Three Seasons

by shakealchemist

Therapeutic Stargazing

Author's Note:

Warning for bullying that leads to fear of death.

Stargazer is named after an Aviators' album. As a huge fan of his music, I had to sneak in a reference somewhere.

Tomorrow is my birthday! I hope you all enjoy the chapter!

Dash checked herself out in the mirror, seeing that her injuries were healing nicely. 'Just in time for me to get more.' She humored herself as it was the Junior Speedsters' bye week, so it would be practice today instead of a game. She glanced around her bathroom bored as she thought of what to do till it was a close enough time to leave. She had planned to sleep in, but her parents had woken her up early for whatever reason. At least now they were busy talking with some visitor.

"Dashie! Could you come down here please?"

Dash rolled her eyes at her mother's call. 'Go figure.' Annoyed, Dash trotted on downstairs and into the living room. "What is it?" She asked, not hiding her annoyance. She ended up locking eyes with the visiting stallion. He was on the younger side, wore glasses, and looked very professional.

"Rainbow Dash, this is Doctor Stargazer. We would like for you to talk to him." Windy Whistle said.

"Uh . . . Why? Is something going on?" Rainbow was stuck between thinking her parents were trying to hook her up or somepony was seriously ill. Neither of which she believed.

"Miss Dash, I've talked with your parents and they, along with others, say that you are depressed." Stargazer opened with.

"Oh . . . you're that kind of doctor." Dash rolled her eyes. 'I was worried for no reason.' "Look, sorry your time was wasted, but I'm not depressed." Dash readily turned away about to leave.

"Rainbow, Please . . ."

"Just sit down and talk to him for ten minutes." Her mother and father pleaded.

"It's not just your family that's worried about you. There's also a Miss . . ." Stargazer flipped through his notes. ". . .Rarity, and-"

As he listed more names Dash didn't listen. She was too lost in her head at Rarity's name. 'I guess talking to him won't be so bad. I'll give it a shot, for Rarity.' "Fine, but only ten minutes." Dash said suddenly, interrupting him. "And can we go to my room for some privacy?"

"Sure, of course. Lead the way."

Once they reached her room Dash laid out comfortably on her bed and watched Stargazer awkwardly look for a seat before he settled for sitting down in her beanbag chair. She was surprised at how he held his professional posture in the seat. "So is it just Stargazer, or . . ." Dash broke the ice with.

"Just Stargazer." He nodded. "And what would you like me to call you?"

"Definitely not Miss. Just Dash, Rainbow, or R.D. are all fine."

"Alright. Rainbow, are you ready to get down to the root of the problem?"

Dash stared at him for a moment before she realized he was seriously asking for permission to do his job. "Sure, whatever you think said problem is." Dash answered, rolling her eyes as she stared up at the ceiling.

"Well, that poses a great question Rainbow. What made you attempt to end your own life?"

That question hit Dash hard and she sat up to look at Stargazer surprised. 'How does he know that? The only pony who knows that besides me . . . Rarity.' Dash felt too much of a mix of emotions to avoid the question. "A lot of things . . . one thing, really."

"That narrows it down. Let's work from there. What's that one thing?"

"How worthless I am." Dash replied staring blankly into nothingness.

"And what makes you believe that?"

"Me, my own actions. How I sabotage my own relationships and get no better at hoofball. Others tell me I am as well." Dash listed off.

"Who tells you that?"

". . . Bullies." She said with a sigh after a brief pause.

"And you take their word for it? You don't care for any of their other opinions, do you?"

"No, but-"

Stargazer set his notepad down. "They are bullies for a reason. They don't want you happy. Your parents, Rarity, and friends still stand happily by your side and even I can tell from your record that you are an incredible hoofball player, but you know all of this. So what's causing this doubt is more of a core problem. Tell me more about these bullies. What do they do?"

Dash nodded slowly at what he said, it made sense, he was right about it all so far. Maybe Dumbbell and Hoops were the source of her depression. Subconsciously she pulled her Rarity plush from next to her pillow and into her lap. "Well, they do what bullies do, call me names, beat me up . . . the do whatever to make me feel terrible." Dash said shrugging it off.

"The bullying doesn't bother you?" He questioned her tone with surprise.

"No, of course, I hate it . . . but better me than somepony else."

That had been a first for Stargazer to hear. "What makes you say that? Did a friend of yours get bullied?"

Dash nodded. "This . . . this one time changed everything."

~First Year of Flight Camp~

Fluttershy had found a quiet little hideaway spot away from everypony else to eat her lunch. She hummed a happy little tone as she pulled a dandelion sandwich from her saddlebag. No sooner was it in hoof that another hoof swung in and knocked it out onto the cloud she sat on.

"Oops, sorry." Dumbbell said sarcastically and stomped on the sandwich as an extra insult.

"It's- . . . it's okay. I don't mind." Fluttershy muttered softly, keeping her eyes low.

"You don't, huh? How about if I help myself to what you have left?" Hoops kicked up her saddlebag and dug around inside it.

"No, I . . . sharing." Fluttershy's whimpering was so bad those three words were the only words anypony could make out.

"Aw, that's cute. Is that a new bag?" Dumbbell smirked as Hoops fished out some carrot sticks and munched on them.

Fluttershy only trembled as she couldn't seem to shrink into herself anymore.

"Maybe this one should join the other over the cloud's edge." He added devilishly.

"NO! Pl-please don't . . ." Fluttershy started to cry.

"That's enough! Leave her alone!" Dash sped in, bumped Hoops aside, and snatched Fluttershy's saddlebag back.

"No need to be rude Crash, we're just enjoying lunch. Care to join us?" Dumbbell asked innocently.

"Yeah, I got a hoof sandwich for ya right here!" Dash shook a hoof angrily at him after tossing Fluttershy her bag back. Only she appeared to notice Fluttershy fly away upwards at her slow pace.

"Bring it!" Dumbbell challenged.

Dash rushed forward in a blink and struck Dumbbell in his face. He took it like a champ and was able to throw Dash into a headlock and onto the cloud surface. "Get ofh-" Dash tried to protest but found her mouth overstuffed as Dumbbell shoved Fluttershy's crushed sandwich into her mouth. It was annoying and gross at first, but when trying to spit it out she was met with him shoving it further. It caused her to start choking. Coughing and gagging, Dash tapped his hoof trying to alert him to this. With no success, she turned her gaze to Hoops who started laughing at her.

"Ha! Little Crash is so scared she's crying!" Hoops pointed mockingly as he laughed.

"This should show you who the better pony is. You should stick to your age group and do filly things instead of competing against us." Dumbbell warned her, holding her in place.

Dash flailed about what little she could in a desperate attempt to free herself as panic overwhelmed her from her lungs begging for air.

"Come on Crash, if you really wanna breath then eat it."

Seeing no other option, Dash bit down only to learn the hard way that had made no difference. The bitten-off piece was too big to swallow, there was no room to chew, and Dumbbell's hoof blocked its only other way out. Dash felt her body giving up, her struggling and squirming limbs slowed to a stop and her vision started to blur and fade to black. It hit her that she might not wake up from this when suddenly Dumbbell let her go. She had no clue what instinct or bodily function decided to take action, but the first thing she did was throw up. It may have saved her life, but her next two deep inhales drew the bile back down the wrong pipe, thus beginning a painful cycle of coughing, gagging, and gasping. Her struggle to regain her regular breath was slowly won as a soothing hoof rubbed her back. Lying there with harsh raspy breaths, Dash looked up to see it was Fluttershy. She looked concerned yet was muted by the sight of Rainbow's condition. "Where did you go?" Dash was barely able to ask.

"I-I was hovering right above. I saw everything. A-are you okay?"

That made Dash feel a mix of embarrassment that Fluttershy had seen her as such a low point, and anger. Dash forced her hooves to stand, albeit shakily. "You just hovered there and watched?! You didn't get help or help me yourself! Thanks a lot, Flutters. Some friend you turned out to be." Dash spat and pushed her away.

The following day Dash was using her free time to fly through an obstacle course to burn off steam, but she grew frustrated after a couple of tries where she'd finish quickly but with several clips of her wing into hoops and poles at tight turns. 'Come on Dash, you're better than that. get out of your own head.' She scolded herself and flew off to the side to sit for a breather.

"Hey Crash, you hungry for seconds?"

Dash jumped to her hooves and faced Dumbbell. 'Of course, he would wait till I was tired.' "Leave me alone Dumb, I'm not in the mood to fight today." She shot back.

"Good. Neither am I." Dumbbell nodded and Dash found herself grabbed from behind and thrown down. Hoops had her pinned down. "So Crash . . . what are you hungry for today?" Dumbbell asked, looking around for something foul to force-feed her.

"Leave her alone! . . . Please."

All three of them turned their heads to Fluttershy in surprise at her words.

Dumbbell smirked. "Change of plans." He muttered. "Yeah, no problem." He said to Fluttershy, trotting up to her.

"No! Fluttershy, run!" Dash cried out, desperately trying to free herself. Yet Fluttershy timidly held her ground.

"No need for that . . . we're all being friends here." He put a hoof around Fluttershy as he spoke.

". . .Th-then let Rainbow Dash up . . . If you don't mind." Fluttershy added toward Hoops.

"That's an idea . . . How about this?" Dumbell leveled Fluttershy with a sucker punch and started beating her while she was down.

"NO! Please stop! Leave her alone!" Dash cried, unable to do anything other than watch as Fluttershy screamed.

~~~

Rainbow Dash took a deep breath and let it go.

Stargazer passed her a box of tissues.

"Thanks." Dash sniffled, taking one and then using it to blow her nose.

"It must've been hard to have been forced to watch your friend get beat up trying to stand up for you." Stargazer said taking note of how brutal Dash's bully experiences had been.

"All because of what I had said to her . . . She was so bloodied . . . I carried her in my hooves sobbing, 'I'm sorry, I'm sorry' over and over again. She went home for a week . . . her parents almost didn't send her back. Not that I would've blamed them. Turned out the only reason they did was because she kept begging to see me, her only friend, again. Some friend I turned out to be." Dash hung her head low.

"How did your relationship with Fluttershy turn out?"

"We were inseparable. The closest of best friends and I protected her after that fight. We made flight camp one of the best times of our lives. She never finished flight camp and moved down to Ponyville, at such a young age it surprised me and I lost contact with her up until Rarity reintroduced us not so long ago." Dash smiled softly at the happier memories.

"You and Fluttershy are still friends then. I'd like to hear more about you and her if you'd like."

"Yeah, sure . . . When we first met . . ." Dash carried on detailing her friendship with Fluttershy, going far beyond the ten minutes she had agreed to.

***

Rarity figured it was a good day. The Junior Speedsters' practice went as smoothly as usual and Rainbow's sparring with Misty Dawn had been relatively tame and laid back. So when Rainbow came out of the locker room looking ticked off, Rarity was caught off guard. "Dashie?" Rarity asked confused by what could possibly be wrong. Dash ignored her and trotted on toward the stadium seating, further throwing Rarity off. "Dashie?" Rarity repeated.

"My parents hired a therapist for me." Dash said, grumpily carrying on.

Rarity could tell by her tone that wasn't quite the problem though. "Well, I-" Rarity started as they exited the tunnel and into the seating area.

"And he knew about my suicide attempt. Something I had only told you, in confidence mind you." Dash said crossly, taking a seat in the nearest row, leaving a seat open for Rarity to sit next to her.

Rarity stood stunned for a moment. She hadn't considered that nopony else knew, but it didn't matter anyways. "I had to Rainbow. I was so worried about you, I had trouble sleeping at night. I wanted to help you, so I told my dad who told your parents. So if you really wanna be mad then . . ." Rarity took a deep breath, overwhelmed by frustration at how Dash was turning another caring gesture into a fight.

"Part of me wants to . . . but I understand why you had and hearing that . . . thank you." Dash admitted somberly.

"And?" Rarity asked, now sitting next to her.

"And I have another appointment scheduled with Dr.Stargazer next week after the semifinals." Dash answered knowing what information she was seeking.

Rarity smiled and cuddled up to Dash. "I love you Dashie."

***

'It's just another game', advice Dash took to heart and so it was. Gilda picked the defense apart with Dash and Sunbeam getting open all game. It was hardly a close game with their opponents only making it a two-score game late. The Speedsters took the celebration of their earned trip to the championship from the field to the locker room. So it was no surprise that it took Rainbow a few minutes longer than usual to come out to see Rarity. Though when she did, she burst through the door and performed an excited flip.

"Whoo!" Dash flew into Rarity's hooves, lifting her up into the air in an embrace.

"Rainbow!" Rarity gasped holding on tightly to her, mostly out of fear.

Dash gave her a big kiss before setting her down. "You were right Rarity. You said to play like any other game, and I did, and we won!"

"I saw darling! You did amazing." Rarity nuzzled her and she looked past her to the surprising sight of her grinning father. 'Oh right, as coach this victory is as much his as hers.' She realized.

"We were wondering if you wanted to join us?" Hondo asked.

"Oh, um . . . no thank you. I'll join the party at home after you clean up. What is that? Cider?" Rarity inquired, patting the stickiness Dash had spread to her chest fur.

"Well yeah, We're having a ball Rarity. Come on, join us." Dash pleaded with big eyes.

"I'm sorry darling, but I'm afraid it's not my type of ball. You enjoy yourself, I'll catch you at home." She encouraged her and kissed her cheek.

***

"So this is your idea of a ball?" Dash asked with a hint of annoyance.

Rarity was brushing Dash's rainbow mane in her room at her dresser. "No. My idea of a ball would be a big room with classical music, cute colts- . . . to be jealous of us two." Rarity added correcting her slip-up.

"Nice save." Dash complemented her effort.

Rarity cleared her throat, embarrassed. "But most importantly, dancing. Oh! We should do that for Hearts and Hooves day. Let's go dancing." Rarity bounced excitedly at her own recommendation.

"Maybe." Dash shrugged.

"Maybe?" Rarity questioned the response that had taken her aback as she set the brush down. "You're not backing out are you? You told your parents about it, right?"

"No, I'm not backing out. I told them and of course, they are super excited to meet you." Dash kicked a hoof out lazily.

"Oh, I'll have to put extra effort into our dresses. I want to make a good impression." Rarity clapped her hooves together, nervously brainstorming.

"You don't have to do that, I don't need a special dress . . . besides, when it comes to my parents, like me, they'll love you no matter what."

"Awww . . ." Rarity smiled sweetly.

"Just promise you won't be overwhelmed by their . . . enthusiasm, I guess you could call it.'

"They're doing an awe-inspiring job raising you, so I imagine I'll get along with them." Rarity reassured her.

'I hope so.' Dash kept to herself though she cracked a smile at Rarity's words.

"What better way to celebrate than with a preening?" Rarity asked trotting over to her bed.

"Really?" Dash perked up excitedly.

Rarity looked back with a sly smile and nodded.