Chapter 4
Chapter 4
“So... What you’re telling me is that there’s a room on the map that disappears unless one is wearing your sunglasses?”
“That’s what I’m telling you!”
“But- Vinyl. How is that even-”
The cellist was cut off as a loud crash came from somewhere ahead of them, down the hall. The two mares looked at each other blankly for a heartbeat, then dashed in the direction of the noise.
They paused at a flight of stairs, confused. Octavia looked at her companion imploringly.
“Vinyl! Check the map; what’s down there?”
The DJ, who was holding the map upside down, stared at it for a moment before shrugging and tossing it over her shoulder.
“Who cares? Let’s go!”
“Wait! Vinyl! Vinyl!”
The grey mare watched as the unicorn dashed down the stairs, leaving the map on the floor behind her. She gestured at it helplessly, then sighed and followed the DJ down the stairs.
She reached the lower hallway to see her companion galloping down it to a figure on the floor, tangled up with a suit of pony armor. Displays of armor such as that one were commonplace around Canterlot, but Octavia had never seen a pony move one. Or send one crashing to the ground, as was the case here.
The earth pony set off down the hallway, arriving at the fallen pony a few moments after Vinyl. The klutz seemed to be a member of the Royal Guard, one of Celestia’s white pegasi. He seemed quite the opposite of the guards’ usual stoic demeanor; in fact, by all appearances, he was still drunk from whatever had happened the night before. A door across the hall from him was open halfway, suggesting he had come from there.
He lifted his head at their hoofsteps, and grinned at them happily.
“I...fell down. BOOM!”
He waved his hooves in the air at ‘boom’, knocking another part of the armor flying. He looked after it, mildly confused, until Vinyl spoke.
“Somepony had a fun night, huh?”
The pegasus looked at her, grinning with the happiness only alcohol can bring. After a moment’s thought, he said, “Yeah! Yeah!”
Octavia stepped forward. “If he’s still drunk, that means he didn’t start drinking till later in the night. Maybe he still remembers something.” Addressing the stallion on the ground in front of them, she said, “Do you remember any of what happened?”
The guard closed one eye for a second, then opened it. He did it again. After a moment, the cellist realized he was trying to wink.
“Mares.”
Vinyl burst out laughing at the blissful expression of satisfaction on the stallion’s face. Octavia glanced at her with a cross between amusement and irritation before trying again.
“No, no. What happened last- Never mind. Listen, my friend and I are terribly lost... We’re looking for a large room with a treble clef on the ceiling. We don’t... er, we’re unclear about what happened last night. Would you happen to know where that is?”
The blue-maned DJ looked at her with amusement. “He’s stinking drunk, Tavi. He couldn’t find his plot with all four hooves!”
The pegasus heard her and turned his head. “I can, too! It’s right... um...” He poked his ear with a hoof.
Octavia was beginning to lose hope. She reached out and slapped the guard’s hoof away from his ear, which he was poking at absently.
“One more time. LARGE ROOM. TREBLE CLEF. Have you seen it?”
The stallion’s expression of confusion deepened. The cellist began to turn away when suddenly, it lightened. His entire face lit up. He opened his mouth.
“Treble clef?”
“Yes! Yes!” The earth pony was excited. “Where?”
“Mares!”
Vinyl started giggling. Octavia put a hoof to her face.
“No, not mares. I said treble clef. T-R-E-B-L-”
The guard shook his head. He pointed at the door across the hall from there, where he had come out of. “Mares!”
The cellist glanced back at her fillyfriend. “Vinyl, he’s useless. Can we go pick up the map you so carelessly tossed on the ground, now?”
But the DJ wasn’t listening. She crossed to the door curiously, using her magic to open it all the way. She glanced inside, and promptly starting laughing again.
“Tavi... Oh, Tavi, why didn’t we stay here?”
The cellist, confused, stepped over the guard who had returned to poking his ear and crossed to the door.
Inside lay a room much like the one they had woken up in. Same large bed, same door to the bathroom, even same piles of Applejack Daniels bottles. The only difference were the piles of-
“Mares!” The white pegasus from behind them said again.
And it was true. The room was full of mares; most of them royal maids, and a few others workers in the castle, by the look of them. Every available surface had some sort of pony draped on it. Nearly every mare was wearing some sort of undergarment. Spread throughout the room, in one corner, in several places on the bed, and all over the floor, lay a small contingent of royal guards. The mare-to-stallion ratio in the room was easily 3 to 1.
Vinyl chuckled and glanced back at the first pegasus, outside. “I’ll bet he did have a fun night. Why were we upstairs, missing all this?”
Octavia rolled her eyes, and then glanced at the DJ, puzzled. “Wait. Why are all the mares still wearing underclothes?”
The unicorn glanced at her, one eyebrow raised. “What are you talking about? Everypony knows that no clothes is normal. It’s only when ponies put on the clothes that things get saucy.”
“But... What? that doesn’t-”
Vinyl cut her off. “Besides, look!”
She pointed a hoof at the ceiling, where, emblazoned in a light purple, a treble clef looked down at them.
*** *** ***
“So, wait. You insulted the receptionist in the Canterlot greeting hall, and....?” The Princess of the Sun was getting nowhere fast with the handsome stallion who had ended up in her bedroom.
Braeburn looked confused. “Uhh, well, then... Ah think ah was thrown out. Yup. And then-”
He stopped, momentarily distracted by his hoof. Celestia put her own hoof to her face.
“Listen to me. Can you remember anything else about what happened yesterday?”
The stallion looked at her blankly for a moment before responding. “....Uhh... yeah! Ah remember, after Ah was thrown out, Ah was wanderin’ around, thinkin bout how badly Ah screwed it up... An’ there were these two little colts, can’ta been more than mah cousin Applebloom’s age, runnin around the grounds.”
The princess was intrigued. Though Canterlot had many ponies on its grounds, very rarely were there fillies and colts unattended. “What did they look like?”
Braeburn thought. “Well... uh... One was orange, and one was blue... And they were runnin’ around and runnin into stuff and yellin... They didn’t seem the brightest apples in the bushel, if you know what ah mean.”
‘Look who’s talking,’ thought Celestia. ‘At least you’re cute.’ “Anything else?”
The stallion’s eyes lit up, to some extent. “That’s right! Ah trotted over to them to maybe find out what they were doin’. But before ah could find out, they ran off! One of ‘em yelled “Over there, Snips! A cave!” and the other yelled back “Just like RD in the well!”
Braeburn stopped. “Ah dunno what that meant, but ah saw them runnin off through the sculpture garden, and stopped followin’ them.”
The alicorn’s mind was racing, as best it could through her still-present headache. She had no idea who those colts were; they must have come with their parents for the Gala tonight-
‘The Gala! Bucking son of a-’ Celestia cursed vilely in her mind. Nopony was in any shape to host the Gala, least of all her. Plus, the sun was still in the wrong place in the sky, and the royal guards were nowhere to be seen, and-
Her expression must have been shocking, because Braeburn drew back a little. “What? What is it?”
The Princess shook her head to clear it. “Nothing! Nothing. I just need to- wait.” She looked fiercely at the stallion, causing him to draw back even further. “ Did you say they went to a cave?”
The Appleloosan nodded several times, and Celestia cursed again. There was only one prominent cave entrance in the Canterlot sculpture garden, one that, until recently, had been boarded over and kept secret. It had been exposed during a musical escape during the last full-scale Canterlot wedding, involving a lot of love and singing, but-That didn’t matter. What mattered was that the entrance was open. She had been meaning to hide it again, but who had the time?
The entrance to the old caverns under the castle. With two colts in it. Who knew what was down there?
“This bucking day...”
Immediately, a barely suppressed giggle from behind her. Without hesitating, the Princess of the Sun whirled and leapt at the air, her headache screaming in protest. She felt herself pass a pony by just a hair, and then crashed to the floor in a heap. The gigging turned into full-scale laughing, and a dark blue alicorn materialized next to her. Luna was enjoying herself.
Braeburn attempted to jump out of the bed, but ended up only flopping away from the newly visible Princess. “Holy buck! Where in tarnation’ did you come from???”
The Princess of the Night glanced at him with amusement in her eyes, but the real entertainment was her sister. She looked back to Tia.
“My, my, Sister. A little slow on the leap, but... *ahem*... graceful, as always.”
“Oh shut up.” Celestia climbed to her hooves. “I knew you were there the whole time.”
Luna preened a bit. “I wasn’t trying to hide it.” She winked at her sister. “So, have you shown the handsome stallion over yonder the, shall we say, Royal Canterlot Bed?”
Celestia reddened slightly. She’d been considering it. Braeburn, across the room, took a second to put it together.
“Handsome stallion... Ya mean me?” His eyes widened. “With the Princess? Gosh, I-”
Celestia cut off and ignored him. “Haven’t had the chance to yet. At least I’ve got the nerve to go after the stallions, eh Sister?”
Luna stiffened a bit. Celestia could see she’d hit home. Luna never was very confident about romance, regardless of her teasing of it in others.
The Princess of the Sun continued. “And, if you were indeed listening, didn’t the fact that two undefended colts went down into the caverns by themselves concern you in any way?”
Luna’s expression was unreadable. “Oh, you’re right, Sister! We must charge down there and secure their safety!”
Celestia eyed her sister suspiciously. “You don’t sound convincing.”
Luna didn’t respond, just met her sister’s eyes. Neither blinked. Finally, the older sister backed down. “Ugh. This headache...! It’ll be a relief to get underground, at least. Come on, Loony, if you’re coming.”
Luna giggled at the nickname, and trotted out of the room. Celestia paused at the door and looked back at Braeburn, who was looking at her with a mixture of fear and attraction.
“You.” She pointed a hoof at him. “If I make it through this day alive, you had better still be in Canterlot. That’s all I’m going to say.”
The stallion looked unsure of himself, but far too intimidated to disobey her. ‘Good. Now to find out what had happened to those colts....’
The Princess of the Sun trotted out of the room.
*** *** ***
“So, I think next time we stay at Canterlot, we should hang out in our room more. I mean, it seems like so much fun...”
“Vinyl.”
“I mean, I’m just sayin’. Look at all these ponies. Do any of them look unsatisfied?”
“Vinyl!”
“Heck, I bet if we really get going, we can get the Princesses to join in! Then we’ll have some alicorn-sized fun-”
“Vinyl!”
“...Fine, fine. So we found our room. This ain’t going to do us any good.”
“‘Isn’t’.”
“Whatever. So, the Gala’s tonight... I wonder how Celeste’s gonna get everything done.”
Octavia’s expression fell. “Oh, buck.”
Vinyl gasped playfully. “Tavi! How dare you-”
The cellist cut off the mocking. “The Gala... I was part of the ensemble! If I spent the night drunk, where did the rest of the group wind up?”
The blue-maned mare looked around the room where the hungover guards and mares were starting to stir. “Well, they’re not in here. Are there any other big rooms in the music wing where an orgy might be held?”
“Nopony said they had an- is that all you ever think about?”
Vinyl winked. “With you around, it’s hard not to.”
Octavia blushed quite fiercely, unable to give a response. Suddenly she was glad all the ponies around them were still mostly asleep.
The DJ she was involved with (for better or worse) trotted out the door, calling back to her. “Are you coming, or are you just going to stand there looking like a tomato?”
The grey mare followed her out into the hallway again. She was getting over her embarrassment, and some of the color had left her face. A small smile had appeared in its place.
“...Where are we going, then?”
“Don’t we need to find the rest of your band?”
“Ensemble.”
“Whatever!”
*** *** ***
Author’s Note:
Hey guys! Long time, no see (well, two chapters ago). I just want to point out that I think I earned the story its ‘teen’ rating with this chapter. Also, I had a lot of fun it with, for reasons that may or may not be related to the the first thing.
Anyway. Thanks for the continued support, and I hope you liked the chapter! Don’t forget to comment whatever you’d like below, like where you want the story to go, or who else you want to see drunk. Feel free to message me if you feel so inclined.
See you guys in two chapters!
-Aryn
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Drunk Shining Armor sleeping with a life size plushie of his sister and Candance. Now that would be embaressing!
1305000
Wtf, dude, no
So, Snips and Snails are in the underground caverns where Candance was hidden. That ought to be fun. Is RD in the palace as well? I wonder where the rest of Octavia's band, I mean ensemble, disappear to and what shape they are in.
I was finding glass in my hair for a week after that night. And I still remember most of it too. Did you know that Celestia is an AMAZINGLY seductive pole dancer?
1305000 I say yes! That has got to be sooo embarrassing!!!! And if some one got it on tape!
1305319 Dude, it's not like he was sleeping with the real ones, plus he would be drunk!
Shining Armor wakes up swimming in the Mane Six.
Conversely, Cadence wakes up in the same room swimming in six guards.
All together now...
"Aww buck."
1308803
You mean the real life mane 6? Including his sister? Aww, dude, thas' jes nasty.
1310235
...If you drink too much, you never know what'll happen. 
I've... heard stories... 
Stories that have allowed me to only get drunk once in my life. If it makes you feel better, you could substitute the Lunaverse Mane Six... 
1311174NO.
1307302Eeeh....
NOT TO FEAR! for I am writing the first chapter now.
1312033
Kay, fine.
1312057grab th' pipe and smash th' mirror, it's actually a window.
Breburn's bout to get raped
1305000 I'm comfortable with this.
1315052 I dunno man. It's Celestia. I'd imagine that "rape" would be pretty consensual, if-ya-know-what-I-mean.
Another fantastic chapter! Looking forward to more!
Please keep writing, I'll keep reading!
I don't suppose you have plans on getting Blueblood into this somehow? Please say you do!
1313049No, but good guess. But you just killed yourself, try again.
1305000Ah- Jus- Wha- NO.
1323308
I wholly approve of this comment.
*Insert evil laugh here*
1323308You, my good sir, are a genious.
Aryn, I'm bringing blueblood into my chapter.1334769
DAAAAAAYUM.
I must say, I've read both of your stories and your writing styles mesh very well together.
I wonder what would happen should you co-write an FoE fic... you'd have a permanent fan here.
1305000 Your my new Favorite, no lie.
1308803
Band vs Ensemble argument... someone was listening to The Vinyl Scratch Tapes!
1305000 I have no idea wat to think bout that...
OMG! BRAEBURN!!
I LOVE this!