The true Psychopath: Chaos vs Illogic

by The Psychopath

Two pairs of swirls

Sorry for lateness. IRL stuff and all that nonsense. (I'm pretty sure I didn't even write that right)

---

Applejack and Rainbow Dash were talking in the apple orchards, with Rainbow lying down on a cloud and eating an apple while the orange cowpony continued to kick trees to make their delicious gifts fall down.

"Ah dunno whatcher talkin' 'bout, Rainbow. I ain't not seen anything wrong 'round these parts. Now, if ya could stop eatin' mah apples, ah'd much appreciate it."

"Why? They're so delicious!"

"Ah know. 'N that's why ya have ta pay for 'em. We've gotta eat too ya know."

Rainbow looked pensive for a moment, then took another bite out of her apple, atleast, she was going to, but screamed when she saw two pink swirls and a smile in her apple. The pegasus proceeded to scream, throw the apple, then fall to the ground. Applejack laughed as she looked at the bite hole in the apple, then back to her friend, who was bent over in quite an awkward position.

"What happened ta you?"

"Owwww. The apple. It's got something in it. I saw two swirls. I think they're his."

"Who, Psycho? Naw. Ah looked in t hat there apple 'n ah ain't found nothin'."

"It's...it was right there!"

Rainbow scampered back up to the apple and started to look at it in every angle possible, before letting her arms drop down to her sides and start babbling.

"I-I-I..."

"It's okay Rainbow Dash." Applejack comforted the pegasus."It happens that we go a bit cuckoo."

"Eheheeheehee. Cuckoo!" yelled a feminine voice, similar to a young filly.

"Shhh. You'll blow our cver." shouted another, more familiar voice.

Both mares began to look around in confusion and caution.

"Applejack."

"Yeah?"

"You don't think that's Psycho, do you?"

"It couldn't be. Ah heard a mare's voice."

"Well, that's because I am a mare. Nopony said that Psycho was always alone anymore. I'm still here, even though you all forgot me because of Discord's invasion."

"Huh?" both mares wondered in confusion.

"Hmph. You don't even remember."

"It's okay. Because we'RE GOING TO FIRE THE PIES OF DOOOM!"

"WAAAAGH!"

Suddenly, the sounds of catapults flinging their ordanance echoed through the orchard, with a pink piece of pie just narrowly missing Rainbow Dash. Many more began to rain down on Rainbow and Applejack, who frantically scattered away. The pegasus took to the skies while the cowpony ran for her barn. As both separated, two weird machines came from the ground and from behind the clouds. The ground one looked like a mole which shot the pies from its oise, while the one in the air was a monkey, who was swimming and firing peye lasers. In no time at all, the landscape became covered in pies and smushed deserts. Applejack was the first who thought she reached safety as she jumped into the barn, closed and locked the door, then hid in a pile a hay. She kept her calm despite her panting, and looked around her hidden position to make sure nopony was in there with her. After a few moments, she gave a sigh of satisfaction.

"Oof. He's gone."

"I wouldn't be so sure."

Next to a now fear-struck mare, sat a stallion who was looking at said mare from the corner of his swirly eyes and a lip smile.

"P-Psycho?"

"Myes."

"You...you wouldn't do that make-up thing on me again, would you?"

"No. My marefriend is going to do that."

"Oh, ok-YOUR MAREFRIEND?!"

"Instead, I'll test one of my vials on you. It's black."

Psycho pulled a smile vial from his hat, showing that it was no bigger or wider than two cherries. It was obviously made of glass, and there was some sort of black liquid rock moving about in it.

"W-what does that do?"

"BONK!" he yelled as he smashed it on her face and dissappeared into the dirt.

Applejack tried wiping her face, but this only served to glue everything she touched onto her body. She finally figured out what the black substance did, but only after looking like a scarecrow. As for Rainbow Dash, the flying monkey actually fired very well from its eyes, nearly landing a direct hit with every volley. The pegasus began to stress and actually felt herself fatiguing. That was something that never happened before, and for good reason, as just a little second of slower made a pie slap her in the wings, then get her pummeled into a cloud and become completely covered by the tasty desert. The monkey then danced around in the air, pulled something out of its rear, and flung it at the pile, before exploding and sending something back to the farm in a fury of smoke.
The pile began to move and rumble, bringing angered growls with it. Out came Rainbow Dash with the fury of a super volcano.

"I'm going to pummel you!" she roared, before darting away towards the smoking ball.

Meanwhile, Applejack was trying to walk forward, pretty much blinded by all the hay, until she was stopped by a tiny thing.

"Applejack? What happened to ya?"

"A certain annoying stallion. Can ya help me get this darn crud off?"

"I would, but now I'm stuck to your leg."

"What?"

"Maybe we should call granny smith. She knows everythang."

"Why aren'tcha worried about being stuck to mah leg?"

" 'Cause yer mah big sister. It's bad, but it ain't that bad if it's mah big sister."

"Awww."

"Hey, look at them. Looks like an evil cabbage."

"Eheehee. Yeah. It does."

"Psycho?" Applejack wondered.

"And?!" asked an irritated voice.

"Uhhhh...Applebloom?"

"I dunno."

An exhasperated growl was heard.

"Why don't I just take the deglue vial and pour it on her?"

"Sure."

Hoof steps crunching straw and rocks underneath its girth became louder and louder as Psycho approached the cowpony. She began to step back, but Psycho was too quick, and the left side of Applejacks face was covered in a more-liquid-than-water liquid of a green color. The hay completely slid off her, revealing the crazed stallion smiling at her.

"I knew it!"

"Almost done."

Then the right side was freed, and the cowpony saw two faces with swirls for eyes. This one was a mare, obviously, and she had some type of pinkish-purple coat. Her mane and tail were all puffed up, and were a mixture of perfect purple and white. She even wore a propeller hat on her head. She looked mad, while Psyco just smiled, until Raibow Dash took a swipe at him, but from her speed, and just a millimeter of distance, the stallion disapeared, allowing the pegasus to plummet into a dancing pile of jelly. The Psychopath reappeared standing atop the pinkish mare's propellor hat, and spinning with the propellor.

"Ahaha!"

"Eheehee!"

The two began to spin around in place, while Applejack checked on a sticky Rainbow Dash. Applebloom, on the other hoof, walked up curiously to the dancing couple. The second Psycho saw her, he jumped off his marefriend and looked at the filly with delight.

"Uhh. Who're you?" the filly asked.

"Didn't we already meet? Maybe I can't remember, or we never met directly...I'm Psycho the Psychopath."

"And her?"

"I'm Screwball."

---

Discord was moving closer to The Sociopath when he felt something.

"Screwball?" he thought aloud.

Without a moment to lose, he engaged hyper-space on his cloud, and appeared almost instantly above the Apple family farm, observing with great delight that the mare was still there.

"There's my dear Screwball. I wonder what she has been during my imprisonment. Hm? Who is that stallion with the hat?"

Down below, one could see Applebloom sucking on a lollipop with Screwball and Psycho messing around with Rainbow Dash, who had her mane perfectlly coiffed like Rarity's, but with its own style, and her hooves were manicured, something the pegasus feared more than anything. Suddenly, without warning, Psycho pulled out a massive cannon and yelled "Fire!".

A massive shell blasted with a deafening boom directly towards Discord, who narrowly dodged it and took a safe distance. He couldn't use his powers yet, as he still needed to do things. He DID make the cannon explode into a nice frozen, orange flavored sorbet, and chuckled at the stallion succumbing to chaos, until said stallion erupted out of it while screaming with a very high pitched tone in a viking costume.

"What? Nopony besides the elements have managed to counter my chaos. Let's try something else. Flick."

A lightning bolt came from a wandering stormcloud, and instead of hitting the colorful stallion, he grabbed the bolt and put it into an icecream cone, completely baffling everyone except Screwball, to whom he passed the treat, and laughed as the mare's mane stood on edge. The white streaks making her look like a mad scientist, Psycho put on a white suit and gave himself the appearance of a stallion with a hump on his back and missing an eye. The god of chaos couldn't believe his eyes. Only those affiliated with chaos could counter his magic. After all, chaos and order were direct descendants of creation and destruction, and no other powers could stop them.

"I think I found a new playmate. Hmmm. It would still be a good idea to meet that green stallion as well. Yoga teleport!"

Discord disappeared in a flash and reappeared right above the home where Black Cloud and Crimson Gaze were returning with whole sacks of loot.

"Haha! That raid was the best. Who thought that the worshippers of the blood god had so much to offer with so little abilities?" Crimson laughed.

"Yes, but I feel we are being left out of the big picture by being given these side-missions. Why can't we aid Sociopath? He must know how to pick up a few mares."

"You disgust me."

"I am but a gentlecolt who keeps to his heart's desires."

"I don't think it's your heart you are trying to satisfy."

"Hmph."

As the two entered the house, they could over hear Sociopath speaking to somepony in threats. This same pony was starting to panic and was screaming maniacally.

"He's at it again."

The two peeked over around the corner of the door to see a stallion wearing a cloak with broken clocks on it. He had gashes here and there, a black eye, and broken teeth scattered on the floor. What was standing next to him wasn't Sociopath, but it looked more like a flesh covered Grim Reaper.

"You shall tell me where she is. You are one who follows the broken clock, so you should know where she is."

"I...I swear I don't know."

"I didn't go through several centuries of life to get my revenge on Psycho and not on her. He was at his weakest, and my trip to the dungeons never revealed his position. Why?!"

*crrrrack*

"GAH! I don't know! You are part of Insanity, while he is part of the Illogic. You are two contradicting forces. You should have known about that a long time ago. Why do you torture me so?"

"Hmph. You are useless to me."

"No wait!"

A blinding red flashed made the two watchers cringe in pain and hide behind the door to wipe their eyes. While Black Cloud seemed unphased by the action, Crimson seemed evily happy.

"Now I KNOW I'm going to like this guy."

---

Rainbow Dash was busy sulking while Applejack was trying to comfort her on her new appearance. Applebloom preferred to talk with Psycho and Screwball, seeing as they didn't seem to be wanting to do anything to her. They were literally pressing faces together.

"So...you two are in love."

"Maybe." Screwball mocked

"Ooo! Maybe she wants to see that."

"That?" Screwball wondered.

"The switch."

"Oh yeah."

"Watch this, Applebloom."

The two ponies, with big smiles, put their heads next to eachother, at perfect eye level. Psycho smacked the left side of his head, and the eyes of said ponies moved to the others socket. He kept this up, and the two continued to laugh as they did it.

"Ewwww. How do you do that?"

"With lots of WUBS! Untsuntsunts."

While the dubstep started, a bizarre white pony was peeking over the apple family house roof, and staring with anger at Screwball. Her eyes were a frightening green, and she seeed to have two twisted unicorn horns, while, She scraped the roof shingles with her sharp, blade hooves while her anger rose and her bladed tail twitched in fury.

"Screwball..." she hissed.

Comments

[NaughtSought]

Oh dang.. Dis gunn' be good.

[The Psychopath]

1474304 Yeah. Sucks, doesn't it?
memeorama.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/TROLL-FACE-DANCE.gif

[BludgeonWarrior]

Let us continue to see where this heads...

[SouthernmostDogs]

Needs more Svell.

[Kill this account]

bulaia.net/wp-content/uploads/et_temp/SHOP-BU-PRODUCTS-393493_441x269.jpg

[Cellin]

wow, gotta love Psycho. He can get annoying when your the target of his antics, but otherwise he seems to be a blast to have around.
Sort of like someone else i know.