Twilight, sister of Celestia

by Winona

Prolouge

“Okay, I sent the letter to Twilight Sparkle, Celestia.” Luna said sleepily. “May I rest, now?”

“Of course, Luna.” Celestia smiled.

Luna began to trot to her room, then she stopped in her tracks. Something bothered her. “Wait,”

“Yes?”

“What is so important that Twilight and her friends must come to all the way to Canterlot?”

Celestia looked at the ground. “I’ll tell you when I tell them.”

Luna became worried, but she knew Celestia would be fine. And normally, Luna would argue about Celestia keeping secrets from her, but she was much too sleepy. “Alright.”

Luna then walked slowly to her room to rest.

Celestia sighed as she stared out her window. She felt… sad for some reason.

________________________________________________________

Twilight Sparkle went through her checklist, smiling. As usual, she read it aloud to herself.

“Let’s see… I got more ink and parchment, check. I reorganized the books at the entrance of the library, check. I…”

Twilight gasped.

“I FORGOT TO GIVE RAINBOW DASH THE NEXT COPY OF “DARING DO”!!!” she screamed.

Just then, the cyan Pegasus walked in. Well, more like she flew in.

“Did somepony call my name?” she said proudly.

Twilight let out a sigh of relief. “Oh, Rainbow! I’m so sorry! I forgot to-”

Rainbow Dash cut her off. “Give me the next copy of Daring Do. I know, that’s why I came!”

Twilight still looked worried. “You’re not mad, are you?”

“Not at all! You have it, right?”

Twilight levitated the next book in front of her friend, and Rainbow grabbed it eagerly.

“THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!”

“Of course, Rainbow!” Twilight smiled.

Just then, a white scroll popped up in front of Twilight.

She gasped. “It’s a letter from Princess….”

Twilight looked at the ribbon that tied the scroll together. It was not the mark of Celestia. It was the mark of someone else!

“Luna?” She said as she stared at the “L” mark.

Twilight opened the scroll, and began to read. Rainbow flew up behind her and read, too. Rainbow was also intrigued. She had never heard of Twilight getting a letter from Princess Luna. She read with Twilight from behind.

Twilight read aloud:

“Twilight,

Celestia has impotant news! Gather up your frends and meet us at the grden at the castle in Cantrlot. She said yur friend Fluttersy might like that locaton. Not need to hury, though. I’m gonna take a quik nap. I’m really tird today.

Tak your time, Frm, Luna

P.S. Sory for speling errors that might be in thre. I’m a terible writer when I’m tired.”

Rainbow Dash laughed at Luna’s misspelling, meanwhile Twilight remained confused. What was so important?

“C’mon Rainbow Dash! I’ll get Pinkie and Applejack, you get Rarity and Fluttershy.”

Rainbow sighed and flew out the door, to the Spa. That’s where Rarity and Fluttershy would normally be at this time.

Meanwhile, Twilight woke up Spike, and then ran to Applejack’s barn, then to Sugarcube corner.

_________________________________________________________

After about an hour or so, Celestia saw the train arrive in front of the Castle. She could hear her student instructing the group.

“Okay, girls… and Spike, and Angel. Celestia said she would meet us in the garden.”

She smiled. Her student was so organized, although… often too involved in her studies. She was worse before, but still. She left her room to go to the garden. She had much to tell her student.
________________________________________________________

As the train came to a stop, Twilight and her friends exited. Twilight stood in front of them all.

“Okay, girls… and Spike, and Angel. Celestia said she would meet us in the garden.”

Fluttershy’s eyes widened. “G-Garden?!?!”

Twilight stared at her friend. “Why, yes Fluttershy. Celestia scheduled it there with you in mind!”

Fluttershy looked down in shame. “Oh, well… last time… I had a little problem with the animals…”

Fluttershy had a quick flashback of her scaring all the animals at the Gala.

Twilight’s eyes widened. She remembered. “Well, I suppose you can just wait outside. Isn’t that why you brought Angel? To keep you company?” Twilight nodded to the little white bunny on Fluttershy’s back.

Fluttershy turned to look at Angel, then spoke, “Oh, no! I brought little Angel because he broke his leg! He needs care, and I couldn’t just leave him at home!”

Twilight took a good look at the bunny, and saw that the white around his leg wasn’t fur, it was in fact a cast.

Twilight blushed. She wondered why Angel was staying put for the first time scince... ever! On the train she almost said 'Why does that patch of fur look different the the others?' She was glad she kept her mouth shut. She turned back to Fluttershy. “Oh, well… I can fix that!”

Fluttershy's eyes widened. “You can?”

Angel's ears suddenly perked up. He was soo bored not being able to move around.

“Yes! I’ve been working on a spell that will heal the injured!”

“Can you try it?”

“Of course!” Then Twilight mumbled, “Though he may end up with his leg cut off….”

Luckily, Fluttershy barely heard it. “What?”

Angel was too busy being excited to hear what Twilight had said.

“NOTHING!”

“Oh…”

“Just set Angel down over there.” Twilight nodded to a small bench.

Fluttershy brought Angel over to the bench and layed him down gently. “Okay, Angel. You need to stay VERY still!”

Angel nodded, he had been still all day. What was another 10 seconds? Especially if after those 10 seconds he could run again. Twilight walked over to Angel.

“Don’t move.” Twilight said, and her horn began to glow.

Angel was so excited, it was nearly impossible for him not to move. He managed, though. A large smile came upon his face. This was it. After nearly 6 hours. Twilight's horn was just an inch away. Unfortunatly for Angel, just then, Celestia walked in.

“Hello, Twilight, and hello to your friends!” she said happily.

Twilight’s eyes widened. Her teacher was there! If she didn’t do this spell perfectly, Celestia would be so disappointed! She stopped, and backed away from the bunny. Angel's mouth dropped. His ticket to freedom had left him! He was so close to running and jumping again! Thanks to that Princess, Angel was still immobilized.

“Celestia! Hello!” Twilight stood in front of Angel, trying to hide the problem.

"How are you all, my little ponies?" Celestia smiled.

'Thanks to you, I still have a broken leg.' Angel thought.

"Hiya, Princess! I'm doing great, thanks!" Spike smiled at the princess.

"That's wonderful, Spike!" Celestia smiled back. She then turned to the others. "And you all?"

"Just dandy, Princess!" Applejack responded.

"Lovely, thank you." said Rarity.

"Great!" said Rainbow.

"Perfect as Pie!" Pinkie giggled.

Fluttershy smiled. "I'm good, thank you. How are you today, Princess?"

"Wonderful, thank you Fluttershy!"

Fluttershy then turned to her friend, again. “Um, Twilight?”

'Oh no!' Twilight thought. 'Please don’t mention Angel! I can’t fail in front of Celestia!' Unfortunatly for Twilight, Fluttershy DID remind her.

“Are… you still going to help Angel?” she said quietly.

“Who is Angel?” said Celestia.

Fluttershy smiled, “Oh, he’s my pet bunny!”

“Where is you pet?”

Fluttershy turned to Twilight, who was still blocking Angel from Celestia’s sight. “Pardon me, Twilight… but could you step aside, please?”

"Oh! Uh... right..." Twilight blushed, and let out an embarrassed laugh. She stepped aside, and Celestia saw the poor bunny’s broken leg.

“Oh! Is he alright?”

Fluttershy smile grew even wider. “Oh, he’ll be fine! Twilight was just about to heal him!”

Celestia smiled too, and turned back Twilight. “Very good, my student! I am proud with your progress!”

Twilight blushed again, but she still hoped Celestia wouldn't stay while she performed the trick. “Thank you, Princess…” she tried to sound calm, but it was a bit hard for her. Luckily for Twilight, Celestia had to leave.

“Well,” began Celestia, “I shall leave you to heal the rabbit, Twilight Sparkle. Meanwhile, I must find Luna.” And with that, Celestia left.

Twilight let out a sigh of relief. Now, she could complete the spell in peace. “Alright, Angel. Sit still and I’ll fix that leg good as new!”

Twilight's horn began to glow.

Comments

[overlord-flinx]

H-How was this conclusion even drawn? How? Really, I want to know just... Really?

[Scribblestick]

Review time!

1) Your description looks good once you click on the story, but unfortunately it's a mess when seen on the front page. Since the description is the first impression people will get, it's vital that it look good on the front page. I know tons of people who will judge an entire story based on what they see in the description, both content-wise and grammar-wise, and as unfair as that seems, it works most of the time.

2) The beginning went by way too fast. Slow down and take your time. Describe the scenes and the characters. Let us know what the characters are thinking and feeling so the audience can establish a connection with them. Right now, the whole Angel subplot is taking over the story for precisely that reason.

3) Luna's bad grammar didn't really work for me. I know it was supposed to be funny, but it just came off as silly to me. Then again, it's like 2:30 in the morning right now, so I should probably go get some sleep instead of critiquing stories.

Anywho, I hope this helps! Good luck!

[Mr Ignorable]

1229023 I've stopped asking that question. And you should too. It saves braincells.

[CountDerpy]

will read when i get home...looks like it could be gooddl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Luna_lolface.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/lolface_Celestia.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Twilight_Sparkle_lolface.png

[Winona]

Thanks, ScribbleStick. I'll do some editing, and try to make sure it makes more sense, and try to describe everything more. This is my first story and I really appreciate the feedback.

To: Overlord-Flinx: I'll try to make more sense of it all, in the next chapter.

Sorry that it's one giant mess right now. I'll try to clean it up. Thanks for your advice!

[Winona]

Maybe I won't edit the prolouge, after all. Anyway, I'm putting up chapter 1, soon. I hope it's better than this one, because I tried to be more discriptive and make more sense. I appreciate the feedback, and again, I apologise for prolouge and opening being two giant messes. Thanks for the advice. I'm sorry for confusion, but this is my first story, and I haven't read a lot of others. I've favorited a lot, but I haven't read most of them, actually. I'm really sorry, I'm trying my best. I think the next chapter is far better, but that's just my opinion. Next chapter will be up, soon!

[XzareAce]

Twilight blushed. She wondered why Angel was staying put for the first time scince... ever! On the train she almost said 'Why does that patch of fur look different the the others?' She was glad she kept her mouth shut. She turned back to Fluttershy. “Oh, well… I can fix that!”

oh no! everypony run! if i learned anything from MLP it would be don't let Twilight fix things