I Cast Gun

by hamster wizard

The Rarity

“BANG!”

“What the shit!” Rarity let out a particularly unladylike curse as she jumped out of her skin and practically fell over.

A terrifying crack had burst forth from the doorway, and she quickly turned around to investigate. Standing before her was her friend Twilight, grinning ecstatically as a trail of gray smoke wafted from the tip of her horn. A fleck of plaster fell down before her, and Rarity glanced up to see a lovely hole punctured in her ceiling.

“Oi, Twilight!” Rarity greeted her friend with a forced smile. She smoothed her mane a tad, hoping that Twilight hadn’t noticed the brief slip of her accent. “What’re ya, I mean, whatever was that dreadful noise!? And why can’t I hear anything?!

“That’s gun!” Twilight said in a thrilled tone.

“What!?” Rarity leaned in as she shouted.

“That’s my new spell! I call it gun!”

“WHO’S A NUN?!” Rarity was practically screamed.

Twilight frowned a bit and responded, “Not nun! Gun!”

“I AGREE, THIS IS NO FUN!”

“Forget it! Just wait a second!”

“YOU’VE BEEN HIT!? Oh wait, it’s all coming back in.” Rarity took a deep breath, relishing in the return of her senses. “Ah, much better. Now, what the shit Twilight?”

Twilight’s maniacal grin returned, “It’s gun!”

“Gun?” Rarity asked with a concerned look on her face.

“Yes gun! Your new best friend! The ultimate problem solver!”

“Oh.” Rarity didn’t know what precisely to be impressed about, and settled on a neutral expression, “May I see it?”

“No.”

“Ah.” Rarity looked at Twilight, hoping to prompt a further explanation. After a moment of silence she asked, “Well why not?”

“It’s a spell. You cast it.” Twilight explained matter of factly.

“And it’s called gun?”

“Indeed.”

“Why? What is gun?”

“You see, the name is derived from a specific historical weapon, the Domina Gunhilda, a certain ballista of particularly large specifications. The term Gunhilda itself is derived from the old Horse name Gunhildr, a combination of two Horse words pertaining to battle.”

Rarity stared at her, “What does that mean?”

“It means I named it gun because it shoots real good. By the by-” Twilight cut herself off to fish into her saddlebag, pulling something out, “Earplugs! Blessed be!” She passed a pair to Rarity, who obliged and crammed them in.

“So, what now?”

Twilight turned to face a standing mirror on the far end of Rarity’s design studio. She took an offensive stance as her horn lit with a magical aura, “Now, I focus my magic, an explosive force ready to burst forth from my horn! Welling up, closer and closer to the climax! Here it comes!”

“Oh behave!”

“And then, you stand erect, thrust forward and… BANG!” Another shot fired off from her horn, breaking both the sound barrier and Rarity’s mirror. Twilight blew upwards on her smoking horn.

“And voila!” She said proudly.

“Oh well, that was impressive wasn’t it? So will you be paying for my new cheval mirror? Those are expensive you know.” Rarity said sounding unimpressed.

“Thank you Rarity, this is my crowning achievement, if I do say so myself.”

“And so modest too.”

“Do you want to learn it?” Twilight looked at her friend with wide glistening eyes.

“Gun? Er, I’m not so sure.”

“Come on, it’s easy, I practically taught you already! Even a foal could use it!”

“CAN I TRY?!”

“GAH!” Both of them exclaimed as they turned to the doorway, seeing that the question had come from an excited looking Sweetie Bell watching the display.

“Sweetie Bell, how long have you been standing there?!” Rarity asked with concern.

“THE ENTIRE TIME! CAN I HAVE SOME EARPLUGS?! ALSO WHAT DOES CLIMAX MEAN?!” Sweetie Bell hopped up and down slightly as she yelled.

A few moment later Sweetie had finished putting in her earplugs, and her hearing had had a chance to return. She ran up to Twilight, and looked up at her with large awestruck eyes, “This is much better, thanks Twilight! So, can I gun? Please!” She pleaded.

Rarity blanched, “Sweetie, I appreciate your enthusiasm for learning. But the thing is, this is a serious spell. It’s not the sort of thing that children should be playing with.” She turned around and paced toward the window, “This kind of power should only be used by responsible adults. We can’t have children running around playing with something so dangerous!

“BANG!” Sweetie shouted, followed by another gunshot.

“FUCKING FUCK!” Rarity yelled as she spun, seeing a fresh hole in the ceiling and a thrilled Sweetie Bell with a smoking horn.

“Thanks Twilight! I’m gonna go gun all over town! BANG!” Sweetie fired another shot toward the ceiling as she dashed out of the room.

Twilight wistfully watched her run off, “Ah, youth. Treasure it Sweetie Bell. Treasure it dearly.” She sounded quite proud.

“Twilight, darling. My chum.” A chill crept into Rarity’s tone, “Why?”

“Why what?” Twilight asked innocently.

“Do I really need to explain it?”

“Are you asking why I taught your sister how to use the gun spell?” Twilight guessed.

“No.”

“Oh, well then--”

“Yes I’m asking that!” Shouted Rarity.

“Well, because she asked.”

“Fantastic” Rarity facehooved, slowly dragging her hoof down. Revealing her exhausted complexion, “Twilight. You’re my friend, one of my very best even. I love you. And please understand when I say this, but I love my sister more.”

“That’s really sweet Rarity. Family is important after all.”

“Let me finish. I love my sister more than anything in the world. She’s very dear to me. I love her but she’s a menace. Have you ever thought about why she lives with me, her elder sister, instead of her perfectly capable and able-bodied parents?”

“Oh! Well, no. I suppose I haven’t.” Twilight sat on the floor as she pondered this.

“Let me tell you why. She burned down our house.”

There was a tentative pause. Twilight looked to Rarity expecting more to the story.

“And?” She finally asked.

“Then she burned it down a second time.”

“Well, these things happen.”

“Once. They happen once. It’s expected that you won’t let a repeat of such an event transpire. So now she lives with me, and now it’s my job to keep her from safe and secure. There isn’t a single fire source in this building. I don’t own a stove. And lo and behold Twilight, please tell me what you just did.” Rarity evened a glare at her friend as she gave the order.

“I taught her the gun spell!” Came Twilight’s enthusiastic response.

“Yes! That you did darling. Darling, you did indeed do that darling. Didn’t you darling?” Her voice began to drift off as she went on.

“Are you okay Rarity?” Said Twilight, sounding a bit more concerned.

“Yes darling, I’m perfect. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go after my sister. Please, feel free to knock down a few walls before you leave. Ta ta!” Rarity shambled out of the room, grabbing nearby fire extinguisher off the wall as she left.

Twilight watched her leave before turning to look at herself in the broken mirror. “She must be having a rough day.” Twilight then stood up, and enthusiastically said, “Oh well, science waits for no mare!”

Author's Note:

I read about the origin of the word gun on Wikipedia. I didn't fact check it. I'm the unconfirmed source your history teacher warned you about.

Comments

[DOOMRIDER]

I read about the origin of the word gun on Wikipedia. I didn't fact check it. I'm the unconfirmed source your history teacher warned you about.

Neat!

[Acadians6545]

That teacher was always a chode...and extremely creepy towards underaged children, so fuck him.

[Draco Dei]

10763050
I... never would have guessed that was as close to Wikipedia as it was if you had not mentioned it. I assumed (something I especially try to avoid) that you were just throwing in a thin excuse for why they were using a human word for something without lead, gunpowder, or a barrel. Maybe I'm not explaining that last bit very well, but I can't tell.

[DrCygnus]

This is Beauty