Letters From The Enemy Inside

by The Sleepless Beholder

The Vomit-Stained Letter

Dear Twilight [CENSORED],

You massive [CENSORED], you [CENSORED] poisoned my hot coco! What the [CENSORED] is wrong with you! I’ve been throwing up all [CENSORED] morning and I feel like [CENSORED].

I was going to go [CENSORED] easy on you, but this is a declaration of total [CENSORED] war!

When the [CENSORED] day comes, you will regret ever been [CENSORED] born, you massive piece of [CENSORED], [CENSORED], [CENSORED] [CENSORED].

Your [CENSORED] [CENSORED] [CENSORED],
Starlight Glimmer.

---

Dear Starlight Glimmer,

Due to your more than colorful language, I took the liberty of casting a censoring spell on this and any future letter you or Twilight write.

Your watchful monarch,
Princess Celestia.

PS: I will also have a talk with Twilight about this more than unnecessary action.

---

Dear princess Celestia,

I’m not apologizing.

Your faithful student,
Twilight Sparkle.

Comments

[Venerable Ro]

Oh dear, never anger a spellcrafter. I recommend that everything eaten within the confines of the castle taste irretrievably of cheese.

Also, how/why is Celestia getting Twilight's mail? Is Spike CCing her?

[The Sleepless Beholder]

10473262
We all know Celestia keeps a very close eye on Twilight at all times

[Mystic Sunrise]

Welp. Twilight just undid all the good these letters were doing. It felt like Starlight was starting to come around and not go through with her revenge scheme.

No more. Now she will probably not even bother with the time spell nonsense, and just straight up try and murder the alicorn in question.

Could be wrong about all of this though.

[Vaguely Demented]

I like that Celestia spends more thought on bad language than the issue that provoked it. Good priorities there.

[The Sleepless Beholder]

10473742
What diplomatic discussions didn't involve at least a few drops of poison?

[The Sleepless Beholder]

10473892
That's good old Celly

[Mino Mortigan]

10473982
Good Old Celly? Good Ol' Celly . . . Ol' Celly . . . Olcelly . . . Ocelly . . . Ocellus! It's a conspiracy! One of the diarchs of Equestria has been replaced by a changeling spy! Obviously, a changeling wouldn't care about ponies fighting ponies, but they would care about language. Changelings are kinda dumb. Lovable, but dumb.