Milky’s kingdom

by MelodyStories

My life

My name is Milky. I am one of the 6 kids of Cookiemilk. Her spouse as well as my dad’s name is ash. He helped Cookiemilk to defeat Twishy Wishcake. He used to be a human, but Cookiemilk turned him into an alicorn pony. They have a pet named pikachu. They also had 6 kids including me. They went through hundreds of adventures and defeated thousands of villains. I always wanted to join them! My great grandpa is discord. They love drawing on his statue! I tried it and it was very fun. I drew a picture of him crying with an ugly face! When they take him off his time out, he looks like an ugly person. My mom always laughed. I also had a kid named cereal loop. I taught her how to punish discord.

One time he accidentally knocked over my favorite vase. I told Cereal loop to turn him into a frog and throw him off the house roof. One time he let a lot of cats in the house. Cats HATE chocolate. I made cereal loop turn him into a cat and feed him chocolate but I turned him back because it doesn’t work on cookie ponies or creatures. When my second daughter loop fruit was born, I taught her too. Then, Discord disappeared. Me and my kids, Loop fruit and cereal loop started getting worried. Where could he be? We did a search party.

Then, loop fruit came running towards me incredibly fast with a happy facial appearance.

She yelled “I got my cutie mark!” It was an apple in a bowl of milk. I was extremely happy with her.

“Let’s throw a party!” I yelled happily. We got ready. I retrieved the drinks as well as the food. I also retrieved the toys as well as games. My daughter was really excited. So excited she farted. All the ponies laughed. I smiled.

Comments

[Thunderpop]

My great grandpa is discord. They love drawing on his statue! I tried it and it was very fun. I drew a picture of him crying with an ugly face! When they take him off his time out, he looks like an ugly person. My mom always laughed. I also had a kid named cereal loop. I taught her how to punish discord.

Why does this family torture discord so much?

[RoyalBardofCanterlot]

How old are you dear?

[MelodyStories]

10748557
15

[Tania tokustar]

I don’t even now what to say

[MagicPony]

Ok, a lot of things are happening at the same time. Perhaps you could pace them a little bit to have more time to explain some of the events in more detail and build a more entrancing story.

[The Weaver]

This was enjoyable. It reads like an excitable eight year old is telling me what happened in make believe land today. So fast I got whiplash. One thing I do notice is the lack of mistakes, at least on first glance.

Her spouse as well as my dad’s name is ash.

this sentence feels vary clunky; I think it could be rewritten.