Chronicles of the Reformed

by The_Darker_Fonts

Chapter 4: Going Mad

Cozy Glow was in a mood. She wasn’t sure if it was a good mood or a bad mood, and if something happened, it would probably tip the scales. But for the moment, she was stuck in this limbo between anger and positivity.

On the one hoof, this past week hadn’t been as insufferable as she’d suspected, and for the most part, when she and Starlight interacted, it wasn’t in a negative manner. On the other hoof, she was still stuck here. Her wings hadn’t healed yet, and were still stiff, constricting painfully whenever she attempted to flap them. The windows were still unlocked, and even if they weren't, she could have easily broken through. Although, with her wings as weak as they were, she couldn’t fully trust the strength she felt in her hooves either. Even though she could, even run on occasion, she hadn’t used her hooves for brute force… ever.

She wasn’t sure exactly how she was supposed to react to her whole situation. She was incredibly relieved that it wasn’t her fate to be trapped in stone for millenia, but at the same time, was it worth it to be surrounded by the same ponies who made her go mad in the first place? And besides, stone wasn’t that bad, although the effects of being released from it were quite horrendous. Despite suffering through three or so months within her “time-out”, she was still quite keenly evil, at least in some way, and surely Twilight and Starlight had already seen that coming. That was actually the reason she was stuck here, she guessed, and not in Ponyville with the other Elements “teaching” her.

On the other hoof, she was still helpless, still ever reliant on the care forced down her throat from Starlight. She was always one to take care of herself, and ever since she’d been released from her stone imprisonment, she’d felt humiliated by the constant weakness that came with freedom. It kept getting on her nerves how she would wake up to the smell of breakfast cooking, hating that somehow Starlight had awoken earlier than she to ensure she was fed. She could do it herself, dang it, but for some reason Starlight couldn’t get that through her goodie-two-shoes head. No matter what she said or did, her overprotective keeper was always watching out for her, when she could most obviously do it herself.

All of this, of course, came out of the “goodness of her heart”, but as the days turned into the first week, she wasn’t exactly sure whether those quotation marks were validated or not. Unfortunately, she couldn’t tell if how Starlight was acting was the actual image, or just an act to win Cozy over. And even if it was an act, was what she was attempting to hide even sinister in the slightest? The more she contemplated it, the more she found that Starlight was technically the one in the right in their conversations, and not herself. And the more she realized that, the more she began to wonder if indeed she had truly been the villainess that ponies told her.

She often revelled in evil as a word to describe her greatness, the only word that could comparably come close to describing her immense power and superiority, but now, she was wondering if the technical definition was the true word to describe her. After all, Tirek had been evil, quite naturally, and literally so as well, but he had also been the only being as powerful as an alicorn, and those were most obviously the ones in the wrong half of the time. Tirek was in the wrong, and had proudly adopted the term “evil” as a badge of pride, perhaps even as a show of power.

Chrysalis had done the same as well, happily taking on the mantle of being the most evil ruler in all of Equestria, which was why when she was described as evil, she had accepted the word as a term for her immense power. After all, Chrysalis and Tirek had been powerful, so surely if ponies had begun calling her “evil”, she must be viewed as powerful as well. Right? Oh pony feathers, maybe she had just been, like Starlight had insensitively suggested, following after the lead of her older peers to fit in. So, as it was, she was simply following after the hoofsteps of those who she familiarized herself with.

Cozy grumbled, hopelessly rolling over in her bed as she tried to force these thoughts out of her head. It was all of these terrible insecurities that were clashing with the cheerfulness of her situation that were causing her such distress, and it was becoming more and more obvious to Cozy that if they didn’t resolve themselves soon, she would permanently be stuck in uncertainty. She hadn’t been sleeping or eating much because of these thoughts, which were becoming more prevalent as her body healed. Some days she wished that she didn’t wake up from dreamless sleep, because it meant facing another day of overexaggerated cheerfulness to clash with her natural want to be grumpy.

She almost laughed as she realized that the more she wanted to be grumpy to combat the brightness around her, the more confused she became, and thus more truthfully grumpy. Then, in turn, when she was actually grumpy, she couldn’t be grumpy about the things that Starlight was kindly doing for her, simply accepting it quietly and moving on. This whole situation was beating her down mentally, and whether she meant to or not, Starlight was making her want to leave simply to know how she felt rather than finding out who she actually was. After all, she couldn’t tell if she couldn’t get a wrap on what emotions were truly hers and what were simply thoughts from an older life.

Rolling her face into the pillow she lay on, she screamed as loud as she could into the soft bedding, losing her breath after about twenty seconds. That was longer than before, she noted dully as she rolled back around to face the ceiling. Her lung capacity was strengthening, as was the rest of her body, but they weren’t anywhere near as strong as they were before the encasement. For Celestia’s sake, she’d been able to carry a tango with two tone deaf costars at one point, but now she could barely say three or four sentences in one sitting before beginning to pant softly.

Growling, she slammed her face back down into the pillow and grumbled words that came to her head. The pillow muffled them well, which immediately became a blessing as she heard the doors to her room open. If Starlight had walked in on that line of thought, with that many questionable words… Cozy giggled at the thought, which became her undoing, as Starlight called softly, “Couldn’t sleep either?”

Knowing she’d been caught, and seeing no point in resisting, Cozy muttered, “Yeah, I don’t find it too comfortable to sleep in a mansion in the middle of the forest with a sworn enemy.”

Starlight sighed as she asked, “Why can’t you stop that? I’m not your enemy anymore, and I never wanted to be enemies in the first place. Can’t we please just forgive and forget? I mean, I know it can’t be easy to forgive a pony after they’ve done something terrible to you, but please, I’ve been trying to show you my trust for you. And for some reason, you’ve proven yourself trustworthy, despite everything I was led to believe, just like I’d hoped you would.”

“What do you mean,” Cozy questioned, sitting up and staring at Starlight, who’d gotten uncomfortably close to the bed.

“Well, I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but the windows and doors have been unlocked ever since you arrived, and never once have you gone outside,” Starlight told her. “I was trying to see if you truly were what we thought you were, and whether or not you had actually changed, or were simply attempting to earn my trust to turn it against me.”

“Well I never,” Cozy spat sardonically, glaring at Starlight, but sensing where this was going very quickly.

“That’s right, you don’t ever, not even when the front door is left open,” Starlight agreed, her voice soft but firm. “You never take the opportunities I give you to escape, even though you obviously still hate me and wish to be anywhere but here.”

“Well, I don’t hate you, more strongly dislike,” Cozy corrected thoughtfully. “And I can name five places that are worse than here. Shall I name them?”

“Thank you, but no, you don’t have to,” Starlight stoically continued, her voice still soft. “You see, Cozy, the whole reason you’re here is because you still have something in you, some vestige of your being, that wants to be good, in spite of every other piece of you attempting to be evil.”

“Hey, I can name several parts of me that are still good,” Cozy suggestively commented. The jab was a direct hit, and Starlight’s face instantly lit up bright red at the indecent comment, looking away from the filly in embarrassment. See if you think I’m all sweet and innocent after that, she thought to herself. She sometimes forgot that she was older than she was, and other times forgot that she was supposed to act younger than she was, but in a situation such as this, it was better to be younger. After all, no little filly would ever make such a risque comment, and indeed, one wasn’t making one.

“The point is,” Starlight hurriedly moved on, “that the only reason you are here instead of encased completely in stone is because there is still good in you. Perhaps it was only just developed, like with Nightmare Moon, or maybe it has always been there, merely being hidden by the evil surrounding you, but there is good in you. I want to capitalize on that as much as you’ll allow me to. I want you to still be able to live your life out, because otherwise we as a nation have failed you, and I don’t like the prospect of that being on anypony’s shoulders.”

Cozy clenched her teeth and looked away from the mare, feeling her mood tip quite easily away from positivity, and beyond that of anger. She felt the inevitable rage building up inside her, and with it came a storm of words she’d kept within her, attempting to at least give the mare a chance. Now, as Starlight began trying to force feed these new concepts and theories down her throat, she felt those words begin to ripple up her whole throat, pressing against her tongue. Puffing her cheeks out like she always did when she was frustrated, she glared at the pillow by her head, refusing to make eye contact with Starlight.

“Look, I know you don’t want to accept this, and I know personally how hard it is to be wrong, but please listen,” she insisted. “Nopony wants another grand battle, or even an argument. Everypony just wants to live their lives the way they want to, and I’m sure that includes you, but that can’t happen in a world that’s constantly on edge for another menace. Please, just promise me right now that you won’t become that menace that makes everypony afraid again. Whether or not you stay, I want you to know that I do care about you. You remind me of all those mistakes I made after I became bitter with those around me, and I don’t want to watch somepony else go down that path as well.”

“Then why don’t you act real around me,” Cozy exploded, turning her head sharply to glare right into Starlight’s lavender eyes. “You always act like you were once me, but how come you never act like you know what I’m going through, huh? You say that you saw the mistakes you made come back to life in me, but you do nothing to actually try and change me, just kindness kindness kindness! What did you want when you felt like nopony cared, like everypony else in the entire world hated you? You wanted them to be authentic, to act like actual ponies, and not some sort of perfect, kindly, two-face Princess! But that’s how you’re acting now, right? Don’t actually try to deny it, because I can see your face, and you know that it’s true!”

Cozy paused to catch her breath, and in a moment of clarity, she saw that she was standing on the top of her bed, staring down at a sitting, terrified Starlight. Her pupils had shrunken in fear, and Cozy almost felt bad, but immediately, she continued her rant.

“You said that you’ve cared about me, that you didn’t want it to come to me being imprisoned, but quite frankly, I wouldn’t care much if I were put back. It was better to be trapped within stone than to be tortured by this suffocating, artificial kindness that makes my head spin and my legs wobble. There is no way in the wide world of Equestria that anything you're doing here is for me explicitly, because, as you’ve said yourself, you were simply trying to clear your conscience. Well I’m done being a guilt trip, thank you very much. If you want what’s best for me, shut up and forget about me, because I’m leaving!”

Without another word or thought, she jumped off of the bed and walked over to the window. Not wanting to waste the time to open it, she slammed her hoof into the pane, which popped out of its place and fell to the forest floor below. Turning back around to gauge Starlight’s reaction, she was surprised to see that, while indeed she had stood up, she was only staring at her sadly, not moving a muscle. Cozy’s resolve softened slightly as she asked harshly, “You gonna stop me?”

“I promised I wouldn’t,” Starlight quietly reminded her, her voice as sorry as she looked. “Just promise that, even if you still hate me, you’ll be back before the sun’s down all the way,” she instructed.

“No,” Cozy denied sharply, adding a glare as she turned back around and lept out of the window. She spread her wings and caught a slight updraft, allowing her to glide between the trees. She began flapping her wings, giving herself altitude, wincing as a slight ache in her wings intensified. Without looking back, she flew away in the open morning air.

Author's Note:

Well, our dearest Cozy seems to have gone quite mad. Wonder what happens when a little filly escapes into the forest.

Comments

[asdtroi8895]

Great chapter! Still loving all the details of Cozy's recovery. I do hope she comes back though.

Chrysalis had done the same as well, happily taking on the mantle of being the most evil ruler in all of Equestria, which was why when she was described as evil, she had accepted the word as a term for her immense power. After all, Chrysalis and Tirek had been powerful, so surely if ponies had begun calling her “evil”, she must be viewed as powerful as well. Right?

That is a very childish way of looking at it. I suppose its fitting.

“You always act like you were once me, but how come you never act like you know what I’m going through, huh? You say that you saw the mistakes you made come back to life in me, but you do nothing to actually try and change me, just kindness kindness kindness! What did you want when you felt like nopony cared, like everypony else in the entire world hated you? You wanted them to be authentic, to act like actual ponies, and not some sort of perfect, kindly, two-face Princess! But that’s how you’re acting now, right? Don’t actually try to deny it, because I can see your face, and you know that it’s true!”

Ouch, perhaps Starlight should mix in a different approach to what she already has. Not neccesarely give up on being kind and caring, but try to do something else next to it.

[AllenVth]

Cozy no, don't go alone out to the dangerous forest. Starlight better make that clutch save when Cozy needs it!

[The_Darker_Fonts]

10845744
Don't worry, this isn't the Everfree. Nothing bad can happen... I think...

[5u0myn0n4]

I feel bad for Starlight here. She took a chance on Cozy and truly believed there was good in her, but unfortunately her good faith bit her back this time.

Cozy’s resolve softened slightly as she asked harshly, “You gonna stop me?”

“I promised I wouldn’t,” Starlight quietly reminded her,

As Cozy regains gains control of her actions, she can't help but express distain towards Starlight, but I suppose it's not unwarranted, and I think Starlight realizes this. After what they did to her, it's impossible for her to see Starlight and the rest of Equestria as anything but the enemy. Starlight can smother Cozy with all the love she can, but for whatever reason that just isn't doing it for her, at least not yet. Perhaps some fresh air and open space will do the filly some good.

[The_Darker_Fonts]

10856506
Nothing bad ever happens in the forest...

[Prol]

And so, is there any hope for a sequel?

[The_Darker_Fonts]

11564378
Well, I don't want to spoil anything, but continuation is planned. Very soon.