umbra continue to stay here... does this mean she would automatically become Flurry's nanny?
Purple Polish sounds nice, wonder if Cadence or shining was behind her appearance or if it was her own decision
Near the end of the scene with Shifting, her name was misspelled as Shidting, and then she got replaced with Shining in the next paragraph.
11067426
Or it's disguised Chrysalis!
11066814
Before that episode ponies had more brain. Maybe add some plausable explanation to Sunburst's actions? And deepen his character a bit, if it's ok with you.
11067651
People keep telling me to not 'tell' everything, but that rarely pans out.
Sunburst's perspective:
New to town.
Hero of town everyone's been talking about, who defeated the big bad shadow boss, shows up!
She needs magic help.
But not magic casting help!
She just wants a book! Maybe he can actually help?! Invites her over to tea, makes idle chat.
Okay okay! Can't make her wait too long. Here's the book I just 'found!' (I knew where it was the entire time).
Tell me again, logically, why SHOULD he be upset that The Shadow Slayer is seeking The Shadow Magic book?
11067500
Typos sent off into the snow to meet their icy fate.
11067648
Oh god Chrysalis would have to be stupid to try that considering she'd be around Cadence and Shining constantly
11067878
Oh, but she is! Look at her plan "enslave everypony to make them livestock": the "milk" she wanted is love, but who would love slavers? So, yeah, Chryssi is pretty stupid.
Umbra. You closed the window.
You get back and it's open.
Gonna wave this red flag here for ya... 🚩
11077036
The maid opened it. She had the room ready, before Umbra got there.
Love your attention to detail, though. I love some underhandedness and intrigue in stories.
A personal servant can help with a lot of common knowledge and problem solving.
Nice chapter
A fellow mare? Time to ask about 'do and don't'.
Hygienic and social.
Maybe some paybacks when Cadance and Shining Atmor are going for it again 👍