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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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10918008
Yes, they are the same.
yes yes
Not a bad story so far. I have a few pointers though.
1. I noticed you got a lot of run-on sentences that go for way too long. Try to have a sentence contain only a single idea or action, and resist the urge to keep going.
2. Your dialogue is weak, and it seems as though you have a clear idea of what you need them to say but arent really adding much personality to it. We don't get much look at the personality of the dwarves through speech, which should be your secondary goal of all dialogue.
3. You use alot of "This happened, then this happened, then this happened." Try to have your actions flow into one another, describe the actual movements themselves, instead of "he helped the other dwarf then he grabbed his hammer, then he hit the monster."
All in all your doing great, and I like the unique world you've got. Keep it up!
P.S you also use months weirdly. Like they did something less then an hour ago like
That happened the same day. Did we miss a massive time skip? You also do this in the first chapter when hes working which is weird.
P.p.s Minor nitpick but its dwarves. Tolkien fought hard for his dwarves to use the v instead of f when pluralized.