Chapter 5: The Lieutenant, the Student, the Farmer, and the Forest Ranger
Pain.
Twilight’s world was pain.
The pain went through every part of her body. All the way from her hind legs to her horn, her world of hurt had both breadth and depth. She was able to fight through it and stay conscious, a feat she wouldn’t have been able to accomplish thirty years ago. Yet that did nothing to alleviate her confusion.
“Everything feels wrong,” she muttered to herself. She tried to open her eyes, but her eyelids were swollen shut. She tried to stretch her legs. Beyond everything being painful, there was also the fact they just felt wrong. “Legs are too short. Bones probably broken. Magic’s… tiny. Too little magic.”
“Nurse Redheart,” a familiar voice yelled. “I think she’s waking up.”
“Too little magic,” Twilight muttered again. “But… maybe enough. Spell just needs an open conduit.”
“Nurse Redheart, I think she’s trying to use magic. NURSE REDHEART! SOMETHING WEIRD IS HAPPENING!”
Twilight was using a very old spell, one which required no complex thought. It was a primal spell, from before the days of writing, when the Pegasus and the Unicorn feuded and the Earth Ponies had to fight every year to keep some of what they earned through their hard work. To simply let the magic of the land flow through her, and repair any grievous damage.
The magic felt impure. Contaminated, although not to dangerous and unusable levels. Magic, pure and unadulterated magic, is the potential to change. Like all magic, that change would have to be directed. Twilight simply directed it on a small yet grand scale, one that would not be possible with her level of raw ability save for skills learned over the course of her lifetime.
She could feel her bones knitting, the swelling becoming unbearable before beginning to pull back and go away. She could feel the bruising becoming worst, before healing. She could feel her organs becoming better, as strange as it sounded.
Twilight tried to open her eyes. Standing over her was Rainbow Dash, and a white pony with pink mane and a nurse’s cap. Another pony ran up, this one in some sort of grey costume, the glasses and the purple hair…
“Rarity?” Twilight asked feebly, garnering their attention. “Is it Night Mare Night already? Why are you wearing that costume?”
The trio stared at Twilight, and once again the unicorn fell into a dreamless slumber.
~ ~ ~
Nurse Redheart looked at the two ponies standing beside her. What she had seen, what was happening, was disturbing her greatly. Yet her time in the medical profession and exposure to magical accidents let her stay collected while the other two ponies were in a state of confusion and fear.
“Do you know this pony, Rarity?” Redheart asked the militia pony, looking at her.
“I’m afraid I don’t, Nurse Redheart,” Rarity replied. “I was coming in to check on Sergeant Doo. She had an accident while sending some correspondence to Captain Apple.”
“I’m afraid the minor injuries have been bandaged and sent home,” Redheart replied. “We have serious injuries and not enough supplies.”
“Triage,” Rarity said, more to her benefit than anyone else’s. “I understand. If you need my help…”
“I’ll ask. Your boutique does have a lot of space,” the nurse couldn’t help but to grin a little bit as Rarity tried to hide her flinch. “Now, both of you get out of here. Visiting hours are over.”
“But you said…” Rainbow Dash began.
“And that was before magic got involved,” Redheart replied, cutting the pegasus’s argument short. “Now out. OUT!”
And with that the duo was shooed out of the open room and into the hallway. They stood there, awkwardly.
“So…” Rainbow Dash said.
“…quite” Rarity replied. They were quiet for a few more moments. The unicorn then smiled. “I’m afraid we haven’t met yet. I’m Rarity Belle.”
“I’m Rainbow Dash,” Dash replied, smiling back at her. “Sorry to hear about your soldier, lieutenant.”
“Oh, you needn’t be so formal, dear,” Rarity said with an obvious effort at modesty. “Just call me Rarity. And it’s quite alright. She’s okay, and that all that matters. I’m more concerned with that lavender unicorn. Friend of yours?”
“More like ‘fellow student’,” Rainbow Dash replied. She then grinned. “She’s pretty cool, though. You should of seen it! That black pony that looks like the Princess started giving a high and mighty speech, and Twilight… I think her name’s Twilight… comes in acting like she’s about to pledge undying loyalty to her.”
“I assume by the word ‘act’ that it was all just a deception,” Rarity replied.
“Oh yeah!” Rainbow Dash said, nodding her head enthusiastically. “She then jumps ups and makes this fake prophecy about how Night Mare Moon is this sex goddess and is really into the kinky stuff. The look on her face! I don’t know if Night Mare Moon really a goddess like the Princess or a fake, but if she is then that makes it even better!”
“Oh my…” Rarity said, with a faint blush. “Is that how Twilight got injured?”
“Heck no!” Rainbow Dash said with a wide smile. “So that fake goddess is just standing around there like ‘wat?’ and the Twilight goes all ‘Swoon! Take me now, my kinky bondage mistress!’” Rarity blushed even more, although she had to admit that the giggle was genuine. The eyes falling upon the loud rainbow maned mare was particularly obvious. Rainbow Dash’s laughter then became more subdued. “And then Night Mare Moon threw Twilight into a wall. Twilight almost went through the thing, she was thrown that hard. She then yelled for Pinkie, passed out, and I got her away before all those fireworks went off.”
The two were quiet for a few moments. The silence was palpable, and the stallions and mares went back to tending and comforting the wounded. Rainbow Dash face screwed up in concentration though, something that Rarity noticed.
“What’s wrong dear,” Rarity asked.
“It’s just… weird,” Rainbow Dash said. “Okay, I realize I’m not a clever pony. Well… okay, I am clever, but flying is what I’m best at. Everything just fits together too well. I can appreciate a prank as much as the next mare, maybe more, but it looked like Twilight knew exactly what buttons to press to get the best reaction. And she knew mine, too, or else she wouldn’t have had AJ hold me back when it looked like she went traitor.”
“She did seem to know me as well,” Rarity replied, catching on to Rainbow Dash’s line of thought. “Even if she talked like she has never seen a proper military uniform before. I must admit that I am quite flummoxed by all this. I surely would have remembered a unicorn as distinctive as her.”
“Yeah, and if she’s a shut in, how did she get along so well with Applejack,” Rainbow Dash continued, noticing an odd look from Rarity. “Hey, just ‘cause I know a pony’s reputation doesn’t mean I know them. Everything I heard would make you think that she would spend all her time in a library, but the two of them were just walking around, getting along like drinking buddies.”
“Hmm… this case is most perplexing,” Rarity added. “Oh, how I wished I had more time. This is just like that quaint board game I would play as a filly.”
Rainbow Dash chuckled. “Weather-pony with a candlestick holder, right? I think I’ll talk to AJ about it. She has a good sense about these sorts of things. So, did I miss anything?”
“Well, I don’t know what you heard,” Rarity began, gossiping. “But the Princess is missing. Prince Blueblood has formed a caretaker government.”
“Wait, that spoiled brat?” Rainbow Dash asked. She saw the shocked expression on Rarity’s face. “Oh, come off it! I know the guy, okay. All he does is wander around those stupid bush mazes and act like a rude idiot.”
“Well, he certainly seems to be doing a fine job of rallying everyone together,” Rarity said, a little stand offish. “They’re publishing his speech into the newspapers right now. I must admit I’m a bit confused by all these comparisons to sailing and exploration, but it was quite a good speech and certainly was ‘off the cuff’, as they say.”
“Maybe he finally found his calling,” Rainbow Dash said noncommittally. “Some ponies are just screw-ups until the right thing happens. I’ll have to see for myself. But I hope he doesn’t screw this thing up.”
“I hope so as well. And you can see him yourself. He has taken over the spa and the park, and has named our Mayor his Chancellor.” Rarity said. “Which makes sense, I suppose. Nopony’s using a spa at a time like this, even if I do so want to luxuriate!”
Rainbow Dash sighed. “Officers,” she muttered. She then gave Rarity a small smile. “Well, I can’t keep watch over Twilight and this isn’t getting anything done. I guess I’ll be seeing you around. Our luck, and Princess Celestia has another faithful student tucked around her somewhere. Me, then Twilight, hmm… wonder if she’s an Earth pony. Or he, Celestia doesn’t seem the sexist type.”
Rainbow Dash cantered off, leaving a confused Rarity blinking in her wake. Then the realization struck. “I was talking to one of Celestia’s personal students?!”
~ ~ ~
Applejack looked over Ponyville, satisfied with the work that was done so far. She wasn’t nearly as selfless as her brother, who was at heart a big softy. She took care of her own, first and foremost her kin-folk, her friends, her employees and her community. It just so happened that the kin-folk were alright, and both the Apple family and the cattle that were under their employment were happy to help the locals with good old Apple family hospitality. Which left Applejack with her obligation to her friends.
At the edge of the Everfree Forest there was a cabin and a tower. That tower was home to the Forest Ranger, a pony who was very fierce and powerful in her own right and inclined to care for wild animals and trees more than ponies. But said ranger’s… eccentricities… made it too easy for her to isolate herself.
So, like any good friend, Applejack had to check on her.
“Fluttershy!” Applejack called out. “Fluttershy! Where are ya’, Fluttershy?!”
There was a light thumping against her back. Applejack looked back, noticing a very irate white rabbit bouncing up and down.
“Why howdy do there, Angel,” Applejack said, lifting the bunny by the scruff of it’s neck like a cat and setting it on the ground. If anything the white ball of anger seemed to become even more annoyed at Applejack. “Now, do ya’ know where Fluttershy is hidin’ herself?”
The bunny scowled, pointing to the tall watch tower which sat at the edge of the Everfree forest.
“Well why didn’t ya’ say so?” Applejack asked, causing the bunny’s frown to go into a full scowl. “I’ll talk to ya’ later.”
Applejack began to climb the spiral staircase that lead from the ground to the top of the tower. Thankfully both sides had rails, in case anypony had to stop and catch their breath or a gust of wind came. The climb was no trouble for Applejack, and soon she was at the room.
“Hey there, Fluttershy,” Applejack said, causing the yellow Pegasus to jump from her table. “Whoa, easy there. I didn’t mean to scare ya’.”
“Oh…I’m sorry if I scared you,” Fluttershy apologized rather unnecessarily. Like always she was wearing an unadorned light green shirt with epaulets, her field hat hanging by the door instead of on her head.
“Hon, ya’ gotta’ learn that ya’ don’t need to say ‘I’m sorry’ for every little thing,” Applejack replied, walking across the room. It was certainly cosy, with cushions on the floor and a nice carpet, as well as windows that could open and close. There was a small kitchenette to the side. She then got close enough to look at the table. “What ya’ got there? A bunch of bottlecaps?”
“Bottlecaps?” Fluttershy asked, before realizing what Applejack said. She then smiled, as if Applejack said a joke. “Oh, those aren’t bottlecaps. Those are medals for doing a good job.” The yellow mare then walked across the room and poured tea from an electric kettle into a couple of cups that were already on a tray. “Would you like some tea? Angle doesn’t want to have tea time since that copperhead tried to play with him.”
“I wouldn’t mind the tea, but what exactly makes ya’ think these are medals?” Applejack asked, gladly accepting a cup when Fluttershy offered it to her.
“Oh, they’re just the rewards described in the ‘Equestrian Forest Ranger Manual’,” Fluttershy replied. She then started to point to specific ones. “This one is for three years of service,” she said, indicating a bottlecap with a ‘3’ on it. “And this one is for seven,” she then moved on to the seven. “Although the book says there has to be one for five, and doesn’t mention a seven. And this one is for being a good ranger,” she then indicated one with a leaf on it, “This one is for all the astronomical records I mail in,” she indicated a bottle cap with a star, “And this one is for last year’s fire,” she finished, with one that had a stylized flame on it.
“And if they’re medals, why don’t they have any pins or ribbon parts on them?” Applejack asked. For some reason the room seemed to be getting bigger.
“I’m… umm,” Fluttershy looked around, “Maybe it’s a ‘do-it-yourself’ project? I thought my superious would be thoughtful enough to give me something to do. I get so lonely being here in this watchtower. Sometimes it’s like you’re the only pony who visits me.”
“Well, your first hint should be if your boss gave them to you. Did he?” Applejack asked.
“Umm… no. I thought he left it by the road, like a scavenger hunt. Why else would all those toys and candy be on the road?” Fluttershy asked.
“… that actually solves why Applebloom an’ her friends keeps on goin’ on about a ghost in the watchtower. But how do you get paid? Does Ditzy Doo give your checks to you in the mail?”
“… I get paid?” Fluttershy asked, genuinely confused.
“Oh come on!” Applejack yelled, feeling outraged. “Don’t you go into Ponyville to buy groceries and food and stuff?”
“Well, you let me have some of the apples and vegetables from your farm. And you bring me so many wonderful things! Especially when I ask nicely. And there’s so many things left on the side of the road, and there are a lot of delicious plants and berries in the Everfree if you know where to look and what’s not poison. It also helps to know where all the obvious death traps are,” Fluttershy said, with entirely too much certainty. It seemed as though her voice was getting lower, and Applejack was straining her neck to look up at her.
“Oh my Faust you can’t honestly be sayin’… wait a moment, you’re Ranger Fluttershy. Of course you can,” Applejack started pacing. “You’ve been doing this since you were a filly, and everypony has been asking about the Ranger. And I keep tellin’ them it’s fine every since I took over on checkin’ on the Rangers from Granny Smith. And Granny Smith has probably been saying the gol’ darn thing. I just kept on assumin’ that you were needin’ little things instead of everything, and besides those art and photo supplies that I give you for special occasions and those books you ask for every now and then you live a very modest lifestyle. What the hay have you been doing all this time?”
“I’ve been cataloguing and observing the wildlife and natural processes in the Everfree Forest. It’s really quite fascinating. I’m almost done with my seventh book, and I’ve even made a few educational cartoons for if I ever get children to visit!” Fluttershy said, clopping her hooves in excitement for finally sharing her projects. Unfortunately, from Applejack’s perspective, Fluttershy was already larger than Big Mac with a voice several octaves too low. “I’ve always been so proud of them! I do all the drawings and voices. That equipment to make the film reels and the recordings are the best Hearth Warming Eve gifts that anypony could ever ask for. You are the best friend I’ve ever had, Applejack.”
“I think I’m trippin’,” Applejack said, realizing what’s going on with a sudden lucidity. “I haven’ tripped this badly since I was a student at Bale. Fluttershy, why am I trippin’? What did you put in my tea?”
“Well, umm… I ran out of tea leaves, but I found this pretty blue flower in the Everfree that I had already proven wasn’t toxic. So I… um… improvised?” Fluttershy replied, with a sheepish smile on her face. She was entirely too cute for someone who now had the voice of a blues singer.
“Danggit Fluttershy!” Applejack yelled with a squeek. She then took charge of the situation. “Okay, here’s what we do. We walk into town, casually. Find out what’s been going on with Twilight Sparkle, and see Rainbow Dash about what all we need to do to get your back pay. Then, we’re going to find you some friends.”
“That sounds nice, Applejack,” Fluttershy said, beginning to argue with the farm pony.”But I already have lots of…”
“PONY FRIENDS! Not all these dag-nabbin’ animals from the Everfree!” Applejack yelled back in her tiny, squeaky voice.
“Oh,” Fluttershy replied, visibly deflating. There was a very large thump on the window. Applejack looked up to see a fox slowly sliding off of it, a look of panic across its face. There was another dull thump, presumably from it hitting the deck that surrounded the room and formed a sort of balcony for the watch tower.
“One moment, Applejack,” Fluttershy said, in that strange deep voice, before walking outside the door. “ANGEL THEODORE BUNNY! I’M VERY DISSAPOINTED IN YOU!” She yelled down. There was some chittering going on from below, which Applejack was sure were actual words. “HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU NOT TO USE THE CROCHET MALLET TO BEAT AROUND OUR CARNIVOROUS FRIENDS!? THEY’LL GET THE WRONG IDEA AND NEVER VISIT US AGAIN!” Straining her ears, Applejack could almost make out the words in that wierd screaming that started up. "JUST BECAUSE I AM NOT YOUR BIOLOGICAL MOTHER DOES NOT MEAN I AM NOT YOUR REAL MOM!"
“Oh my Faust,” Applejack moaned, taking off her hat and burying her face in it. “That's too much like Fluttershy to be the drugs. Is everypony in this town crazy, or are me an’ Dash just the weirdness magnets?”
[Author's notes: Continuing thanks goes to the Space Battlers who read over my thread and provide input. Thanks is also to be had to everyone here who posts comments. I realize that I don't reply back often, mostly to keep all the premadona BS to a minimum, and I know that I can't please everyone, but for the most part your comments have been helpful and entertaining.
For the most common complaints: Yes, I realize that there are pacing issues. This is the longest story I've written yet, and the first to surpass the mark that most publishing houses consider 'novella legnth'. I'm trying to slow the story down a bit without getting into the trap of letting the story stall. There will likely be more editing down the road, but for right now I want to see this through to the end instead of getting stuck fussing over the detail like a nest-building Rarity. The fact that I'm releasing this like most fan-fics, as a serialized story instead of one big novel(la), also doesn't help when compared to professional standards.
An SBer by the screenname of RK_Striker_JK_5 has made this fic a a TVTropes page. I used to find editing tropes pages a lot of fun, and some of you might too. Also, please keep it from becoming a hug fest. I'm a big boy, and I need to get used to being poked for when I have to defend my thesis four years or so from now.]
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Is Fluttershy Ranger Gord now? That is not a crossover I was expecting to see.
Yep, this is definitely the kind of thing Q would do. Keep it up, author. Looking forward to seeing how this all works out.
Oh god, this is awesome.
MOAR
Great....what's next? Ditzy telling us "Keep your muffin on the ice"?
I... felt rather sorry for Fluttershy, there, at the end.
fantastic
ROFLMFAO...
The fox jumps. Angel takes the swing. Hit. Its going, going going, "SPLAT".
Its gone my friends. Angel has won the game.
Oh no, there goes Flutterrage. Everyone RUN!!!!!!
Man, that was a priceless read. And even though I say Whiskey Tango Foxtrot to this story all the time, it is still one of my favorite reads. You really outdid your self with this one. Keep the story coming and the lulz aflowing.
I wasn't distracted from the story, Good job.
My little pony... a cartoon REPORTEDLY for little girls... and the Red Green show, a canadian comedy about duct tape obsessed handymen?
This is... I can't... Why would you.....
GAH! SCHENANIGANS! I call schenanigans!!!
This is extremely awesome. I love how Twilight is purposely messing up the timeline out of boredom. It's the sort of random thing which is probably a nice break after spending so long doing the more serious version so regularly. And which is hilarious to read about.
I KEEP THROWING BITS AT THE SCREEN BUT NOTHING'S HAPPENING!!
But seriously this story is beyond epic. I have never watched Star Trek but I do not feel confused on what's happening and who's who. But I do have a question though. Is Q the little Discord or the Big Discord?