Twilight Buys a Wand

by Kentavritsa

An Epiphany: 7

Author's Note:

Pinkie Pie's POV

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Previous Chapter: Dumbledore

Next Chapter: Astronomy under the Sun

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“Divination one oh one?” I ponder; ”They want me to be a Deity?” I then consider.

”Twilly, Twilly; they intend to make me into a proper Deity, on par with Celestia and Discord!” I exclaim, as I see my purple friend trotting into the room.

”Divination, but why do you even need to take the class?” she inquires; ”Aside from learning, how these things work here, of course!” she concludes.

”The return of Madam Pinkie, and her seven divine Crystal Balls!” I exclaim.

”I will never live that down, in a million years; all assuming, I even live that long..” she points out.

”Oh, but you will; trust me, Twilly, you will!” I explain; ”Just like Discord, Celestia and Luna; you are no mere Mortal, your essence is finely woven into the very essence of existence!” I continue, grimly but to the point.

“I will?” Twilight inquires, not exactly believing; let alone expecting an answer, even if a response is known to be forthcoming.

“I do remember the event, silly Twilly; but then, I can’t forget anything and you already knew that!” I point out.

“However, I believe our fellow students will be opening the door in a moment!" I point out, only for the door to go up as I am finishing the statement.

“Wait, what?” Hermione inquires.

“This is Divination, remember?” Twilight groans with a snicker.

“Thank you, Twilight!” she responds; “At least, I know I did not make a wrong turn or open the wrong door!” she then continues.

“I know, I know; that would have been embarrassing, and for you of all students, Hermione?” I tease.

“By the way, Twilly; I hope you will enjoy the company of a fellow Bookworm..” I offer; “or, is it a Bookhorse in your case, Herm?” I elaborate.

“Yes; I do love all my books, Pinkie!” Twilight submits, if just with a bit of embarrassment on her voice; “But alas, did you have to put it quite that way?” she then inquires with some irritation.

“Hiya, Whinny!” I exclaim, as the girl enters the room.

“Hi, Pinkie!” Whinny responds.

“Herm?” Hermione inquires; “and Book Horse?” she follows up, with just a single breathe in between.

“Yes, Hermione..” Twilight responds; “but I guess I can grasp the confusion, in your case; I doubt she referred to Hermaphrodite, it is just her habit of referring to her friends in Diminutive form..” Twilight explains, snickering in a momentary tirade of infinite merriment.

“What Pinkie means, is that Twilight literally lives in a library..” Rarity points out; “She has next to unlimited access to almost every book back home!” she then elaborates.

“Just call her the Princess of Books?” Dash suggests.

“Princess of Books?” Hermione inquires, now giggling at the insane title.

“I could as well admit?” Twilight concedes, albeit quite reluctantly.

By now, all the students expected to turn up had entered the small classroom.

The next moment, the teacher is entering the room, exploring the room; in search to see each of her students, not quite recognizing everyone.

“This will be a very interesting year!" she merely mumbles to herself.

“Time for the show..” I exclaim, and the next instant I am in the garb of Madam Pink.

“This is the class of divination, and I am your teacher, Sybill Trelawney!” the teacher is presenting herself, to the entire class.

The aforementioned seven crystal balls appear on my desk before me; I pick them up one by one, juggling them in the standard fashion for a moment.

Before I have the time to change the pattern, I feel my tail wriggle and shake; indicating something is about to fall, and the next instant they all dropped their jaws in utter shock.

It is not just in how I juggle the seven crystal balls; but how each of the balls are showing an individual premonition, moving in real time as if it had been a projection of a moving picture.

“Yes, Sybill; I know how you hate us to touch these precious balls, with our bare hands..” I just utter in the face of the teacher, before she had the time to utter a single word; “I know, I know!” I then proclaim.

“My name is Pinkamena Diane Pie, but call me Pinkie..” I explain; “but for the moment; I am madam Pinkie!” I then conclude my presentation.

“There, she said it..” Rarity offers, quietly in a fairly Lady-like fashion.

“What in Merlin’s beard..” Sybill just groans; “Not only do you juggle these seven crystal balls as if it had been easy; but you have the audacity of showing not just one premonition, but seven at once?” she now concedes.

“Technically, she has produced eight..” Twilight points out matter-of-factly; “but I feared you missed that..”most likely on the count of not recognizing her deliberately unconscious style of divination!” she concludes.

The Patronus Twilight is picking up a deck of Tarot cards, shuffling it, before she starts dealing. Her companion Sparkles just snickers; watching the event.

“This should be interesting..” Sparkles utter, glancing at the new teacher named Sybill.

“I just hope, I do not have to predict the end of the world..” Twilight mumbles.

“This is the class of divination, not Charms!” Sybill proclaims.

“I know, I know..”Twilight points out; “We are just setting the stage for a prediction..” Sparkles explains.

“Wait, what..” Sybill utters, taken aback by the response.

“Since I am not an Animagus, you concluded I am a Patronus?” Twilight clarifies; “Let me dispel your notions, right there!” Sparkle exclaims, breathing fire in the general direction of the teacher, before abruptly casting a spell; lighting her horn, to channel the mana.

“Whoa..” Sybill exclaims, thrown back by the sheer scope of the presentation alone.

“Elemental, dear Sybill!” I snicker; “But don’t tickle her curiosity, the wrong way; or you will have a Rapidash to deal with in an instant!” I explain.

“What?” Dash inquires.

“She can be a bit explosive, and can turn into a full on fire-daemon..” Sparkles explain.

“What are people, around here; do they know exactly nothing?” Twilight inquires.

“And here I thought, my Twins were a pain; I stand corrected, they are childs’ play!” Ron Weasely concedes, despite himself, as he peers at his younger sister Whinny.

“I thought my sister’s name is Ginny, and she should be in the next year; but why does the girl named Whinny look exactly like my younger sister?” Ron ponders.

“Ron, your sister Whinny will be the finest Witch in the family of Weaslys!” I merely points out, addressing him out of turn.

“Wait, what?” Ron exclaims, as if he had been caught with a hand in the cookie-jar.

“How can you even juggle seven crystal balls, and have focus enough to even manage one divination; let alone seven of them, while maintaining a conversation?” he exclaim.

“She could have been juggling a hundred Dementors, and still have enough focus to manage a dozen conversations, each complex enough to save your life effortlessly!” Twilly explains.

“You don’t juggle Dementors, they kill you before you even get close!” Ron points out.

“That never stopped Pinkie before..” Twilly declares, mater-of-factly in a droling deadpan.

“Dementors is no laughing matter, you don’t joke about it!” Sybill Points out, sternly.

“Am I laughing, or even snickering?” I inquire.

“No..” Sybill concedes.

“On a different note, I believe there is a room in the basement; currently being filled up with spheres, containing my divinations..” I enlighten the room.

The next instant, a Ponyta is standing in the place where the teacher known as: Sybill Trelawney had been standing. There is a collective gasp, as the only reaction. The room is still, nothing more is happening.

“Twilly; may I present your younger sister Sybill Trelany?” Twilight exclaims, with a flourish of her right hand, as she is indicating the Ponyta previously known as the Teacher of Divinations.

There is a gasp, and every student is guffawing their lungs out onto the floor in pure shock. The display had simply been too much for them to handle; but who could have blamed them, considering the situation.

I effortlessly change the pattern of crystal-balls I juggle; just as the door slams up, presenting the class with Severus Snape head of the Slytherin house.

“Greetings, Professor Severus Snape; welcome to Sybill Trelawney’s class of divinations!” I explain, matter-of-factly; without even missing the beat, as I manage the seven crystal-balls and the contained divinations.

“What..?” Snape just exclaims, lost for words and dumbfounded.

“The bane of your existence..” Twilight offers; “she is..” Sparkle continues.

“How could you keep the secret..” Twilight inquires; “When Madam Pinkie is on the loose!” Sparkle continues.

“Oh, but where is my manners?” Twilight inquires; “Snape, meet Ponyta; Ponyta, meet Snape..” Sparkle continues.

“And here I thought, the Weasley twins was a pain?” Snape ponders, standing frozen in place.

“You broke him, Madam Pinkie?” Rarity squeals, as the fainting couch appears conveniently, just before she is fainting, haplessly falling atop the aforementioned couch.

Meanwhile; Twilight and Sparkle continue the conversation, as they play the Twin-gig.

Noone listens, and noone cares; thus, none is stopping them, interfering.

Twilly abruptly teleport the currently defunct and unconscious Snape down to the infirmary, before a shocked Madam Poppy Pomfrey. A note lying on his chest, reading; He may require a memory Moderation, after an incident in the Divinations 101!”

“Maybe we should just finish the class?” I ponder.

“Nothing more is to be learned, at this point!” Sybill exclaims; the students file out, as best they can, in the current state and situation.

“Okay?” Twilly inquires; “That was enlightening!” she then continues, on her way out of the room.

The door slams shut, as if to put extra emphasis on the point that the class had indeed been concluded.

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Comments

[GhostCreator]

The author's note should be really on top.
I still don't know what is happening.

[Kentavritsa]

10971564
Thanks for mentioning it, guess I forgot to push that up to the top, should be fixed by now.
Madam Pinkie is happening, but with a bit of a chaotic flare.(if I could say so, myself)
10961502
A duel just may be cheduled, who's to say?
Oh, Madam Pinkie of course.

[ArlynntheDragon]

Sybill: GET THAT PINK MONTROSITY OUT OF MY CLASSROOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All in all, a great chapter, loved the PokeMon references, keep up the good work mellonin.

[Kentavritsa]

10972006
Madam Pinkie is a bit on the wild side, and Pinkie does leana bit heavily on the Element of Chaos here.
That refference is Obligatory in context. at least, it is how I read it.
Though I guess the Pink Antics, is a bit like Screaming in the Library or Cursing in the Church?

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Let us see, wha the next chapter has to offer the story?

[Rubae]

I am so confused as to what even happened in this chapter other than Pinkie juggling premonitions and Snape fainting from seeing whatever was happening

[Kentavritsa]

10981743
Pinkie Pie, is being Pinkie Pie is just in a day's work, isn't it?
Though I don't picture it as a day's work for Snape, watching Pinkie being Pinki?
(or juggling the crystal balls)

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On the other hand,I hope you will enjoy the next chapter, as it is just up.
Either way, if anything is confusing or something; just let me no, so I can address and deal with it.