Chapter 2: Apple Pie
Chapter 2: Apple Pie
The magical land of Equestria passed underneath the golden flying chariot. The two pegasus who flew and pulled said chariot were members of the royal guard, and thus solely focused on ensuring that chariot’s passengers had a safe and discreet trip. For the most part this also meant that said passengers could more fully enjoy their trip.
Twilight was glad that she was having the chance to relive this particular experience. Whenever she replayed the Nightmare Moon incident, it always began either during Nightmare Moon’s arrival or while they were in the Everfree Forest. The beings who caused these had a fairly strict mode of operation with obvious goals, although they were apparently coordinated enough to ensure that the crisis always began on a Tuesday.
Tuesday, being the third day of the week in the Standard Equestrian Calendar, was always a significant day to Twilight. This is especially true of the third Tuesday of the month. Even moreso when that third Tuesday happened during March. And Celestia help her if that Tuesday was the 21st.
Twilight could never get the hang of Tuesdays.
She wasn’t brooding, though. She was mature enough not to do that. Instead she looked over the landscape, appreciating the view more fully as they flew from Canterlot to Ponyville. It would only be a short while until they reached what she lovingly called ‘the free range insane asylum’.
Twilight’s plan was simplicity itself. Go to Ponyville. Make friends. Have a party. Then embrace the crazy and kick flank in an entertaining way ‘slapstick comedy episode of the week’ sort of way. She kind of needed to fill in the details, but works in progress seemed to work better than actual, rational plans and organization on Tuesdays.
‘Heh, not even there and I’m already thinking like I’m in Ponyville,’ Twilight thought to herself.
“So what do you think Ponyville will be like?” Spike asked, breaking Twilight’s train of thought as he looked over the sides of the carrage in wonder.
“Oh, I’m pretty sure it’ll be like every small town,” Twilight replied. “Brightly colored pastel houses. A restruant, a library, a school. Maybe something like a dressmaker’s shop if enough ponies feel the need to buy something nice.”
“Well that’s boring,” Spike said, before smiling at Twilight. “But I’m betting the ponies there will be nice. Maybe they’ll have all sorts of stories.”
“Oh, I’m sure,” Twilight said, leaning closer as though sharing a secret. “I’m betting there’s a big secret there, though.”
“Really?” Spike asked, curious.
“Oh yes. The apple baron who controls the lifeblood of the town with an iron hoof. The fashion model trying to get away from it all. The obsessive compulsive unicorn, always three steps away from snapping and close to being tardied on an assignment. The premadona dressmaker has figured out a way to get her fifteen minutes of fame. Did you eat the cupcakes? The baker’s always keen on ‘special ingredients’. All that we truly know is that there’s a dead pony in the ballroom, that there’s a candlestick, and that somepony in the house is a murderer.”
Spike looked at Twilight, dumbfounded by all the suggestions. Then he started to crack up. Then it became a full on fit of laughter that he couldn’t control. “You actually read that book,” he managed to asked when he calmed down, smile plastered on his face. “I mean, the board game is great, but the novel and the movie are really cheesy.”
“They are charmingly cheesy pieces of art that nopony properly appreciates,” Twilight said mock seriously, before grinning. “So, who done it?”
“Hmm… must be the weather-pony,” Spike stated sagely. “It’s always the weather-pony.”
The chariot landed, the guard pegusi cantering before coming to a stop. The purple unicorn mare and the purple baby dragon hopped off the chariot, and Twilight took the time to put on a set of saddle bags. As they began walking down Ponyville’s Mane Street Twilight gave the two soldiers a nod of respect. “Thank you, gentlecolts.”
The two colts nickered, pleased with the respect as they began to fly off to attend to other duties.
“Well, let’s get to work,” Twilight said. “Where are we staying, Spike?”
“Oh, you’ll love this,” Spike said. “Princess Celestia has arranged for us to stay in the library.”
“Well that’ll be nice,” Twilight said, not quite working up the enthusiasm.
“You okay Twilight?” Spike asked, concern in his voice.
“You keep asking me that question,” Twilight replied.
“Well, one moment you’re happy and fun to be around, and then the next you’re depressed and waiting for something to happen,” Spike said.
Twilight sighed. “I’m sorry Spike. I guess I do feel a little bit off. Maybe this break will be a good thing. I mean, I’m sure that we’ll find some friendly, interesting ponies, right?”
Twilight turned her head from her assistant to a lot of pink.
Time seemed to slow down. Twilight knew Pinky Pie well enough to see the signs. First there was the surprise. Then there was the surprise. Her face was twisting into an almost comical expression of shock. Soon she would run away with one purpose in mind: Party.
Twilight took her normal preventative measures. In the blink of an eye a cupcake seemingly appeared from nowhere, shoved into the pink mare’s mouth by her own hoof. The surprise transformed into an expression of uncomprehending shock, as Pinkie Pie simply didn’t know anypony who could that.
Time seemed to speed up once more. Twilight noticed that all the ponies on Mane Street looked at her with the same shock as Pinky Pie. For Twilight had done something that no mare had ever done before: stopped her from starting work on a party.
“Hey Lyra,” Twilight said casually at the mare sitting unusually on a park bench.
“Umm… hi Twilight…” Lyra responded hesitantly, aware now of the eyes going from the scene before the pony audience to her.
“Quick question, if you don’t mind. How do you get to everywhere so quickly?” Twilight asked.
“… I walk?”
“Of course you do,” Twilight replied, before the pink mare looked at her in wonderment.
“Who are you?” Pinkie Pie asked.
“A friend you’ve already met,” Twilight responded with a smile. “And right now, I want a party.”
“A party?” Pinkie Pie asked, her eyes lighting up.
“A big one. A party fit for not just one Princess, but two!” Twilight replied. Already the little gears in her head were turning very quickly, using past experience with Pinky Pie’s celebrations to fit into the plan. “I’m Twilight Sparkle, and I’m checking on the progress for the Summer Sun Celebration. Princess Celestia is coming here personally for the festivities, and she’ll be bringing a very special guest.”
Pinky Pie looked at her skeptically. “Well that didn’t sound at all happy,” Pinkie Pie said, seeing through Twilight’s façade with the purple mare’s slight change of tone. “It sounds like the special guest is an itchy twitchy rhymes with witchy sort of pony. What sort of party do you really need.”
“The works,” Twilight responded in a matter of fact way. “Nothing held back.”
Pinkie Pie seemed to inhale deeply, before bouncing up and down with a manic grin all over her face. “Ohmyfaustit’sreallyyouititreallyis! My Pinkie Sense went crazy and it felt like I was going to jump all the way down to the center of the Earth, which is silly because everypony knows jumping makes you go up not down, and then I realized I’m going to meet somepony who’ll ask for the biggest bestest party of all time and space forever but everypony knows that the bestest best parties are outside the Milky Way (stupid omnipotent sourpusses) but that doesn’t mean that I can’t try and now you’re here and now I can! Try! PARTY!”
“Umm… that’s great Pinkie Pie,” Twilight said, already getting overwhelmed by the excitable mare. She needed a way out quick. “But shouldn’t you be at Sugar Cube Corner helping the Cakes?”
Pikie Pie gasped. “Oh my gosh you’re right! I left the oven on!” She then broke out in a run. “I’m coming to save you my cupcakes!”
“Umm… Twilight? Do you know her?” Spike asked.
“I’m never sure,” Twilight replied, watching the pink mare run away. “What’s first on the checklist?”
Spike pulled out a piece of parchment, looking down at the list. “Check food preparations at Sweet Apple Acres.”
“Let’s go meet the owners, then,” Twilight replied, as the two made their way to the largest farm in Ponyville. Slowly all the other ponies went back to their previous business, trusting the strange purple mare with a baby dragon to know what she was doing since she handled Pinkie Pie so well.
They had no idea how misplaced their trust would be.
* * *
“Well, here we are!” Spike exclaimed. “Sweet Apple Acres.”
“I can’t say it’s exactly how I imagined it,” Twilight responded.
It truly wasn’t how she remembered it. Sure, the trees were still there, arranged like have been for generations. The same welcoming gate was there. The sign that said ‘All visitors welcomed, as long as they check in’ wasn’t what she remembered, however. Neither was the line of unconnected fence posts, the top half of which were painted purple. For some reason that detail irked Twilight enough to make her ponder it, although she couldn’t really say why.
Then, out of nowhere, Applejack.
“Well howdy-do there partner, and welcome to Sweet Apple Acres!” the enthusiastic Earth Pony practically yelled while furiously shaking Twilight’s hoof. “I’m Applejack, the proprietor of this here apple orchard.”
“I’m Twilight Sparkle,” Twilight said through the hoof shaking. Applejack let go, and the purple unicorn was able to stop before making a foal of herself.
“Well what can I do ya’ for, Ms. Sparkle? I can’t claim to have all the same amenities as a fancy city-person like yourself might be used to, but I know my apples and apple accessories. Red apples, green apples, apple trees, apple decorations, big Macintosh’s fancy Apple Computers, apple pastries… although the Apple Trading Cartel doesn’t have a monopoly on that yet. Darn Cakes.”
“Oh…” Twilight said, taken aback again. Never before had she heard of an ‘Apple Trading Cartel’. Something like that wouldn’t have gone under her radar from the political implications alone, not to mention the fact that Applejack couldn’t lie worth a bad apple. “Well, I’m here to check on the preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration on behalf of my mentor, Princess Celestia.”
“Well why didn’t ya’ say so?!” Applejack asked. “This is the sort of thing that the annual Apple Family Reunion’s built around!”
“Well, I’ll be glad to… WHOA!”
~ ~ ~
“And finally, Granny Smith! Up and at em’, Granny Smith!”
The elderly mare mumbled something along the lines of ‘wut’, before noticing the large pile of apple products on the table, mumbling something along the lines of ‘soup’s on’ before walking slowly towards the table, half asleep.
“Oh, umm… well, while it’s really nice to meet you all, I’m not sure if I should stick around. There’s still a lot of work for the Summer Sun Celebration.”
There was a collective ‘aww’, as every pony except Big Mac lowered their heads in disappointment.
“Fine,” Twilight muttered.
“YAY!”
“Now bow ya’ll’s heads for prayer,” Applejack said, taking off her signature hat as everypony else bowed their head, again to Twilight’s confusion.
“Dear Faust,
“We ask of thee to please bless this food for the strength and nourishment of our bodies. We ask of thee to please bless our labors, that they may be pleasing unto you’re divine servant, Princess Celestia. We ask of thee to please extend your gracious hooves to the protections and benefit of Her servant, Twilight Sparkle, of whom we’ve only known for a short time.
“And most importantly, we ask of thee to please protect us from our heathen decadent neighbors, the Carrots, this college hoofball season, and that while no permanent harm comes to the e.u. players, that their efforts will be frustrated and our Fightin’ Equestrian Aggies will win the day.”
A mighty whoop came from almost all of the assembled Apples.
“Amen”
There was a reverent silence, of which Twilight felt awkward in.
Applejack was the one to break the pause. “Now then every pony, let’s dig in!”
There was veritable party started, with many more tables then what Twilight remembered. Everything seemed right, with the same proud and friendly (though eccentric) Apple family. But the inclusion of a prayer to a diety she never heard of, much less a prayer like that, didn’t turn well in her mind.
“Umm… about the prayer…” Twilight began as Applejack and Big Mac settled into a seat her, Granny Smith happily serving cider in her slow yet patient pace.
“Oh, I hope we didn’t bother you none with that,” Applejack said. “I wouldn’t be surprised if you weren’t even Orthodox Celestian, what with bein’ so close to divinity and all. But we wouldn’t be Latter-day Reformed Southern Faustians if we didn’t pay our respects to the Creator and all.”
“I… see…” Twilight said. The clues were enough to follow up on later without seeming too out of place. “So… Aggies?”
“Yep. It’s been a proud Apple tradition, even after they civilinized the place. Big Mac here was in the Corps of Cadets, and was even a yell leader! Isn’t that right, Big Mac?”
“Eeyep.”
“Wouldn’t he have to join the military, though?” Spike asked.
“Oh, they did away with that. Didn't mean he didn't try, though. He tried to join the regular army, but they said he was ‘too tall’, and that his fancy mathematics degree didn’t impress them none. But he’s the captain of the local militia, and that’s good enough for them to fund his big fancy Ph.D. and all of his research.”
“Will ya’ ever tell us why you farm apples with us instead of teaching at the college?” Applebloom asked.
“Nnnope.”
“I... see…” Twilight said, looking at the large stallion in a new light. “Would you be familiar with the magical applications of number theory?”
“Eeyep.”
“Well wouldn’t you look at that? Big Mac finally found himself a ladyfriend.” Caramel Apple (the female one) said to her friends, loud enough for the group to hear. They all seemed to laugh at Twilight’s blush.
“Now don’t mind their teasin’, Miss Sparkle. It just means you’re practically one of the family!” Applejack said.
And thus the party continued, and Twilight finally found someone to share research notes with.
* * *
Ponyville, like many rural communities, did not have much in the way of a night life. There was a bar, true, but that bar was patroned by farmers and working class ponies for the most part. If you wanted to party, you either needed friends and a place to host it that wouldn’t draw negative attention or one of the few local fairs and festivals.
The Apple Family Reunion was such a party in the end. After the foals and Spike tuckered themselves out and went to bed, the cider began to flow even more freely. Twilight and Big Mac had gathered together their own clique of Apples, the “Egghead Corner”. The topic of conversation ranged as freely, from applied mathematics to current events to Apple Cartel politics and gossip. Twilight learned a lot, especially since Big Mac proved a master conversationalist and entertainer.
Which lead to the current predicament.
The ground seemed to shake under her as though it were a ship. She was being supported by Applejack, move slowly towards the library.
“I can’t believe you have a master’s degree,” Twilight slurred.
“And I simply cannot believe how drunk you let yourself get,” Applejack replied. “Besides, it is only a Masters degree in Agricultural Management.”
“Well of course it is, ‘case you’re the Apple Baroness.”
“I will not be referred to as such,” Applejack said sharply. “I only manage Sweet Apple Acres, not the whole Cartel. And not all Apple Cartel members are Apples either, even if they extended family. We have simply come to an arrangement which allows all parties to have a comfortable profit without driving one party or another out of buisness.”
“Yeah. But Big Mac says you’re the leader,” Twilight replied. “That means you’re the leader… pony… leader. And if Big Mac says it’s true, I trust ‘im, ‘cause I’m sure he has a big... a big…”
Twilight belched, which caused Applejack to sigh.
“Ms. Twilight, I know you got eyes on Macintosh,” Applejack said.
“I… well, he’s handsome, and smart…”
Applejack smirked a little bit. “And every filly and young mare in this town will not let me hear the end of it. Now, while I am pleased the protégé of my sovereign would desire the companionship of my brother, but I am still his sister. He is a kind soul, and if you purposefully mislead or hurt him I cannot be held responsible for the ensuing damages to your person or your property.”
Twilight looked at Applejack, her face screwing up a little as she tried to figure out what was wrong. Then she looked at the duplicate of her friend. “Your dialect’s different.”
“I have not the faintest idea what you are talking about,” Applejack replied. “I have always retained my proper dialect, in spite of the boarding school attempts to teach ‘proper English’. It is simply that I can hold my cider better than you can.”
They got to the door of the library, Applejack smiling to Twilight. “Well, I suppose this experience makes us friends now.”
“I guess,” Twilight said, before her eyes went wide. “Oh no!”
“Oh no?” Applejack echoed.
“I got so wrapped up in talking to everyone that I forgot all the other preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration! Rainbow Dash and Rarity and Fluttershy and…” Twilight only stopped at a hoof being pressed to her lips.
“All of the ponies you have mentioned are industrious and reliable, even if Rainbow Dash is a bit of a sloth,” Applejack stated. “For now we will get you some water, and then get you to bed.”
Applejack then opened the door. To both of the pony’s shocks, sitting in plain view of both of them was Pinkie Pie, her mane flat and straight.
“What is thy bidding my mistress?” Pinkie asked, kneeling to Twilight.
There was a moment of silence. Then Applejack looked at Twilight, her eyes as wide as saucers. “How did you gain the fealty of Pinkie Pie?! What did you?!”
“The worst… possible… THING! Oh Celestia, WHAT DID I DO?!” Twilight started to become more obviously disheveled, but rather than having a magical breakdown she mearly fainted instead.
“Well, that was fun!” Pinkie said with a manic smile, practically bouncing on her hooves. “Better see Miss Belle about more shampoo and conditioner and stuff. My Pinkie sense says tomorrow is going to be a great party! I guarantee it!”
Pinkie then hopped out of the library, around the unconscious unicorn and confused farm pony and straight to Sugarcube Corner. It was only after she was gone that Applejack knew what to say.
“Faust help us all.”
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first i was like
then i was like
no i want
Well that was fun. Now that I think about it your story is the first peggy sue I have read of mlp:fim and is also quite interesting.
This Twilight Sparkle appears to have quite a story of heroism and magical expertise (perhaps to be slowly unveiled to the readers as the fic advances) and also seems to be used (more like resignated) to the attentions of the night-omnipotent being Q who has chosen our heroine for a part in a play for his son birthday, the world created (or transfered to?) for this purpose seems to have some interesting changes (wonder how celestia is) though we have yet to see the rest of the mane 6 (
).
There are however a few spelling problems so you may wish to check that though I am no expert.
Overall this fic has a good start and I expect to see more
Good Luck
Luis fading out
At first in chaptet 1, I was:
Then, I was:
later at chapter 2 , I was:
an then I was:
and finally I was:
IT NEED MORE CHAPTERS!
Well, that was.... um, I'm not sure how to describe it. I was left thinking 'wtf'? But I liked it. A lot. You sir have earned yourself 5 stars and a track.
that was fun :D 5/5 tracking :D keep it up!
I'm still a bit more confused than I'd like to be. Now, I will admit I didn't exactly sit down to study this.
But, I did understand it better than I did the last chapter. Keep in mind what I said last chapter, and you could have yourself a great story here.
How bizarre.
Dam it Q, fix it, don't make me put you in the box again.
You spelled Twilight wrong in the description.
It's an interesting premise, but the Faust references feel very crow-barred in.
Well. This chapter annoyed me, until I reread it with Applejack having a very loud southern accent. Then the rest of the references made sense. 5/5.
I don't know what in the flying fuck I just read, but Faust damnit, it was good.
While the first chapter and a good deal of the second were great(I myself getting the references to Star Trek), I too think some of the elements of the alternate universe after the swap are a bit forced. I assume you of course have an understandable explanation for the slight change in, well, everything, though I also second the feeling of the random cheap token religion outta nowhere. What point is there to it other than being an annoying meta gag that adds nothing to the story? Remember, Meta gags tend to detract from the story.
wow weird stuff
Please write more, I'm interested.
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot is coming from all angles of this story.
You have my attention, proceed with the story please kind sir/mam
Finally! Someone who hates Tuesdays as much as I do!
Also, 100th like get!
What's a "restruant?"
Also, Clue reference FTW!
Huh. The Apple Family are... creationists.
March? Don't you mean June?
> premadona
prima donna