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Derpy's (Misfortunate) Birthday

Muffin Time

Derpy’s (Misfortunate) Birthday

By Dr. John Smith

Celestia’s sun was just beginning to rise as a greyish amber stallion trotted through the sleepy town. Today was a special day. Today was Derpy’s birthday. Doc made his way to the bazaar where Carrot Top was setting up her carrots for the day. The stallion looked around him to make sure no hide nor hair of Derpy was following him. “Pssst-” He whispered. “Golden Harvest.”

The yellow mare got instantly annoyed and shot a look and began. “My name is-” She stopped once she knew who it was. “Doc, it’s just you. Shoulda known since you’re the only one in town who gets my name right.” Doc pulled her close as he wrapped a forehoof around her neck. “Do you have the ingredients?” The yellow mare nodded. “Good. I want today to be very special.”

“You care a lot about Derps, don’t ya Doc?”

Doc paused with a blush. He did care for Derpy a lot. She was special to him. “Yes, well I-” He paused, not knowing what to say. Doc simply rushed away with only the words “Be at Derpy’s by 8 tonight!” All Carrot Top could do is give a knowing smile before setting up her stand for the day. Doc had big plans for Derpy tonight. Plans to celebrate the hardest working pegasus in Ponyville. But Derpy, on the other hoof, wasn’t feeling so hot. Her day had felt like Tartarus since she woke up. She nearly forgot to put on her uniform before leaving and she didn’t want Postmen to chew her out again. She was late getting Dinky to school, and even though Cheerilee was okay about it, Derpy felt like she could have gotten up earlier. She just knew today was going to be bad.

Dinky hugged her mother’s neck and Derpy held her daughter close. “I love you momma. And happy birthday!” Derpy couldn’t help but smile at her daughter's words. She gave a “I love you, Muffin” before she took off for work.

Doc appeared from behind the doorway as Derpy trotted off. Turning his attention to Cheerilee and Dinky, he began. “So, are you sure you can make it tonight?”

The teacher nodded. “As soon as class ends I can make my way over!”

“Fantastic! Now I must be off to Roseluck to talk about part of her gift.”

Dinky latched onto Doc’s foreleg before he left. “Momma’s gonna love her party!”

Doc hugged the filly back. “I sure hope she does.” With those words, he took off.

-000-

“Are you sure it didn’t come in?”

“Yes ma’am. It's my job to make sure everypony gets their packages on time!” Derpy replied with a smile but behind that smile was a fuse waiting to go off.

Derpy was in the midst of a conversation with the fashionista herself; Rarity. The unicorn had come to pick up an order of special Saddle Arabian silk fabric but one thing or another had happened and the fabric hadn’t shown up. Now, this may feel frustrating but these things happen. Rarity wasn’t having it and grew more frustrated as the tiny crew were searching all over for it to no avail. “Listen hear you feather-brain. If my special order of Saddle Arabian silk fabric isn’t in my hooves within the next five minutes.”

“But ma’am-”

“Four.”

The fuse was growing shorter.

“Three.”

“It’s not here! We che-”

“Two.”

That was it. The fuse was about to go off and nopony, not even Rarity, could see what was going to happen next.

“One. Now, where is my-”

“It isn’t here!” Derpy snapped. Her sudden outburst shocked everypony in line. Princess Luna stuck her head from the crowd to see the commotion before hiding behind the rest. “If your package had shown up then it would be in those precious little hooves of yours! BUT. IT. ISN’T! So why don’t you make like a tree AND GET OUT OF HERE!” All the mare did was exhale an exhausted exhale. Rarity silently exited the post office. Refusing to make any eye contact with anypony.

Postman heard the commotion and rushed to reassure everypony it was okay, guiding them to a secondary line for their packages. Postman furrowed his brow at his niece. “Derpy-” She didn’t look. “Derpy Doo.” he spat again, but she still didn’t turn her head. She was seething and on the verge of tears. Finally he rested a hoof on the pegasus’ shoulder as she calmed down from the outburst. “Derps…” he began, “Why don’t you take the rest of the day off?”

The mare looked up to her uncle/boss with worry. “But sir! My shift isn’t over!”

“For your sake, and everypony else's, please take the rest of the day off.” Postman was normally gruff and scratchy with her. Always on the verge of yelling. This was different. His tone was more hush and calm as he gently patted her shoulder.

The mare nodded and slowly snuck away before anypony could say anything to her. She snuck to the streets of Ponyville as everypony was going about their day. She walked towards the shopping bazaar to talk to Golden Harvest. Unbeknownst to her, from behind an apple cart were the familiar stallion with a rose colored mare. Doc and Roseluck breathed a sigh of relief as Derpy passed without noticing them. Rose handed Doc a present as he gave her a hug. “This is fantastic!” He laughed. “Derpy will love it!”

Rose softly giggled to herself as Doc marveled over her work. “I hope she does, Doc. She must be something pretty special for you to go out of your way to prepare a surprise party for her. Is she your fillyfriend?”

Doc choked on his words. Fillyfriend? He thought. Why does everypony assume Derpy and I are together? His mind raced but all he could say was “I- well, we- No- she- I-” He was squashed by Rose giving him a knowing wink as she gave him the package.

“Just take good care of her.”

Doc nodded as he rushed off towards Sugarcube Corner. The topic of the cake was a matter Doc hadn’t thought through. “Would Derpy like a standard cake? Or a tower of muffins?” He said to himself. “So many variables!” His mind was up in the skies of how grand his party for Derpy was going to be.

-000-

Derpy made her way through the streets of Ponyville. Not too much was going on other than a few birthday wishes from the Cutie Mark Crusaders. “Happy birthday Ms. Hooves!” Greeted the tiny unicorn.

“Yeah, I hope your birthday is super extreme!” Followed the pegasus.

“Iffin’ y’all wanna, drop by the farm fer some free apples! As a gift!” Finished off by the earth pony.

Derpy giggled as she ruffled the mane’s of the three young girls. “Thank you girls. Is Dinky with you?” The girls shook their heads. “She must be at Doc’s workshop.” The girls gave the pegasus one final hug before taking off towards her trusty carrot selling friend.

-000-

Doc burst through the doors of Sugarcube Corner with bated breath. Having run from Rose’s florist stand all the way across town was quite the trot. The eyes of the pink party pony targeted Doc as he slunk through the shop. The pink mare zipping to the counter. “Is Derpy here?” The mare shook her head. “Fantastic! I need help with a cake for her party.”

“Ya know Doc, I could have had this all done by now if you let ME plan the party.” She said in a stern tone.

Doc nervously laughed. “Pinkie, I know you are an excellent party pony!”

“Uh huh!”

“But Derpy is special.” The mare paused. “She requires a scientific approach to her party! A hoof who knows she likes a small, quiet get together with friends.” He explained. Pinkie nodded and gave a knowing wink. Causing Doc to blush.

“Now, would Derpy like a standard cake or a tower of muffins? She has a love for muffins but a cake is more appropriate for parties. Oh Pinkie, the variables!” He gasped out. Pinkie gave it some thought. Derpy would like cake but a tower of muffins would make her very happy, but then, Pinkie had an idea. “Doc! What if you had a cake MADE out of muffin batter!” The pink pony suggested. Doc’s expression grew excited as he grabbed Pinkie’s face with his hooves and pulled her close. “Pinkie you GENIUS! A muffin CAKE!” Doc cheered as he spun Pinkie in a twirl. “Derpy will love it!” When he let go the pink mare spun until she landed on the floor.

“Anything I could do to help, Doc!” Pinkie cheered. The stallion told her the time to have the cake ready and bolted off. He had more to do before he could pick Dinky up from school. On the other side of town, Derpy wasn’t having a great day. A stray storm cloud had gotten away and began zapping anything in its path with lightning. The poor mare had been zapped up to four times before Cloud Kicker managed to get the cloud under control. The pegasus shouted a flurry of apologies before zipping off. Derpy breathed a sigh of relief as she continued on but a wave of mud covering her halted the mare in her steps. Big Mac gave her a nervous, and embarrassed, smile before trotting off. “Great” Derpy thought, “What else could go wrong today?” She made her way to Sugarcube Corner for a quick muffin before she headed home.

The bell to the bakery chimed as the pink pony greeted the gray pegasus with a fresh muffin. “Happy birthday Derpy!” Pinkie greeted. Derpy giggled as she snatched the muffin and began nibbling on it. She tried her hardest to stay positive after her outburst but Pinkie could tell something was off. Her Pinkie Sense was sure of it. The pink mare asked why she was feeling out of it, but Derpy couldn’t confess. All the gray mare could do was order an apology cake and have it delivered to Rarity.

-000-

Derpy works ever so hard. Doc thought. She deserves a nice party. Something special for my special mare. He paused for a moment at his own thoughts. He thought of Derpy as not only special but his special mare. He took a second to collect his thoughts. He cared deeply for Derpy, very much so, and wanted to make this party extra special for her. He froze in his steps when he heard the door creek open but calmed once he saw it was Dinkey. The small unicorn had a concerned look on her face as she approached the amber stallion. “Doc…” She said quietly. “I think Momma isn’t doing okay.”

“Are you certain?” He asked with a concerned voice. He might have to call the party off if Derpy isn’t in the mood for it. Dinky continued what she saw.

“I was walking home from school and heard a huge noise at momma’s work so I checked it out but had to quickly hide because it was momma! So I secretly followed momma all day and her day has been getting worse and worse and-” Dinky was cut off by Golden Harvest stuffing a muffin in her mouth.

“Thank you.” Doc whispered.

Golden Harvest winked as she turned her attention back to the cake. Doc rubbed his forehoof under his chin as he gave it some thought.

-000-

Derpy had come up to her doorstep with a defeated look. Her birthday was the day Celestia laughed at her. As she opened the door she expected a big “SURPRISE!” from everypony in town, but that wasn’t the case. Her living room was empty. THe only remnants of the planned party was the big muffin cake on the dining room table. Dinky was nuzzled on the couch reading a book. Her daughter looked up with a big grin of glee and she ran up to hug her forehooves. “Happy birthday momma.” She said quietly. Derpy stroked Dinky’s mane tenderly and kissed her forehead. “Where’s Doc?” Derpy was curious. He practically lived with her with all the times he’d stay over either watching Dinky or just keeping her company.

He works so hard for me and Dinky…

“He’s making you a nice dinner.” Replied the filly as she looked back to her book. Derpy got a glimpse of what she was reading and rolled her eyes with a smirk. In the kitchen Derpy saw Doc at the stove with a pot of, what she assumed, was soup. Doc looked back to the pegasus with a shocked expression. “Derpy!” he gasped, “Didn’t expect you home so soon.”

“Uncle Postmen let me off early today.” She gave a nervous chuckle. She didn’t want to worry Doc about her outburst earlier. Without another word Derpy walked up and silently rested her head against his neck. The stallion gave a slight blush as he wrapped his right forehoof around her. As she snuggled into him he could feel tears welling in her eyes. The two stayed like that for a good ten minutes before separating. Doc wiped away a tear from her eye and gave her a comforting smile.

“Happy Birthday Muffin.” His comforting words were followed by a light peck on the cheek.

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